Hello everyone

, I am new to this forum, and kinda new in astrology. I've tried to read about it and understand by myself but I'm still confused about many things. So it would be great if anybody can help me with my confusions.
Me
Sun Cancer
Moon Gemini
Mercury Cancer
Venus Gemini
Mars Virgo
Ascendent Cancer
Him
Sun Taurus
Moon Leo
Mercury Taurus
Venus Aries
Mars Gemini
We've met almost 2 years ago. Tried several times to be together but we always failed. Both of us feel enormous connection, and have troubles to move on. For some unknown reason, I feel that my Gemini side is dominant when I'm dealing with him and never had a chance to show my nurturing and caring side, but somehow he knows I have it.
First time we split I really thought it was the end. But he keeps trying to be part of my life but at the end in his own terms. I can't do it because I don't understand him, and I don't trust him. And he keeps coming back complicating my current relationships. So I used one situation to pretend I'm heavily insulted and mad to keep him away from me. Even threatened to ask for help if he shows up again. And for now we are not communicating. I'm not sure that I did the right thing. I miss him, and don't want him at the same time. I've been in love many times, but this is completely different.
Thanks in advance for reading, any input would be appreciated