aquarimoon
11-15-2007, 08:25 AM
Today was quite an odd day. I enjoy my work, more so the company of people and over the last year I have found it comforting and healing to go to work as my personal life was hitting rock bottom.
However I have noticed that the last month or so has been hard for me to get along with the people around me. I am not my usual self. The last few days have been testing. I had a run in with a co-worker who I get along fabulously with and we work well together however I noticed he lashed out at me a few times for something small. He doesnt do this to anyone else although they push his buttons much more. I feel 'victimised' somehow and get angry inside and can shut down inside. He feels too comfortable with me or something as he can point his finger and literally have a go at me for absolutely nothing I did.
This morning the run in was bad and he snapped at me, people heard and we got called in the office by my boss as she heard it. I was shocked and embarrassed and he basically was saying that he didnt like my "attitude" that I was taking it out of him if I had a bad day. He told me he said good morning to me and that I ignored him so when I asked him a work question later on he jumped down my throat!! I didnt know.
I was very upset at this. My boss said resolve the situation. I was pressured at work but he only seems to snap at me. Its hard to as I have to work with him.
I do feel that I get the short end of the deal. I get admonished for things others do or end up cleaning their mess. Its always me and I cant stand it. Must be the Neptune and the victimisation coming through.
Saturn is also transiting now and I feel heavy hearted totally. It has been emotional at work. I dont like to get my back up. I feel like I am sparring with my ex.The feelings of anger/shock/aversion have returned - but to work.Today I bawled my eyes out in my bosses office ( not bad for the aqua moon) and said I dont like NOT getting along its not my style. I also feel slighted when this co-worker snaps and its darn embarrassing. With me it seems that people feel that they have the liberty to have a go at me. There are so many others that do worse and yet they dont get verbally attacked like I do.
What is it in me that calls for this?
The thing is once this sort of things happens I just want to leave the place and vanish. I just cant handle the embarrassment. I dont know if my friendship with this co-worker ( Piscean - nothing romantic dont worry) will ever be the same again. He pulled me aside and apologised and he felt bad I could tell by his face. But I feel the taint.
Is this the Saturn transit? I just feel unlucky. Last week I cut my hair short after having long hair - its now bobbed. A bit drastic although I have short hair a few years ago, it seems that I am somehow changing and changing fast. I dont mind change but I am more sombre and serious now - not like the usual me. A few months ago I was light hearted & happy now it seems to have gone. I have also become reclusive.
Saturn must be transiting hard for me. I am also concerned about Dec 07, there are quite a few planetery changes on the horizon. A lot of past emotions have surfaced, those buried long ago are rearing its ugly head, I feel the abandoned/rejection/isolation all over again I can almost taste it.
I know Saturn is teacher but with Saturn in the 1st I have had to deal with the awkwardness and hard aspects of Saturn all my life. When will it work in harmony with me? It seems to be malefic in my case.:mad:
However I have noticed that the last month or so has been hard for me to get along with the people around me. I am not my usual self. The last few days have been testing. I had a run in with a co-worker who I get along fabulously with and we work well together however I noticed he lashed out at me a few times for something small. He doesnt do this to anyone else although they push his buttons much more. I feel 'victimised' somehow and get angry inside and can shut down inside. He feels too comfortable with me or something as he can point his finger and literally have a go at me for absolutely nothing I did.
This morning the run in was bad and he snapped at me, people heard and we got called in the office by my boss as she heard it. I was shocked and embarrassed and he basically was saying that he didnt like my "attitude" that I was taking it out of him if I had a bad day. He told me he said good morning to me and that I ignored him so when I asked him a work question later on he jumped down my throat!! I didnt know.
I was very upset at this. My boss said resolve the situation. I was pressured at work but he only seems to snap at me. Its hard to as I have to work with him.
I do feel that I get the short end of the deal. I get admonished for things others do or end up cleaning their mess. Its always me and I cant stand it. Must be the Neptune and the victimisation coming through.
Saturn is also transiting now and I feel heavy hearted totally. It has been emotional at work. I dont like to get my back up. I feel like I am sparring with my ex.The feelings of anger/shock/aversion have returned - but to work.Today I bawled my eyes out in my bosses office ( not bad for the aqua moon) and said I dont like NOT getting along its not my style. I also feel slighted when this co-worker snaps and its darn embarrassing. With me it seems that people feel that they have the liberty to have a go at me. There are so many others that do worse and yet they dont get verbally attacked like I do.
What is it in me that calls for this?
The thing is once this sort of things happens I just want to leave the place and vanish. I just cant handle the embarrassment. I dont know if my friendship with this co-worker ( Piscean - nothing romantic dont worry) will ever be the same again. He pulled me aside and apologised and he felt bad I could tell by his face. But I feel the taint.
Is this the Saturn transit? I just feel unlucky. Last week I cut my hair short after having long hair - its now bobbed. A bit drastic although I have short hair a few years ago, it seems that I am somehow changing and changing fast. I dont mind change but I am more sombre and serious now - not like the usual me. A few months ago I was light hearted & happy now it seems to have gone. I have also become reclusive.
Saturn must be transiting hard for me. I am also concerned about Dec 07, there are quite a few planetery changes on the horizon. A lot of past emotions have surfaced, those buried long ago are rearing its ugly head, I feel the abandoned/rejection/isolation all over again I can almost taste it.
I know Saturn is teacher but with Saturn in the 1st I have had to deal with the awkwardness and hard aspects of Saturn all my life. When will it work in harmony with me? It seems to be malefic in my case.:mad: