Which moon is holding the grudge?

[Victoria Rose]

I have been having a long time feud with my ex. We keep trying to get back together but always fall short because our anger from the past keeps resurfacing. We would have a shot at being together if we could just get past the resentment!

I used to think he was the more angry party and the party mainly responsible for holding us back. I blamed him for keeping the grudge alive. However, now I realize maybe it is me that won't let go (more so than him). He has his Sun in Taurus. Mine is in Aries. However, it's the Moon that is connected to our emotions. His Moon is in Virgo and mine is in Taurus.

Could it be that even though I like to portray that I have let go off the past hurt and have progressed further than him, that its really me who is the one that is keeping the issues from the past alive? After all, my moon in in Taurus. Since Taurus is a fixed sign, it is slow to move. Since it's ruled by Venus, I presume it's rather emotional and sensitive ( I dont know if Venus is or not, I'm just guessing)?

His moon is in Virgo ruled by Mercury (a mutable planet that loves jumping from one side to the other). So, he is perhaps basing his emotions on mine and probably taking his cues from me? Especially since Virgo is suppossed to be group oriented and suppossedly and likes consensus. This makes me thing that if I move on, maybe he will, too, and that he is still hurt because I am still hurt. Or do you think our Mars placements play into this as well- especially since we are dealing with anger.

If Mars should be factored in, then I think it is noteworthy that my Mars is in Scorpio (fixed) and his is in Aries (cardinal). Again, me with the fixed sign. I'm also wondering if I should take orbital cycles into account here? In both cases, his planets have a shorter orbital cycle than mine. I'm not sure how accurate any of the stuff I said is, but I am almost beginning to suspect I'm the one that's holding onto the grudge (more so than him).

[kanshu]

Originally Posted by Jessikiss

I have been having a long time feud with my ex. We keep trying to get back together but always fall short because our anger from the past keeps resurfacing. We would have a shot at being together if we could just get past the resentment!

I used to think he was the more angry party and the party mainly responsible for holding us back. I blamed him for keeping the grudge alive. However, now I realize maybe it is me that won't let go (more so than him). He has his Sun in Taurus. Mine is in Aries. However, it's the Moon that is connected to our emotions. His Moon is in Virgo and mine is in Taurus.

Could it be that even though I like to portray that I have let go off the past hurt and have progressed further than him, that its really me who is the one that is keeping the issues from the past alive? After all, my moon in in Taurus. Since Taurus is a fixed sign, it is slow to move. Since it's ruled by Venus, I presume it's rather emotional and sensitive ( I dont know if Venus is or not, I'm just guessing)?

His moon is in Virgo ruled by Mercury (a mutable planet that loves jumping from one side to the other). So, he is perhaps basing his emotions on mine and probably taking his cues from me? Especially since Virgo is suppossed to be group oriented and suppossedly and likes consensus. This makes me thing that if I move on, maybe he will, too, and that he is still hurt because I am still hurt. Or do you think our Mars placements play into this as well? My Mars is in Scorpio and his is in Aries.

Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn) are very practical people. Unfortunately, they tend to be short on emotions. The moon in those signs will probably make the person behave like an earth sign native.

The Virgo moon can carry a grudge well if there are no mitigating aspects. I suspect the Taurus moon as well. Incidentally, the Capricorn moon is the most feared of all. The perfect criminal will have one. (That's according to my readings.)

In order to overcome your grudge, I think it's best to appeal to the earth sign's practicality. If you are presented with an offer you can't refuse, the grudge can dissipate easily. Putting it another way, trade something of value (i.e., it has to be something tangible) for what you want in the relationship.

One other technique I can think of is to assume a water sign (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces) behavior. Water signs are known to be emotional and they talk slow. Packaging your earth-sign-friendly offer in a slow and unstructured water-sign-certified (I can't think of a word) tone/delivery method could do the trick.

[Victoria Rose]

Originally Posted by kanshu

In order to overcome your grudge, I think it's best to appeal to the earth sign's practicality. If you are presented with an offer you can't refuse, the grudge can dissipate easily. Putting it another way, trade something of value (i.e., it has to be something tangible) for what you want in the relationship.

One other technique I can think of is to assume a water sign (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces) behavior. Water signs are known to be emotional and they talk slow. Packaging your earth-sign-friendly offer in a slow and unstructured water-sign-certified (I can't think of a word) tone/delivery method could do the trick.

wise words, Kanshu So, I guess you are saying that it is me that is holding the bigger grudge? Especially since you said, "The Virgo moon can carry a grudge well if there are no mitigating aspects." It seems like he could at least get over it if there is improvement but I just get the feeling that my moon is just stuck on being mad.

[kaminari]

Moons are important, but it's Saturn that keeps people together, for better or worse.

Edit: Look to Saturn to figure out what lessons are to be learned in this feud. Saturn is keeping you together for a reason, & that reason is you.

[Victoria Rose]

Originally Posted by kaminari

Moons are important, but it's Saturn that keeps people together, for better or worse.

Edit: Look to Saturn to figure out what lessons are to be learned in this feud. Saturn is keeping you together for a reason, & that reason is you.

Thank you, Milo I will do that now

[kaminari]

Originally Posted by Jessikiss

Thank you, Milo I will do that now

If you have hard Saturn aspects, listen to this song:

"With or without you," by U2.

If soft aspects, work it out, cause you, my dear, have found a friend for life. If no aspects, get over it. You will feel much better. Trust me.

[kanshu]

Originally Posted by kaminari

Edit: Look to Saturn to figure out what lessons are to be learned in this feud. Saturn is keeping you together for a reason, & that reason is you.

Yes. The house where Saturn resides is where learning is needed. But the only problem I see with this solution is that Saturn is ruler of Capricorn and you still end up with an earth sign perspective.

The better strategy is for the person with the Virgo moon to come up with an innovative solution (i.e., water sign approach). (Of course, it would help greatly if you have a mutable Sun sign.) Of the three moons (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn), only Virgo is mutable and likely to be flexible even if you feel you don't like to give in. And also, of the three moons, the Virgo moon is likely to be more imaginative because of the influence of its ruler Mercury.

Incidentally, I have a Virgo moon myself. And this is the best I can think of to keep your relationship intact ... (after you decide that the person is worth the effort).

[kanshu]

Originally Posted by Jessikiss

wise words, Kanshu So, I guess you are saying that it is me that is holding the bigger grudge? Especially since you said, "The Virgo moon can carry a grudge well if there are no mitigating aspects." It seems like he could at least get over it if there is improvement but I just get the feeling that my moon is just stuck on being mad.

Nope. I didn't say the Virgo moon is the one holding the bigger grudge. I'm just saying that earth signs in general can carry a grudge well with Virgo as the first example. I just mentioned the Virgo moon first because I'm personally familiar with it having one myself.

Since Taurus is a fixed sign, a Taurus moon won't be easily persuaded with a direct approach. You need to be subtle and even sneaky (in the best sense of the word).

I just realize that since your Sun sign is Aries, my "water solution" will be totally foreign to you. With Mars ruling over you, you think too much like a soldier who can't accept any form of defeat. You are also driven to action so a period of inactivity will be torture. Hmm. If you are going to win this war, you need some kind of Trojan horse to get inside his psyche and maybe into yours as well.

Anyway, I'm getting carried away with all this astrology stuff. Maybe, you should just tell us your plan/strategy and we'll tell you if it will work on us guys.

[kaminari]

From my experience, Virgo moons have a difficult time breaking away from
their ex, especially if they didn't end it. Taurean moons have no problem. Once their mind is made up, they're gone to greener pastures.

[Lin]

Actually, I'd like to see both charts, as I have the feeling that there are many areas of incompatibility that can't be erased.
LIN

[Victoria Rose]

Originally Posted by kanshu

Nope. I didn't say the Virgo moon is the one holding the bigger grudge. I'm just saying that earth signs in general can carry a grudge well with Virgo as the first example. I just mentioned the Virgo moon first because I'm personally familiar with it having one myself.

Since Taurus is a fixed sign, a Taurus moon won't be easily persuaded with a direct approach. You need to be subtle and even sneaky (in the best sense of the word).

I just realize that since your Sun sign is Aries, my "water solution" will be totally foreign to you. With Mars ruling over you, you think too much like a soldier who can't accept any form of defeat. You are also driven to action so a period of inactivity will be torture. Hmm. If you are going to win this war, you need some kind of Trojan horse to get inside his psyche and maybe into yours as well.

Anyway, I'm getting carried away with all this astrology stuff. Maybe, you should just tell us your plan/strategy and we'll tell you if it will work on us guys.

I'm the Taurus moon. He is the Virgo moon. My plan is to try to forgive and if I can do that to reach out to him. Since, I was a small kid Ive always had a problem forgiving. IF i feel wronged, I'm pretty much always mad. Even when you would think I'd be over my anger. I have this habit of holding anger in and keeping it alive for years.

On many occasions, the other person will think its water under the bridge and try to befriend me but then I just coldly reject them for hurting me in the past. I didn't know why I do this. With my ex, we try to make up and I think I forgive him but then out of nowhere I just feel such intense anger that I lash out on him and decide I don't want anything to do with him. I think, its my Mars in Scorpio that makes me like this since I read this is a Scorpio characteristic.

[Claire19]

Yes having a Taurus Moon means you can be fixed and stubborn with your emotions but also quite stable and reliable. You tend to hold onto issues sometimes because not really wanting things to change no matter how negative they may be. Taurus Moon tends to like routine and security is very important especially of a financial kind. Venus is the yin or night ruler and it is her connection to money and material assets, the physical comforts of life and the acquisition of them.

There may be a connection to Pluto which tends to hold grudges and your Mars in Scorpio can be spiteful and vengeful depending on the aspects. Mars opposing Moon also adds to this. Upsets with the domestic sphere. Your Aries Sun adds to the mix. Really wanting control is at the core of these arguments etc.

[Victoria Rose]

Originally Posted by Claire19

Yes having a Taurus Moon means you can be fixed and stubborn with your emotions but also quite stable and reliable. You tend to hold onto issues sometimes because not really wanting things to change no matter how negative they may be.

this is very true. I hate change. I also have problems letting things go. I can pretend to be "ok" but secretly seething.

Originally Posted by Claire19

Taurus Moon tends to like routine and security is very important especially of a financial kind. Venus is the yin or night ruler and it is her connection to money and material assets, the physical comforts of life and the acquisition of them.

also spot on.

Originally Posted by Claire19

There may be a connection to Pluto which tends to hold grudges and your Mars in Scorpio can be spiteful and vengeful depending on the aspects. Mars opposing Moon also adds to this. Upsets with the domestic sphere. Your Aries Sun adds to the mix. Really wanting control is at the core of these arguments etc.

yes, this is me. I am very vengeful (if I feel I was really wronged). And you are also correct: our arguments were mostly about who was in control. We both wanted things to go our way. But I was willing to compromise... he wasn't., though.

[Veronica]

I personally think a Taurean moon is more likely to hold a grudge... and I've known some people who can be quite inflexible @ times specially if most of their planets are in fixed signs. I don't know about Virgo's I don't think they would be grudge/holding pseudo scorpios, but I guess if you've pissed them off fairly enough they would perfect strategy to get back @ you. Anyone under any sign is capable holding a grudge/ being spiteful or vengative if they've been pissed off or hurt enough.