Marriage crisis, please look

Hi,
I wrote first in the transit section, because I'm having Saturn transit over my Sun and IC and my marriage is very difficult at the moment, so I'm seeking help and advice, to bring some light into the complete darkness.
Please, would you say some words? Is there hope for us?
I can only offer you my endless gratitude!
 

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Munch

Well-known member
I am going to be very honest and say that I am working on beer #2 at the moment and since I am a light weight I don't want to try to look at this until my head is a little more clear.

That said, I would like very much to reach out and give you whatever insight that I can. If you are interested, could you please send me a private message to remind me? I'll be sure to get back to you tomorrow evening (PST).
 
I am going to be very honest and say that I am working on beer #2 at the moment and since I am a light weight I don't want to try to look at this until my head is a little more clear.

That said, I would like very much to reach out and give you whatever insight that I can. If you are interested, could you please send me a private message to remind me? I'll be sure to get back to you tomorrow evening (PST).

O.k., done.Thanks!
 
Could someone say few words about us, I'm quite desperate at the moment, thinking about the divorce, but I would like to hear some astrologers opinions first, to get more clearness in our marriage crisis. We still love each other, but there is more and more distance between us and we don't feel happy with each other like once. We are married for 19 years and we can't just throw away all those common years...
Thank you!
 

Munch

Well-known member
Hey there.

So let's look at each of you individually first.

The very first thing that I notice is that your husband is under the influence of transiting Pluto squaring his natal Saturn (in its fall in Aries). This right here shows that he is dealing with some intensely personal issues. Pluto and Saturn are both planets known for bringing pain, limitation and depression. Of course, this is not just for the sake of making a person miserable, it's usually so that they can get 'unstuck' because they are forced to fight their way out of a tough spot.

Pluto (in Capricorn) squaring Saturn here to me says that your husband is feeling at odds with everything around him. All of the structures that he has had in his life are at this time feeling like they are bringing him a great deal of confinement. Most certainly, he is examining everything extremely critically and Pluto will make sure that he sees things for what they are with no frills or rose colored lenses.

What's more, is Transiting Uranus is coming into an applying conjunction with Natal Saturn and an opposition to both of your natal Uranus'. This is enough of a combo to make anyone begin to feel more than a little batty as this is the quintessential mid life crisis aspect.

The best thing that you can do in regards to this transit is give yourselves LOTS of space and don't judge any changes that either of you are making in your lives if you want to stay together. They will be permanent changes so this is a good time to really reflect on what YOU want. There is a chance that you are growing in opposite directions, but you can minimize the impact of this by staying calm, centered and focused on your own development. I try to stress that aspects from the outer planets are not times to hang on tight, but rather to let go and see where the tempest drops you. You literally have to work with wherever the chips may lie.

Mars has been making a long trek through Virgo in both of your 2nd houses which mirrors the idea of fundamental change for both of you. We see that Pluto and Uranus are in Virgo for both of you as well. Mars has quite an explosive relationship with both of these planets, so having him march back and forth over them in the natal chart can make anything sticky, messy and ugly. In your 2nd house, we see that Mars is stirring up emotions and such by making you both very focused on yourselves and your possessions as well as your fundamental ideas of right and wrong. However, everything you have and know seems to be hanging on by a tenuous thread. The real purpose of any loss here is to get you to focus on the 2nd house matter that seems to get lost these days. VALUES. What do you value? Why? Is it still helping you? Are you trying to hang on to things that you should have maybe dropped a while ago?

Finally, you have transiting Saturn moving on and off of your sun repeatedly. This for your personally, can be a time of insecurity. Saturn is right on your sun and causing you to second guess even more things. Saturn in Libra calls into question issues of fairness and balance, especially in relationships. Are you being fair? Is he? What is fair?

So, just looking briefly at the natal charts alone. It's quite obvious that both of you are going through some very real changes.

Looking at the synastry, I don't see a lot of personal contacts that allow relationships to survive times like these. The biggest contacts you have to each others charts are from the outer planets showing that this has been a strongly karmic relationship and perhaps it is now time to let go as you have fulfilled whatever purpose that you shared.
 

Munch

Well-known member
Looking at your composite chart, I see that many of the same aspects to your natal charts are playing out in the relationship itself.

For instance, the 2nd house Pluto/Uranus combo is being transited by Mars here as well.

I notice the very pronounced Mars/Moon opposition which is also beginning to be affected by transiting Pluto. Pluto is in applying conjunction with the composite Mars. Once again, these two coming together can bring 'war.' Using Placidus as you have, this is in the 5th house so maybe you can release discharge this energy through taking up an active sport together. Racquet ball would be a great idea! Sex could also be extremely heightened here and (I use whole signs), this happening in the 6th house could bring a great measure of healing as the moon is also involved. At least here, we see a deeper connection, though a volatile one.

I sincerely hope that one of our more advanced astrologer friends can offer some insight and give some better advice that's spiced with the wisdom that life brings. I'm only 31 and in my first real relationship ever, so I can't speak to typical issues that arise in relationships like yours. I wish you all the best though.

Remember, you are both actually growing quite a bit right now. Give yourselves lots of space and be sure to honor those unspoken needs. After so long together, I am sure that you know when he wants to be alone and vice versa. I'm sure you also know when he needs a little love and the other way around. Loving detachment is a powerful tool for you as is letting go and just trusting that no matter what, you'll be okay.
 

Vista

Well-known member
I didn't read through the responses you have had. Could you please post both natal charts separately and include transits and progressions? I am not convinced composites are the way to go. Just my opinion. Also, the synastry chart you included does not have any degrees of the planets or angles. It's basically useless in my mind without this information.
 
I didn't read through the responses you have had. Could you please post both natal charts separately and include transits and progressions? I am not convinced composites are the way to go. Just my opinion. Also, the synastry chart you included does not have any degrees of the planets or angles. It's basically useless in my mind without this information.

Thank you!!! I hope this helps now.
 

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Vista

Well-known member
Thank you!!! I hope this helps now.

You have Saturn moving through your 4th house coming back to conjunct natal Sun. Later, it will conjunct Mercury then Neptune. Now, many people go through difficult transits and still stay married. Your 7th house ruler Uranus is very afflicted by Venus, Mars and Saturn. This does seem to suggest potential for divorce. Your husband has natal Saturn in his 7th and it's ruled by Neptune. Transiting Uranus is opposing Saturn in the 7th and squaring his Venus in the 4th house. Also, Transiting Pluto is challenging his Saturn as well. T Pluto will move on but (Saturn/Uranus) will continue challenging both your planets into the first half of next year. I believe it's going to be very difficult to get through these transits. Anything is possible if both people want it., so really, that's where things stand. Do you both have what it takes to work through your issues? If not, it's likely you will separate.
 
You have Saturn moving through your 4th house coming back to conjunct natal Sun. Later, it will conjunct Mercury then Neptune. Now, many people go through difficult transits and still stay married. Your 7th house ruler Uranus is very afflicted by Venus, Mars and Saturn. This does seem to suggest potential for divorce. Your husband has natal Saturn in his 7th and it's ruled by Neptune. Transiting Uranus is opposing Saturn in the 7th and squaring his Venus in the 4th house. Also, Transiting Pluto is challenging his Saturn as well. T Pluto will move on but (Saturn/Uranus) will continue challenging both your planets into the first half of next year. I believe it's going to be very difficult to get through these transits. Anything is possible if both people want it., so really, that's where things stand. Do you both have what it takes to work through your issues? If not, it's likely you will separate.

thank you so much! My husband and me are both aware of the difficulties but we are ready to work together in these hard times. We love each other, but we understand that our marriage won't be the same as till now. This doesn't have to mean absolutely something bad. You too said everything is possible is the both people want- Yes, we both want it. Knowing that it won't be easy could help us ( we both have faith in astrology). I have learned that with our behavior we can change karma or bad aspects of the planets. Do you see this also this way?
 

Vista

Well-known member
thank you so much! My husband and me are both aware of the difficulties but we are ready to work together in these hard times. We love each other, but we understand that our marriage won't be the same as till now. This doesn't have to mean absolutely something bad. You too said everything is possible is the both people want- Yes, we both want it. Knowing that it won't be easy could help us ( we both have faith in astrology). I have learned that with our behavior we can change karma or bad aspects of the planets. Do you see this also this way?

You are very welcome! We all have free will. There is no way to predict how the challenging transits will play out other than it will take some work for both of you. Astrologer Robert Hand once said to me in a reading "with challenging transits a positive outcome is still within, you just have to work much harder to achieve it." I always try and remind myself of this. Best of luck to you both!!
 
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