Originally Posted by restlesssag
PS: I realize no chart can automatically "doom" someone, everyone has positive and negative qualities to their chart and it takes awareness to develop some of these areas. I suppose I'm being melodramatic, plus I can admit I'm in a depressive mode right now so I'm probably overlooking all my good qualities. But still... I just feel the negative areas of my chart are overwhelming and heavily dampen any positive areas.
Yeah you are a bit bummed out which doesn't necessarily mean mental illness. Beware of adopting labels and diagnoses that classify you thus. The new DSM volume is doing away with lists of disorders that pigeonhole people this way and it just lists symptoms now. And you are quite right, you are not "doomed"; the natal chart shows the hand dealt, not how you will play it, and every chart contains a solution! Welcome to karmic, evolutionary astrology!
I can relate to some of your chart's challenges because I have Saturn in the 5th, Venus in Scorpio, and a Sagittarian nature (Moon and Asc) too.
Your North Node is in the Sagittarian house and in the most vigorous sign in the Zodiac. This is why you have so much fire and a Sagittarian Sun -you chose this configuration to support your soul's evolution toward philosophy, higher learning, travel, spirituality (Neptune in Sag.), general expansion. There's a lot that you need to learn and pursue actively.
Saturn is the Lord of Karma and shows where and how we are being tested. This is a really tough placement -the planet of resriction in the sign of expansion; the planet of fear and seriousness in the house of fun and games! Yet it too is here to support North Nodal purpose. If Saturn is allowed to express negatively, then optimism turns to pessimism, fears, and blockages. Positive Saturn brings order, structure and discipline to creative expansion (Sag, 5th house). Be aware of this and consciously choose to pursue a positive Saturnian strategy, for Saturn delays but does not deny so when you do what it wants, then whatever was blocked begins to flow -creativity, romance, children, pleasure, etc. What does Saturn want with romance? Commitment. What does Saturn want with creativity? Production.
And the 5th house is the Leonine house so your Moon and ASC support the creative urge -that's why they are where they are!
See Alan Oken's enlightening definitions on your Saturn placement as well as other planets:
Saturn's lessons here connect through tension (opposition) to a wound (Chiron) in friendships or social settings (11th house) -possibly ostracism for being overweight during youth in schools?
Venus in Scorpio involves love karma, a result of abusing the love principle in a past life. What Venus in Scorpio natives needs to learn the most is to distinguish between their intense feelings -especially passion and desire- and what love really is -caring for another human being, not having one's "needs" met! So the possibilty of personal transformation of the love nature is possible now and really emphasized powerfully by Venus conjunct Scorpio's modern ruler, Pluto.
Emotionally and subconsciously (Moon), you don't like all this very much indicated by its squaring of Venus. Additionally subconscious mind and conscious mind (Mercury) are square and require integration for your health and sanity!
This friction as well as childhood abuse damage can be healed and reconciled with counselling, and with clinical hypnotherapy.