Relationship going nowhere - nodal issues and grand cross in synastry?

[hermetic]

I am currently in a 2.5 year long relationship that I have a feeling has not moved in a sense of any of us maturing or planning for the future and I attribute this to our reverse Nodal axis. His NN(Capricorn) is exactly on my SN and vice versa. So we differ radically as to where we are/where are we going.

(I am the blue, inner circle, he is outside)

Otherwise, we get along fairly well and from the first day there was a feeling of comfort and familiar teritory(karmic tie?), but I have this uneasy feeling that neither of us is growing, we are just comforted in what we have and hold on to that.

Another issue that may be causing some blockages is a mutable grand cross in synastry, his natal square of Mars and Saturn makes a grand cross with my natal square of Venus and Neptune, almost exact to a degree.
His natal Mars Saturn square made him rigid, mostly material based and in constant struggle with himself. My Venus Neptune square gives me dreamy, unrealistic predisposition, so we are basically very different in how we perceive things and live our lives.
Now we have this grand cross that I suppose isn't making any of these natal squares easier but even harder. As for myself, I can attest to being evermore prone to avoiding reality than before, and I have no explanation for it being as it is.
I'm an artist but feel heavy block in my energy and lack any kind of inspiration since I've been with him, that wasn't like this before. It makes me really sad. I don't know what it's like for him, I think he feels mostly comforted but no intention of moving in with me/taking any kind of action(Mars blockage?)

While I do love him with all my heart I cannot help but think of this relationship as burdening is some way, I cannot explain precisely but feeling it on small stuff daily, and looking at it on a larger scale I do not see anything changing even 10 years in the future.
There is a issue of almost 10 year age difference, not much of an issue per se, but we never talk children, he doesn't know if he wants them(SN in 5th), while I have my maternal instinct very powerful, (Cancer asc, NN in Cancer) and feel life of not having children for me would be completely wasted. We have talked about this, but he has no answers, he thinks what happens will happen.
We also have our Moons in square and Mercurys are also squared, and not so much bonding aspects overall.

Can you make some general assumptions based on this Nodal Axis positions, and the grand cross in general in synastry, or take a look at this synastry and tell me how you see it? Any help greatly appreciated, because I've nowhere found much info about this. Is there any way to resolve all this conflicted planets trapped inside of this grand cross, how to go on about it?
Mostly, I am looking for advice on how to improve things, as I hope things could be better because aside from these issues I think this is a man I want to be with in my life, and wish we can work on this.

[sandstone]

hi hermetic,

i noticed you posted on another post that i also had.. it gave me a chance to look at your individual chart as you had linked to it as well.. you are experiencing the saturn return and of course saturn rules your 7th house while being in the sign of relationship- libra. being with someone older would seem natural and make sense astrologically. since you want to talk about the nodes i think it is worth mentioning your chart has it's own internal conflict of its own regardless of how it overlaps with his.. sun/mercury squares onto your nodal axis from libra to cancer/cap indicating some of the stress around whether he is interested in having children and just where you are going in this relationship - long term - with him. as well t pluto is on the south node in your chart at present, so a need to let go or purge yourself of what interferes with your thought of having a familiy/children would seem to connect to this on some level..

the funny thing is his venus/mercury sit on your north node and opposite his own north node, indicating a strengthening of these same cancerian qualities that you are drawn to.. obviously a more in depth analysis of the nodal axis overlap here would help. i am a novice to interpreting the role of the nodal axis in charts, but it would seem to me the fact they overlap like this is a net positive instead of a negative..

i go back to the saturn transit to your chart as the critical consideration at this moment in your life.. how do you move forward in this relationship, or have you hit the end of the road where it is necessary to let go and move on? i think you have everything to do with the direction your life goes in from this moment forward.. obviously you care for this person very much, but are confused at this moment in time about the ultimate direction of your life together with him.. i think this is understandable given how saturn forces a person to take a hard look at the reality and assess just how strong the relationship actually is.. can it sustain and support the direction you would like to see it go in?

i have said many times on this site before, i have great difficulty with these synastry charts from the pov of finding them a real burden to look at.. i wish they designed these freebie charts better so one could look at them more easily, but these are just my subjective feelings getting in the way here.. that said, i see a number of very nice contacts between the 2 charts without getting an in depth look given this format.

i wish you every success working thru your present relationship situation. i think it has everything to do with you and not so much with him.. the nodal axis has 2 ends to it.. the fact both of them overlap very closely in your charts i see as a net positive balancing one another out.. if you think of the north node as more materialistic in nature, verses the more spiritual emphasis from the south node, it might help you to see it this way too.. the fact his mercury/venus sit so closely to your north node suggest his presence strengthens what you appear to be drawn towards, while he may also be strengthened but from a more spiritual position. the saturn transit is really the defining moment to your chart here.. it is your 1st saturn return and a strong one putting great focus on the 7th house - saturn rulership.. also the 5th house of children is emphasized if you consider pluto has having a connection to the 5th sign/house scorpio.. t saturn is backing up over pluto right now and will do its station late june at 22 libra right on your natal saturn.. good luck sorting it out..

[Vista]

I agree with Sandstone, this type of synastry chart is almost worthless to look at without degrees of the house cusps and planets. Would you mind posting both charts separately?

[hermetic]

Thank you both
I added both separate charts to my original post.

Sandstone, thanks a lot for the thorough reply, and for making me think about Saturn again. As I went thru many life changes recently that had nothing to do with my relationship, I attributed all those to Saturn influence, but not this one, how silly

I do get you on the balancing between nodes, and hopefully it is more positive than negative influence, and my own issues really need to be sorted here, I am aware. I just wish we could work beyond this. Funny, I figured my Saturn return was over now, didn't realize it will retro back so far to my natal again. And ever since it started going retrograde, I just checked now, in the past month or so we have had some serious quarrels after which I really wanted to just go, and leave all of that behind me, and yet couldn't, I felt too weak to do so.

Many thanks for noticing children/family themes in Pluto being involved also; just the other day I saw the Pluto was right on my SN, but I didn't connect those two. You gave me a lot to think about

[Vista]

Originally Posted by hermetic

I am currently in a 2.5 year long relationship that I have a feeling has not moved in a sense of any of us maturing or planning for the future and I attribute this to our reverse Nodal axis. His NN(Capricorn) is exactly on my SN and vice versa. So we differ radically as to where we are/where are we going.

(I am the blue, inner circle, he is outside)

Otherwise, we get along fairly well and from the first day there was a feeling of comfort and familiar teritory(karmic tie?), but I have this uneasy feeling that neither of us is growing, we are just comforted in what we have and hold on to that.

Another issue that may be causing some blockages is a mutable grand cross in synastry, his natal square of Mars and Saturn makes a grand cross with my natal square of Venus and Neptune, almost exact to a degree.
His natal Mars Saturn square made him rigid, mostly material based and in constant struggle with himself. My Venus Neptune square gives me dreamy, unrealistic predisposition, so we are basically very different in how we perceive things and live our lives.
Now we have this grand cross that I suppose isn't making any of these natal squares easier but even harder. As for myself, I can attest to being evermore prone to avoiding reality than before, and I have no explanation for it being as it is.
I'm an artist but feel heavy block in my energy and lack any kind of inspiration since I've been with him, that wasn't like this before. It makes me really sad. I don't know what it's like for him, I think he feels mostly comforted but no intention of moving in with me/taking any kind of action(Mars blockage?)

While I do love him with all my heart I cannot help but think of this relationship as burdening is some way, I cannot explain precisely but feeling it on small stuff daily, and looking at it on a larger scale I do not see anything changing even 10 years in the future.
There is a issue of almost 10 year age difference, not much of an issue per se, but we never talk children, he doesn't know if he wants them(SN in 5th), while I have my maternal instinct very powerful, (Cancer asc, NN in Cancer) and feel life of not having children for me would be completely wasted. We have talked about this, but he has no answers, he thinks what happens will happen.
We also have our Moons in square and Mercurys are also squared, and not so much bonding aspects overall.

Can you make some general assumptions based on this Nodal Axis positions, and the grand cross in general in synastry, or take a look at this synastry and tell me how you see it? Any help greatly appreciated, because I've nowhere found much info about this. Is there any way to resolve all this conflicted planets trapped inside of this grand cross, how to go on about it?
Mostly, I am looking for advice on how to improve things, as I hope things could be better because aside from these issues I think this is a man I want to be with in my life, and wish we can work on this.

Hi Hermetic,
To be honest, I don't think any aspect between partners is insurmountable, although some are more difficult than others. I believe it really depends on the individuals and how they have handled this life's challenges. I do think you are going to break it off with him with Transiting Saturn coming back to square your DES followed by the 7th ruler Saturn. The other thing going on it Transiting Uranus opposing your Sun. While not directly affecting your relationship, it does affect you in general. I think it's making you question what is important in your life and if this is the right man. Many times when a break-up happens under a retrograde transit, you could get back together again and on the final pass of the transit when it goes direct will solve the problem whatever that might be. For now though, I am thinking a break-up.

[hermetic]

Vista, thank you for the reply. It makes a lot of sense, and this is currently a hot topic in my life, and I've given it a lot of thought, astrologically and otherwise. As I said I think about breaking up often, yet i feel I am nowhere even close about doing it.
I think we're both somehow trapped here. I nataly have the Venus-Neptune square, highly idealistic about relationships, so I really can't judge my own relationship properly as my moods and current dealings highly influence my view of it. This is additionally influenced by his Mars and Saturn, planets very opposite in nature to mine, so I feel he kind of makes a 'balance' to my unbalanced views and perceptions, keeps them grounded but in a suffocating way(hard aspects)
With my Venus in Virgo I tend to be very servile and later feel like a martyr and I am often very passive aggressive about my needs, so I figure a different approach from my side could possibly change things, for better or worse. I'll give it some time, will be working on it and hopefully we'll be able to create some more ideal terms for both of us. I feel the change is, at this point, necessary like air. If things don't really develop anymore from here, yes, break up is very possible. Once again, thanks for the reply