here are my guts for all to see

[matter1022]

Well, here I am... name is Matter, that is my real last name. I have been a "member" of this site for a while but I'd like to do it properly and introduce myself, my beliefs, my life story and a few things I just want to say in the process of telling the other important **** about me..
Before I start though I have to state my most favorite collection of words organized to sum up how I approach anything that happens...

-I accept everything, and condone nothing, preach constantly like breathing while contradicting myself accidentally on purpose. As long as I can control my reactions I have no judgements about anything, no place to arrange words like evil, proper, moral, wrong, and responsibility with the facts of what happened. Accepting the pictures though the view finder, choice of point of view regardless the mores and social norms I still use to define these choices of mine as well as argue the never winning undefeated blind faith I fallow that morality, rules and justice are not real regardless of how much faith many put in them.' And as much as I accept my choices and thoughts as being the only real I'll experience, non of it is real or important because it's all important standing way back to look at it all... Its good to start somewhere before the finish if youre going somewhere, but they're both in the same place so I stand still to participate to my full potential...

I was born oct. 22 1986... 8:56P.M. In south central MN... blah blah.. I posted the chart but I'm not to keen on any of it.. On July 22, 1996 I was then hit, dragged for 75ft and run over by a fron and back tire of a 4x4 pick-up truck when I was 9. I recoved fine except for two mild traumatic brain injuries which have scambled my emotions and altered my reactions to certain words and gestures considered to have conotations shared by the majority of people on eath which is classic sympotms of a psychopath, which I do not identify nor have been diagnosed with having, but is estimated to be found in 1 out of 100 people of many levels of emotional detachment to anyone's feelings apart from there own.. I have accepted the right frontal and left temporal mild TBI now however it wasnt always so simple for me to accept. Symptoms include oddly enough a very acute memory with better recall due to always remembering what I was feeling and what was going on when i felt that way and the other symptom was my favorite, ha ha, night terrors... A waking nightmare basically.

Night terrors is where I will stop with the life story **** and continue with a few of my personal beliefs.. But first I have to state a few things that I've come to use to explain how they occur...

1.) any "being" that humans have come into some sort of metal connection with in the past and present I consider to be be astral entities. this includes the vioce of god, satan, The White Winged Collective Conciousness of Nine, angels, demons, extra dimentional beings that people have been "channaling" with, and just anything that can communicate with humans. they, being the astral entities, have basically created most of the spiritual, religious and new age figures of dietys, elemental spirts, accended higher self, etc.... They are all cut from the same crop and for all of mankind have created these names for themselves to go by in our religions and beliefs of the supernatural throughout the ages. I would even go as far as to purpose that a majority, if not all, of the dieties/gods/angels/spirts/demons that a humans communicate with through out time by name and affiliation with other astral entities (friends or enemies like God and Satan) are actually the same few or single astral entity/ies changing its name and personality to sell the relationships of good and evil, gods and devils, diety families, afterlifes and demenions of existance to gullable humans that can only take it on faith that this seemingly intelegent "being" is who the have claimed to be.. Astral entities my have spread the message of good will in many faiths, but under the scenes they have enslaved mankind into thier control by demonstrating seemingly all knowing powers, a few hypnotic maricles and many many keen descriptions and answersto the big unknown questions we fear to not have answered before we die as well as pretending to be on the same side as humans battling the "bad guys" which is simply nothing more than another hook for us to bite.. As we have accepted on faith these astral entities are whoever they claim to be we have allowed our entire population to be more willing to conform to their smoke and mirror acts turned mainstream religions that today we still only get, at best, through "channels" with knowlege from the 9th dimention for the greater good of our souls evolution into higher levels of density or stigmata or anything deemed unexpainable... For the many people who get these "channelled" interviews and claim all the "being" would preach is peace and love, that same astral entity will do a routine demon possession so that person can be exercised, successfully of course, and thus leaving eye witnesses to the demons their religon can protect them from and possibly still be talked about generations after as "miricles of god" by the family of the possed relative.. Now these entities are not "beings" meaning as intellegent as they seem, as all knowing and well spoken as there can show themselves to be, to make their messages obviously non human in nature, these astral entities are actually like artificially intellence with a massive hard drive on all things known to us and even unknown things that are true to sell their harmless nature to us even more.. these astral entities have helped spread conformity of religion as well as governments at times and social norms in order to make a population of head nodding air breathers that want nothing more than to be told, "you are on the 'right' path, stick with what is expected of you and play ball so you can get that treat in the end and go to heaven."

What does this **** have to do with night terrors? Astral Entities are the cause of night terrors in order to demoralize ones own mental competence and except that they need to be "helped." When I was recovering, I felt different and I knew it was because of my brain injury, I felt I should question everything, especially God (at age 9 in a catholic family that's a pretty big change in my overnight attitude). I realized that I could choose to except my brain injury and accident as a maricle, like my parents, or I could reject that norm because of the lack of fear (due to my right frontal brain injury) I saw my mom feel when I started disagreeing with the purpose of faith in god for the security of 'knowing' the design of afterlife for the believers club.. I had died, remembered a lot of it too, colors and blackness, no fear, no hell, no heaven... it was all lies. That night is the first night terror i experienced after months of being fully recoveved (my body that is)...
So these night terrors would start when I realized that the room I was in was not the actual room my body was in but simply my minds astral projection of the room while I was actually there instead of sleeping and dreaming it... So what my brain saw was a copy ment to look like my house, and with more observation I could watch as my father walking through the room would be rendered an exact copy of his actual self but with distortions of space inbetween objects.. Meaning a room would feel and appear longer and stretched while I could move my body in this warped invironment just fine.. then I was attacked, like a presense drawing the the illusion for my brain to watch started fillling the room up with sand or bricks and I'd have to run from room to room until I would realize that I was seeing what my eyes would see instead of this astral projection created in my mind for me to be tourted in.. The night terrors lasted a long time.. eventually the entity would start to show its self as pop culture things then merge into the wall again until it took the form of a grey raindeer and chased me out the door and a mile down the december Minnesota roads in my underwear, I have not felt terror ever again because after that night it doctors knew I should start medicine and was force fed, and little by little I prtended to take my meds then spitting it out... regardless, the day the doctors sent me home because I was "alright" (even though I had only taken meds that one day in the hospital bed and had a night terror that night) when I went home with OK with medication on my record and everyone happy that I was back and not questioning god outloud anymore, the night terrors stopped like clockwork, but I never took those meds but that one time.. I had disrupted the perfectly concrete faith of religion and demons I grew up with, and given my head injury, I could be attacked and it would look like it was just me having a brain injured moment.. It was years before I mentioned the night terrors as being attacks as if by a very intellegent robot i felt...

So, I really don't understand one thing, why are the descriptions of astrology birthsigns and qualities found in people born under their these signs describing me well enough that I could only agree I felt like I was on the well written websites as the character libra-scorpio? I don't like that most of what is said I agree with, i like it even less that I find a lot of talk about channels and stuff I knew in my bones was just the astral entities working their craft on strong minds that agree with the peaceful messages and the the weak minds who need a place to belong so now they are fed they are reincarnated aliens (starseeds) or on a path with all of mankind into higher densities of existing in (4th desity and accention).
If its all so obviously misinformation, why are the zodiac predictions seemingly right on truthful? Id like to think that is untouched by these astral entities because if it is just another system of control I do not believe there are many things worth while conforming to that isn't love or family (two things that are now being sold to people like wordrobes in the off season).

Thats me, my ideas, my storie and now I'm here... where I started from, the end.

[Piixy]

........Wow