Hi Neptune Rising,
I found one remarkable coincidence on at least two things you said about your life. I have also been doing mostly office work for ten years, on different jobs for other people and I am now looking forward to starting something of my own. A not so well placed Saturn may be something very delicate to deal with. How have you coped with that?
I, myself, wished I could have a clearer picture of what to do exactly from now on, I have some ideas but doubt is always a problem. I think sometimes this is due to a square from my natal Neptune to my natal Mercury and Jupiter (conjunct) which clouds permanently my thinking. I think this aspect has been sometimes good to find some original approaches to handle tasks, but when I find one such solution I have been looking for something else. For someone with a water, fire or air sign that might be Ok, but I am so earthy and capricornian that it just freaks me out. On top of that, my Moon is in Taurus, which I interpret and experience as a soothing factor, but is not very apt to help me face so much unpredicatability. To make it graphic, it seems that in order to hit a target I have to point and shoot elsewhere.
What eases somehow all this is the Aquarian component in my chart. Saturn which is the ruler of my Ascendant is in Aquarius, as also are Jupiter and Mercury, which in turn are in trine to my MC. The air component in my chart somehow helps me adapt to these events, which I do not even know how to name or describe (Neptunian confusion?).
From your user name I asume you have a prominent Neptune in your chart and might have a say about all this. I'd appreciate it if you gave me some insight on all that.
Interesting similarities with Sun, mine is at 25 degree Cap, same MC degree.
With Saturn, also ruling Sun, for me I'm not sure it's too bad as mine is also on Sirius, in the 7th house. The yoga work started up with the help of a friend (Saturn in house of others?) encouraging me. I hadn't managed to get up the courage on my own. Saturn rules my 2nd house of self value so it was tough to find enough self value. But now I'm doing it, it gets easier, still always a lessson though with the Saturn influence.
I also have Chiron in square to my Sun, which also gives me challenges to my self value system. I am finding this useful now though, it's not plain sailing setting up on my own I always have the self doubts that used to sabotage all my efforts. I think now though, as Saturn in in Libra which is a good placement, and on the 10th house, another naturally good placement, this is helping me get over all my self sabotague and self doubts and keep working at making this work. It's like, I can see no other way but to make this work, which also helps push me on. I am also lucky (I think) as progressed Mars is conjuncting my natal Sun, giving me the energy I need to keep going.
Yes my Neptune is on the Ascendant which helps me to soak up all the energies around me! I meditate daily though and do yoga which helps to ground me, essential I've found to my well being. I see your Mercury square Nep, and Merc being in your house of self worth also could cause you to doubt yourself and your ideas. The square though is something of a gift for us to work through in this lifetime. It can be strengthening when we learn how to master the energies of the square. I have Moon and Jupiter in Pisces square Nep but I am not delusional. I was very dreamy when I was younger but very much with reality now as I've learned to understand the Moon/Nep tendencies.
It looks like you have alot of drive with those first house planets, and Mars in it's exhaltation in Cap in the first! Do you think that gets you past the self doubting Merc/Nep?
Saturn now is transiting square your Mars. Do you find that you feel your progress is slowing down? Or find you are working harder? Or no real different?
NR