swingkid
01-17-2008, 07:11 PM
I saw this in the latest issue of Mountain Astrologer.. Funny stuff.
by Sir Henry de Tunahuna
Astrophysicists have now established a new grouping and the appropriate names, for the twelve elementary particles in nature. The new grouping has four main categories:
- Photons: particles of "light" (highly visible)
- Electrons: particles of "electricity" (made evident by their broadcasts or noise)
- Magnetons: particles of "magnetism" (sensed rather than seen or heard)
- Gravitons: particles of "gravity" (evidenced by the material world)
Each of these, in turn, has three types (subgroups). So, there are three types of photons, three types of magnetons, etc., for a total of twelve actual fundamental particles, as described below:
Photons:
-Aron: The most visible particle of the Photon family. Likes to have other particles follow its path, which it lights up brightly. Can be annihilated (along with its followers) if it runs into a wal of Gravitons.
-Leon: The largest of the Photons. Views all other particles as peons. Prefers not to move but to light itself up, to be more visible to other particles. Sometimes, a humongous number of Leons gather together, tired of being ignored, and create a "star" like the Sun that, if also ignored, annihilates itself as a supernova.
-Sagon: An endlessly wandering Photon, whose direction is easily changed by encounters with other particles. Has a good sense of what is to the left and right (always looking for new possibilities) but not what is in front or behind, so tends to get damaged by running into other particles - or annihilated by being run over from behind.
Electrons:
-Gemon: A very fast Electron particle, shaped like a toothpick, unique in that it goes both forward and backward at the same time, often shifting directions. Annoys other particles by its constant noise. Can be essentially annihilated by a Pison, which simply surrounds it like a soft pillow, trapping the noise.
-Libron: The "dancing" Electron, always in motion from one side to another. Does not change direction unless there is enough information (from other particles, except Magnetons, which it finds annoying) about the alternate path. Can self-annihilate through exhaustion.
-Aquark: The largest and loudest Electron particle (think "bark"), generally unaffected by other particles, rarely changing direction. Is annihilated when it eventually runs into a Scorpion, which simply absorbs it, emitting a small "burpon," a subparticle of the Graviton family.
Magnetons:
-Cancon: A restless Mageton particle, always trying to be prefectly round, whose path is the ever-changing curvature of space. Would like to stop and rest but is unable to, since no place seems to be quite right. Eventually finds its way into human mouths, where it causes Canker sores as a result of its self-annihilation.
-Scorpon: The strongest and most intense member of the Magneton family. Does not move at all but sits, and takes the shape of a space-time "bowl." Sends out strong magnetic waves, hoping to attract (primarily) Gravitons and to repel (primarily) Electrons. Is annihilated if bowl cracks, which can be caused by a bombardment of Gemons.
-Pison: A very nebulous Magneton, of a shape and direction influenced by other nearby particles. The Pison is the only particle that will assist any other particle in its path, which leads to particle-wars (and annihilations) because they all want the Pison to be their own companion. As far as has been determined, a Pison cannot be annihilated, perhaps because it si only an illusion.
Gravitons:
-Tauron: A graviton particle of ever-increasing mass and protuberances, gained by gathering other particles that come close. Is annihilated if it tries to grab hold of a Leon, which explodes.
-Virgon: The fastest of the Gravitons, a "catalyst" for organizing and reorganizing other particles of Gravitons and Electrons in an attempt to create some order from the chaos of these particles. Is eventually annihilated when it becomes overwhelmed by the imperfection of other particles.
-Capron: The most persistent Graviton, the "particle-glue," the one particle that makes it possible for the various types of particles to form things like planets, plantes, pants, and people. Is annihilated by particles that have become unhappy about how long they've been glued together.
by Sir Henry de Tunahuna
Astrophysicists have now established a new grouping and the appropriate names, for the twelve elementary particles in nature. The new grouping has four main categories:
- Photons: particles of "light" (highly visible)
- Electrons: particles of "electricity" (made evident by their broadcasts or noise)
- Magnetons: particles of "magnetism" (sensed rather than seen or heard)
- Gravitons: particles of "gravity" (evidenced by the material world)
Each of these, in turn, has three types (subgroups). So, there are three types of photons, three types of magnetons, etc., for a total of twelve actual fundamental particles, as described below:
Photons:
-Aron: The most visible particle of the Photon family. Likes to have other particles follow its path, which it lights up brightly. Can be annihilated (along with its followers) if it runs into a wal of Gravitons.
-Leon: The largest of the Photons. Views all other particles as peons. Prefers not to move but to light itself up, to be more visible to other particles. Sometimes, a humongous number of Leons gather together, tired of being ignored, and create a "star" like the Sun that, if also ignored, annihilates itself as a supernova.
-Sagon: An endlessly wandering Photon, whose direction is easily changed by encounters with other particles. Has a good sense of what is to the left and right (always looking for new possibilities) but not what is in front or behind, so tends to get damaged by running into other particles - or annihilated by being run over from behind.
Electrons:
-Gemon: A very fast Electron particle, shaped like a toothpick, unique in that it goes both forward and backward at the same time, often shifting directions. Annoys other particles by its constant noise. Can be essentially annihilated by a Pison, which simply surrounds it like a soft pillow, trapping the noise.
-Libron: The "dancing" Electron, always in motion from one side to another. Does not change direction unless there is enough information (from other particles, except Magnetons, which it finds annoying) about the alternate path. Can self-annihilate through exhaustion.
-Aquark: The largest and loudest Electron particle (think "bark"), generally unaffected by other particles, rarely changing direction. Is annihilated when it eventually runs into a Scorpion, which simply absorbs it, emitting a small "burpon," a subparticle of the Graviton family.
Magnetons:
-Cancon: A restless Mageton particle, always trying to be prefectly round, whose path is the ever-changing curvature of space. Would like to stop and rest but is unable to, since no place seems to be quite right. Eventually finds its way into human mouths, where it causes Canker sores as a result of its self-annihilation.
-Scorpon: The strongest and most intense member of the Magneton family. Does not move at all but sits, and takes the shape of a space-time "bowl." Sends out strong magnetic waves, hoping to attract (primarily) Gravitons and to repel (primarily) Electrons. Is annihilated if bowl cracks, which can be caused by a bombardment of Gemons.
-Pison: A very nebulous Magneton, of a shape and direction influenced by other nearby particles. The Pison is the only particle that will assist any other particle in its path, which leads to particle-wars (and annihilations) because they all want the Pison to be their own companion. As far as has been determined, a Pison cannot be annihilated, perhaps because it si only an illusion.
Gravitons:
-Tauron: A graviton particle of ever-increasing mass and protuberances, gained by gathering other particles that come close. Is annihilated if it tries to grab hold of a Leon, which explodes.
-Virgon: The fastest of the Gravitons, a "catalyst" for organizing and reorganizing other particles of Gravitons and Electrons in an attempt to create some order from the chaos of these particles. Is eventually annihilated when it becomes overwhelmed by the imperfection of other particles.
-Capron: The most persistent Graviton, the "particle-glue," the one particle that makes it possible for the various types of particles to form things like planets, plantes, pants, and people. Is annihilated by particles that have become unhappy about how long they've been glued together.