My daughter has serious problem, please help

KayBug

Well-known member
My 22 yr old daughter has been in a relationship with a 50 yr old man for about a yr and is living with him in his Father's house. All of her friends told her to stay away from him including me. They are both unemployed. She has "supposedly" come to see the light about him and wants to come back home but she is pregnant and does not want to have it. His Father is tired of giving him money, he throws it away, and he does not want to give him the money for an abortion and I definitely have no money.

She also has a court date in March for simple possession of marijuana that the attorney has been getting continued as she has not been able to pass a drug test.

I'm very concerned about how all this is going to end up playing out.

Please read her chart. Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Kaybug
 
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starlink

Well-known member
Excuse me Rahu, but just stating this is more like fortune telling than astrology. Would it be possible for you to explain precisely, what the astrological indications of your prediction are? Where can we see this in this chart? No matter how tough, please do give astrological evidence, backing up your post. Thank you.

STarlink
 
KayBug,

I'm too busy to respond at the moment, but I promise to write something soon.

Chiron, Neptune, and Pluto, at the moment, are what are speaking to me the loudest.

I will get back to you.


mod.
 

KayBug

Well-known member
Rahu

Thank you for the information. I'm very sorry to hear this and if this marriage occurs and she has this baby my sympathies are with her but only my sympathies.

My daughter has never wanted to be married. This is not a decision she made last year or 3 years ago, it is the way she has always felt. She enjoys a relationship but never wanted to be married.

As for the pregnancy, I'm sorry for her and the child, as like with marriage, she has never wanted children. She does not even like children and would not do any babysitting in her teen years to make some money for herself.

My involvement in her life is suspended at the moment and maybe permanently by me. For approximately the last 7 years she has created nothing but turmoil in my life emotionally and financially to the point of almost financial ruin. I have stood behind her, loved her, supported her emotionally and financially but no more. I will always love her but evidently though whatever kind of revelation I have had about her I no longer feel as I use to toward her. Perhaps I have, "seen the light", so to speak.

I have told her she cannot come home again until she dumps this man. As cruel as this may sound, my health is very poor and not even near as good as it was a year ago and it was not good at all then. I'm not sure I would want her to come back home to live even then as I can't handle the turmoil she brings into my life. I can't handle her or her situations any more. Again, thank you.

Kaybug
 

PaxMercurius

Well-known member
Hi KayBug,

I drew a horary for the time I read your question, and the answer to the chart is that she will almost certainly come home. You, Venus, are combust - this leads me to believe that you are blind to something about your daughter, or are not seeing some part of her predicament. Being combust may also indicate your worry for her. Your significator and hers are both in Aquarius - perhaps indicating estrangement - but with the potential to become friends. This will involve some conflict, but there is definately potential for it to be worked out. Make sure to hear her story and her feelings, and beware of blind spots or lies - she may lie to you, or has lied to you, about things you do not yet know about. Likely this was not to specifically deceive you, but more out of defensiveness and fear of judgement or concern for 'what you would think'.

Your daughter, the Sun, is severely debilitated and peregrine - she is wandering in the wilderness of her own making, disconnected and aimless. She is ruled by Saturn - the baby and the partner - and obsessed with someone's esteem - possibly yours. She is not very content with herself, either, as the Sun is in its own detriment.

You, Venus, are in a much stronger position - you also are ruled by Saturn, but in mutual reception with it: I am assuming this is the baby, instead of the partner. I don't think you're too sure about your daughter (Sun in its detriment again), perhaps even disliking her, though not hate or loathing. Mistrust, maybe?

That she is pregnant is clearly indicated - the significator of the baby is Saturn in Libra in her turned 1st House, the house of her body, a classic indicator of pregnancy. Being Saturn, the baby is percieved as a burden. However, Saturn is exalted - it is also trine her significator, the Sun. I feel that she may come around and accept the child in time, especially if you encourage and support her in the pregnancy. With the trine present, the child may actually be very good for her, provided it (probably male) has a stable home.

The horary certainly indicates this is not an ideal solution, without any easy fix, but the potential is there for you and her to work together. Do be wary of those blind spots and gaps in your information, however.

Looking at her natal chart, she is a stubborn girl, prone to personal drama and exaggeration of her dramas, honestly quite good hearted, I think, but with a deep fear and loathing of herself. She mistrusts herself, and is perhaps paranoid that others mistrust her. She is probably not very intellectual, acting on emotions and subjectivity and this would form a sort of skewed practicality which leads in the wrong directions. With Scorpio on the 12H and 1H cusp, she is running away from the darker parts of herself, fears herself, and as a result, consistantly projects this fear into the world. With those squares to Neptune, deeply impressionable, probably quite fantasical in many ways, and easily wooed with illusions of perfection and romance.

The key to your daughter's chart is Mars opp Saturn and Uranus. Mars is her ruling planet, and those two oppositions will inform the root of her problems. The sextiles to the Moon and Jupiter/Venus are the keys to helping her overcome them. Sun and Mercury opp Pluto are also important. I'd suggest reading those interpretations in-depth somewhere, and seeing how they apply in her life.

Also, I would add that I disagree with Rahu: I don't think they will marry, but it may take a while for her to emotionally seperate from this man. Expect a long haul. Without knowing the depths of the situation, I would encourage you to make use of your judgement, but be honest, fair, and perhaps to involve a Libran sort of authority - a psychologist, perhaps?

Hope that helps!
 
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KayBug

Well-known member
PaxMercurius.......Thank you so very much for all the information.
____________________________________________________________

I am posting my chart in case this will be of any help with my post to all who reply.

This has been a devastating situation for me, any and all of you astrologer's help is so appreciated.

Kaybug
 
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rahu

Banned
starlink
i have a few years of experience and i don't feel it is necessary to delineate all my insights.i have what i consider propietary information and i choose not to divulge it.this is a greehorn lounge and i am more concerned with responding to heartfelt questions to those who ask.
i consider this a 12th house endeavor,which is to aid those seeking insights.this response was for kaybug and not meant to be dissected .if i chose to have my insights analysized i would post on the other forums.
you may check my past post to evaulate whether i am fortune telling or not.
i think you are way out of you role as moderator to to question me like this.

rahu
 
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milkywaygirl

Well-known member
just looking at your daughters chart briefly (i use equal so if i refer to any placements not in the natal you posted, this is why), and was interested to find that the only quindecile aspects (165deg) in her chart are between sun/merc conj in taurus to scorp asc, and from mars/chiron conj to neptune.

quindecile shows immense obsession and unrelenting focus; in this case, your daughter has sun/merc in taurus (earthy and slow to respond... lest i say "stubborn") intensely focussed on asc/dsc axis, which is all about self image/relationship. so she is intensely focussed on her self image and relationship to others. this would make me think that she is *really* not going to listen to anyone about the state of her identity or her relationship - now that is stubborn!

in addition to this, her mars in gem conj chiron in 7th makes me wonder about the whole older lover thing - mars in gem conjures up ideas and images of the young man; but with chiron conjunct, what is the pain around this image for her? why has she gone in the completely opposite direction and formed a relationship with a man so much older than her? the quindecile from mars/chiron to neptune in the second suggests that she is expressing an unrelenting and obsessive drive regarding her complex around the younger man image in relationship, and focussing it on some kind of (possibly false) idealization that a relationship with a much older man will bring her some kind of self worth (neptune in 2nd). as well neptune is in cap, with the ruler saturn in the 1st. her interest in older men is written right there in her chart. seems to me that she is operating under the obsessive assumption that an association with a much older partner will bring her a transcendent sense of self worth.

in addition to this, neptune rules her 5th of romance, so we see this mars/chiron/neptune "obsession" affecting her house of romance.

i would say to your daughter, where is the need to draw self worth from an association with someone else? what are your own values and what is the state of your own self worth? i would encourage her to foster her own sense of self worth so that she doesnt need to look to this man to gain it.

we can look to the ruler of the 2nd to find out about the condition of her self worth. its jupiter in aries in the 5th, conj venus. initially that sounds like it may bode well, venus conj jupiter in 5th brings up ideas of an expansive and active loving nature, a fiery creativity and urge to express love in an individualistic way. but on closer inspection we see jupiter tied in heavily to the "older man complex" through its trine to saturn in 1st, and sextile to chiron, and sesquiquadrate to the asc. its very hard for her to get away from that image/ideal of the older man who will come and make her feel good about herself. the one thing she does have going for her is the tight square from jupiter to vertex in 8th, which makes me think that a transformative vertex experience could shake her out of this patten. i would look at the timings of transits/progressions to her vertex by jupiter as possible times where she might be able to shake off or transform this idea of the "older man".

here are the hard transit aspects of jupiter to vertex:

jupiter squared vertex twice in 1993
jupiter opposed vertex in early 1996
jupiter squared vertex in april 1999
jupiter conjuncted vertex in oct 2001
jupiter squared vertex in dec 2004
jupiter opposed vertex in feb 2008
jupiter will square vertex in april 2011

vertex is very "inner" oriented, so as her mother, you may not be able to discern the significance of these time periods from outer events, but i would guess that these were times when that complex (self worth/older man) was being activated for her.

i am sorry to hear that your daughters situation is bringing you such stress, but i think you are doing the right thing by stepping back. sometimes people need to be left to their own devices in order to work out their own complexes, and your daughter is one of them. i know its hard to stand by and watch a loved one go through what you construe as suffering, but sometimes thats the best thing to do. i wish you all the best!
 

dhundhun

Well-known member
I am sorry to hear that.

I think, her one of the worst periods of life started with progressed ASC conjunct progressed Saturn. There are couple of hard aspects in coming 2-3 years. MC/IC is also having very hard aspect (Mars), sometimes they indicate trouble to parents - your recent surgery etc. are indicated in her horoscope.

She is born with many soft (sextile/trines) aspects. Due to this, she could not get enough learning opportunities in life. The only hard part has been in first (Saturn) and seventh (Chiron, Mars) house.

The chart has truly powerful Kite. Due to Chiron in seventh, she probably would accept all WOUNDS coming in life through seventh house affairs. It seems that maintaining relationship and child is part this configuration.

But as I mentioned in one of the earlier posts to you, you'll find solution/compromise. Someone you have been loving a lot is undergoing worst progressions - you know what to do best.

Her Mercury is combust, she is more driven by feelings and not by logic - this may be key to finding solution or compromise. she is likely to not have enough communications skill. Leaving her alone in this - that's what Planets are driving.
 
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dhundhun

Well-known member
starlink
i have a few years of experience and i don't feel it is necessary to delineate all my insights.i have what i consider propietary information and i choose not to divulge it.
...
i think you are way out of you role as moderator to to question me like this.

rahu

Rahu, I agree. I also think along the outcome you suggested. However I choose not to put in words.
 
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Lin

Well-known member
Kay, from the chart I don't see an abortion, and you know, sometimes women who never thought of being a mother become mothers once they see their baby.
I think your daughter is going to be ok, because she is not a victim and I think YOU will make yourself sick over this while she will be fine, in one way or another.
It's too bad she is a habitual pot smoker, but if this might be something that works itself out as long as it doesn't morph into other drugs.
She has a strong chart and has some powerful aspects: but just like everyone else with potential power, there are a lot of hard lessons that go along with them.
Mars and Jupiter are both 'activators" now, and I think she'll go where she thinks the money is.
LIN
 
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KayBug

Well-known member
I want to respond to all of your posts but I am feeling very sick right now.

I thank all of you astrologers for being so helpful although I will admit I am completely confused now.

Kaybug
 

starlink

Well-known member
Rahu, there is no reason whatsoever to feel upset about anything. You said:

this is a greehorn lounge

Exactly. and the Greenhorn lounge is for newcomers who want to learn astrology or for those who are not yet experienced enough in astrology to interprete their own chart, so they want others to interprete it. This is a learning forum, so if you just give an answer without some astrological back-up about what you say, then noone can learn from it. We would like to know where in the chart (transits, progressions etc.) you can actually see that she will get married. Progressed Venus coming to a conjunction of the 7th house maybe? or any other classical indication for marriage.

Only like this we can learn Rahu, and that was all I wanted to point out. I know you have astrological knowledge, so I was surprised you did not use it here. We could have all learned from it.

Rahu, I agree. I also think along the outcome you suggested. However I choose not to put in words.

Dhundhun, this also goes for you then, although you did give an astrological input. Maybe you thought the same as Rahu, but at least you did give a good astrological interpretation of the chart.

The only way people can learn astrology is to get examples. If I had asked this question I would have liked an astrological answer.
Besides, Kaybug did not ask if her daugther would get married and writes this:
I will admit I am completely confused now.
Kaybug wanted to know how things would go, and I guess she wanted to know how the courtcase would go, how the pregnancy would go (would the daughter be able to get an abortion) and the daughter most certainly has marriage on her mind as far as I can read from Kaybugs post. Kaybug wants answers and Lin is one of those members, who did give Kaybug an answer.

Starlink
 

Awakened_Pisces

Well-known member
On your Daughter's romantic troubles:

We look towards 2 houses in particular, the 5th house of Romance and
the Seventh House of Relationships.

As has been suggested previously, clearly she has some kind of fetish
if you will in the romantic area. The personal planets of Jupiter, Moon,
and Mars forming what we call a "Mini Grand Trine" or a talent triangle.

This can manifest in many ways, but given Jupiter and Moon's placements,
You may see some kind of energy in the relationships. alot of hype.

"OMG, this guy's dreamy". That kind of stuff. The Sun is also trining
Neptune, bringing some earth(structure) to these dreams.

The problem is, these sorts of energies can bring troubles in life and
romance is definately it. Venus is in Aries, otherwise it's detriment.
In the 5th house no less, probably perfers sex as opposed to a committed
relationship.

Now, here's the interesting thing about Saturn-Uranus conjunct in the first.
These are two opposite planets. Saturn(Structure) and Uranus(revolution)

When these energies come together, especially in the first. You can translate
that as someone who's willing to rebel against the structure.

In this case, we see it backfires miserably with the tight square to Mars.

Because she wants to rebel, she probably wants this older guy, and well
it cost her. Now she may probably be stuck in a relationship she doesn't want.

The Pluto-Sun opposition on the 12th/6th axis warned her as well.
That it'd be detriment to her health to do some of these things.

But as others have said, the kite and the few challenges in life have
made her overconfident and abliss to some of the mishaps.

Better late then never.
 

Courtney Love

Well-known member
starlink
i have a few years of experience and i don't feel it is necessary to delineate all my insights.i have what i consider propietary information and i choose not to divulge it.this is a greehorn lounge and i am more concerned with responding to heartfelt questions to those who ask.
i consider this a 12th house endeavor,which is to aid those seeking insights.this response was for kaybug and not meant to be dissected .if i chose to have my insights analysized i would post on the other forums.
you may check my past post to evaulate whether i am fortune telling or not.
i think you are way out of you role as moderator to to question me like this.

rahu

I hate to prolong an arguement but you're way out of line. This is a learning forum, and you should "teach" as you help. Starlink wasn't mean to you at all, but you were nasty back for no reason. You can withold your methods from clients, and decide what to share with them or you could have PMed the Op, but to do it here is ridiculous. not to mention chastising a moderator over a simple request that you "show your work" so to speak, is madness.
 
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I hate to prolong an arguement but you're way out of line. This is a learning forum, and you should "teach" as you help. Starlink wasn't mean to you at all, but you were nasty back for no reason. You can withold your methods from clients, and decide what to share with them or you could have PMed the Op, but to do it here is ridiculous. not to mention chastising a moderator over a simple request that you "show your work" so to speak, is madness.

Second that Courtney.

Rahu, perhaps you could say we all also felt slight gypped by your thoughts. How did you come to that conclusion!? (I know I was very curious.)

It is unfortunate that starlink's commentary on your post has offended you. Starlink does a wonderful job here, and part of the beauty of this site is that we share with one another our knowledge. Star was reminding us about that. It seemed to me, based on your short response, that you forgot that this is what this site is about.

Anyone might have asked you for further clarification, even Kaybug herself. You certainly don't have to, but you are doing yourself, the readers, and this site a disservice by not.

I understand you feel defensive, because perhaps you think you are being accused of malicious or neglectful behavior. You are not. Starlink was reminding you, just as we are all reminding you, about what we like and expect here, so that this wonderful, unique community continues to flourish. Preservation of certain modes of behavior, conduct, and social good will, are a part of this process. Your limited response was/is a deafening blow to this good community and its intention.

Imagine if people all over the site reduced their responses to one sentence answers? How boring and tragic!

Please consider revising your original post, as well as your attitude, as I know we all believe you have something valuable to share.

Thanks Rahu, and everyone else.

Mod.
 

smilingsteph

Well-known member
Okay lets get back to the issues here for KayBug, she surely dosent need to be in the middle of a small fire.

KayBug-
I agree with who said above that you have to let things go.

I have a wayward sister and we have decided as a collective to let her go. She ended up pregnant, she continues to be into drugs, have behavior that is not conducive to a baby, thus my family has managed to take care of my niece and my sister can visit and take her to spend the night whenever she wants, as long as drugs are not involved. Therefore, my sister takes her only two days a week.

If she wishes not to have the baby, planned parenthood here in the US has some services available to help pay for an abortion, based on financial income on the pregnant woman.

If she wishes to have the baby there are a lot of resources through churches and planned parenthood that will help give her clothing, money and a job.

Dont worry, she has a lot of options out there. So she will not be out in the cold without help, she will find her way!

I think that you have to let those you care for make mistakes so they can learn from them, pick themselves up, dust off and keep going.

The less help they get, the more resourceful they end up.

I think your daughter has a lot of capabilities to be resourceful, creative.
 

RockFish

Well-known member
I couldn't read it all, so pardon me if I'm repeating what others already said:

Your daughter has a chart full of potential for marriages, divorces and many many many kids. She has powerful positions in the 1st and 7th houses, an axis that show how we balance the self (1st house) with others (7th house) in a relationship. She tends to get involved in relationships with a lot of struggle: Mars opposed Saturn and Uranus in this axis show karma involving unusual and difficult marriages and relationships. The signs involved, Sagittarius and Gemini, point to a tendency to stablish relationships due to intellectual admiration.

The hard Saturn-Mars opposition finds its outlet with Venus and Jupiter in the 5th, house of creation and children. Her chart points to an abundance of children, to be honest. This is the very thing that will soothe the hard relationships. The North Node is there too, so that's where she is heading in life, lots of creation and children. It's possible that the child will wake her to her real path in life.

After the retrogradation, Saturn will go straight into an opposition to the North Node, Jupiter and Venus in her chart in 5th house. It's gonna hit perfection by the end of this year, so I'm considering that she will have the baby. If she gets an abortion now, nonetheless Saturn will enter 11th house by the end of this year and it will stay there for at least another year, so, I don't think the "pregnancy and children" theme is going to be finished anytime soon (11th house being opposed to the 5th and therefore activating the theme of creation). At any rate, with Saturn involved, it won't be an easy ride this year and the next for her. Saturn can only be manageable with foresight and solid preparation, so possibly that's what she will learn this time around, that you can't simply pop a child in this world without a solid structure.

Her chart shows she will like to work and will find it very much close to her real self. Mercury, the ruler of her Midheaven, trines the midheaven and is close to the Sun, so I think she will find that she actually enjoys to work.

______________________

In your chart, Saturn is transiting the 11th house (opposed the 5th, so the "offspring" theme is strong for you too lately) and will stay there till the end of this year and the beginning of 2011. It will conjunct Mars, so this is a year where you'll have a lot of repressed anger, under Saturn's weight. Right now you'll let go of the whole thing, which is shown by Saturn's retrogradation, but by October, November, you'll be faced with the most difficult period of this situation, when Saturn will perfect the conjunction (It will coincide with the birth of the baby, so that's why I think she won't have an abortion). It's good to know when a planet will be a pain in the azz for us... in general I get ready for the dang thing and wait for an earthquake and when it happens, it's never as bad as I thought. :joyful:

Nonetheless, Saturn will trine your Venus this year and Jupiter the next. Find an outlet for your anger, that will be important, maybe in writing or something like that, someone to talk to or therapy, any 3rd house activity will help you this year, so it's communication that will get you through 2010. By the second half of 2011, things will be a lot better for you.

Good luck, Kay, and please keep us posted.
 
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KayBug

Well-known member
I want to update everyone who has been so nice to me in helping me with this situation. I want to thank all of you.

My daughter had the abortion last Thursday. She's not happy where she is, which I completely understand, and she wants to come back home.

Unfortunately, things for me have gone from bad to worse. I lost my car last month to repossession and this month my electricity is going to be cut off in the next couple of days.

She knows without a car, if she can even find a job, she will have no way to get to work and back unless she stays where she is.

She doesn't need to come back here right now though anyway, as I will have no electricity for the rest of the month.

I wanted to keep you posted. And, again, thank all of you very much for your caring, concern and help.
 
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