Personality issues

[soratothamax]

Okay, I know I'm pretty annoying. It's just that I'm relatively new to astrology and so want more insight. I only found out we have more to our chart just this summer.

Okay, I have a big issue with myself. I feel that I'm a pushover. Even though I do think I have some strengths, like I'm able to have my own mind about things, I can't seem to assert myself. I've been unemployed for quite some time, and it's very hard for me to assert myself without help. I still live with my mother. My mother isn't the best person to receive help from. She has a personality that is very controlling. For my whole high school years, she picked out all of my clothes. As I tried to make my own choice on what to wear, tension rose and arguments broke out frequently. She always had a very bad tempered, to add I'm very sensitive, so I very seldom got important things accomplished, or very seldom have a voice neither am I able to make my own choices without thinking about everyone it will affect. Receiving help with homework, learning how to drive, or learning anything from my mother has been a challenge, and so I find myself handicapped on many things that I should know well. Her patience is low and she isn't a very understanding or sensitive person. She's a bit vain and self-centered, though she's always taken care of me physically, she insists that she wants to take care of me, and discourages me from working, because she doesn't want to be alone, as she's single, and is afraid if I get good employment I will move away.

At the same time, I'm really passive. I have a hard time getting up and out, and even hanging with friends. I'm a bit of a loner. I get easily overwhelmed, especially when I'm doing anything with my mother. Because I have a twin sister I don't really need a lot of friends, but we both have the same issue. My mother is extroverted, and hates to do anything alone, and so insists that I come with her everywhere. I'm nervous about arguments if I refuse, or tension, and so I go along with the program. I feel that I was born into a situation that limited me. My mother dominates every avenue of my life, including what I wear, and she controls whether I leave the house, and how. But my passive nature allows this, and my loner mentality has a hard time reaching out to people who can help me.

I also have a lot of responsibilities at home, and I do them well, but it also limits me from relaxing. I'm always very nervous, and I have a hard time speaking up about it. Her motto is as long as I live in her house I'm not an adult. And though most of the time, I'm obedient, I find it hard to "grow up" from her clutches without feeling nervous.

I would like to know where I can find some good luck in my chart or where I can be successful? Why do I keep having these issues? These issues with my mother is what prompted me to get into astrology to find some answers about my personality and hers. What insight do you guys have?

My chart is the first one and her chart is the second one.

Thank you.

[datvirgochick]

OMG that sounds exactly like my mom....

[Moog]

Originally Posted by soratothamax

Okay, I know I'm pretty annoying. It's just that I'm relatively new to astrology and so want more insight. I only found out we have more to our chart just this summer.

Okay, I have a big issue with myself. I feel that I'm a pushover. Even though I do think I have some strengths, like I'm able to have my own mind about things, I can't seem to assert myself. I've been unemployed for quite some time, and it's very hard for me to assert myself without help. I still live with my mother.

I imagine that the assertion problem is your out of sect Mars in Pisces.

My mother isn't the best person to receive help from. She has a personality that is very controlling.

You have the Moon (mother) assembled with Pluto (power, control). Scorpio is not the best sign for the Moon. I read something yesterday that interested me, that the Moon in Scorpio "Prefers to attack problems, rather than address them." Perhaps you also co-author the unpleasant situation with combativeness? If not directly expressed, then with passive aggression.

For my whole high school years, she picked out all of my clothes. As I tried to make my own choice on what to wear, tension rose and arguments broke out frequently. She always had a very bad tempered, to add I'm very sensitive, so I very seldom got important things accomplished, or very seldom have a voice neither am I able to make my own choices without thinking about everyone it will affect.

Not being heard: Your Mercury is retrograde and opposed by the Pluto/Moon conjunction. Saturn is in its domicile in the 3rd house (communication).

Receiving help with homework, learning how to drive, or learning anything from my mother has been a challenge, and so I find myself handicapped on many things that I should know well. Her patience is low and she isn't a very understanding or sensitive person. She's a bit vain and self-centered, though she's always taken care of me physically, she insists that she wants to take care of me, and discourages me from working, because she doesn't want to be alone, as she's single, and is afraid if I get good employment I will move away.

Aww, that's quite sad, it sounds like she has problems too.

She has a well tenanted Leo 1st house, with the Moon, Jupiter and Venus all present. Wow, I imagine she really does quite highly of herself, though I believe the Saturn trine will reign that in somewhat.

I would like to know where I can find some good luck in my chart or where I can be successful? Why do I keep having these issues? These issues with my mother is what prompted me to get into astrology to find some answers about my personality and hers. What insight do you guys have?

Her mars is in her 3rd house, which also rules the 4th. She will naturally want to dominate the home, and be the dominant speaker ("What I say, goes!")

There's a richness of things that could be looked at here, and I'm quickly running out of time to do so... I wish I had more free time to look. I realise I've not been very helpful so far, I seem to be much better at diagnosis than treatment. I do want to help though, and I will return to look again.

Do you know how to create a synastry chart on astro.com? It would help if you could post a third chart in that format. A relationship composite might help too.

[soratothamax]

Originally Posted by Moog

I imagine that the assertion problem is your out of sect Mars in Pisces.

You have the Moon (mother) assembled with Pluto (power, control). Scorpio is not the best sign for the Moon. I read something yesterday that interested me, that the Moon in Scorpio "Prefers to attack problems, rather than address them." Perhaps you also co-author the unpleasant situation with combativeness? If not directly expressed, then with passive aggression.

Not being heard: Your Mercury is retrograde and opposed by the Pluto/Moon conjunction. Saturn is in its domicile in the 3rd house (communication).

Aww, that's quite sad, it sounds like she has problems too.

She has a well tenanted Leo 1st house, with the Moon, Jupiter and Venus all present. Wow, I imagine she really does quite highly of herself, though I believe the Saturn trine will reign that in somewhat.

Her mars is in her 3rd house, which also rules the 4th. She will naturally want to dominate the home, and be the dominant speaker ("What I say, goes!")

There's a richness of things that could be looked at here, and I'm quickly running out of time to do so... I wish I had more free time to look. I realise I've not been very helpful so far, I seem to be much better at diagnosis than treatment. I do want to help though, and I will return to look again.

Do you know how to create a synastry chart on astro.com? It would help if you could post a third chart in that format. A relationship composite might help too.

"Perhaps you also co-author the unpleasant situation with combativeness?"

This is very interesting. i'm realizing that my moon is not the best placement. Do you mean I fight with my situation, or when I "attack" problems that means I talk about and complain about my problems instead of fixing them? I can totally relate to that. I'm quite the complainer. And though I mostly keep quiet, I'm quite defensive. And it's definitely with passive-aggression.

Actually, I think you gave me a lot of insight about myself.

That Mars in the 3rd and having it in fourth hit it right on the nail!

I'm not sure how to do a synastry or composite unfortunately. But I'm willing to learn. Thank you for your response.

[soratothamax]

I think I figured out how to do a synastry chart. Let me know if this is correct.