I've thinking a lot recently about my friendships, and even family relationships. I want to make it clear I love them all very much, and I'm a very loyal and steadfast person, but thinking about it, I'm actually quite detached, although it's not actually very obvious.
I just feel as if, I'm not going to miss people that much when I move away from them, and this partially makes me feel guilty. I do want to stay in contact with all of them, of course, but it would pain me as much as it should, not to. I also feel as if I'm not as close to anyone as I'd like to be. I must stress, that I have NO trust issues, whatsoever! I want to be close to people, but it makes me feel uncomfortable and squirmy.
Lastly, I don't really have a bestfriend, I have 'close' friends, but no bestfriend. Now the funny thing is, through out my life, many people have actually admitted that they saw me as their bestfriend. Even people I hardly have know for a lot time, people who I've not been intimate with at all. I can be quite charming to people, and people seem to attach very easily!
As a footnote, I sometimes feel like I have to fake certain emotions to appear normal... anyone else relate?