Help – can astrology help me with my daughter?

[LonelyRed]

Originally Posted by perkelv

LonelyRed .. You have me astounded ... without fear of contradiction i can say In a nutshell you have anwered my initial question about whether astrology really can help me help in this situation.

Well good. I want to caution that you did not answer all of my initial questions, so my reading was done as to the best of my ability, based on the previous information I had about the specifics of the note and what not. Thank-you kindly for the compliments.

Originally Posted by perkelv

The interpretations i have read here based on just 2 of 3 charts (i haven't posted my wife's) have allowed me with my low emotional IQ to at least begin to understand the dimensions and nature of the underlying issues
Obviously i don't have the "answers" yet but hopefully my approach from here on would be a somewhat more enlightened one.

Well, Gemini Moons and Low Emotional IQs may have a relationship. Again, I'm glad this has helped, and it is truly heartening to see a father so willing to be open to something so unconventional, on behalf of the well-being of his cherished child.

Originally Posted by perkelv

As i read and re-read some of the things you posted, little things i recall make a lot of sense now ... more than i would have space to write here.

Astrologically, as regards my chart, without knowing me, you hit the nail on the head in quite a few areas. A couple things don't seem to resonate as somehow i don't feel myself as typically "Taurean" ... whatever that is.

I want to begin to echo Munch here, when she starts to talk about some of your other astrological aspects, and "avoiding" some of the stuff associated with them, or disowning it. Your Sun is very much in a similar position, so yes, as you go onto say here:

Originally Posted by perkelv

I identify strongly with the Taurus aspects of security and comfort ( who doesn't?!) ... however i reject the idea of me being stubborn, my wife is the only person i've heard call me that.

A Taurus doesn't have to be stubborn, or be seen as such, but when it comes time to stay somewhere for the long-haul, a Taurus identifies with that fixed-ness of purpose, and yes, in the negative, this can be exhibited as stubborness. You should just keep in mind you have a few aspects which indicate some denial of "less desirable qualities." Your Wife may be onto something, if only a hint of insight into some personal limitations. Be forewarned that the world of astrology will open you up to aspects of yourself you may have been unaware of before. Ignorance may be bliss but especially if you are looking to mend a wounded situation, such as this one with your family, it is good to see how parts of yourself you may deny are playing out to prevent peace.


As you say here:

Originally Posted by perkelv

I know Taurus Sun can imply a certain laziness and i do admit to that. Not in the conventional or physical sense though ... i rarely sleep more than 4 hours a day keeping up with my interests in technology, chess, jazz (i play several woodwinds) etc ... but when it comes to emotional conflicts and turmoil, i would rather "go to sleep" and hope it all goes away when i wake up. Intellectually i know it's wrong but ...

That is very "avoidant" behavior, to start with the bit about going to sleep when there is an issue. It is the comfort the Taurus Sun seeks, and the lack of involvement the Gemini Moon seeks. Very accomplished, though, so don't start to think that you can't pursue your dreams doggedly, you just avoid conflict and shut down. That doesn't make it go away, and this behavior can certainly be incredibly stubborn, even if you haven't outright said, let alone thought, "no, I won't deal with this!! I refuse!"

Originally Posted by perkelv

By the way, where did you get those descriptive and very apt astrological interpretations? I certainly haven't seen them in any texts I've looked at up till now.

They are my own. They are as such because this is holistic style of reading, which seeks to combine all of the chart synergistically, to create a whole image that is an actual picture of something, that has neither opposing nor agreeing descriptions of things, but is that actual description of whole being or concept with some dark spots and light spots, as images often have, that give them depth, meaning, and presence.

Originally Posted by perkelv

I'm not going to answer all you said sequentially, but go to the thing that struck me most on first reading your last post and that goes to the heart of my attempts to "fix" my daughter's problem.

And as you go onto say, this was:

Originally Posted by perkelv

At one point [in a conversation] she actually said something like " you're only pretending to care because this makes you feel upset and uncomfortable."
I remember thinking at the time, "how could she say that?"

Now I'm sure you see why. A Gemini Moon will want to fall asleep when it learns the paces Scorpio Moon wants to put it through to make it "prove" its true care and concern about a situation. Put it to you this way, it is a basic emotional incompatibility, and you shouldn't stress yourself trying to make it work. You won't be able to talk your way out of this with her (which is what you want to do, just talk about it, which is a Gemini Moon), because she is looking for a depth and intensity you just don't have in you. I suggest you continue to be yourself and focusing on supporting her through the healing/growing process of psychotherapeutic guidance.

Originally Posted by perkelv

In retrospect,and in reading your "Gemini moon" interpretation. There is some truth there. While i do care about her deeply. I would have never been shaken out of my own world to this extent to really try and understand her "simple teenager needs" ...

And again, nor should you. But you can identify with your fears about the situation (and this what we all mean about you projecting, get in touch with your deepest worries for her, and understand why they are there) and feel those feelings to guide how you react towards her. It is simply practice of empathy, and her Scorpio Moon will reward you. Just give her space, which is good for a Gemini Moon, and don't ask too many questions, which may be a bit harder. Become even, a little bit more interested in talking about yourself (will not be easy for a lot of reasons, astrologically, and as your father), but keep things hopeful, by dealing with things as they are. You be the beacon of light, of which is rationale and the reality that life is good and bad, and demonstrate, not say, that you are someone she can rely on to give her a good sense of how things are.

Originally Posted by perkelv

My initial thoughts when this started would have been something like:"what could be so hard for her ... she's been so protected she doesn't know what a hard life is yet"

Life is hard in different ways at different times and is different for every person.

Originally Posted by perkelv

what about my Cancer ascendant?

That's your outlook and approach, papa. A Cancer Ascendant puts value and precedence upon the family relationship, and approaches things by way of trying to achieve and maintain a sense of security and well-being in the home, and by approaching things indirectly. It certainly highlights the Moon and the emotive aspects of life, but your Moon is in Gemini, so you are characterized by a Moon that is inconsistent, and relies on the freedom to be curious and explore. You want a daughter that you can take every weekend to the museum, or have a hobby you share with your wife. That's how your ASC works with your Moon, do you see? You want a fulfilling emotional connection with your family, on the terms associated with your Moon in Gemini.

As you go onto say:

Originally Posted by perkelv

You made this very insightful observation that could to be at the heart of the matter.
So in my daughter's case, if all this is true, what you're saying is that her Capricorn need for order and her Scorpio need for harmony (in the home) is conflicting the Scorpio need for "truth"?

In terms of her own problems with her anger, that's a great way to put it. You are experiencing in your own way, as evidenced through your irritated relationship with your wife. Even your Cancer ASC knows a truly stable, secure home, must be nestled in what is real and genuine (Scorpio Moon), not held together by some ideal of how things should be which is what a Gemini Moon wants to think is possible and a Capricorn Sun would try to uphold at all costs.

Originally Posted by perkelv

At the end of the day we have to do what's best for all, but in my opinion, my daughter's well-being should take precedence.

I'm glad this is so, and I hope you can see that psychotherapy will help her immensely, and that nothing about this is permanent, since so many things are contingent on something needing to change.

Originally Posted by perkelv

Ok .. having commented on the central issue i just want to say thanks for the interpretation on the other aspects on my chart. Although i didn't understand all of it.
specifically:

Sorry this was unclear. Your Sun, which is your Center, is fueled by the energies associated with your Mars, to express itself. When Mars is Square the Sun, you struggle with these energies, not necessarily being at odds, but sometimes clashing with others that frustrates or hampers your self expression and can overheat your Sun- leading to anger or competitiveness. When it is opposed Pluto and Jupiter, you may bottle it up and not express the issues at all, which over time, will erode your capability to cope with things, and diminish your self expression.

I hope this is clearer. It should be.

And one last thing about Mars in Aquarius, for your further understanding, you said:

Originally Posted by perkelv

Wow .. i never saw that interp for Mars in Aqua (except for the last part about being compelled) ... but yikes .. that is so much how i feel sometimes!
Funny thing is my wife also has Mars in Libra but is nothing like that ... very much more a "people person".

Are you saying that your wife is also an Air Sign Mars but totally different than you?


you also said:

Originally Posted by perkelv

I am definitely an idealist but can be a team player. I worked hard early and acquired sufficient seniority in my career really early so that i never had to worry too much about "bosses" ... i work independently (usually report to a CEO who i normally have no problem with).

This makes sense to me. Aquarius is humanitarian and desires to work together with others, just not too close... note how you said you work independently.

Originally Posted by perkelv

maybe that orb for Pluto opp Mars is too large

I'm not convinced. I think you're probably unaware of its impact or have dissociated from it. Or, you've found successful outlets. It might also be that inability to note how your "fears" might play into how you think this situation should play out. (Let me remind you you started off saying you wanted to keep the marriage because you "felt" it was better, a feeling based on a fear for what would happen to your child, or at the very least, an imagined concern for its impact that would be too much for her at her young age.)

Originally Posted by perkelv

I believe another poster (Munch) posted something similar, but somehow i don't see these things quite like that. Yes i fear for my daughter's well-being, and particularly her ability to cope. But as far as anything else it's a different story. So far there is one essence of the, "ME that i know", hasn't really see come out in any of the computer charts i did ... and that is a certain optimism (maybe over-) that transcends everything else. If i were to guess astrologically, i'd say it would be my Jupiter in Leo that trumps some other negative aspects.

First of all, great you recognize your optimism! This lends itself to a confidence and an assuredness that allows you to handle things nobly and gracefully. It can make you high and mighty too, but you have a way to spread this joy with others. As for the fears, just again, going back to your original belief about keeping the marriage and trying to hold on to it until your child is an adult, THAT is precisely what I mean about projected fears about the situation and what it means, clouding your vision (at least initially clouding, so this is why astrology is spiritually illuminating) to what is ACTUALLY most helpful and necessary, or what your child REALLY needs. (Some dang truth Dad, not a bogus relationship held together for "my" well-being which is really YOUR definitions of things. Just role-playing here!)

Originally Posted by perkelv

Even when confronted with the worst situations i Know that my soul will grow. In spite of some rough seas on the relationship front and admittedly stunted emotional growth i have so far had a pretty good life. I suppose i had hoped for smooth sailing for my daughter ... but who knows?

There is your fears coming up again, from your projections. "Her life might not be like mine, OH NO!" It could still be smooth sailing for her, and this could just be a bump in the road.

Originally Posted by perkelv

Perhaps i have made too much of this and it is just a different kind of challenge to what i've been successful in overcoming.

Young women have particular challenges, just keep that in mind. I had asked about any romantic interests of hers, and here is where I ask again about that.

Originally Posted by perkelv

It is just harder in the midst of it and this kind of analysis has helped me in a unique way that i find satisfying. It's satisfied my need for mentally correlating some of what's been going on and it is giving me emotional insight that i naturally lack.

Very true to a Gemini Moon. I am glad this has proved to be a satisfying endeavor and giving you some clarity and peace of mind.

Originally Posted by perkelv

(I would imagine a moon in scorpio person would never be on this site looking for such answers??!!)

Quite the contrary. It is refreshing to see a Gemini Moon doing such a thing I would expect much more of a Scorpio Moon (who would have probably have done it much more privately.)

Originally Posted by perkelv

So at the risk of being redundant, thanks ever so much for the amazing insight.

You're very welcome.