Unplanned pregnancy - husband left me

waitingforJupiter

Active member
I am 18 weeks pregnant, we have 2 children already. My husband left us and it looks like we are going to separate, because I got pregnant with a third child and am not having an abortion.

I hope soon he will come around to the idea of coming back to us. Please could you look at our charts and let me know if there is any hope for our relationship?

If you have more time to look more closely at the charts and could also tell me if he is going to be more positive towards our new family member in the future that would due amazing as well of course.

I would really appreciate any support because my situation is pretty desperate. I have attached 3 charts: husband & wife & a progressed composite chart... all including transits and progressions.

I would really appreciate any input!
 
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Anachiel

Well-known member
Try the horary section. What you are asking here might be a bit much for a natal chart....

Horary Chart Data
You will need this data to interpret your [horary] chart: the date, the accurate time and time zone, and the location when you first thought of the question with the intention of consulting an astrologer (or posting the chart). You can not ask someone else to ask the question for you and take the time based on their asking: doing so makes the horary chart invalid. Please also upload the horary chart yourself to your posting (see the how to upload a chart thread) . This makes it more likely someone will answer your horary question.

read the rules here if you aren't familiar with horary:

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/faq.php?faq=horary#faq_horary_astrology_boards

and here if you need to post a chart but, you look like you know that part :)

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12126
 

R4VEN

Well-known member
waitingforJupiter, the `will he or won't he?' is for the horary section, as Anachiel has said. In this section you will only get a few snippets from people, generally with a view to you learning to read your own chart, as this is a learning/teaching forum, and we are all volunteers with varying level of expertise.

Firstly looking at your husband's chart, he has transiting Saturn doing a bit of a turn on him. I'll try to analyse it as briefly s possible:
* Saturn is inconjunct by transit his late Pisces Sun, so he may be feeling trapped at the core of his being. Pisces Sun - and especially at the last degree of Pisces - is very sensitive, and subject to feeling victimised. He is feeling this at present, but it will not be a permanent feeling.
* Saturn will eventually conjunct his natal Uranus in the 4th house - this occurs around Oct 2012 - and this will force him to either flee, or stay to face his responsibilities. The kind of astrology I do does not determine outcomes, but just provides background and reasons. Whatever choice he takes, his feeling about home and family is likely to be quite heavy between oct 2011 & Jan 2015. He will feel his family and home life as burdensome.
With Uranus in his natal 4th house your husband is (probably, even if he doesn't know this) possibly wiaitng in the wings until your children grow up, and then he can become No 1 in your life again. He really has a need to determine if he wishes to continue to be `Mum's Little Boy', or if he's prepared to put his childhood behind him in order to become a grown-up. This may sound harsh, but I think it's close to the truth.

Now, on your chart, you have had to be carrying the burden of responsibility since at least Nov 2009, and maybe even earlier. You have already experienced transiting Saturn's conjunction to your Uranus in Nov 2011, but it passes Uranus again May 2012 & August 2012, and it will be during these times that you determine for yourself how best to handle the situation you are in.

My suspicion is that he won't come back, or if he does, he will be quite `on the edge of the family' for around a year or two. As I mentioned earlier I am uncomfortable with trying to predict the future using astrology. We experience unexpected and unpleasant events in our lives in order to find out what we are capable of. Perhaps there is something each of you have a need to learn about yourselves during the time you are apart.
 

waitingforJupiter

Active member
R4ven - thanks for your reply, it is very appreciated!

yes, he is feeling extremely trapped by this third child. It seemed like this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

And he is also feeling very victimised. It is good to hear that this feeling might pass. I hope we can work through this.

The baby is due in September, so yes, October would be a make or break time. I hope that he will shoulder his responsibilities then. I will look up Saturn conjunct Uranus in 4th house. I am not surprised to hear that he will find family life burdensome for the next 2-3 years… I am only now realising that he is not the family man I thought he was. It is good to know though so I can support him through this - should our relationship make it.

He so is Mum's little boy and somehow I cannot imagine that he really wants to be "number 1"… this is something quite alien to me, but I think I need to give him much more credit for having those feelings. (At the moment what he says boils down to this: that I don't love him because I won't have an abortion. It is pretty heavy.) he has always been Mum's number one in his house and this whole story with the pregnancy really showed me that he is much less grown up than I though he was…

thanks again!
 

dr. farr

Well-known member
Notice in the progressed composite (looked at in whole sign house format) that Aries is on the house of marriage (7th whole sign house) and that its dispositor (lord of the house), Mars,is posited in Gemini: now, since March of 2011, the disruptive South Node has been transiting Gemini: so, its possible that the marriage has been affected (via Mars-lord of the marriage house- being in Gemini in the composite chart)

If this in fact has been an important influence (and I think it has been), then fortunately this influence will pass away as the SN leaves Gemini (and therefore will no longer affect marriage house dispositor, Mars) in September of this year.
 

d00dle

Well-known member
don't know if it's a coincidence but saturn transits is in or will eventually aspect to both of your natal venus. With a stressful aspect (on yours and his are opposition) to natal Venus (love, happiness), it tends to bring problems in intimate relationships and with money to the surface. He could also have difficulties in career, home and family. for you, it could also indicate problems and difficulties with possessions and personal character. again, im no expert.
 

waitingforJupiter

Active member
thanks dr.farr!

September coincides with the baby's birth, so, I am also hoping that some hopefully positive change will occur then.

It helps to have some hope to hold on to until then, thanks!
 

waitingforJupiter

Active member
don't know if it's a coincidence but saturn transits is in or will eventually aspect to both of your natal venus. With a stressful aspect (on yours and his are opposition) to natal Venus (love, happiness), it tends to bring problems in intimate relationships and with money to the surface. He could also have difficulties in career, home and family. for you, it could also indicate problems and difficulties with possessions and personal character.


thanks d00dle! Yes, my husband also has a lot of stress in his job and of course worries about money.

can you see when this aspect to our natal Venus' occur?
 

R4VEN

Well-known member
(At the moment what he says boils down to this: that I don't love him because I won't have an abortion. It is pretty heavy.) he has always been Mum's number one in his house and this whole story with the pregnancy really showed me that he is much less grown up than I though he was…

waitingforJupiter, thank you for that feedback - I always appreciate discovering whether I have gone down the right track - or not.

What I have emboldened above gives a lot of insight into where he is in his head right now, and as I read it it says: What about me?.........which supports what I said about how he's seeing this.

If you are open to advice from someone who has been almost everywhere & done almost anything several times over...............the words he speaks - i.e. I want you to have an abortion - if you truly love me you will - are not actually what he is saying. He is scared - very scared - and whilst that is not your responsibility, it is important that you are aware that he is actually feeling totally out of his depth (and possibly has for a while - perhaps for 2-3 years) and the prospect of yet another child to be responsible for just freaks him out so much he has become unable to function fully as your partner and support.

And in response to when he mentions abortion, perhaps your reply can be: I didn't make this baby alone - if you love me you'll help me bring it up. This baby is coming into our lives for a reason, and this is an opportunity for us, not the end of life as we know it.
 

waitingforJupiter

Active member
thanks R4ven. Your words are very wise.

I wasn't aware of how scared he is - and, yes, how out of his depth until very very recently and it is good that you are pointing this out in a few easy sentences. He is out of his depth and I think I hugely overestimated his strength, sadly.

He lost his job 3 years ago (and found a new one 18 months later), so this and his quickly growing family must freak him out. Total loss of control for him, I agree. I am so astonished that he cannot function anymore, but that is exactly what is happening. I know he needs help, and I know I need to support him through this.

I am very grateful what you wrote could be my response… I needed something along those lines, because my own thinking is so clouded.

thanks again.
 

gen6k

Well-known member
Hi. My parents passed through the same thing, but my father was attuned to it. It actually healed the relationship for a while hes a cancer, and my mom is an aries. At a certain point we were having a bit of financial problems, we ended up moving around quite a bit. But my father was a hard worker in general. At one point we were in someones basement for like 2 weeks, and another time I was in my moms friends basement after a seperation. Well basically we would be financially stable, then a break up, start again, etc.

With that Gemini composite, and Gemini sun/Gemini moon. What could help is some versatility. Like kind of sliding your way through, and getting out of your comfort zone which he might have a problem with.

Well what was mentioned earlier kind of is that there is an underlying synastric problem behind the situation that could linger on when the 3rd child gets a bit older. And that is what you want to tackle instead.
 

waitingforJupiter

Active member
thanks gen6k for sharing your story, and for your interpretation.

He definitely doesn't like to be out of his comfort zone… but on the other hand is quite Gemini-like and wants freedom, spontaneity and fun.

I am not sure what you mean when you mention an underlying synastric problem? How can i tackle that?


thanks again
 
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