Bad placements for ever finding love...

Venusinlibra

Well-known member
And by the way, if you dont understand why Im not satisfied, learn about the nature of a square between Moon and Venus - especially such strong Moon and Venus as mine. In few words, the energies of Moon - the way you approach safety and emotion issues in life - is not operating in accordance with the energies of Venus - the way you approach pleasure, romantic love, social harmony. While my Moon in cancer (in the 12th, not the 1th!) wants to sit at a nest and get fat, my Venus in libra wants a charming, sexy, exciting and a bit naughty fairy tale.
I think contemporary astrologers are placing too much enphasis on free will and underestimating the power of the birth chart.
Stephen Arroyo says that you never know if a person is doing great job with a difficult map, or lousy job with an easy one, so, again: Let´s not be so judgemental!
 

ashriia

Well-known member
Hi, VenusinLibra

sounds like it's open season, on you in this thread. sheesh. I am so glad you shared all you did in this thread, because it's astrologically relevant. I have a similar setup to you. Moon in 12th(Gemini), conjunct ascendant by 1 degree. 1st house is cancer. My sun is opposite Uranus. venus, Jupiter, moon, mars, saturn and pluto are all aspecting Uranus. I like my freedom :biggrin:

Every reply you have received here in this thread I've been told as well, only in person and non astrologically. I have been living with a man for 11 years, who is very saturnian, has moon in aquarius. weird, this similarity. though we are not together. we were together the 1st year. since then it's more of a roommate setup. we date other people - he is more like my immature brother who I happen to be friends with. So it's a little different there. People don't understand living arrangements like this. Especially not men. Because men will think like men. and expect you to be sleeping with your roommate. since they likely would. so it doesn't matter if you're not.

Most people that would date you, aware of your living situation, are most probably not going to be the right type of partners. If you want a healthy relationship with someone more likely to be honest and loyal, youre probably going to have to move elsewhere. Your friend might be more like a security blanket that at some point your going to need to let go of if you are seeking a loyal long term romantic partner. requited love, doesn't seem to be denied to you. but your hindering your prospects of finding it.

I'm leaving my own situation with plans to move back to my natal city/home to open up new avenues in my own life, and let go of the past which I've totally outgrown.

I think when you have challenging aspects to Uranus this is what is so challenging embracing uranian nature. letting go of a safe existence.

lastly, you don't have to be more feminine and play Susie-home-maker/dumb it down/be less assertive to find a suitable partner. what's that about. just be honest with who you are from the get go and you'll attract someone that compliments your nature, but you might have to give up your housing arrangement for it. & There are plenty of intellectual interesting men that don't care if you order Chinese take out every night. this is 2013. not the stone age. you don't have to change who you are fundamentally to find someone. that's my Lilith 1st house talking!


all the best to you hun :smile:
 
M

may28gemini

And by the way, if you dont understand why Im not satisfied, learn about the nature of a square between Moon and Venus - especially such strong Moon and Venus as mine. In few words, the energies of Moon - the way you approach safety and emotion issues in life - is not operating in accordance with the energies of Venus - the way you approach pleasure, romantic love, social harmony. While my Moon in cancer (in the 12th, not the 1th!) wants to sit at a nest and get fat, my Venus in libra wants a charming, sexy, exciting and a bit naughty fairy tale.
I think contemporary astrologers are placing too much enphasis on free will and underestimating the power of the birth chart.
Stephen Arroyo says that you never know if a person is doing great job with a difficult map, or lousy job with an easy one, so, again: Let´s not be so judgemental!

Your posts seem like you're bemoaning your situation as if you're the only one who suffers from this and that. When I said you were at least beautiful at some point, that was just a general statement. I don't know what you look like, but I could really care less. If you think you're beautiful, then that's great. I never said you aren't. I never said that a 50 year old can't be beautiful. That shows how insecure you are and when your insecurities gets exposed you start projecting your own issues to others. You jump to too many conclusions about what others say when they say what you don't want to hear.

You're not the only one with Moon square Venus. There's plenty of people who have that aspect. Even I have that (Pisces-Gemini) and my best friend (Cancer-Aries) but neither she nor I don't have a "woe is me" outlook on love. That aspect didn't delay or deny marriage on my account nor my friend's. I might think there's a lot of unsuitable men out there for me, but who cares? I'm not with them, I don't have to be with them. I wouldn't want something with anyone unsuitable anyway. No, not everyone will hold my detached and objective sort of views and I get that. But quite frankly, it is not helpful for you or anyone else for that matter to be boohooing about something they can take steps to change and track progress. Blaming parts of your astrological chart makeup is never the answer because all that does is give you excuses on repeating the same mistakes. Have you questioned why you attract the same kind of men that mistreat you? Have you thought of what it is you're willing to put up with and what's a no-go? Have you considered that there's something that you can do to meet more men that you would like (similar activities, etc.)? There are many things you can do that can help you change your situation so you can achieve what you want. It's not something that cannot be concretely obtained in this world.

I'm really NOT a jerk. If I didn't care, if I'm really a mean person, I would let you and anyone else that comes on with problems to wallow in their own misery and not ever say a single word. I know full well that I sound really harsh and maybe some members on the forum know me as saying some really harsh cut and dry things and I could be very well persona non grata, but I keeping things grounded and leveled. Which brings me to the point that in reality, people don't learn from gentleness, they learn when they encounter obstacles and it's the hardships that pushes a person to take action. I don't care if you're 50 or 15, and unless you're enslaved in some cage in the middle of the jungle, you operate on free will and make choices. I will keep telling people how it is, not because I'm trying to rub salt in your wounds because I'm not, but I'm not putting on a soft bandage for you and telling you it's all right when you say it's not. Whether or not you're happy with the choices you've made is up to you. But if you're unhappy, find ways to change it, act instead of react. I realize maybe that's a hard thing as I noticed you have debilitated Cancer Mars. But I'm just offering some sensible, real suggestions. You can decide if you want to take them into consideration, but you needn't be upset or defensive about your shortcomings as everyone has them. I see a lot of people do that on the forum and it really is distressing to see that there's more who are willing to use astrology to bury their heads in the sand rather than work towards concrete ways to resolve those maladies.

BTW, Waybread is really cool and caring and is one of the most rational members on the forum. Listen to Waybread if my words are too sharp.
 
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waybread

Well-known member
VenusinLibra, please realize that we are just a bunch of strangers on an Internet forum. We have no idea who you are in person, and will not try to find out. So there is no need for you to feel embarrassed. BTW, your English is fine. You have no trouble expressing yourself.

With your dignified Mercury, you surely realize that if you start your OP with, "At age 50, ...I NEVER had a requited romantic relationship. I have had several boyfriends, but none of them ever looked at me as a lifetime partner.... asked to marry, or the like. ... I ALWAYS end up kicked;" you are liable to get some tough answers.

I mean, nobody posts, "I am in a deeply happy fulfilling marriage. Can you look at my chart and explain why?"

But notice how hard you came down on me when I asked some tough questions and made some judgments that you didn't like! I wonder, did you respond in similar ways to these BFs you loved, when they displeased you? This sort of behaviour seems very consistent, to me, with sun conjunct Pluto, seconded by Mercury square Mars. Sun-Pluto people often construe relationships as power dynamics: dominate or be dominated. This could help to explain why you have not had a fulfilling long-term romantic relationship, because after a certain amount of stress and drama, the other person gets tired of it. You may win an argument but lose a relationship.

Do you think your sun-Pluto just might affect your ability to sustain a relationship?

Also, I notice that you said your BFs essentially started sneaking behind your back, notably wanting to see other women. This suggests to me that they didn't want you to overwhelm them with anger, by their ending the relationship more openly, and sooner.

I understand why you wouldn't find the lack of a fulfilling sexual and romantic relationship conducive to the life you wish to lead. But no, I don't think it is moon square Venus. Generally the folks who really have difficulty with celibacy have hard Mars-Venus aspects, oftentimes with some other planet like Pluto thrown in.

A Cancer moon craves and needs the feeling of emotional closeness and bonding with someone; and fully expects to give it in return. This overwhelming sense of desire heightens with Venus in Libra, a partnership-oriented sign. These feelings are also heightened by the close square. Venus in Libra is generally more mental (as an air sign) and artistic than strongly sexual, yet with your powerful moon conjunct your ascendant, you do "wear your heart on your sleeve."

Passion is good-- up to a point. Many people without so many domiciled planets, or whose charts are predominantly air and fire, would probably find you overwhelming, however. A sun in Aquarius or Gemini man, for example, really needs his mental and emotional space, not the emotional closeness you crave.

If you can recall why these boyfriends said they were splitting with you (if they were courageous enough to give you reasons,) see if you can find those factors in your horoscope.
 
M

may28gemini

My sun is opposite Uranus. venus, Jupiter, moon, mars, saturn and pluto are all aspecting Uranus. I like my freedom :biggrin:
I think when you have challenging aspects to Uranus this is what is so challenging embracing uranian nature. letting go of a safe existence.

If you have Scorpio Uranus, I have that too. My Sun is also opposite Uranus. In addition, I have Uranus trine Moon, inconjunct Mercury, opposite Mars, sextile Jupiter, sextile Saturn. I love and will fight for freedom. Despite all that, I still had 3 men propose marriage to me (2 were Aquarius Sun, 1 Leo Sun) and I married the 3rd one. The Aquarian males that I met are pretty traditional but wacky (I just love that). My point is, having a lot of Uranian energy doesn't prevent a person from marriage or getting married or having a monogamous/requited/traditional love relationship.


I lived with a male roommate before, and I hated him. I had 2 boyfriends (not at the same time) during the time I lived with that male roommate and they never thought there was anything that went on between me and the roommate. As a matter of fact, my roommate and I were acrimonious at best (and that's an exaggeration).

There is something to be said about the energy that bounces off of others when you're in the same space with them. People do pick up on those energies, even if it's a subconscious (or even unconscious) process. If a woman is living with a man and the woman's beau picks up the energy that there is nothing between them, the beau can relax and continue having a relationship with the woman and there would be some opportunity for them to progress their relationship further. If the woman (for whatever reason) refuse to let go of her male roommate, wouldn't that not only look but sound suspicious?! There's no way a man would want/put up with his female partner taking her male roommate with them as the relationship goes further.

lastly, you don't have to be more feminine and play Susie-home-maker/dumb it down/be less assertive to find a suitable partner. what's that about. just be honest with who you are from the get go and you'll attract someone that compliments your nature, but you might have to give up your housing arrangement for it. & There are plenty of intellectual interesting men that don't care if you order Chinese take out every night. this is 2013. not the stone age. you don't have to change who you are fundamentally to find someone. that's my Lilith 1st house talking!

I never suggested to VinL nor said that anyone has to be a "Susie homemaker" nor "dumb it down" nor "be less assertive" to get a man/boyfriend/husband. None of those points cancel each other out. A homemaker isn't necessarily someone who dumbed it down or less assertive. My mother was a homemaker for a long time, not because she's an idiot and was less assertive but she's a bit on the traditional spectrum when it came to martial relations and my father is pretty traditional across the board. He wanted my mother to be at home to be there for his children and she was happy to do it. During her time as a "homemaker," my father paid for her Master's degree. He doesn't have a Master's (just a Bachelor's) but he paid for his wife's and paid for me and my brother to go to private schools. As soon as my brother and I got older, she wanted to go back to work and so she did. My mother worked in the finance department in big corporations since I was 9 years old and retired a few years ago. My mother never stayed in that homemaker/dumbed down state but she always kept her femininity.

Judging from how you phrased that, there's definitely animosity towards those who aren't into embracing pro-feminist sentiments. What I said was that if you want something traditional, you have to offer something equally traditionally (strong)- like attracts like. I'm well aware that there's many types of marriages and there's all sorts of unconventional setups. Relationships mean something different depending on the individual and people have the ability to individually determine what it is that they want to get out of the relationship. But that does not invalidate what I previously stated because there is a law of equal exchange, quip pro quo, and that's always in play. If you are only concerned about only getting what you want without offering something similar in exchange, you're going to keep getting hurt. Fight reality if you want to, but it's futile. I guess that's just my evil Scorpio Lilith keeping it real. No wait, it's my Libra Saturn in the 1st again.
 
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Venusinlibra

Well-known member
Dear Ashiiria, thank you for sharing. I thought that the point at an astrology forum was to bring up issues - most of time quite private ones - and relate them to astrologic matters. Too bad that some people have such overinflated egos - maybe Pluto on ascendant, probably causing eating disorders and an urge for self asserting that leads them to search prey at any means at their reach, and websites, you know, they guarantee safe anonimity so they can give free way to their omnipotence and omniscience fantasies.

Back to astrology, that is what matters, I relate the similarities of our experiences to the cancer ascendant, it indicates that saturnine partners are a possibility for us, but of course, being so uranians as we are, we could not cope with boring, "lecturers" types, so both our friends have more "airy" elements.

As you well know, Uranus has a disruptive, instable quality that makes people uneasy at times. For the, let´s say, "simpler" ones, it feels like pure radioactivity! Add to that the vibe of a cancerian ascendant, with its apparent fragility, and it sounds like a invitation to bullying!

I believe that "free will" X "birth chart" is a valid discussion, and for sure I think there is a considerable amount of free will at our destinies, but my interest here was to get a better understanding of the astrologic forces operating in the chart. Astrology is about energy patterns within every individual, that atract by interaction certain kinds of people and events, and also about learning with these especific experiences. Free will stands in what you do with what you learned.

Hi, VenusinLibra

sounds like it's open season, on you in this thread. sheesh. I am so glad you shared all you did in this thread, because it's astrologically relevant. I have a similar setup to you. Moon in 12th(Gemini), conjunct ascendant by 1 degree. 1st house is cancer. My sun is opposite Uranus. venus, Jupiter, moon, mars, saturn and pluto are all aspecting Uranus. I like my freedom :biggrin:

Every reply you have received here in this thread I've been told as well, only in person and non astrologically. I have been living with a man for 11 years, who is very saturnian, has moon in aquarius. weird, this similarity. though we are not together. we were together the 1st year. since then it's more of a roommate setup. we date other people - he is more like my immature brother who I happen to be friends with. So it's a little different there. People don't understand living arrangements like this. Especially not men. Because men will think like men. and expect you to be sleeping with your roommate. since they likely would. so it doesn't matter if you're not.

Most people that would date you, aware of your living situation, are most probably not going to be the right type of partners. If you want a healthy relationship with someone more likely to be honest and loyal, youre probably going to have to move elsewhere. Your friend might be more like a security blanket that at some point your going to need to let go of if you are seeking a loyal long term romantic partner. requited love, doesn't seem to be denied to you. but your hindering your prospects of finding it.

I'm leaving my own situation with plans to move back to my natal city/home to open up new avenues in my own life, and let go of the past which I've totally outgrown.

I think when you have challenging aspects to Uranus this is what is so challenging embracing uranian nature. letting go of a safe existence.

lastly, you don't have to be more feminine and play Susie-home-maker/dumb it down/be less assertive to find a suitable partner. what's that about. just be honest with who you are from the get go and you'll attract someone that compliments your nature, but you might have to give up your housing arrangement for it. & There are plenty of intellectual interesting men that don't care if you order Chinese take out every night. this is 2013. not the stone age. you don't have to change who you are fundamentally to find someone. that's my Lilith 1st house talking!


all the best to you hun :smile:
 

Venusinlibra

Well-known member
Waybread, thank you. You´re quite right on certain points, and not so right on others, but to further the analysis I would have to expose a bit more of my privacy and frankly, I don´t feel like that nomore.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Do you mean me, VenusinLibra, in your post to ashiiria? Actually, no-- I don't have Pluto on the ascendant, no eating disorder, and I don't "search for prey on websites." That would be a big misuse of astrology. I try to be helpful to people, but not everybody wants to hear what it is that would allow them to have what they say they want in life.

Over-inflated ego? Hey, if you got it, flaunt it! :cool:

Thanks for the acknowledgement.
 

Venusinlibra

Well-known member
And by the way, all the best at your new life. I´m sure you will be happy, coz you don´t sound like someone that hold darkness in your heart.

Dear Ashiiria, thank you for sharing. I thought that the point at an astrology forum was to bring up issues - most of time quite private ones - and relate them to astrologic matters. Too bad that some people have such overinflated egos - maybe Pluto on ascendant, probably causing eating disorders and an urge for self asserting that leads them to search prey at any means at their reach, and websites, you know, they guarantee safe anonimity so they can give free way to their omnipotence and omniscience fantasies.

Back to astrology, that is what matters, I relate the similarities of our experiences to the cancer ascendant, it indicates that saturnine partners are a possibility for us, but of course, being so uranians as we are, we could not cope with boring, "lecturers" types, so both our friends have more "airy" elements.

As you well know, Uranus has a disruptive, instable quality that makes people uneasy at times. For the, let´s say, "simpler" ones, it feels like pure radioactivity! Add to that the vibe of a cancerian ascendant, with its apparent fragility, and it sounds like a invitation to bullying!

I believe that "free will" X "birth chart" is a valid discussion, and for sure I think there is a considerable amount of free will at our destinies, but my interest here was to get a better understanding of the astrologic forces operating in the chart. Astrology is about energy patterns within every individual, that atract by interaction certain kinds of people and events, and also about learning with these especific experiences. Free will stands in what you do with what you learned.
 

Venusinlibra

Well-known member
No, I didn't mean you, what made you think like that? LOL... Anyway, there are a lot of Darth Vader's apprentices out there, you know...
 

ashriia

Well-known member
My point is, having a lot of Uranian energy doesn't prevent a person from marriage or getting married or having a monogamous/requited/traditional love relationship.

I understand that. But having a moon in 12th with uranian energy *might* keep all relationships untraditional. venusinlibra has Uranus conjunct sun & pluto with a 12th moon aspecting venus. likely all her relationships are going to be a little different. My 12th moon is not in aspect to venus. but is in the 12th as well with moon. And I've not had a single traditional relationship ever in my 35 years. I don't forsee it happening either, but i'm fine with that.

I think it's a combination of the moon sitting there + Uranus to mix things up.


& about the homemaker part...


I mentioned 3 different things. they weren't coupled together.
I don't think homemakers are dumb. Staying at home to care for kids, clean and take care of one's family by being home is a choice. surely a very traditional choice. but some women enjoy that life. I have a friend who stays at home and looks after her boys. she is sharp as a whip and not dumb. her husbands a jerk. but that's a different story. My cousin is an ex marine and she is a stay at home mom now. she is tough as nails. but those are choices. However. I only made mentioned of those things because I feel like i understand where venusinlibra is coming from. and what i was reading was advice on how to be more traditionally feminine. From what you said, in reply here, not a lot of men would put up with her freedom loving ways. That's what got me.

And this sort of thing would really depend on the man in question. An aqua moon or venus man or hell even an aquarius sun with lot of air placements would want a more freedom loving independent woman who wants some space. - would even find it attractive. Different strokes for different folks. Obviously she wants love in her life here hence, the title. And in my opinion she doesn't need to change her ways to find it. granted, living with a man won't fly with a lot of potential suitors. which is what I was trying to address. But she wants a loving romance which is what given her posts she doesn't have and what this post was really all about in the first place. anyhoo maybe i misinterpreted what you said. or read too much into it. But i am glad she posted what she did because astrologically it's interesting.
 

ashriia

Well-known member
And by the way, all the best at your new life. I´m sure you will be happy, coz you don´t sound like someone that hold darkness in your heart.

thank you :biggrin: that's sweet.

oh and actually i'm not a cancer asc. I'm a Gemini ascendant. but my asc is 29 degrees Gemini. so first house is predominately cancer and I've got Jupiter and moon conjunct ascendant. basically i wear my heart on my sleeves like most cancer risings.


I hope I didn't hijack your post in any way either. i was trying to avoid that. :pinched:
 
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