Bear with me! Tis a long one!
If I wouldn't have known any better I would have been gagged and bound with that safety yellow "under construction" warning tape from head to toe just to warn oncoming traffic of myself!
There is no ignoring these transits, they have full cosmic illuminations have definitely have their magnetic lock on my inner workings.
The last month I have dedicated time to my studies and shift these gears to fully direct my energy inward and clear some space for the approaching transits.
water bottle? braided sweat head band? CHEEEEECK
I am I am glad I did so... because it is FULL steam ahead.. and within the last week or has completely been saturated with evaluating my currency conversion rate of myself.
What is valued and of priority does feel like it has to instituted.
I have found myself exercising that creative voice to pursue my true love for esoteric studies and all within the somatic healing landscape and alchemizing a career from these long-time affinities.
To live in full congruency of my construct of creative wonder and the intrigue of pushing my own epistemological limits.
Although I am an anomalous, creative, creature I am far from conservative or orthodox.. in the grand scheme of what I have been doing work wise. It has been "safe" in relation to my true barometric range I could have oscillating on..
I always felt that I needed a "practical" job. to provide the framework of securities. So even though I had a very academic focus in high school (international baccheloriate program that left the option for art classes in your schedule.. ZLICH) I made a last minute maneuver for all that was my billowing creative hunger about to result in anti matter if an implosion was not avoided!
I switched schools & programs and was going to pour myself into creating and designing regardless! I wasn't committed to that path it wasn't quenching me on those levels that were truly satisfying for me. Even though it appeared such a contrasting divergence and perhaps executed without thought. It was still a safety net that I had laid beneath me.
I thought that if I pursued graphic design (I am indeed a libra sun, leo moon, libra rising) that it would saturate my dehydration for my creative input/out feature...but would still allow for financial security and freedoms that I so needed.
I wouldn't be a starving artist and it would cater to my luv for computer guts and all things technical (mars in virgo) however in tandem with my appetency to paint the world ...paired with pigment and elocution. (libra, libra, libra!) I had done my math and it would be a perfectly well balanced equation for me!
However with a pair of lesser than cognizant well equipped parents... college money was no longer there and the parent plus loans they pulled mid semester due to my parents canceling the loan..
I couldn't afford mentally or emotionally for the uncertainty to be constantly lurking beneath the surface while I was fully dedicating myself to full time school and work.
I continued with to my design work however had to put school on hold till further notice. Being fully approved at the age of 17 to finance the school via loans was highly unlikely.
Handfuls of years has now past since I put school on hold to remain flexible and work towards security and confidence that came with being self reliant with all them bases covered. (pluto conjunction IC)
I feel like this is the time to discard the past functionalities and begin anew with all that I truly causes incandescent me! limiting myself for the old model of security continues to poison the current with my this past decay.
I am tired of being behind this computer pouring my energy into the machines.
I may be a computer nerd! But truly do appreciate the organic! Certainly do not want to allow for this to me my dominant medium.
I need a healthy balance and right now I feel the equilibrium bruised and lop-sided.
So with Saturn transiting 12th house as of the beginning of Jan for me.. it has shown me that my format ... is merely that---OLD .. and sooon to be obsolete if not re-invented into a new creative chromatic venture. The old model of self expression and work .. no longer serves me as it once did.
I totally welcome the new communication frontiers and fully letting the elements that are self fullfilling IN... on that everyday level. Having it be incorporated and fully pursued as my life work (Uranus transiting opposition mercury) even if it is sucha large divergence from my official education that in the tech and graphic arena.
My energy that has been poured into my natural curiousness and personal edification has never slowed and led to me to the evolving my interests beyond hobbies or side studies.
I know that I can fully integrate and balance these personal vocations. At any other point.. I would have never considered of pursuing this at an incorporated level of study and career. There was a definite delineation of my interests and what my direction of work I would take.
I was all too concerned that it was a unorthodox for application to be placing anywhere outside of towards myself.
However I continue to be pleasantly shocked with the people that manifest into my path.. no matter what religious affiliation or strict stubborn background they operate on... that hey seem to warmly indulge in their curiosity of something outside of the corporeal and welcome the concept of a possible new paradigm when in exchange with me!
For them to have a spark of further inquiry of the cosmos or the occult is never was within an aim or expectation in order to manufactor.
People probably never would think they would be deep in dialogue about nutritional detox and tending to our viscera and lymphatic drainage via means of 28 parts water, 4 parts pure unfiltered cran! I am not one to argue that my order of reason will SERVE them better than what they have currently in place .. I know how I have arrived to this moment in time ... in what is intrinsctically my path and personal truth and if someone finds those of interest or parallel with themselves then wonderful. You sure wont be finding me battling it out with someone over nutritional methods or the metaphysical vs dogmatic principles.
So those connections I had made and continue to experience created this whole new understanding I have on the the natural propensity for the curiousness of wonder that is alive and in the most uncommon of places.. no matter how discouraging people can be at the worse of times.
So with this delta of transits circumventing and carrying me thru my transforming, amorphic, atemporal self...I am looking to welcome my new chapter of integration by pursuing the holistic body work field and somatic psychotherapy. With the somatic psychotherapy functioning as the vertebrae which I can build upon that with my additional accreditations of holistic healing practioner modulations.
As my chart indicates and the great sexual under current that is at the apple core of that natal chart. With the psychotherapy platform I could have specialization in sexual counseling and therapy and and continue to my research into the pyschological human sexuality.
Combining all of these cornerstones together for a full spectrum approach to the healing arts and interactive transformative work for my clients ... would be a dream come true!
No separation between what can otherwise be nebulous, I want to illuminate the synthesis of the trestles of body, mind, sexuality and spirit. The same ones that so many others want to dismantle and let the chasm widen.
The symmetry of integrating my aesthetics axioms into the healing merging and supportive forum with my clients will be a such a great pleasure for me on all axes!
(Mars sextile pluto? having a proper channel and will lead to needed possess that strength and empowerment for myself and synchronically able to be offer the convalescing extension of myself.
I truly do need to feel that I even have the capacity of bringing something original to the table and not following in the footsteps of an over saturated field (mars square Uranus?)
Now with all this laid out.. and if you aren't dead asleep from the foreword! I would absolutely enjoy a fresh pair of eyes and see what you extract from my transists and natal chart and let me know if you see the similiar themes that are surfacing during my transformation process.
Feel free to examine my cosmic double helix.
I want a 3rd party perspective! I have much to learn in reading, analysis and interpretation to imbibe.
I look forward to all the input and insights with someone having a fresh look at my natal chart!
Although I may have an idea of what direction I want to pour myself into I do have a lot of past family residual and programming. As you can read from the chat there was a hefty doozah done on my delicate psyche as a child.
This is one of the things I am making a pirority in healing and addressing during these transists.
All these things also propel me to want to continue to heal and transform myself to become a fully congruent cognitive soul and in turn look forward to restoring others mind/body wellness in spiritual parallel.
Sounds like some Chiron elements myself! (chiron Leo in my 10th house )
Thank you for your time