Extreme Shyness/Never wanting to be around people

[NeptuneAscendant]

Well, I've always known I was extremely shy and reserved. I can't be myself around anyone, unless I've known them for a long time. I'm very self-conscious and worried about what others think of me. My mom was telling me I was always like this; that she and my father would have to bribe me to get me to go to a public place. I never played with any other kids and was always alone. Even to this day, I don't hang out very often, and when I do, I find it hard to let my guard down and let loose. I just can't.

Is there anything in my chart that could explain why I'm like this?

http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x21/May8mike/mychart.png

[jupiter]

Dear Neptune Ascendant,
I'm going to quote an excerpt form the Encyclopaedia of Psychological Astorlogy by CEO.Carter, with the hope of helping you understand your shyness:" Shyness is a form of Sensitiveness and is to some extent connected with too pronounced a consciousness of the self. It is also to some degree analogous with suspicion and timidity.
Astrologically the usual indicaitons are Saturnian-lunar afflictions in some form or other, and a lack of the positive elements in the map. Cancer is especially shy, and just as the lunar influence is strpongest in childhood and then grows weaker, so adults usually grow out of their shyness.
Besides cancer, virgo is often extremely shy, and the same is sometimes found in scorpio..."

[deleted overly-long quote against forum rules - Moderator]

Your ascendant is Capricorn so the Saturnine influence is there.
Your ascndant is sandwiched between neptune and uranus so they both influence it coloring your personality.

Neptune can bestow you with a piscean aura - see arts and sensitivity- taking in the environmental influences like a sponge(I have Neptune rising too but in scorpio.)

I had a teacher in psychology that used to say problematic is something if you feel it this way, otherwise is OK.
I mean if your inherent shyness doesn't affect your everyday effectiveness in anyway, why to feel different???
everybody is unique, imagine a party where everybody is exuberant, noisy etc.


However, I believe that a stellium in the 12th or the 12th house ruler in a powerful position in a chart can give a tendency to be alone rather than in the company of others. What do You think???

[Pallas-trine-Mars]

Neptune on Ascendant, Taurus Sun (happy belated bday), Capricorn asc, Chiron in 7th, possibly the Juno in Cancer (esp for the some who consider it a ruler of Taurus, I personally don't know), ruler of POF (Mercury) in it's 12th. These things point to shyness, sensitivity and dificulty with relationships and are likely some of the reasons you are that way.

[astro.teacher]

You have a Capricorn Ascendant and Saturn happens to be placed in your first house, this can definately lead to solitude and the need to be alone and by yourself. Saturn is also placed in his home Sign making him more powerful therefore leading again to solitude. This sets up a very defensive wall between you and the world. You may also fit perfectly to other Saturnine and Capricornian descriptions;

http://www.antiquus-astrology.com/Saturn.html
http://www.antiquus-astrology.com/Capricorn.html

[EJ53]

Well, I've always known I was extremely shy and reserved. I can't be myself around anyone, unless I've known them for a long time. I'm very self-conscious and worried about what others think of me. My mom was telling me I was always like this; that she and my father would have to bribe me to get me to go to a public place. I never played with any other kids and was always alone. Even to this day, I don't hang out very often, and when I do, I find it hard to let my guard down and let loose. I just can't.

Is there anything in my chart that could explain why I'm like this?

http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x21/May8mike/mychart.png

Hi NA (Mike?)

This looks very much like my grand-daughter's chart - although she will not be 15 until September this year. All the shyness traits you describe applied to her until the begining of this year - when her parents took her down to the local youth club and left her there for three hours despite her protests. That left her with little alternative but to talk to others there - and now she is one of the most popular/outgoing members in her school.

Yes, like yours, her chart shows an unusually high degree of self-consciousness - and, yes it's probably harder for boys to socialise than girls. But everyone born in 1993 has Neptune/Uranus in Capricorn (ruled by Saturn), which is the root cause of this shyness. So, few in your school year are likely to be naturally outgoing - if you speak first/open up to them, they will respond/open up to you. Why not try it for (say) a month and see what happens?

EJ:)

[smilingsteph]

Hello
Sun conjunct the IC- makes you want to retire where your roots are, the fourth house shows us where our roots are, family and our home.
You enjoy the comforts of your home, and may retire or become a recluse from time to time. Your best creativity and thoughts may happen at home with yourself or with you family.

Uranus rising- makes you feel different from others, you walk to the beat of your own drum, so you feel like someone looking in on life. You may be a little eccentric, but that is cool, it makes you who you are!

Neptune rising- You seem like an outsider as you see yourself looking into a window out to the world, those reflections you see are many and you can absorb many peoples feelings and thoughts. Be careful not to sponge up bad energies from others.

Like myself you have intercepted 11th and 5th houses. 11th house of friends, this places a strain on letting the energies from the house flow freely, therefore keeping friendships may be difficult, as you might just want to be alone.
Fifth house interception, makes creativity hard to flow as well. You have to find out what your creative outlet is and really focus in order to let it flow freely.
Sagittarius 11th house- you enjoy friends who are inspiring and optimistic. These friends may be the type that like to travel and broaden their minds, so those types of people interest you.

I would not say you are shy, as it is just wanting to be alone therefore being by yourself might be more interesting at times.

You also have pluto rising, which gives you a real career drive, able to be a good leader. People gravitate towards that, that is if you use your plutonian power for good :)

http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/Intercepted_signs.htm

A good website to look at intercepted signs!

[LionKing]

I use to think that Uranus in my rising sign is what made me sort of shy. But with Leo as a rising sign and being Leo it was pretty difficult to hide all of that Sun, ha! When I was young I was pretty shy, but now nearing 50 I get up and sing kerioke and usually take the lead or am voted to take the lead. (It's just how I roll, ha!) V/r LionKing

[hermetic]

my bet is on Sun conj IC, I have that one too, and I always belived shyness is because of it.

"I find it hard to let my guard down and let loose" - that could also be because of Capricorn ascendant.
Is it bothering you that much? How old are you?
I know these things can change if you (want to) work on them. :)

[starlink]

Chiron and Mars (initiative towards others) both in the 7th, shows your most sensitive point in your chart. On top of that, both are intercepted and therefore have great trouble to manifest, Mars especially has trouble showing initiative and "starting a relationship" with others.
Sun rules both and is placed in the very private 4th house. Sun shows where you express yourself at best and that is clearly at home where you feel safe.

But you have this wonderful Grand Trine between Moon (in optimistic, joyful Sagittarius and ruler of that 7th house of other people), Venus, ruler of that private Sun and Mars who rules your 3rd house of communication.
This to me shows that there is light at the end of the tunnel if you are indeed willing to try to reach out.

Moon is in the 11th. This placement in fact should show that you do like to be with friends or would like to have them at least. Ruler Jupiter even makes a sextile to Mars in the 7th, showing that you do get opportunities to take the first step towards making an acquaintance.

What is probably blocking you here is the inconjunct between Moon and Sun.

Sun rules the 7th house and Moon co-rules the 7th. So both rulers are not in sinc.

The inconjunct shows that you need to adjust your emotional (Moon) and your physical, expressive (Sun) sides to one another.

The Sun clearly wants to stay home and the Moon likes contact. Maybe the best attempt would be for you to join some sort of group activity, maybe through sport, where you automatically will be joining in with others instead of going alone to a pub and then try to socialize, which would be way far more difficult for you to do. After doing the sporty thing, then , together with others, go and have a drink or whatever. Force yourself to do these things and you will see.

A Yod often has to do with making choices and in this case you have to make a choice about what makes you happier. Moon trines Chiron and this, i.m.o. is a way of dealing with this "wound" of yours.

Good luck! Starlink

[NeptuneAscendant]

Thank you all for your input! What about that exact Sun Square Chiron. I suppose that'd make it hard for me to express myself or be myself, right?

Is it bothering you that much? How old are you?

It's annoying seeing others socializing and wondering, "Why can't I do that?" But I've been like this all my life, so it doesn't bother me as much as it did years ago. I've come to accept it. I am just 15 years old.

[hermetic]

hey, I completely forgot I meant to reply here...

Do NOT accept it, you're just 15 yo, as you say. When you say 'all my life' , sure, that sounds really long, but in fact, it is not, escpecially you are just about to change - that's called adolescence. Growing up is most prominent exactly in late teens, and trust me, there were so many of us very similar, who thought we were eternally doomed in life when being sent to the school psychologist for not talking at 12, or began crying when someone talked to you at 15, fast forward to age 19 when you think no one will ever kiss you and it's just the way things are, and you 'accept' it :p

and when you're 25 you look back at all this and are amazed how all things just fell into place, and comes young one who reminds you of your youth hell and you just want to tell him - it will all be ok ;)
seriously, I was what I thought extremely shy, from since I knew of myself right up to my early twenties. It changes, believe me. One close friend actually broke out of her shell at 24. You gain confidence as you age. Surely, you may never be loud and extrovert as some, but when you get to know yourself to some extent you gain security in your own abilities, and are no longer terrified of speaking out.

[Claire19]

Hello there Neptune right on the ascendant will make one rather reclusive and feel invisible or wishing to be so. It gives a vague sense of self and you need to put up barriers to avoid taking on others vibrations and feeling them as yours. If you put up a psychic shield and say to yourself that you are safe and receive only positive energies then this will help you in the wider world. Say it over and over until you believe it. Your chart ruler Capricorn with Saturn in 1st also adds to the picture of reserve. With Uranus there you felt different and out of step with others. Can be foot problems as well as the ankle and calf area. Sudden events happening in childhood which caused disruptions. I feel that your father or the authority figures in your life are rather controlling and repressive and this adds to it.

THis may change somewhat as you get older but you will always be rather reserved. This adds mystery to your persona and others will never quite work out who you are.

[Claire19]

I use to think that Uranus in my rising sign is what made me sort of shy. But with Leo as a rising sign and being Leo it was pretty difficult to hide all of that Sun, ha! When I was young I was pretty shy, but now nearing 50 I get up and sing kerioke and usually take the lead or am voted to take the lead. (It's just how I roll, ha!) V/r LionKing

Uranus is not a shy influence. HOwever it can make one feel out of place and different. THere can be disruptions in the early days and erratic conditions which may make one feel sort of powerless and uncertain. I think your Leo rising sign has kicked in well and truly and some say that we grow more into our ascendants as we mature. What aspects do you have to your sun and there must be transits now that are opening up for you. I believe that even the most crippling shyness can be overcome and I know as I have done it. Most people are usually too busy worrying about how they look and sound to care much about how you are. It is an extreme form of self consciousness.

[Natasha]

Neptune Ascendant - (very apt name) could be due to your Neptune Ascentant - with Neptune on the Ascendant we could feel there are leaky boundaries between ourselves & the world.
Particularly with something like a cap ascendant which would like to have some control over their experiance in the world.
Neptune Ascendant may feel any reaction could lead to us leaking out what we want to hold to ourselves and also somehow taking on stuff from the world which we dont want to take on
As time goes on you will learn to access your sun (they say we go towards our sun and I feel it is so) to assist you with your personal interactions.
You will integrate the ego identity of your sun to positively support your moon (which we do as the moon they say is only 2yo) and also we go towards managing our ascendent so it works for our sun.
Now your questioning it at 15 I suspect your going to be consciously & unconsciously working towards this from now.

Your moon in Sag in the 11th in a grand trine has a fantastic potential to be a great fun socializer
Your Taurus Sun in the IC would like to have its private times but is a strong determined resourceful sun which others will see as an inner strength (opposite the MC)

[Jeremy]

I haven't read the other responses, so you'll have to forgive me if I am duplicating anything that is already said here. Three things come to mind.
1) Neptune rising. This dissolves the structured sense of self, and probably affects the impression you make on others, of course it makes you very sensitive, even in Capricorn. Saturn in the first will also make you somewhat reserved and you may pick up easily on others depressed states of mind too.
2) The grand trine from Mo/Ve/Ma. People always consider a grand trine to be a great asset, and it is when you push it, but a trine is only a trine if you use it. All aspects are squares is one of the best insights into astrology I ever read (but I don't remember who saud it, maybe Noel Tyl or Bill Tierney). A grand trine can make us self-sufficient in the planets and houses denoted, thus we can manage without other people. If you are comfortable operating in this closed and easy construct then you may simply withdraw from contact because you are self-sufficient. The trick, like EJ said (I know I said I didn't read any other comments bu actually I always read EJ's comments :)) is to make yourself step outside of the comfort-zone (and a grand trine is exactly that: a comfort zone) and you will realise just what a great gift you have for getting along with people.
3) Sun on the 4th. You're a person that shines in a private, family-oriented setting.

Now getting away from the astrology, I am also a person who is very private by nature. I can get along with others easily (I have Jupiter in Leo in the 11th, so actually I can show off with the best of them, especially after a couple of glasses of wine) but I am much more comfortable in a quiet, contemplative setting just attending to my interests. It's not so bad being a private person, modern life makes way too big a deal about shallow sociability, meaningless acquaintances and trophy-friendships. Just look at Facebook.

[smilingsteph]

I dont think that sun on the IC makes one shy per say....I think that it makes (what Jeremy said) one who retires within the home and enjoys/shines alone with family.
Again like Jeremy said, one can be around others and not be shy, but if one prefers to be alone in private well then that is okay too.
Again looking at your age, I think back to when I was that age, wont tell you all when, but I felt the pressure to have lots of friends and be popular...however I did hang out with the cool crowds and to be honest they were mean to others and my aquarian nature could not take it. I found one friend and that was all I needed! I also enjoyed being alone, reading, studying. In fact even going to school was so difficult because I wanted to be at home, CRAZY! I skipped school many times.
I will say however to try your hardest to involve yourself in groups and clubs in school, you might really get out there and enjoy yourself. Even if your chart says one thing, you can break the ties of it, it may be harder, but to really enjoy this part of your life is important!
I always say when I am about to do something either embarassing or something I really dont want to do, "will they remember what I did in ten years? Will this be a good memory for me to have for later and can this be a positive thing for me?" If they are yes, then I say go for it!
You are just finding yourself right now, I am very sure that others your age feel the exact same way!!!! Honest!
For all of us Sun on the IC out there, make us proud and go out and have some fun, shyness aside!!!!!!!

[smilingsteph]

To reply again, sorry
Your 11th house is in Sag.
These natives enjoy famous and optimistic friends who inspire Them to greater accomplishments. They usually have numerous friends. They join many large organizations which help them to expand personally.
From astrologyweekly.

See, you will usually have numerous friends, and like my mom always said
"to have one good friend in this life is rare and if you have even one you are a rich person indeed"

[Raindrops]

My friend had uranus on the Ascendant. They always said they imagined themselves living alone when they were older. They got married, had kids, but in the end, they moved away where they could be alone --following their ambitions.

[AquaScorpio]

I was extremely shy AND anti-social, probably up til high school? Then that changed very rapidly. In my opinion, I was always afraid to socialize because I felt like everyone was judging me, trying to find things wrong with me etc. But if you think about this, it's a pretty selfish way to be, because in reality, the world doesn't revolve around me, people have alot more going through thier head than me. So I got over it, and once I did, became one of the most social people ever, and today I'm one of the most outgoing people ever, and it's not hard for me to make friends at all. I think it's just hard to get over that first bump (or maybe in this case hill) but once you do, it's liberating :)

[Julie]

I am also very shy, and wary of people. I have Saturn on the the ascendant opposing my 7th house Sun. The 7th house can be how you relate to the public and "others" in general and my extreme lack of self confidence has affected how I interact with others. I also have Pisces planets which are connected to Neptune as well, so extreme sensitivity and vulnerability has caused me to want to keep away from others and through my Saturn on Asc I isolate myself at times, and I have a lot of self defensive tactics to keep people away. Sometimes I wish I could be more social and feel I lack social skills, and I find it difficult to talk about general chit chat, my interests are too different, and I hide a lot of myself and the things I am interested in from people. I find it hard when people say go out there and mix with people be confident etc., and sometimes saying this doesn't help me it makes me feel worse, like there is something wrong with me, sometimes I am happy being by myself. But I will say that when I am working and travelling about more my confidence improves and when I keep away from people my confidence goes down again (I need to balance my life more). I have been mostly home bound since I had my child but he is getting a bit older now and I am hoping to go out in the world again and work it may coincide with a house move (Uranus transiting over my Moon/Mercury conjunction) I may suddenly start work when Uranus hits my Mercury again). I miss my old self when I was working. I have become a lot more withdrawn so hopefully the change on the horizon is a good thing for me, I won't feel so frustrated (Sun-Saturn) if I apply my Saturn in Virgo to work maybe. I get so frustrated doing boring routines though. If anything will get me out of the house (literally a house move :D )Uranus transiting my Moon/Mercury will. I do get stuck and a bit too comfortable in clinging to my old self defeating patterns, even if I am feeling really unhappy about it. I do get bouts of depression because I know I am not living my life to it's full potential.

[psyrens_aurora]

It's annoying seeing others socializing and wondering, "Why can't I do that?" But I've been like this all my life, so it doesn't bother me as much as it did years ago. I've come to accept it. I am just 15 years old.


I'm not sure what 15 year olds do, but I am quite certain that your mind, being interested in Astrology and Poetry and other "enlightened" concepts, would make you more mature than others your age.. Especially given the Capricorn ascendant. This doesn't make you insensitive or unwanting of the pleasures and fun of youth--it makes you aware of it, and aware of the loss of it, because Capricorn is the sign of responsibility.

I have read that Capricorn "grows younger" and I believe the psychic premonitions of people on this board saying you have a potential for fun times in the future... times when you WILL find friends. An 11th house moon indicates that you will have friends, perhaps even eccentric women friends who are interested in Astrology also?

There is nothing wrong with forming friendly feelings for people in whatever walk of life they are, as long as they are not dangerous.

If you're sad about it, then it's important to find a way to process these emotions and one of the best things you can do, as a person with chiron square sun, is to boost your self-appraisal and no matter how hurt you have been that you have self-confidence in yourself.

As a Saturnine individual, especially with the potential of Uranus and Neptune on the Ascendant, you can take Responsibility and be understanding and compassionate of others who might not be as understanding and compassionate as you are. You will only stunt your own growth if you change who you are to fit into someone else's perception of "acceptible". You are approved of by yourself, made by you, and if you are too shy to bring that out to people, that's okay!

With Pluto in the 10th, remember Scorpio is the sign of secrecy. Sometimes your key to success will be wisely secretive.

The part that might trip you up is the feelings that no one accepts you or loves you for who you are. That's not true. The truth is, people love you and their misperceptions of what is "popular/unpopular" "good/bad" can interfere with their ability to feel and express their love.

This is a chance to take Responsibility for what you Know.

It is not the time to take 2nd seat to a world that is in the dark about many things.

YOU WILL FIND THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN THE THINGS YOU ARE INTERESTED IN.

but developing (growing) traits that you haven't explored yet will help you so much. Moon in Sagittarius loves to learn knew things. Take advantage of this gift. Your sun in Taurus conj IC might be conflicting, but you have to override this. Just as Starlink said!

No matter how shy you are, and how much it hurts to smile at someone and say hello, you are lucky to have a Sagittarian moon in 11th which has a good friendly energy. People respond to this.

There are people on this board who you connect with, and in time, that will happen in real life. But school is often not the place people with interests in Astrology and Metaphysical things can find compadres. It is a rare gift, and takes a very mature person to understand. School is the place of youth, and discipline, not of freethinking, spiritualized evolutionary thoughts.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE!

[NeptuneAscendant]

Thanks for the comments, everyone.

Hermetic: Thanks for the advice! Haha, I'll try to remember that. :)

Claire19: I can identify with almost everything you said. Except that I don't think I have a weak sense of self. I know who I am. My mom was never controlling or repressive and my dad was never around during my childhood (this is what my mom tells me). I cannot remember much from childhood, sometimes I wonder if it's blocked out or if I don't have a good memory or if most people just don't remember much from childhood! I don't see how it's possible, though; I was five years old only ten years ago!

Natasha: I think maybe my Capricorn Asc. is restricting some aspects of my personality to be shown. Maybe I just need to learn to loosen up and the other, less inhibited parts of my chart shine through.

Jeremy: You hit the nail on the head, if you ask me.

SmilingSteph: That's not who I am; I've never desired to be popular. I've wanted to be accepted, sure, who doesn't want to be accepted? But I've always been individualistic and highly non-conformist. I suppose that's Uranus' doing. Also, maybe I will have numerous friends one day in life. Only time will tell, right?

Raindrops: I have always imagined myself living alone too. In the past, I often said it'd be nice to live on an island all alone with no human contact.

AquaScorpio: Yup, I suppose that is rather selfish. I have Sun in the Fourth and I've read that could mean life is an uphill struggle, so you're probably right; I just need to get over that first hill.

(will respond to others later, don't have the time now)

[Claire19]

I was extremely shy AND anti-social, probably up til high school? Then that changed very rapidly. In my opinion, I was always afraid to socialize because I felt like everyone was judging me, trying to find things wrong with me etc. But if you think about this, it's a pretty selfish way to be, because in reality, the world doesn't revolve around me, people have alot more going through thier head than me. So I got over it, and once I did, became one of the most social people ever, and today I'm one of the most outgoing people ever, and it's not hard for me to make friends at all. I think it's just hard to get over that first bump (or maybe in this case hill) but once you do, it's liberating :)

I agree that shyness is an extreme form of self awareness and self centredness. As you say most people are too busy worrying about the impression they make on others and we are not the centre of the universe after all. I think you have just matured and you may have had a heavy transit at the time of your shyness.

[Claire19]

Thank you all for your input! What about that exact Sun Square Chiron. I suppose that'd make it hard for me to express myself or be myself, right?



It's annoying seeing others socializing and wondering, "Why can't I do that?" But I've been like this all my life, so it doesn't bother me as much as it did years ago. I've come to accept it. I am just 15 years old.

I think it is brilliant that you have so much self acceptance at 15. We are not all meant to be the same and CHiron is the area of the wounded healer as far as I can tell although I dont give much weight to it. So in the 7th partnerships, and all one to one relations have a wounded quality which has to be managed but you can then give counsel to others with their wounds as you understand it. Neptune on ascendant can give shyness and Capricorn is a reserved sign.