Exploring Sita's Natal Chart

[Arian Maverick]

This new thread is to continue a discussion started on the Yod of God Board (http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=885&start=45) that otherwise may have gone off-topic.

Sita asked:

So this is not a yod with pluto and neptune that is kicking the **** out of my venus? Thought I had the answer as to why I feel so alternatingly destroyed and destructive in love.

But you think there's a yod-like focus toward my moon and jupiter conjunction in the fifth? Hmmm. Focusing on that 5th house.... is that the where all my latent creative talents are dwindling at the expense of uncontrollable emotionalism and overwhelming partnerships?
I looked around the net, but everyone seems to write that a yod is between a sextile not a square. So I don't know. Today I can't figure a darned thing out.

So the question is this--are there any indicators in Sita's chart that may indicate her current dilemma?

http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/545/sitaraallaspects7jc.png (http://imageshack.us)

Aquarian Maverick

[Summery Joy]

There are many indicators of trouble in love and romance in this chart all working together.

Venus' functions are suffering the effects of a boomarang yod, with Venus opposite Uranus - Things can go crazy.

The Moon in the 5th house - gives matters of romance extra importance

Jupiter in the 5th house - exaggerating. Either a lot of romance of nothing at all. Either so many suiters or a long time with no-one showing interest.

Saturn Rx in the 7th house - recurring problems in committed relationships.

These are just a few quick notes. I will come back to this thread soon.

Hang in there, sita. Your Saturn return will fix many problems.

[Arian Maverick]

Venus' functions are suffering the effects of a boomarang yod, with Venus opposite Uranus - Things can go crazy.

Ah, so it IS a boomerang yod after all...I was going crazy trying to figure that out with the Astrodienst chart :roll:

Aquarian Maverick

[sita]

It's weird how bad news feels like good news.

Aquarian Maverick, you rascal, I love you!! I would not have had the balls to open this thread for myself , but it's really what I need. Thank you. And everyone else on this forum, I am blown away to realize how much people actually care here.

I've been pulling this poisoned boomerang out of my chest for all of my teen/adult life, but it always seems to come back to hack me no matter how hard I try, so I am clearly missing something big (a heart? no, that's not it really, but that is what it looks/feels like.)
I just read that a boomerang yod creates more stress and tension in that area than a regular yod, but I'm not sure how to resolve these energies. All those transpersonals are totally destrying me.... for what cause, I have yet to assemble.

Where do I start?

[Arian Maverick]

Aquarian Maverick, you rascal, I love you!! I would not have had the balls to open this thread for myself , but it's really what I need. Thank you. And everyone else on this forum, I am blown away to realize how much people actually care here.

If there is one thing an Aries native such as myself cannot recognize, it's hesitancy. Our essence, our sense of being, is imbued with the very light of life itself! This is why I know you possess this inner-ballsiness, having both your Sun and Mercury in Aries...you just may have to take some time away from stressful relationships (of any kind) to find it :wink:

Where do I start?

Ah, that's the million dollar question! I will not feign expertise in the arena of love, but the beginning is always a good place to start :wink:

No, I do not mean for you disect what went amiss in relationships past, or even ponder over why things turned out the way they did. Instead...claim your power! Perhaps you have involved yourself in outside relationships for so long that you have forgotten to nurture the most important relationship of all...the one you have with yourself!

It is apparant from your posts that your heart has been, if not broken (your heart is stronger than you know), than at least severely wounded...so you must give yourself permission to heal. You are probably staring at your computer screen thinking that I am completely out of my mind--and perhaps I am--but speaking from years of experience with self-induced pain, let me ask you this--do you believe that you deserve forgiveness? I am not saying that you have done anything wrong, for I know very little of your life's situation...but your answer to this question is key. If you believe that you can be forgiven for whatever faults you may believe you possess, than you must also believe that you can be loved, for both are intimately related. Once you accept this as truth--not only in your mind, but in your heart as well--than you will have the ability to attract a more suitable partner, one who will resonate with your newly hightened frequencies. One of the most basic laws in the universe is like attracts like...most of our experience on this planet is an illusion, a self-created illusion; we create our own reality in perfect accordance to our own expectations and beliefs!

So, do you believe that you can be healed--not just be healed but actually have the power to heal yourself? This is what everything ultimately comes down to!

Aquarian Maverick

P.S. Sorry for my little rant there...I have no idea what inspired me to type this, but since I feel that I have been guided by Spirit in some way, this post will remain. Like Eliniah says, take what fits and ditch the rest! :D

[sita]

Took what you said to heart about forgiveness, and found much but, of course am still overwhelmed with the enormity of changes that need to take place so I don't have to CONTINUE forgiving myself for the rest of my life and beyond..

Last night I meditated for a while on isolating a focal point of purpose and I found one. The core issues of my soul's development involve balancing the square between saturn and uranus, using the BALANCING mid-point of LIbra 5 degrees, which is my North Node. This Aries sun is a locomotive force, not an end unto itself, which is the mistake I've been making lately for lack of better routes.

I had been using my Aries Sun for its own or Uranus' end, where I continued to fall directly into my South Node of unbridled, and blindly passionate rebellion, with the troops at my back just waiting for me to throw the battle cry and lead the revolution. I'd been here for a while, just squaring mars, hating saturn, and building tension, which of course led to inappropiriate eruptions in the areas of love and relationships. Hence the heart troubles.

In light of this new discovery, things start to make sense. I have been using my sun at cross purposes to my mission, using it to fuel an unstable uranus, which is ready to smash down anything, including my venus, which it does (note the yod) and lands me directly on saturns cold lap for yet another spanking. But the seventh house is ruled by Venus, you say???? And where is my Venus? In bed with Chiron in Taurus? And where is my North Node, at 5 degrees Libra, smack in between the Saturn and Uranus? I think I just found the key.

I've mentioned somewhere on this forum issues with violence between me (uranus) and my dad (saturn) as a teenager and I now see a much bigger picture. When I was a rebellious high-schooler, I can remember writing across one of my notebooks in bold graffiti style writing: CASTRATE YOUR DICTATOR: This is an obvious Uranian gruidge against father Saturn coming through me if I've ever seen one. In this cosmic family circus, I've also got a super-nurturing lunar mother (gemini 28, conjunct jupiter 0 cancer which is my real mom's chart: she's a gemini with her moon in cancer!! ) but as you can see from the angles, her job is more to naturally nurture battle wounds than anything else. So I guess this might be where I should look for healing and sustenance during this period as I try to get back to a place where Venus can live.

I just realized I'm an amnesiatic Venus who suffered an Aries-inflicted head injury, which I actually experienced a few years ago that set me back in ALL areas. I literally smashed myself to cognitive bits, head first, which asked me to rethink a slower course, if only I could manage to hang in there and not black out. I stayed conscious in the accident, but barely. Since my head injury, life has been a dreamy and terrifying struggle in remebering who I am, how to survive here on earth, and a ceaseless search for someone/anyone/something who can help me remember who I am without being afraid of the fact that I am obviously bleeding everywhere.

My current boyfriend, Thai, seems to be this Chiron partner working as a strong liason between Saturn and Uranus. He's an artist and even paints these giant magnifficent landscapes of the view of Saturn from some dark and mysterious little planet that has all these pyramid-like temples on it and these floating sparkly little stars :!: He is who he needs to be. I found him because I know I needed the security while I attempted to regain structure, but I simultaneously hate him for the structure he represents, because I'm walking around the trauma ward thinking I'm my Aries South No-de. But yet, I need him to remind me to turn the oven off when I'm done cooking cause I'm so far in the ethers of my right-brain intuition that I can't even process logical information, which is why I consistently ask for help with chart interpretations on this forum.

I need to get back to the center of my brain because I've become a great intuitive who is otherwise in personal oblivion. :oops:

What the Sabain has to say of my North Node and Chiron are actuallly quite encouraging: North Node at Libra 5:

185__(5°)
INSPIRED DISCIPLES LISTEN TO THE WORDS OF THEIR TEACHER Knowledge and experience put to the test. Greatness calling its own to itself. Ordered seeking. Distrust of appearances.
___*When positive, the degree is a genius for understanding and calling out the underlying realizations by which human character comes to know itself at its best, and when negative, fatuous pride in the self's acumen and subtle or underhanded attempts to dominate everyone.

And my Chiron to take me there at 4-5 Taurus:

34__(4°)
THE RAINBOW'S POT OF GOLD GLOWS AMIDST THE SPARKLING RAIN Unlimited resources. Overflowing sense of power. Prodigality of spiritual love showered upon seekers for the highest.
___*When positive, the degree is an inner assurance which enables man to hold steady in every course of his choosing, and when negative, a loss of all opportunity through futile expectation and an unintelligent wandering off in the quests of pure fancy.

35__(5°)
A YOUNG WIDOW, TRANSFIGURED BY GRIEF, KNEELS AT A GRAVE Revelation of meaning behind fleeting appearances. Restless quest for understanding. Birth from illusion into reality.
___*When positive, the degree is man's genius for personal aplomb or an effective transcendence of disappointment and delay in an ever-spiraling self-discovery, and when negative, surrender to frustration or descentto ineptitude.


I hope I didn't monopolize this thread, but I felt I had to own up to a personal dissection since the thread got opened for me I hope the discussion doesn't die here, but I don't know where to steer it. ... anyone????

Sita

[Kite]

I've mentioned somewhere on this forum issues with violence between me (uranus) and my dad (saturn) as a teenager and I now see a much bigger picture. When I was a rebellious high-schooler, I can remember writing across one of my notebooks in bold graffiti style writing: CASTRATE YOUR DICTATOR: This is an obvious Uranian gruidge against father Saturn coming through me if I've ever seen one.

Hi Sita - this particular statement came out front and center to me and I believe within in it lies the key to your growth.

As you know, I've been experimenting with the Whole House System in my readings lately. When I ook at your chart from that perspective I get Mars in a very strong position on your 7th house cusp, square Chiron and in mutual reception with your Sun conjunt Mercury in the 3rd house. This certainly speaks to the violent wounding you received from your father. Age 13-14 is when Chiron made it's first square to itself so I'm going to guess that this was an intense emotional period related to these issues. Age 19-20 is probably when you became aware of these issues in a different way..perhaps creating a relationship that reinacted the emotional drama.

You just entered the period of your upper square to Chiron which along with your Saturn return is brought you to feeling the crisis you've been articulating. Your chakras are being activated so you have to opportunity to unblock and recenter yourself in a much more structured way. Part of the work you need to do is to confront the pain experienced with your father and find ways to own it, forgive it, integrate it and heal it. You may not be able to get that all done in this time period but the more you can do, the easier it will be for you later on to find your wholeness as a female/male human, fully alive and full of compassion.

Kite

[sita]

Kite,
I am wondering what the whole of my chart looks like to you when you view it with a whole house system? Is there any information that you might be able to copy and post here that would help me view it from a whole house perspective? Or do you know of any programs I could download where I could create the chart myself? Having mars in the seventh house makes ENORMOUS sense to my life and the struggle it has been to live it. Today, I am so very in touch with my fragile wounded inner child that I've been neglecting by pretending I just don't have by ultimately denying my self as I relate to others. In always being agreeable to others and serving their needs and wants and energy, somehow I disappeared from even my own view, unless I'm raging. Getting back to myself feels like trying to stand up on a flimsy airraft that's being tossed in a turbulent lake.... impossible to balance and utterly nauseating to try, but flailing is useless cause I have absolutely nothing to hold on to.

(I hope I'm not being forum-ly inappropriate by expressing these things. Please excuse me if I'm stepping across the lines of appropriate expression here.)

Sun conjunt Mercury in the 3rd house would make excellent sense as well, since my initial heart wound of rejection and self-imposed isolation occurred when my brother was born at age five. I felt so unneeded by my family when this event occurred, and withdrew from all family and genuine relations to play "war" with my next door neighbors (who are aries and leos born to a woman hating saturnine father... ironic? no). It was at this point I turned from a happy venusian flirt to a sad and lonely tomboy warrior, I guess cutting myself off from my vulnerable feminine and acting out in violence with the boys in the 'hood. My refusal to be consoled at this age devastated my dad, and triggered his own deep rejection issues as well, which started such a severe father-daugher a rift I guess only violence could heal (in the twisted way it tries to).

This upper square to Chiron along with my Saturn return is idefinately the crisis I feel. I'm glad you mentioned that I "may not be able to get that all done in this time period" because that thought takes away a bit of the martian all-or-nothing stress I put on myself.

Thank you for your guidance and for looking at my chart.

Sita

[Kite]

Here you go Sita
http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/3333/sita1zh.th.jpg (http://img395.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sita1zh.jpg)

[Kite]

Maybe this looks better..haven't quite figured this out yet

http://www.publicupload.com/files/sita1zh.jpg (http://www.publicupload.com)

[Lapis]

sita,

Your plate is full too now isn't it? I mentioned elsewhere that I think so much of what you're now feeling is your approaching Saturn Return. SATURN return......in the 7th house (Libra's house- which is oppostite Aries blah blah blah.) And it's in Leo the 'King' which rules the Heart and is opposing your 1st house Aquarius more blah blah blah. Reality will be far more clear and grounded after Saturn Return is finished. Use this transit as best as you can to transform and grow.

Aries/Libra polarity is tuff in my opinion and I say this having 4 planets in Libra myself. Self and All Others and this includes non-physical 'Others'. I'm just going to throw out a couple of things that jump out at me OK.

That Aries Mercury in opposition to Pluto in Libra. And the other one is that Taurus Venus in opposition to Uranus in Scorpio. Tantra comes to mind. You said somewhere that the transpersonals are kickin' your butt or something close to this. It looks like that's whats happening now alright! Saturn Return will just keep applying heavy-duty pressure with this whole issue I think.

I've always wondered about what to me are obviously "old souls" with a bunch of Aries in this life. (Oh, and lets not miss your Moon at 28 Gemini which is in opposition to the Galactic Center at 26-27 Sagittarius in your 11th and Pluto is transiting this spot now, opposing your Moon.) I'd suggest always trying to incorporate all that Libra polarity with all your Aries energy. This alone I think will make these transpersonal planets easier to deal with. Velvet gloves instead of your Aries forehead!

It seems like you're learning about being an individual self (the Aries stuff) while at the same time dealing with a sense of being at odds with some of the 'Gods' (Pluto and Uranus mainly). Perspective, it's all you really. There's some karma with the oppositions I'd guess and by that I don't mean 'bad'! Just finishing up some old issues now. And because this is playing out through Aries/Libra and Taurus/Scorpio you might look at these archetypal energies just by themselves too. Aries/Mars and Tarus/Venus the great Warrior and the Earthy Goddess! Then at the other end are the transpersonals (Pluto and Uranus) in Libra and Scorpio. Balance/Harmony (Libra) and all level Transformations and Rebirths (Scorpio).