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Steeler, I sympathise with this in a way... but I have come to realise that these "FEARS" which are extremely real when you feel them... are often something that I have created in my own mind and which are not really based on reality, but on past experiences, which are triggered simply by a look, or a innocent comment... quite innocent... yet in my mind it snowballs...
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(HAHAHAH)!
Tell me about it.
Hello Nightsky! I got mars square nep too.
With only one difference: My neptune is in the Asc and my mars is in the fourth house.
So, I thing this got to be similar in any way.
You know, I have had many problems like yours. I have had many problems with unnecesarily questioning myself and not feeling strong at the times of confrontation (reading at the other member´s posts too).
Because this aspect confers much sensitivity.
I know I´m very sensitive.
And I actually like to be sensitive (very musical, having great contact with my environment).
But it can get very bad when you got harmed (physically, emotionally, etc).
The deal with "confusions about what cause those fears or insecurities that you even have created apparently" relates to this aspect.
I don´t mind admitting that I´m not a good astrologer (because I´m not really), but anyways I like very, very, very, very much astrology. The point is that problems with the individuality would be worse for the neptune asc version (me, in other words).
I can figure out how you must feel.
I think you feel the need of unfold yourself so anybody would accept you and also respect you. I say this considering you have mars in the ascendant, then you would be wanting to feel like you got the power.
Then, neptune in your fourth house makes you feel running out of back up.
You mentioned that your parents were not so good with you.
Do you have any hold in the past, somehow?
Form my part I can say that the self-attacking qualities of the mars-nep square, are intensified in me.
Because my tightest aspects are inconjunctions from mars and mercury to pluto.
I have experienced, that this inconjunctions are a lot of trouble.
Very tensionating, frustrating, desesperating aspects (that match just perfect with another problem that is very tangible, in my body I mean).
The thing is that this aspects drown the mind and the energies to the very hidden places. And all that is a complication.
In the end, I´m just defending myself of blurring out from the fear of loosing my identity.
At this now, I have a very tight hold on this problems. I have learned how to take them in the good way, work with them and incorporate them to my unity.
And seeing how precious is
BEING PRACTICAL and having common sense XD.
I guess this aspects just can be resolved by really looking at your own face,
your true face. And trusting in yourself. And auto-boosting your self-esteem (THAT WORKS MAN).
So, that was my post.
Feel free to reply =)