I'm a Pisces with Questions About Chart

sirenophilia · #1 04-20-2012, 03:53 AM

Hello.

Glad to have found this community.

I've been researching astrology and doing charts at an intermediate level for about 4-5 years. Being a triple pisces (Sun, Moon, and Mercury.. ALL IN THE 12th HOUSE too!), I'm naturally interested in the esoteric, especially when combined with the psychoanalytic and the spiritual. I'm introverted, but have developed bit of a projective face-card through my aries rising.. which helps give me some punch. I've been a successful massage therapist for 6 years, and "feel" my way into people with keen intuition. Or so I've always been told. I love looking on the inside of others. I often feel like I understand things at a far deeper and complex level then I'm able to explain

I think I have a pretty good handle on my chart. I've peered deep into it's spiderweb for years now. I can seen where many of the planets "talk to each other" in my life, and influence many things. But I still feel like I need an outside opinion on many things.. and welcome them!

Although I'm often told I seem steadfast and focused in many areas of my life, the one area that never seems to have any form of free-flowing energy is romantic relationships. It's blocked. Shut down. And underneath everything.. it feels like there's a rage shut inside regarding a relationship with, well, anybody.. that the moment I let it out, I will absolutely destroy somebody.

I'm 25. The last time I had an official boyfriend, I was 18. I've had a few guys come a long and want something with me here and there.. but timing is either ALWAYS off, or I shut them down, or I withdraw. I run. I swim away to darker waters where I can't be seen.

There was one guy that I held onto pretty intensely. I'd known him since I was 12. He and I were often around each other, because his sister was my best friend. Eventually, around 18.. we started to notice each other. Then I moved away. Then I moved back a few years later. That's when we had a really deep, and secretive relationship.. that was never really established or communicated about. But we both burned with an unspoken intensity for each other. He was a virgo, moon taurus, venus scorpio.

The whole thing ended up fizzling out when I went to San Francisco for art school. But I held on to it for a long time. I can't help but wonder if my intensity killed it. I can't reign in my hunger.. when I'm with somebody. I'm really scared of that beast within.

Nothing has really happened with anybody since then.

I've wondered if this is to blame on my Mars opposite Pluto.. which seems to be the ruler of my deepest burning "drive" in my life. Especially since I have Pluto in the 7th (Oh God.. the worst) opposing Mars in the 1st.. which is ALSO squaring venus in the 11th. It's like, I feel this internal fire, that.. if left to take over.. will burn ANYBODY in it's path. And what's fueled it all these years in the lack of any interest from any men for years.. and then, when it did finally come.. I shut it down.. which has only served to create more tension inside me. It's a never-ending cycle of blockage.

Please.. thoughts? Advice? What does my chart say to you? Especially regarding the area of relationships?

Here's a link to my chart:
http://www.astro.com/cgi/aclch.cgi?b...vr-u1326854658

If that doesn't work.. here's my birth info:

February 27th, 1987
Bellingham, WA 8:07 A.M.

IleneK · #2 04-20-2012, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sirenophilia

Hello.

Glad to have found this community.

I've been researching astrology and doing charts at an intermediate level for about 4-5 years. Being a triple pisces (Sun, Moon, and Mercury.. ALL IN THE 12th HOUSE too!), I'm naturally interested in the esoteric, especially when combined with the psychoanalytic and the spiritual. I'm introverted, but have developed bit of a projective face-card through my aries rising.. which helps give me some punch. I've been a successful massage therapist for 6 years, and "feel" my way into people with keen intuition. Or so I've always been told. I love looking on the inside of others. I often feel like I understand things at a far deeper and complex level then I'm able to explain

I think I have a pretty good handle on my chart. I've peered deep into it's spiderweb for years now. I can seen where many of the planets "talk to each other" in my life, and influence many things. But I still feel like I need an outside opinion on many things.. and welcome them!

Although I'm often told I seem steadfast and focused in many areas of my life, the one area that never seems to have any form of free-flowing energy is romantic relationships. It's blocked. Shut down. And underneath everything.. it feels like there's a rage shut inside regarding a relationship with, well, anybody.. that the moment I let it out, I will absolutely destroy somebody.

I'm 25. The last time I had an official boyfriend, I was 18. I've had a few guys come a long and want something with me here and there.. but timing is either ALWAYS off, or I shut them down, or I withdraw. I run. I swim away to darker waters where I can't be seen.

There was one guy that I held onto pretty intensely. I'd known him since I was 12. He and I were often around each other, because his sister was my best friend. Eventually, around 18.. we started to notice each other. Then I moved away. Then I moved back a few years later. That's when we had a really deep, and secretive relationship.. that was never really established or communicated about. But we both burned with an unspoken intensity for each other. He was a virgo, moon taurus, venus scorpio.

The whole thing ended up fizzling out when I went to San Francisco for art school. But I held on to it for a long time. I can't help but wonder if my intensity killed it. I can't reign in my hunger.. when I'm with somebody. I'm really scared of that beast within.

Nothing has really happened with anybody since then.

I've wondered if this is to blame on my Mars opposite Pluto.. which seems to be the ruler of my deepest burning "drive" in my life. Especially since I have Pluto in the 7th (Oh God.. the worst) opposing Mars in the 1st.. which is ALSO squaring venus in the 11th. It's like, I feel this internal fire, that.. if left to take over.. will burn ANYBODY in it's path. And what's fueled it all these years in the lack of any interest from any men for years.. and then, when it did finally come.. I shut it down.. which has only served to create more tension inside me. It's a never-ending cycle of blockage.

Please.. thoughts? Advice? What does my chart say to you? Especially regarding the area of relationships?

Here's a link to my chart:
http://www.astro.com/cgi/aclch.cgi?b...vr-u1326854658

If that doesn't work.. here's my birth info:

February 27th, 1987
Bellingham, WA 8:07 A.M.

Hi, Sirenophilia.

A few points here. The first of which is: I see no beast within in your chart :-). There are some difficulties like the ruler of your Ascendant is in opposition to Mars, as you note. Mars is also in a square-like aspect [135 degrees almost exactly] to natal Saturn, which may explain the blockages. But Mars is also softened by its trine to Neptune, taking you away entirely from an off-putting or shutting down inclination to your predominant Pisces/12th house orientation.

However, I do see a couple of reasons why your fate might be to create obstacles to relationship though. Venus in Capricorn is the ruler of your 7th, and, also, Venus is ruled by Saturn. Saturn demands well-examined and very serious relationships that may come later, only after they have been truly tested by time. But more importantly, your North Node in Aries conjuncts the Ascendant. The South Node is what we bring into this life, either from genetic inheritance or past lives, depending upon what you believe. In this case, your SN is in Libra. So you know Libra well, which may account for your longing for it and which also makes it an unconscious fallback position.

The NN is its opposite; it is what we are to learn in this life, our life's calling with which we must balance our SN. For you the NN is not only in Aries but also in the 1st house. So in this life you are called to learn about asserting and establishing your individuality, cultivating your self versus focusing on the other. It may be helpful to look at how you can cultivate your Aries attributes of drive, assertion, instinct for development of your self. When that is accomplished, Libra can return into your life with greater balance.

Kind regards,

sirenophilia · #3 04-21-2012, 04:31 AM

Thank you so much! Wonderful insight on my NN.. I had never really looked too deeply into that part of my chart. And honestly.. it makes sense.

I've probably over-thought the relational part of my life.. especially with the extra weight of seriousness that Saturn places there.

I greatly appreciate you taking the time. Thanks again.