View Full Version : Can you help me please? Relationship Karma and a Grand Fire Trine?
11-14-2007, 11:52 PM
I am new here, so forgive me if I'm not in the right discussion thread. I am hoping someone can help me understand this man I'm seeing. I have been seeing him off and on for almost 18 months. I can't get him to pick it up to a "relationship" level where I see him on some kind of consistent basis. It's been weekends only, and then he drifts away for 3 months, where I will just get an occasional email from him. It just moved up to the level of "I would like to see you once a month" in September. There is always some reason why he has no time for me....work/travel, family obligations, etc. Basically he has no room in his life for me, no time for a real relationship. He's never actually said how he feels about me, it's more of what I feel when I am with him. And that is why I'm so confused, because when I am with him, it's so good. The physical chemistry is amazing, the intelligent conversations, the sense of humor, it just all clicks. It's all really comfortable and compatible. It seems so easy, like it fits. I feel this great sense of peace and belonging, like it's supposed to be. Like it's just meant to be. I guess that is why I am holding on to it. I won't see him for 3 months, and when I go back for a weekend, its like I've never been gone, it just fits like a glove. But then he's distant again. An email here and there, but no phone calls during that period. He keeps me at arm's length, at a distance. I want a life with this man, and I can't even get 2 weekends in a row. And I have cried over this man for 18 months, because he won't pick it up, but he won't let me go. And I haven't met anyone else that I feel this way about. I only know the basic stuff about our charts. I think a lot of this slow movement/ no movement is his Capricorn Moon, and his Saturn in Scorpio in the 5th house. His sun and venus are in my 7th house, so I guess that is why I feel more strongly than he does. The other thing I noticed is what looks like a triangle on the composite chart. Saturn/Sagitarius/3rd, Mars/Aries/7th, and Uranus/Leo/11th. Is that a Grand Fire Trine? Also, what are the indicators of karma, of our having a past life together? I think there is a Sun Trine Saturn in there somewhere, if that helps. He's got to be the Saturn, for all the pain this is causing me. Thanks for taking the time to help a newbie understand! :)
11-15-2007, 12:28 AM
I don't have a complete reply just yet because I want to analyze your birth data. Composite charts are helpful but if a significant relationship in not indicated in your chart or the 5th/7th house rulers or planets are not activated by transits/progressions then we can pinpoint other areas to focus on in your life and help to empower you. I say this because I know what you are going through although I have not gone through the same exact thing I'm getting over a heartbreak myself so my heart reaches out to you. I have reached the letting go part and if it is time then it is better to prepare yourself now than to give him another 18 months of your valuable time to waste. In the meantime you can still start fulfilling hobbies, basically concentrating on yourself even if there is no one that you want to pursue a romantic relationship with. Romance is wonderful with the right person but you can be lonelier in a unproductive, and erratic relationship than when you are by yourself. This analysis will be a priority for me and I will try to respond within a few hours to 24 hours at the most. Keep your head up believe me you will be victorious either way!
the composite poses some difficult dynamics.
with the square between venus and jupiter,there is spontaneous attraction and a magnetic social presence here.
the intimate,sparkling,mental and emotional connection is symbolizes by the venus/uranus midpoint conjunct the sun/mercury conjunction.
the mars/venus midpoint is square to the conjunction of the 2 midpoints, uranus/pluto,and sun/jupiter.this shows a very deep,affectionate and physical connection along with a optimistic ,happy social interactions.the problem is the uranus/pluto aspect which can turn this dynamic off or on for no rational reason.
the sun/moon midpoint is square to saturn,so this is part of his distance from the relationship.it allows him to be unattached to the attractive emotional connections your have with him
the mars/uranus midpoint is opposed to saturn which shows he need for independence and freedom from the relationship.
the saturn/pluto midpoint is square to mercury showing again a hesistancy on his part .
with a moon square to uranus,this relationship has wide mood swings.it seems that it is either very good or very bad[or in you case,non existant]
these unconscious aspects are hard to overcome and change
there is a venus trine neptune and sextile pluto.this gives a "healing" and nurturing quality to the love expressed in this relationship.i'm not sure that this aspect is strong enough to counter the alienating qualities of saturn and pluto but it seems your only option is to test this.find out if his feelings are the same to you by telling him you can't accept this partial relationship as it is and that you will be forced to cut the relation off if you emotional needs are not meet.harsh,but the alternative is to continue having your emotions torn apart on the repeated parting.
11-16-2007, 12:32 AM
Thanks for taking the time to look at our charts. It gives me greater understanding as to why things are progressing, or not progressing as I would like. I did have another question though. When I ran those charts on cafeastrology and cosmic-imperative, they both show a Sun Trine Saturn aspect, with him being the Saturn. Any idea as to why it doesn't show that aspect when I run the charts on astro.com? Doesn't Sun Trine Saturn mean something long term, something stable? Also, is the triangle in the composite chart a Grand Fire Trine between the 3rd/7th/11th houses? Doesn't that make things flow easier? I'm not real clear on Grand Trines though. I had someone look at my natal chart last year, and he told me I had a Grand Fire Trine, and a Grand Air Trine, and they formed the Star of David, that flowed over onto two separate kites. So I guess maybe it doesn't mean an easier flow of things, if you base it on my life up to this point. :)
Thanks again for taking your time to look at our charts. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
11-16-2007, 06:30 PM
In your synastry, there are very few interconnections of your personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars), indicating that there is little "personal" between you. There are a lot of easy connections to the other planets, so the non-personal things are fine. Most challenging is the Uranus (friends, also rebellion) square (energy needs to be combined with) Mars (being, also action) between you, indicating you can suddenly break into fights. Also his Saturn (duty, also restriction) squares your Mercury (thinking, also talking) and Moon (home, also emotions), so he restricts your talking and emotions.
In addition, he has more of his planets focused on the left (self) of his chart, so he focuses on himself. You have more of your planets focused on the right (others) of the chart, so you focus on others. As long as you focus on him, everything is fine. Once you expect him to focus on you...the problems start.
A relationship takes BOTH people working together to make things work out. If he is unwilling to do this...it may be time to move on.
yes that is a grand trine in the composite,with saturn,uranus and mars.
but my experience is that squares and oppositions will trump the harmonious influence of even a grand trine.this grand trine actually shows that he will get his way rather than the trine being helpful to you,as saturn and mars are masculine.
11-16-2007, 11:46 PM
Yes, you are right. It has been all about him for 18 months. I feel like I have been held in place. There is no movement towards something real, and that frustrates me. That he sees me when he wants to see me, when it works for his schedule, and then he puts me back up on a shelf. He controls all of it. I also feel like I am very careful as to what I say, and how I say it. Because I don't want to push him when he obviously isn't ready for a relationship. I have to admit to myself that even though it is wonderful when we spend weekends together, that I haven't seen the whole person yet. We've never seen each other's bad side. We've never had a disagreement. He just won't let me in. And I'm tired. And I guess I am also angry. Because it means so much to me, and I guess it doesn't mean anything to him. All he has ever said is that it's a slower process for him, and he has to admit that he has a hard time developing emotional attachments.
Thanks for taking the time to look at our charts, and for your interpretation. It does help me.
11-18-2007, 10:37 PM
Sorry for the delay but life gets busy....Where here it goes: I saw Rahu's analysis of your composite relationship chart and I totally agree with him. Grand trines help and sometimes they just make people lazy and it seems you are more interested in relationship than he is but lets keep going. In your natal chart you have Venus in gemini 7th house so marriage and commitment is of utmost importance to you especially trining Jupiter and sextiling Mars. Jupiter in house of friendships, hopes and wishes and also Mercury sextile Venus in its own sign shows how communication and intellectual compatiblity is more important and you mentioned your lively conversations with Dave which is also emphasized in your chart and adds to your desire and passion for him. But you also have Sun square Mars (another pointer how a rotten apple can spoil things) this would show power struggles or feeling inferior in relationships.
Dave also has Venus in gem in 7house so there is that strong magnetic attraction and he also has Venus sextile Jupiter and Pluto so he can probably put a patent of the level of charm and wittiness (glad I never met him :) ) but he also has VEnus trine Neptune and that can make him a creative, artistic but also a dreamer. Is he a musician? We have to watch Neptune aspects because it alters our perception of reality.
Back to your chart you now have transiting Pluto oppose Natal Venus which also brings back the power struggle in love, showing your desire to be with him but lacking passion and the romance that you desire especially since you devoted 18 months so far and once you are pass the age of 30 that is = to 10 dog years! However Pluto is also transformative in powerful conscious and unconscious ways either is very painful and of course I am speaking from experience. This aspect is also showing it is time for you to stand up for yourself. Also transiting Jupiter is opposing Venus it shows that you are struggling with your emotions for Dave and this is very difficult for you especially with Natal Venus is natural house of marriage and commitment.
BUT HERE IS THE GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! You have Progressed Venus sextile Natal North Node and sextiling natal Venus in 7th house! Hooray! Transiting Jupiter and trans Pluto with sextile natal Neptune in 11th house of hopes, wishes, and frienships. There is a wonderful new love interest possible within 4-5 months. Provided you and Dave dont reconcile I really think you should look forward to this because this will be a significant relationship not very many people experience prog Venus sextile N Venus. also you should plan many activities with friends and pick up old or new hobbies and that is how you will meet the new person coming. Keep your eyes and ears open you will be very happy. Please keep me posted!
Wishing you Romantic Fortunes!
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