Aspects self harm/ hatred

Fulcrum

Well-known member
I don't self-harm, but I've gone through periods where I'd find myself in situations in which I would recklessly throw caution to the wind; I just didn't care what might happen to me as a consequence. I have struggled with self-loathing; it's turned out to be a life's work, and I've had setbacks from time to time.

My Luna is in Cancer, conjunct AC on the XII house side. Depending on the orb you use (it's a little wide for my current thinking, but some astrologers use wider orbs for the aspect),

Luna trines Mars (Pisces IX) within about 4°25', and
is within 46' of quadranovile to Saturn (Aqua, conj cusp of VIII).

I also have the Venus/Neptune opposition (Taurus XI/Scorpio V) within a little over 3° of exact.

Currently, I'm experiencing my Chiron return (Pisces IX) and will be in the midst of that until February. In my natal chart,

Venus and Chiron are in sextile (and again, depending on the orb you use, is within 3°35' of trine to Neptune).

I think the wedge created by Venus, Neptune, and Chiron might be a little more of a toxic cocktail than I had previously assumed...
 

labelledujour

Well-known member
I used to self-harm, in fact. I have Moon in Scorpio and it's squaring Mars and sextiling Saturn. It's conjunct Pluto, too. I used to do that while drunk (Mercury and Sun in Cancer opposing Neptune). Mars square Pluto seems to point at that, too. Even now that I've stopped that habit years now, I still have intense thoughts of self-harm and I definitely hate it.
 

wwfbader

Active member
I had a friend once that would self-abuse herself, not quite sure but she had a Leo moon and a Scorpio Sun so I think a combination of water and fire could possibly be an option or even Sun Square Moon.
 

theV

Well-known member
Self-Harm has something to do with moon in pisces I know a lot of suicidal people who have pisces moon and moon-pluto aspects cause when you use it badly it could be destructive moon saturn is another case.
 

LoneMars

Active member
Moog, I don't know how to post a pic of my chart and would probably mess it up so I'll give you guys my birth data:

Dec 31 1982 in Biddeford, Maine at 9:00 pm.

MaeMae- I have also found what you posted to be true.

I'm a little late to the conversation, but had to respond. This is my birthdate also, with a time of 11:30pm pacific.

While I do not self-harm, I am drawn to the submissive role in a BDSM relationship. I also have a Venus-Pluto square, which can express the darker side of romance, as well as the moon-Saturn square. My unaspected mars is in Aquarius, which can explain the sexual adventurousness.

The only significant difference in our charts would be I have a libra rising, while yours is cancer. Libra tends to project onto their partner, while cancer protects. This could be why I need to experience pain through a partner, and you on your own.
 
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CapGoddess

Well-known member
Lone Mars, thank you for your response. Never late to a conversation when adding more insight.

When mentioning the Ascendants are you using a western or sidereal chart? What house system are you using?

I ask because when I use a whole sign sidereal chart my Ascendant I believe is Leo and using a western chart it is Virgo.


Curious what house is your Mars in?

For some reason I feel the Mars in Aquarius for me denotes a lot of misguided energy if you will.
 

LoneMars

Active member
You are right. I was using the western and have no idea how I got cancer. It would be Virgo. And i thought i had it all figured out... I don't know how that would fit in to the equation.

My mars is in the fifth house, which seems kind of fitting. Mars, for me, is like this unruly teenager that I constantly have to keep in check. It's promiscuous and daring. It seems to be constantly looking for trouble and pushing boundaries. Before I settled down, I was the ultimate party girl - partying all night, hooking up with random guys, experimenting with drugs. Above all, I've prided myself on how much I was not needy, emotional, or really very feminine. In retrospect, I see this as that strong renegade mars energy gone wild in the party house.

Your Mars would be in the 6th house, correct? This is the house of health and service. It determines how the mind affects the body, which would make a lot of sense on the original topic. I can see how that uncontrolled action oriented mars energy could wreak havoc on the body, especially considering some of the other hard aspects in your chart. I'm wondering if you have an intense fitness routine. Virgo governs the 6th house. Virgo can be a bit of a health nut and I'd imagine that mars energy would really push you to the extreme in that area, especially with a Virgo rising.

I just noticed, is your moon in cancer? The moon switched over to Leo by my birth time, but looks like you are just barely in cancer.
 

CapGoddess

Well-known member
Well Virgo may turn its criticism inwardly for the most part I believe that's a possibility.

I do not really have a fitness routine period. I do have to clean on a daily basis however. Otherwise I just don't feel like I've accomplished anything.

I believe my Moon is in 2 degrees of Leo actually.


Thank you for your response.
 

midnight sun

Well-known member
I am suicidal for years and try to commit twice. All my life, I hate myself, I am praying for death everyday :smile:

I am Cancer with Virgo Moon. Mercury, Mars all in Cancer.
Libra asc but Pluto in first house. Pluto aspects are good. But;

Saturn-SN in 2nd opposite Venus-NN in 8th, both sqaure Jupiter in 4th
Neptune in 3rd opposite Sun-Mars in 9th.

I am living the three kinds of water signs at the same time. And to make matters worse, Virgo Moon, God I hate that! This is just a self-torturer, nothing more.

Virgo Moon: From outside, your life is beautiful, you have everything, everything's going fine but in your head; you're always unhappy, your life is always bad and you always deserve to die. And no one sees it :smile: you never show outside.
 

theV

Well-known member
I am suicidal for years and try to commit twice. All my life, I hate myself, I am praying for death everyday :smile:

I am Cancer with Virgo Moon. Mercury, Mars all in Cancer.
Libra asc but Pluto in first house. Pluto aspects are good. But;

Saturn-SN in 2nd opposite Venus-NN in 8th, both sqaure Jupiter in 4th
Neptune in 3rd opposite Sun-Mars in 9th.

I am living the three kinds of water signs at the same time. And to make matters worse, Virgo Moon, God I hate that! This is just a self-torturer, nothing more.

Virgo Moon: From outside, your life is beautiful, you have everything, everything's going fine but in your head; you're always unhappy, your life is always bad and you always deserve to die. And no one sees it :smile: you never show outside.

I think you felt not pretty lonely and not loving yourself enough Saturn opposite Venus those cause might be of reason of harming yourself.

Christina Ricci had the same aspect she used to starve herself which is pretty much harming yourslef
 

Cascada

Well-known member
I have self-harmed before (with the intention of suicide) from the ages 11 up until I turned about 16/17. I don't really have any of the placements mentioned :/ both my Moon and Mars are virtually unaspected. My Moon is 0 degrees Libra conjunct Venus, which is the only major aspect it has, my Mars is in Scorpio conjunct Mercury and opposing the MC. Mars also semisquares Venus but that's it. I have Moon biquintile Saturn and semisquare Mercury.
 
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