grand cross a heavy burden

[christarose]

I have a grand cross that has kept me face down my whole life. i am exhausted and give up. would anyone like to help me?

[Rageypoo]

whats your birth time

[body_soul_mind]

Hello ! Better go to astro.com --> free horoscopes section --> extended chart selection and then post your chart. That would be easier for people who understands those things to tell you something about it.

[Rebel Uranian]

The grand cross alone doesn't say a whole lot. I'd have to see the planets involved to see what the problem is and how to help you. I have a grand cross too, but my birthchart probably looks quite a bit different than yours.

[christarose]

hi
thanks so much for your reply

may 21, 1956,,,,jamaica new york 2:05 pm

you can rely to me directly to my email,,,,,christarose@rocketmail.com

[Rageypoo]

uh oh...has pluto square sun and a moon/neptune conjunction nataly..this is gonna take a wile to read lol.

UPDATE: ok, we got the good news and bad news.

clearly a happy relationship with the mom, a little too happy, what is going on with you and the mom? moon trine mars, and a neptune moon conjunction in the 2nd is making you pretty sensitive, are you prone to depression?

Orb 1°05' Applying
Aspect is Conjunction
You are a soft, imaginative and sensitive person. You may feel overwhelmed at times by your feelings and need to shut yourself off from the world. You live in a fantasy world and have difficulty coping with reality. You may have developed an unrealistic picture of your mother, and as a result have difficulty letting go either because you feel so at-one with her, or because you feel so disillusioned. You need to develop your artistic, spiritual and creative nature and avoid drugs and negative people. This way you will realise your true potential.

now this pesky pluto square sun natal, is a pain, and will feature alot in your life, I dated a girl who had this in her chart, and wile her life infact wasn't a bad one, she attracted so much negative attention she'd martyr herself into extreme narcissism.

Orb 4°29' Separating
Aspect is Square
You are an explosive and unpredictable person who has trouble controlling your emotions. You are powerful and good at rising to challenges. You need to learn to compromise

pluto square sun is WAY more than what this text describes, visit http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/sunplutoaspects.html and read about it, it's gonna play the biggest role in your life.

you have tremendous aspects however, lots of nice good trines, with your chiron, Hygeia, and ceres, good fitness aspects, and great aspects with mom, just gotta moderate it, there's some hard squares from the mom that I may need to talk to you on a one-on-one basis.

the father was either absent or strict, the grand square includes your saturn in 3rd, pluto in 12th, sun in 9th, and pallas in 6th. is your father alive? what happened with you and your dad growing up? black moon tells alot here

THE BLACK MOON IN THE 4TH HOUSE
Whether you realise it or not you have a dark side of your nature, and you cause some upset for your family. You may believe that your family is the problem or that you have a right to express yourself, but the truth is that in some way you running away from your duties at home. You may expect family members to rescue you, soothing or solving your emotional problems. Deep down though you know that some aspect of your behaviour is upsetting your loved ones and needs to change. Even if your problem is something beyond your control you know that you need to stop lashing out at family members, expecting them to come to your rescue. The Black Moon's gift is the opportunity to bring unconscious or self-defeating behaviour into the light of day where it can no longer run amok.

THE BLACK MOON IN CAPRICORN
You like to be in charge. There is nothing wrong with this trait. In fact it means that you are often willing to take responsibility when others are not. However, the problem comes in that you don't recognise when the need to let go. You don't mean to impose your will on other people. At one level you may believe that you can do a better job, or perhaps you think that you are the only one available. You may not be conscious of excluding other people, but you do. Sooner or later those around you are likely to resent your need for control. The Black Moon represents the darker side of your nature, characteristics you know exist and need to address, but prefer not to acknowledge. This sensitive point is in the serious Sign of Capricorn in your birth chart. Hence your need to be in charge - of everything! You may think that others are trying to tell you what to do, but they are most likely simply trying to help you loosen up a little. You need to face the fact that your sense of duty is self-defeating. Once you can let go, and let others have a say and assist, then you are likely to feel much better. Your strength is accentuated as you learn to be more flexible.

and this makes me wonder about the relationship or the over attachment you have with your mom, and it is going to affect your relationship with women, moon square juno.

grand squares/cross are not that bad, in terms of what they hit. since your midheaven is in gemini and your grand square affects the sun/mercury/south node in gemini, this means a tremendous amount of drive for your career, and as it is in gemini, you may have many going on all at once.

Stimulation and activity are required in your professional life. Communication is also important. You would like to be recognised for your intellect. You may enjoy having more than one profession on the go at once.

use this energy to your advantage, remember this is just natal energy, the real trick is to look at what the progressed planets are doing and how they are affecting your horoscope, since the pluto square sun was so far apart early in your life, it may eventually go away, and you'll overcome a great deal of adversity, cheer up, this is a good thing = )

[christarose]

hi

thanks so much for the read

actually i had no relationship with my mother,,,she was so depressed and negligent I barely knew she existed. she abandoned me totally at age 11. my father was violent and beat me a lot and so i had injuries for the rest of my life

i hear what you say about control in relationships,,,relationships are so rare,,,but i will look at that and yes people have had to take care of me as i was so disabled so actually i had few relationships

mostly i have been bedridden since i was a baby and cannot make friends and so the isolation is unbearable

i have been sharing a house with a man for almost two years and we keep fighting and i listened to what you said about my behavior and maybe neeed to be responsible for the tension in those ways

i looked at his chart and he has heavy aspects too, oppositions of pluto saturn mars and his and mine are on top of each other, is a miracle there was no suicide or homicide in tow years, not even a blow,,,,,

can you look at his and tell me about how we might come to healing

feb 18, 1948 el paso tx 11:05 a.m.

we have been fighting horribly the last two months particularly as he got involved with a woman and i felt threatend and jealous and he cannot deal with any display of emotion

what is your name?

thanks so much

[Rageypoo]

My name is Don.

well the absence thing threw me for a loop, so perhaps the emotions felt from her loss is what is really the problem here, and it will need to be addressed, it could be you still hope that she will return, was she a drug user? (anti-depressants?)

the abuse from the father is evident, and I am truely sorry...

I"m a bit confused on the issue, is this man you are with...are you a woman or a man yourself? I can't tell from the screen name alone, and I don't want to assume, I think it means "christ arose" but it could be Christa Rose for all I know, just want to be clear = )

so what we can take from this is there is an apparent problem with your emotions, and we can get into that more, lets start with just a bit about you, what are your interests, what do you do for fun, how do you spend most of your time? what career path did you chose?

[christarose]

Hi Don

Funny you said christ arose as that is what the name means,,,,,,and i am a woman and so use christa rose,,,

anyway,,i have no real hobbies,,,i have been on a strict spiritual path my whole life when i could function at all, lived in ashram and such mostly alone and secluded doing practice, meditation and such,

i love plants and have a green thumb, i was bedridden my whole life so do not know really waht my interests are,,,but i would have been a natural dancer, artist, scientist, musician, horticulturist, hiker,,,,instead i was only able to be a student of spirituality just to try to get myself up off the floor

i have had no marriage or children or parents siblings aunts cousins ets, i have lived secluded and mostly homeless in my car and such

my IQ is 180 i am brilliant but head injured so,,,,

i am good at astrology too and counseling

my hearts desire is God but as a human being I desired deeply to just have friends and be married, my attempts at friends and relationship all failed as i was so ill,,,,,,like you said people had to take care of me too much and it ended,,,i could not help this,,,i was SO ill all the time,,,i was a burden

last september a miracle happened at age 55 I got a spinal exam and was told my spine could be manipualted to releive the excruciating pain i lived in daily,,,,,,it has been slow but is getting better all the time

in september 2009 i moved into a room in an old house a man caretakes and we got "close" in various ways,,,,we became lovers in the beginning but it was too intense for him my illness and also he had heavy issues with relationship and so i stopped that part and we continued to live together and has been almost two years

he has never had a long term relationship either,,,,early abuse too in his parents but also you can see in his chart he likes women as friends,,,our composite has sun in 3rd,,,brother/sister and he alwys calls me his little sister or friend,,,,,,but i feel this deeper thing,,,,of course his sun is on my mars,,,,,his venus hits nothing of mine so he has less attraction to me but it is in my 7th house

i do not know how to read progressions so cant tell what is happening with us,,,,,like i said,,,it is like both our first long term live in thing,,,and we both about 60 so i think it is important not to run out on it too fast

but we have been fighting a lot the last two months over a woman who approached him at that time

well i never had anyone in my life to be close to and have no other friends so is hard to leave him and be alone and homeless again but do not know how to get along with him now

ok Don thanks so much

[Rageypoo]

Interesting, which such a high IQ...it seems some of your own emotional stress is holding you back, you seem to have a lot of restrictions placed on yourself and wile they may be real, may be more or less psychological than any real physical limitation, many people lose limbs and have some amazing success stories, i'm going to assume you haven't had much light at the end of the tunnel or you wouldn't be driving for such a close relationship with god.

I can also see your IQ is getting in the way, you are using commas as ellipsis in your sentences and using ellipsis in strange ways, what kind of head problem did you or do you have?

If you are keen on astrology, focus on what that moon/neptune conjunction is in your life, start there.

[christarose]

hi

i had head injuries from child abuse and then a few car accidents

can you look at the mans chart to tell me what i might do to keep the peace between us until the universe provides me with a better place to live

his behavior is like my father,,,he gets angry and violetnly throws me out of the house if i show any emotion or want to talk or relate or ask questions about anything he feels is private,,like this woman,,,i cant live like this,,,i have to act dead basically

feb 18, 1948 el paso tx 11:05 am

thanks