help/... too much rage inside.. too many bad aspects??

[lovelyaansh]

hi.

ive been suffering from too much internal, sithering anger from within since many days and i have tried meditation, swimming etc to try and counter it, its lessend but its still there. i havent been able to let go of all the bad experiences i have been put thru at collg and school and somtimes even when im sitting with nothin on my mind i muter abuses and boil from within. i also have a veryyy intense nature and people kind of avoid me saying they get "negative vibes" from me. although i dunno if it is really negative sincei also attract attention veryy easily and stand apart from the crowd. its just the way it is i dunno why i attract that much attention. although im not a bad human being. im just always aching for somebody to understand me. since i kno i am capable of giving a 100% to anybody. also i have this thing that i push myself too hard at anything i do , im very passionate coz i just wanna be the best at watever i do. i cant take position number 2 in anyyything. thats bad i kno.

however ppl eventually cut me off. and wen i get too angry i can do anything. im scared of myself. otherwise in general my usual demeanour is calm and kind of reserved more like a sithering dark scorpion demeanour.

i dunno why im so internaly in a rage. i appear outwardly supercalm but within i am boiling with this unwilted energy and rage that can be triggered easily. i also attract ppl alot. since appearance wise im quiet tall, slim and attractive.

please help me in dealing with all d negative vibes. i feel socially awkward. im intense. and also have too much rage within due to all the injustice i have gone thru.

here are my details



Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Aquarius 23.52 Ascendant Virgo 24.40
Moon Taurus 19.09 II Libra 23.19
Mercury Capricorn 28.25 III Scorpio 23.47
Venus Aquarius 11.07 IV Sagittarius 24.40
Mars Taurus 13.57 V Capricorn 25.24
Jupiter Taurus 27.00 VI Aquarius 25.42
Saturn Capricorn 10.17 VII Pisces 24.40
Uranus Capricorn 4.02 VIII Aries 23.19
Neptune Capricorn 11.26 IX Taurus 23.47
Pluto Scorpio 15.12 Midheaven Gemini 24.40
Lilith Libra 0.32 XI Cancer 25.24
Asc node Pisces 4.52 XII Leo 25.42





Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Square Moon 4.43 -37
Sun Square Jupiter 3.08 -50
Sun Trine Midheaven 0.48 63
Moon Conjunction Mars 5.12 79
Moon Conjunction Jupiter 7.51 157
Moon Trine Neptune 7.43 5
Moon Opposition Pluto 3.58 -218
Moon Trine Ascendant 5.31 36
Mercury Trine Jupiter 1.25 107
Mercury Trine Ascendant 3.45 43
Venus Square Mars 2.49 -48
Venus Square Pluto 4.04 -39
Mars Trine Saturn 3.40 57
Mars Trine Neptune 2.31 38
Mars Opposition Pluto 1.15 -127
Jupiter Trine Ascendant 2.20 35
Saturn Conjunction Uranus 6.15 158
Saturn Conjunction Neptune 1.09 319
Uranus Conjunction Neptune 7.24 52
Neptune Sextile Pluto 3.45 5
1154 -519 635

[bubuza_dulce]

Could you post a chart?

[lovelyaansh]

sure gimme a sec please. m glad u replied

[boribori90]

Oh virgo ascendants...I am one of your kind. All of the V.A's I know are rather reserved emotionally, so I can relate on that matter. I'm not too well versed on the aspects, but I notice your mars in taurus, which supposedly gives you a rather hot-tempered disposition.

You seem to have a pretty powerful chart though, and that heavy energy building up seems to confirm that. Do you have a stellium in the 5th?

My mars is retrograde in gemini, all alone sitting next to my MC, heavily aspected. All that energy pouring into my introverted masculinity. I too build up the rage and just end up brooding for days on end. Some girls like it though haha

By any chance, were you born in 1991?

[lovelyaansh]

hi.. thanks for the reply... i was born on feb 12th 1989. not 1991. ... sorry im not well versed in astrology so i dont kno about the stellium. im trying to upload my birth chart for convenience but its not working

[lovelyaansh]

heres the birth chart link


http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...1&d=1342636495

[bubuza_dulce]

http://astrofix.net/2010/06/09/kille...ts-mars-pluto/

I don't know what other advice I could give you.

I see the anger issue mainly about Mars opp Pluto, Mars conj Moon, Pluto opp Moon. You have other stressful aspects as well. With Sun square Moon and Mars square Venus there seems to be a conflict between feminine and masculine (mother and father etc.) Also between the houses 2nd and 8th - money versus sex, gaining values versus losing them (letting go).

Something about Pluto in the 2nd (where we experience power struggles):
http://skywriter.wordpress.com/2010/...ing-for-spite/

[lovelyaansh]

OMG ur so right... i was depressed throughout my childhoood coz of huge fights between my parents...also isolation at school etc.. my days when my parents fought left me excessively depresed. .

[miquar]

Hi. Because your chart is so dominated by T squares involving Pluto, Mars, Venus, the Moon and the Sun, it could be worth you concentrating some energy on the 'empty leg', which here is in Leo in the 11th house. So something like finding a group environment through which you can express who you uniquely are, or aligning yourself with a socially progressive cause which you feel wholehearted about and perhaps which involves helping to create a society where people can express themselves. These are just broad examples of course, and from what you said in the original post, it would be no picnic for you to be in a group. But its a commonly espoused idea about the empty leg, so it might be worth some thought.

Generally, it sounds like you'd benefit from ongoing therapy to get to the root of what you are really angry about - to get into all those feelings of competitiveness and rage in a safe environment where there are no repercussions for your friendships, etc.

If this course of action does feel right for you, it could be worth starting this year. Transiting Saturn hits the T squares next year, and building a solid foundation of self-exploration in advance could help to bring out the productive and liberating potential of these Saturn transits.