Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
Hello
I would love any feedback about why most of my partners have been substance abusers and or people with borderline personality disorder (psych. problem involving impulsive traits, intense moods, rejections and fear of rejection, etc).
My current partner has both. Astrologer 50 has written that
When looking at a woman’s chart the type of man she would look for is her sun sign and mars traits, plus 7th house planets and house cusp ruler and where that ruler was deposited.
That's helpful. My partner is Pisces-Scorpio-Virgo.
My Sun is trine Neptune, Mars is oppose Neptune, and ruler of my 7th is in my 12th house====those would match his Pisces Sun, and also hint at people with substance abuse or psych. problems. Mars is also oppose the Moon, perhaps indicating emotional problems? The ruler of the 7th is also a few degrees away from directly opposing the 7th house Aquarius.
I attached my chart. Any other indicators about why I would attract water signs. or attract sub. abusers or psych. problems would be helpful.
Thank you
Melisa
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
it could be .... not sure though.
1. sun and venus in cancer > meaning you like to take care of people
2. pluto in virgo > you like to be of sevice to others, fix people, etc
3. not sure but chiron is in your 7th house...mmm...maybe you feel like you're not worthy of love and sell your self short. it could also be the fact that chrion is the wounded healer....so although you feel lke you may not be able to get love, you are able to give it to those that are suffering by being in a relationhip wiht them.
4. neptune and moon in scorpio could maybe make you more drawn to darker individuals, like they're more interesting to you, you get them, can relate to them, etc.
5. mercury in 12th > again maybe just making it easier to click with individuals that suffer.....
6. pluto in 1st > could be responsible for the abusive relationshoips...cuz you need that extra passion, emotions, etc...i guess that could come our violently sometimes as in your case...
7. mars in steady taurus could make you put up with it all..
wow...i think pretty much everything in your chart points to you being sucked into destructive realtionships...
i could be wrong, but to me it looks like there are more things pointing to you being the one that seeks them out, as a pose to them seeking you out.
your chart, to me, looks like you filter the good ones out and go iwth the bad ones.
sitting down and clarifing to yourself what you really want, would be a good place to start imo.
anyway, i'm pretty new to astrology, wait a little longer, i'm sure there'll be more qualified people that respond soon.
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
this is just too common. I´m that too, attracted to a substance abuser and borderline personality. My ex was not a substance abuser but a psychopath. Really. So why is that.
The easy way out for therapist is to ask "does anyone in your family drink". Nope, not in my case. And neither do I. But I´ve had a troubled youth and bla bla so I´m kinda borderline myself (by the way new psychiatry do not use the term "borderline" anymore). I´m about to get my diagnosis soon.
Like is attracted to like, is the general rule of attraction. In my case I´m "sort of borderline personality" - therefore attracting unstable or crazy ppl. Another effect of my hard childhood is I know there is relief in substance abuse. I definitely understand ppl who do that. All of us do not, and some won´t even really understand that their partner/parent or someone else is really an alcoholic. I see that instantly.
I have sun opp neptune in natal chart, moon in pisces, scorpio rising.
Pluto in virgo, never mind that, millions of ppl have it! But pluto in first, yes I agree with wowreally, this could also be in the chart of an abuser for the same reasons, again like attracts like.
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
Traditionally speaking, Saturn rules Aquarius, and that's your seventh house cusp. What makes this bad, even though Saturn is dignified, is that it's opposing your Sun (ascendant ruler) and Venus conjunction in Cancer - Sun-Saturn oppositions are nasty enough, usually involve people being fearful with good cause because they've been rejected many times - especially when they involve a sign where Saturn isn't particularly happy, like Cancer.
Venus doesn't have a lot of power on its own because it's combust - it's pretty much in service of the Sun. But what the opposition between the 1-7 rulers means is that you're probably attracting enemies instead of lovers, and men you can't get close to - that's the substance abuse problem.
All is not lost, however. Jupiter is out of sect and retrograde, but it's in rulership, which strengthens it considerably, and on the cusp of your fifth house of romance - it also doesn't appear to have any major afflictions besides the retrogradation. And it trines your ascendant. I think if you take the emphasis off of marriage, and look for men you can have actual fun with - and travel, and philosophical conversations, and all those good Jupiterian things - you may have considerably better luck.
The other thing I'd advise is to SLOW DOWN in relationships. You've got Moon on the 4th cusp fallen in Scorpio ruled by a detrimented Mars in Taurus that opposes it. This could indicate really bad role models when you were growing up as far as relationships are concerned, and one of the problems of having the Moon in a Mars-ruled sign is it's often too driven to slow down long enough to take proper care of you - or anyone you care about.
In your case, it can't be a race, or a competition. You may feel like it is, but that's going to hurt you terribly over the long-term. Try to relax, do some things YOU enjoy doing (that's fifth house, too) and put Jupiter to good use - it may not lead to marriage, not in a chart like yours, but - it could lead to a good relationship, and those are rare commodities.
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
I was once into drugs heavily and attracted other substance users a lot. Though I am clean and a holistic health practiitioner, I still do attract a drinker or smoker occasionally. My magnet is Neptune in Scorpio in the 11th. Your Neptune in Scorpio in the 3rd is trining your Sun in the 11th perhaps giving a similar effect. The other significant magnet is likely your Chiron in Pisces in the 7th also trining Neptune.
It was already stated in this thread that "like attracts like", and that may be true or rather 'the complement attracts the complement' such as an abusee will find an abuser because their karmic monads match and lock. But your subconscious point of attraction for these types of men is what needs to be identified and healed if you want different results.
__________________
"The water in the vessel is sparkling; the water in the sea is dark. The small truth has words which are clear; the great truth has great silence."
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skillcoil
I would also focus on Venus conjunct Sun in Cancer, 11th house opposite Saturn in Capricorn, 5th house. Also Chiron in the 7th house. I think there is creative, eccentric energy that you might not be expressing within yourself, which is why you are attracting people with these issues. A nice hobby might be acting.
Yes I agree, saturn opposite these two suggests feelings of being unloved in childhood and having a cautious reserved affectional nature and having to endure financial hardships to.
Plus, was waybread stated, Moon conj Neptune is emotional disillusionment and wearing rose tinted glasses, also connected to mother and occastionally eating disorders....
Elementory you have a lack of air in your chart, but planets in air houses to compensate. Usually lack of air makes sweeping statements without a enough thought of the outcome, but with merc retro in 12th I don't feel that would be your case really....
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
i have pisces in 7th house of relationships and its ruler neptune in 5th house of romance, and my whole life has been loaded with liars and deceptive lovers...
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mizz
i have pisces in 7th house of relationships and its ruler neptune in 5th house of romance, and my whole life has been loaded with liars and deceptive lovers...
:s
NEPTUNE DEFINITION ‑ KEYWORDS;
Artistic, emotional, sensitive, mediumistic, wandering, sentimental, subtle, deceptive, subversive, imaginative, rhythmic, spirituality, unstable, sacrifice, head in the clouds.
Rules Drugs of all types , alcohol, tobacco, heroin, ether & anaesthetic, Gas lighting. Anything elusive, water has to be put in pipes.
* * * * * *
Wherever your Neptune is, "is where you carry your cross and where you will be called upon to make a sacrifice!"
True sacrifices are never usually recognised, or else they could turn into martyrdom!
Ascendant ‑ sun and mc in pisces ‑ or neptune in the 1st house
rules pituitary gland, feet, and sleeping rhythms. bad aspects may cause sleep disorders, such as insomnia.
All pisceans need an escape route!
(think about it, ruled by the twelfth house, the house of isolation, secrets, the unconscious)
Pisces generally always seem to answer a question with a question!
There is a higher and lower vibrational energy when talking of outer planets and obviously I have taken the middle ground. There will ultimately be more variations, interpretations that I have written and any senior member with additional information is invited to comment and refine and tweak this information. I would prefer it to be ‘collective’ rather than my personal subjective views, taken from years of studying, experience and attending seminars
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
Your 5th house of lovers is ruled by Jupiter and it is deposited there.
I think you are generous and benevolent and will have many or have had many in your life. With your CHiron in Pisces in the 7th, attracting those who are addicted and also have insanity or mental problems and who you can help with in the healing process.
This can be draining with the dependency issues and you need to get away from the rescuer/victim dynamic to have a healthier dynamic....
However others have to help you with your attraction to these types and to find others that embody the Piscean energy in a more constructive way, such as charitable, caring and spiritual persons who can give you as much as you give and so a more equitable relationship can be had.
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
Venus and Sun in Cancer opposing Saturn in Capricorn 5th, is about all I can see for what you describe. Somehow you may play the parent and be quite strict or disciplinarian towards them or they see you that way even though you feel you are being nurturing. You do have the caretaking role planets and I think you may belong to a group that does that kind of thing as well. Moon conjunct Neptune is in the 3rd and some of your friends are probably those who you perceive as needing rescue or who are addicted, especially females. A sibling perhaps has substance problems or your neighbour?? You are compassionate and sympathetic but need to be discriminating in who you have in your life. You dont always have to rescue or make better those that you are involved with in order to feel validated or useful. This is quite an unequal dynamic that ultimately is not satisfying for you and sometimes those you take on may even turn on you....
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
Quote:
Originally Posted by melisa
Hello
I would love any feedback about why most of my partners have been substance abusers and or people with borderline personality disorder (psych. problem involving impulsive traits, intense moods, rejections and fear of rejection, etc).
My current partner has both. Astrologer 50 has written that
When looking at a woman’s chart the type of man she would look for is her sun sign and mars traits, plus 7th house planets and house cusp ruler and where that ruler was deposited.
That's helpful. My partner is Pisces-Scorpio-Virgo.
My Sun is trine Neptune, Mars is oppose Neptune, and ruler of my 7th is in my 12th house====those would match his Pisces Sun, and also hint at people with substance abuse or psych. problems. Mars is also oppose the Moon, perhaps indicating emotional problems? The ruler of the 7th is also a few degrees away from directly opposing the 7th house Aquarius.
I attached my chart. Any other indicators about why I would attract water signs. or attract sub. abusers or psych. problems would be helpful.
Thank you
Melisa
You are Sun/Cancer/12th (Asc ruler), and the type of partners you attract are described by Saturn/Capricorn/6th (or 12th from 7th by derived houses). Both planets are tightly opposed. Your relationships are therefore problematic. This causes you to be restricted or confined (12th house).
Re: Why am I attracted to substance abusers and borderline personality disorder?
Hi
Mr Stellium wrote
You are Sun/Cancer/12th (Asc ruler), and the type of partners you attract are described by Saturn/Capricorn/6th (or 12th from 7th by derived houses). Both planets are tightly opposed. Your relationships are therefore problematic. This causes you to be restricted or confined (12th house).
-----Thank you----My Sun is in the 11th and Saturn opposes it in the 5th house. I'm wondering why the type of partners I attract are described by Saturn (cause Sat is in the 5th or maybe since it is the traditional ruler of my 7th Aquarius. I am unsure what 12th from 7th by derived houses means. Yes I have problematic relationships!!!
Astrologer50 wrote
saturn opposite these two suggests feelings of being unloved in childhood and having a cautious reserved affectional nature and having to endure financial hardships to.Plus, as waybread stated, Moon conj Neptune is emotional disillusionment and wearing rose tinted glasses, also connected to mother and occastionally eating disorders....
----Yes I had a negative connection to my late mother, and an eating disorder. Also obsessive compulsive, perhaps related to the Mercury in the 12th as you noted (plus it squares Neptune). Yes I felt unloved in childhood and my cautious nature may also draw me to sub. abusers and psych. problem-people.....I try to balance out their impulsive craziness.
Claire19 wrote
Moon conjunct Neptune is in the 3rd and some of your friends are probably those who you perceive as needing rescue or who are addicted, especially females. A sibling perhaps has substance problems or your neighbour??
-----Yes my partner and some of my friends are addicted. I feel attached to them by trying to "help" them. Yes 2 siblings are also alcoholics...neighbors possibly!!!
I hope I can harness the energy of the Chiron in the 7th and the Moon conjunct Neptune to focus on healing rather than focusing on wounding and getting wounded. Also with the Sat oppose Sun, maybe focus on using the positive side of that-----loyalty and hopefully stability.
Hybrid Mode
