My husband and my synastry chart. This explains all our problems?

[surit4]

Me and my husband have a very hard time getting along, I seem to have sacrificed everything a girl can to make this work, even more than necessary, maybe because i have such a self esteem and I feel i cant get anyone else anymore so im trying really hard in our marriage because there is love there. I made a Synastry chart, and i wasnt suprised. Can anyone tell me exactly where the problems are so I can firgure out how to go around this.

i feel like his mum and sister emotionally blackmail him, and he needs me to stand up to them. But thats all the family they ave and i Really need him to take courage and stand up for himself, rather than standing behind me. i didnt realise how much he needed a 'dominant' woman in his life. Because thats not me at all. we are both passive and just let things happen. but i know this cant be that way for too long. ...any help will be great.

[waybread]

I don't think your synastry is the best. You will both have to decide if you want the marriage to work. If so, please try marriage counselling! Also, you might post your midpoint composite chart. Sometimes the synastry of a couple doesn't look so good, but the composite chart tells a different story about their ability to blend as a couple.

Basically your Saturn (sense of denial, limitation) is sitting on your husband's moon/Venus/Uranus in emotionally intense Scorpio, in his 12th house. This indicates that the women in his family are very important to him, but that he doesn't really understand the dynamic of the relationship because 12th house matters are often hidden from us. With your Saturn there, he knows all too well how you disapprove of your female in-laws, but it is hard for him to bring the issues up to consciousness where he can discuss them. Then your Mars/Chiron opposite your husband's moon/Venus can make you extra critical, even aggressive towards the situation.

I don't think this is going to help anything, however, so if you feel angry, see if there is another more constructive outlet for your frustration. Nagging, for example, only puts you in the wrong in this family dynamic.

It is unlikely that your husband is going to change so long as you live in close proximaty to your in-laws; so you have to decide whether you are either prepared to accept the situation (no marriages are perfect) or live independently.

[surit4]

Thank you Waybread, you comfirmed my thoughts. I even told my husband I dont think we are compatiable. He refuses to believe that. I been with him since i was 17. Im not 26, and a completely different person he had this hold on me and now i wish i was more emotionally stronger to let go because deep inside i iknow that will be best for the both of us. He wants to move out, but he wants me to be in the front line; to fight his mum and his sister, i just dont think thats right and there will be more drift in the family if I cause the fueds. I didnt realise he was like that. His mum emitonally blackmails him and both mother in law and sister in law have emotionally abused me. Im trying to make it work by just accepting it, i dont think I have any other choice if I have to do all the fighting!

I posted the composite chart... loads of red lines .... doesnt surprise me!
Thanks for your astrological input!

[waybread]

The composite chart shows some real power struggles within the relationship.

If you don't have any children, you might contemplate a separation or divorce, and moving further away from your inlaws. You don't need feuding in your life, for sure. Is it possible for you to just walk away? This could take some time if you are financially dependent on your husband.

On the other hand, I am not a big proponent of divorce, but you have to decide whether your love and adaptability are strong enough to overcome so much stress.

[Vista]

You have 12:00pm listed as your husbands time of birth. I am skeptical of on the hour or half hour birth times, especially 12:00pm. You need to disclose this when posting as it does make a big difference in house placement of the planets and the degree of his Moon.

[Vista]

If we look at just the aspects between your composite planets, although there could be some differences of the degree of your composite Moon based on his time of birth, again you see a chart filled with challenging aspects. Not to sound negative but I am curious how you ever ended up together? Perhaps the challenging Saturn links or connections between you are lessons you both still have to learn in this life. Saturn can keep people together even when they don't want to be. It appears(I can't see the degrees of your individual planets in the synastry chart) that you both have hard aspects of Sun Saturn in each of your own natal charts. Usually this is someone who does not have high self-esteem and likely had a parent who was very hard o them or very disapproving. My guess is that you are living out your experience in your childhood again in your adult relationship. Try posting both your charts individually with transits and progressions. We can look at what is going on transit and progression wise to your natal charts.

[surit4]

Hi Vista...thank you so much for looking..I'll post these straight away. And your absolutely right about living my child hood problems in adult hood. Sorry I thought no one else looked at this forum ..so I apologise for late reply..

[surit4]

Here are our charts....