"Aries: Anything, as long as it's got a lot of energy!
Taurus: A turtle: itıs slow-moving, doesnıt need a lot of attention, and wonıt compete with its owner for food.
Gemini: A talking parrot; need I say more? Well, of course I do, but--
Cancer: Anything, as long as it needs to be nurtured
Leo: A big, bold, ferocious feline, as long as it doesnıt compete with its ownerıs place in the sun. "
"Virgo: Letıs see, I have to get up at 7:30 to feed it, let it out at 7:45, at 10:00 I need to go to the grocery store to pick up three cans of food, which will cost $3.86, including tax--
Libra: Hm, good question. One the one hand, a dog is active, affectionate, and companionable. On the other hand, a cat is pretty independent and wonıt require as much time and attention. Oh, I donıt know. What would you do? Are you sure?
Scorpio: A cat. Secretive, mysterious, and unpredictable? Whatıs there not to like?
Sagittarius: A horse, of course! Letıs hope itıs got enough stamina to keep up with me. "
"Capricorn: Do I have to pay for it?
Aquarius: A hamster. First, Iıve got to set up a detailed cage with tubes going from here to here, and an energy sensor--they donıt make anything like that? Thatıs okay, Iım sure what I come up with will be much better.
Pisces: Fish. When their owner forgets about them for weeks on end, theyıre easy to replace. If Pisces remembers to replace them..."
[mdoerator edit - added quote from internet source, and split post into the three quote per post rule]
http://www.forrestastrology.com/Humor-by-Sign/