when will i find the right person?

[Hikaru]

hi, i'm new here
my question is simple
when will i find the right person?
by right person i mean someone, lets say "perfect", loyal, straight, clear, direct, etc...
if you need background, i meet this girl in 2006, we broke up in about November 2008 (she left me for another), she got pregnant by this guy she was with during that time and we came back February 2009, and we broke up again in April 2012 (she was starting to hang out with someone, and i knew where that was going), i do miss her a lot, and also the one i considered my daughter, she actually left in april 6, anyways, i just punting that as information, so i really want someone with who i will not pass through all that pain again, i do care about this new person being pretty, but really loyalty is more important to me, and that she be a girl who speaks her mind, not someone who just keeps everything to herself, that would be exactly perfection to me.
so my question is, when will i find this person?, or if ever...
thanks in advance
may i also point that i want my next relationship to last as long as possible, if all my entire life, i really don't want to be with a thousand girls, just one

by the way, since i am new here, i don't know if i posted this right, i also don't know how to attach images, since i don't know from where can i get the link, so instead of deleting or anything, please let me know if something was wrong, and i will edit, thank you



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the question was made in july 9- 2012. at 5:34pm, in 74W05 - 4N20, EST

[Hikaru]

Please, anyone answer

[Anachiel]

Boy, if you ever find out how to pass through life without pain or only find the 'right' person, I want to know the secret, too.

The secret that you are on to is that you are creating healthy boundaries and not taking the short-cut to being with people. You get to know them first and have, for lack of a better word, compassionate standards. No one is perfect, including you so, you are not likely to find a perfect person but, you can find a person whom you have synergy with. In other words, despite the warts and all, your being together adds to each others constructive and positive movement and is supportive, rather than detractive and destructive.

Now, for the chart: Not surprizingly, you are signfied by Saturn, exalted in the 10th. The Sun is in the 7th, of other people and is about to square you. The timing is in about 4 weeks. I'd say 4 days, really, but timing is tricky.

It's not ideal and it will have it's complications. The Moon about to sextile Jupiter in the 5th, that is an apect we usually see with people who ask about having children. Interestingly, you did mention children; that you consider this woman's child to be your own.

I think really this chart is showing the possibility of this other woman returning. Possibly of your concern for the child. I think there are some issues there that you need to face and address, if even within your own self so you are free, mentally and emotionally, to move forward, if that is what you choose to do.

However, judging from this horary, your history with this other woman is not done and there are still things to be resolved without you neccessarily getting trapped or prematurely re-committing in any way.

I know it is not the answer you want to hear but, your path is not yet clear for other things or people, yet. Address what is before you in the most honest and compassionate way possible and, remember, sometimes people do mature and change, for the better, but they will never be perfect.

[Hikaru]

well, first of all.
THANK YOU!
you just made my day, actually i am glad i read your answer.
yes, i am one of those who always seeks the reason for whatever is going on, i studied physics and psychology..
anyways its been a lil more than 3 months, and i feel i am ready to move on, of course i love her and i have come to forgive her, but i come to realize that she will always be her, and that for whatever reason she loves to bash herself against the world, i just thought i would be able to help her, and the problem was.. that i was right, and in the end she will always reject the people who is willing to give her a hand; so given that i have come to the decision of moving on and look for someone who above all speak whatever is going on in her mind, the few women i know like this are well beyond their 50s and is life what teach them the hard way that they have the right to speak their mind.
you mention the possibility of her returning, is there a way you could elaborate more?

i know by now that if she was to come back it wouldn't work out, or at least it wouldnt be a bed of roses, and i had enough pain with her already
i do care about the child, since she left with her and as far as i now, this child is not going to school, or being take care of (last i knew is she was sick), actually since she hates the biological father, she never really had any warm feelings towards this child, while she was here she was going to school, had a doctor and was very well feed. so perhaps if i was to come back with her the only reason would be this child, and that is the problem, it wouldn't be of any help for a child to see her mother in bad terms with the one who is supposed to be her father, even if she had it all

as stated before, yeah i am looking for a perfect one, but in the sense that this person, speaks out her mind, and that this person be reliable, not someone who fluctuates all the time, nothing more

also what do you mean by "It's not ideal and it will have it's complications".
i mean, does it look like a fight or an argument, or plain cold meeting?

thank you for your answer

and by the way, it did helped me a lot, i am moving on, and you are right about the compassionate standards, (i may be an ***, but i take that as a compliment) if i could i would just give myself to the red cross full time, but so far i have not been able to. for some reason i just cant turn my back to other people.. specially when i feel something about them, but now i got it clear that you cant just change their minds or make up for whatever they have to deal with in their lives

[dr. farr]

(Following is not in accordance with standard horary practice and uses whole sign house format)

This being a "when" question, I'll use the Man's Lot of Marriage (ascendant+venus-saturn) to attempt an aproximation
-MLOM (I use this to symbolize a long term marriage-like relationship, NOT necessarily an actual formalized marriage) falls @ 26 Leo
-the MLOM suggests an ideal person would have the qualities of both the sign Leo and of its dispositor, the Sun (it does NOT necessarily mean that the person would be an ascendant or a sun-sign or moon-sign Leo, although of course, this might be the case)
-placement of the MLOM in Leo suggests auspicious time for meeting such an ideal person would be when the Sun transits the sign of Leo; relative to the Moon, whenever the Moon is passing through Leo; realtive to days of the week, Sundays
-now, time approximations:
a) in the chart (not in an ephemeris), Saturn (querent's signifcator as lord of the 1st house) around the chart to conjunction with the MLOM = 10 signs = 10 time units
b) Sun (significator of the MLOM) around to conjunction with Saturn = 3 signs = 3 time units
c) querent's co-significator Moon around (in the chart not in an ephemeris) to conjunct the MLOM = 4 signs = 4 time units

Average 10+3+4 time units = 17 divided by 3 = (rounded) 6 time units
Minimum/maximum = 3 minimum to 10 maximum time units

I'll give each time unit the value accorded to Leo* in time by al-Biruni = 47.5 days, therefore:
Average estimate of "when" = 9/10 months
Minimum = 4/5 months
Maximum = 16 months

...from the date of this question

(*why Leo? because of the placement of the key indicator in this chart, the MLOM, in that sign)

[Hikaru]

thank you DR.

but i am not clear abut the Leo timing, i understand it would take from 4 years on to 16, but would it be on Sundays, or within July 22 to august 22?

thank you

[dr. farr]

Regarding the Leo-affinitive time, this is taken from the works of al-Biruni regarding zodiacal time-frame parameters (see my thread under this heading in the Horary Techniques forum) This is, of course, just one of several possible such time-frame groupings, but is one I have seen fairly closed verified in actual practice; the time-unit connected with Leo by al-Biruni is 47.5 days, and my estimations were approximated on that figure (so, eg, 10 time-units @ 47.5 days = 475, which I gave as 16 months)

With the MLOM posited in Leo, astrologically favorable times for MEETING (or going out looking to MEET) an ideal person, would be the times connected with the sign the MLOM is in, ie, Leo: so, during the Leo Sun-sign time, during the 2 days each month the Moon transits Leo, and anytime on Sundays (which day is "ruled" by the Sun, and by Leo), would be favorable times for finding/meeting/seeking, this ideal person.