recurring depression:(

[MelissaC]

Hi guys,
almost every two years I have a strong recurring depression.
Could you pleease take a look at my chart? What can I do about it?
What are my strong aspects to fight aganist this?

Thank you so much

here is the link to my natal:
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images...atalceren.gif/
http://imageshack.us/f/854/natalceren.gif/

[Caro]

the saturn transit(libra) through your 4th house could be one reason. this is due to last another year. (you have a saturn sq sun natally and saturn sq mercury)

you also have saturn conj north node natally - this is very karmic some tough lessons to learn in this life.

Also moon in twelth house - may make you prone to low moods.

with moon in 12th - this can indicate issues with your mother ie was she remote or unwell? pluto in 4th - how was homelife generally when you were a child ?

check out this site for interpretations of planets thro houses.

http://horoscopeswithin.com/.php

[MelissaC]

Hi Caro,
thank you for your answer. Youu are absolutely right about all you wrote. As like many people, pluto in my 4th, I had a terribly difficult childhood. Divorced parents, alcoholic father, abuse, alcolohic step mother, step brothers kicking me out of the house, a mother in deep depression, her boyfriends coming over the house everynight. I was all alone, I had to take care of myself. And I did a pretty good job.

I was a very strong child and had a great, happy adulthood. I know how to forgive and move on. I dont get stuck in the past a lot. My shrink told me he was suprised how well I came out from all of this and turned everything to positive. I managed to make peace with my parents. My mother re-married, I have the best stepfather and a wonderful brother now. We cured our wounds slowly but surely. I was always the strong kid and very devoted to a family life. Now I have the best relationship with my mom. She is my best and dearest friend. We have great love and impact in our lives.

Strangely enough, I wasnt depressed untill I was 24. I was in very difficult circumstances, I smoke joint everyday not knowing it was bad for me (I wasnt an addict, I just thought having a joint everynight was fun. A fool young girl. Some people are too fragile for it, clearly I was too. One night a bad trip turned out to be a panic attack that never ended. The panic attack lasted like weeks. I was never ok. Than it turned into a major depression. (I was unhapply married, too young, I livin abroad, no friends only my husband and we had no money and my family bankrupted so I could not tell how miserable I was, I could not find a job for two years and plus joint.. well that did the trick that my childhood didnt)

I changed everything completely. Took my power away. After depression I became a weak and fearfull person.

I became ok eventually, but it came back after two years (2008). it lasted like 3 months. Now, it kicks again. And I am helpless about it.

So thats the story more or less.

So you say I have this saturn transit.. That must be it. A year you say? Gosh.. I have to get myself together and be strong than. What do you suggest? And when did this transit start (I wanna knw if it is the same period I started to feel depressed again) Could you explain a little more albout the saturn transit, saturn sq sun natally and saturn sq mercury if you have the time?

Thank you very much. I am feeling so helpless at the moment. you just threw me a rope. Thank you

[Caro]

Hi Melissa,

thanks for being so honest I think that helps.

hopefully someone else will chip in. I cant give you definitive answers. Im not that experienced.

but I wonder if the transit of saturn over pluto may be a turning point for you. which could be why you are here posting?

are you seeking medical advice - it sounds like the 'dope' triggered your sensitive nature and opened your energy up too quickly.(moon in 12th) you are right someone can take this and others(I would put myself here it destroys them and quickly) - have you thought of counsellingmaybe some stuff needs to come out - be spoken about to release it - then you can start to use these energies in a more positive way.

check out the links I sent you and see what you come up with - its much better when you start to discover this yourself. there are also a number of useful threads on the forum on using crystals and colours to help you.

astrodienst is another good website to start and cafe astrology as a starter pack!!

saturn in libra started nov 2009 approx. as soon as it rolled out of virgo life looked up for me!! - your chart at age 24 would be interesting for you to study. (this change maybe to do with progressed planets)

maybe seek out a reputable healer - with your moon in 12th and pluto in 4th you probably have abilities to work/use this type of therapy.

i hope it improves - look after yourself.

[MelissaC]

Hello again,
of course I seek immediate help. My doctor knows my strengths and weaknesess very well. I've been playing tennis like mad to kick in some serotonin and endorphine. We gave it a month. If that doest work, we'll see what will. Tennis helps, but it's not enough. I have an appointment with the doc this saturday.

The strange thing is the extremes. I've never been so willing to enjoy life. I have so many plans.... but this depression. Even getting out of bed is very difficult. It's difficult for me to explain. It's like.. I want to go to a party more than ever, but depression is so strong I prefer to stay home. Usually depressed people dont wanna go to parties.

It's like I wanna grow. But something's keeping me back. It's like a gatewayhas opened. Both sides are calling.
(I know I sound a little crazy. But that is really a strange polarity., well what can u expect a sun gem, asc cancer, moon cancer.. Ah.. it's a difficult life.. And now, it is more difficult than ever. Because depression is a very serious illness and I know too well what is coming and what it will do to me as it gets worse)

I've been a member to astrodienst over 10 years now. But this is the fist time that I try to undertsand an figure out astrology myself. It's pretty difficult. If I can manage, I have my astrlogy lessons starting in September. With a lot of hard work, I hope I can help people too.

Thank you again.
Love
melissa

[Caro]

I wonder if it was your jupiter in leo that triggered this behaviour at 24.
24 is when you experience the jupiter return to the time of your birth.
so this would have been 2003? you might wish to run a chart.
you also have jupiter sq mars which means you can take on too much.

with moon in cancer in 12th - maybe you need to explore meditation and calm it down a bit.

jupiter is in taurus currently and will sq your jupiter soon but again this is not a long transit.

hopefully you will get some other replies.

[astrologer50]

Originally Posted by Caro

the saturn transit(libra) through your 4th house could be one reason. this is due to last another year. (you have a saturn sq sun natally and saturn sq mercury)

you also have saturn conj north node natally - this is very karmic some tough lessons to learn in this life.

Also moon in twelth house - may make you prone to low moods.

with moon in 12th - this can indicate issues with your mother ie was she remote or unwell? pluto in 4th - how was homelife generally when you were a child ?

check out this site for interpretations of planets thro houses.

http://horoscopeswithin.com/.php

nice one caro.
I tend to agree moon in 12th is practically unaspected with only sextile to saturn, therefore the emtions don't like in well with the chart. I notice T Saturn has just come off a square to Moon and this alone can cause depression, financial shortages and emotional withdrawal.


T Saturn is fast approaching a conjunction to Pluto

The main theme tends to be facing responsibility in the face of corruption. This is a time when you have to concentrate your interests more deeply and narrowly, most often because you are going through a financial burden or some other kind of shortage. This is also a time to get rid of any rules and regulations that do not adequately meet the demands that you are experiencing. You may have to live with austere circumstances for a while. The authorities may not be dependable, or may be corrupt.

http://www.astrology-x-files.com/tra...-cj-pluto.html

[Caro]

maybe you could write, join a group (11th house sun and mercury) and try and express some of this hidden emotion that is blocked up in your 12th house.

it is just a suggestion.