Mars in my natal chart is on the Ascendant square Neptune on the IC. So to me this aspect manifests in a concrete way. If anyone should understand it, i ought to be able to... and share my thoughts with people.
I have read varying statements about hard Mars-Neptune aspects, which range in variety and interpretation. But I am still in need of clarification.
Neptune is the planet most associated with imagination, and sensitivity. And Mars enables us to stand up for ourselves and say what we want and get what we want.
Neptune also is deceptive and illusive, and gullible as f**k.
here is the Astro weekly interpretation.
Often the Neptune energy emerges in its distorted nature, in that there can be disconcerting emotional impulses, strange imaginations and obsessions, or negative types of habit=patterned behaviour, which can be essentially self-destructive through a vulnerability to the Neptunian addictions of drugs, alcohol and compulsive sexual obsessions.
Ok, vulnerability. I am not so strong, physically or emotionally or anything. And I put myself in situations where I am in danger sometimes, in both senses. I sometimes project an image of strength as a ploy to cover up that vulnerableness. When I have energy i am so confident... but next day maybe it's all gone, i can't do anything, suddenly it's like trying to swim against a fast flowing river upstream... get worn out and get nowhere.
Obsessive behaviour and sexual fixations. I am obsessive with whoever it is that i like, not a stalker though, I thought that's Pluto's job. When I get rejected I happily accept it and find another fixation. Though i admit that when I find out some girl is stalking me, i go for her, to have a stalker is the greatest honour.
Drugs n' alcohol. I have tried and found that it puts me out of balance. A hangover is a hangover to normal people. Thankfully I think I am a responsible drinker. (this is false) It can cause depression. I notice if i overdo it one night, it takes whole weeks to recover or even longer. Thankfully I don't do it that often then. I have no control over it.
I have a habit of believing things which are not true. But to me if someone says something generally i believe it. Then there is paranoia where I am convinced that someone is lying when they are not.
Found that sometimes don't feel good enough, for anyone, or that anything i do is good enough, feel undermined and filled with self-doubts. But when I have the energy and go for stuff without hesitation it always works.