doomed to be alone?

[aquarimoon]

I am trying to understand my chart, I have Venus in Mars, 5th house in Libra and 7th house in Sagittarius and Moon in aquarius. It seems like a pattern here where my relationships start out good but end quite traumatic. After my marriage ended in 1996, I did not get into another deep relationship until 2003 - how sad is that? only to find out 3 and 1/2 years into it that relationship ended as well with him leaving me in our de facto home where I had to move out & look for a place to live. I had no car or family around and was completely alone. He ended it (we fought alot) and I havent heard from him since. Six months later I am still wondering why it became a trauma for me. This would be the 3rd consecutive ending and each time was traumatic all of them involving moves and deep emotional wounds. My last relationship ended 28th March this year - a day before my birthday - shortly after the March solar eclipse on 19th.

I dont know what in me calls for these unhappy endings. Am I doomed to be alone? I think about it and it makes me sick. Its like I can never trust myself to be happy again (saturn in the 1st house?). I keep thinking how will I ever be close to anyone if it all ends badly and me back to square 1 each time?

Will I trully be able to have a decent relationship, or get married again? I just dont know.:( Can someone please help me read my chart esp. the 7th and 5th house aspect?

born 9:58am 29/3/1973
colombo, SL
6N56 79E51

PS how do I post my natal my chart?

[Catatonia]

This requires a lot of analysis. First and foremost, consider just a general incompatibility between the partners you chose/chose you. As for the astrology, I have to tell you that the Saturn/Neptune opposition on your Ascendant/Descendant looks questionable to me. I can tell you may have trouble understanding the terminology and such, so I'll try to break it down and whatever pieces are left unturned you can look up.

The Ascendant signifies you as a person while the Descendant, naturally opposite the Asc. (shortened) signifies the relationships you make with the outer world. This includes romantic partnerships which is what it's infamous for, but also includes business partnerships, friendships, etc. Of course, as far as the isolation goes--there ARE houses besides the 7th (descendant) that signify these separately such as the 2nd house (business/your money/security) and 11th (your friends, hopes and wishes). Anyway, you get my drift. Your chart is really interesting, but let me get to the point.

Your Neptune in your 7th, very tightly in just about partile (exact) conjunction with your Descendant is a VERY big deal. You have to understand, while Saturn is naturally who you are--I would assume a fairly down-to-earth individual, most likely very structural, you enjoy having firm foundation. Half-assed ideas aren't your style, you want support. You respect defined boundaries. I'd predict you are intelligent, very focused on keeping your head on matters until they're done. Again, this is my perception of YOU.

The person you look for, on the other hand, is a totally different story. This is the Descendant--Neptune really waters everything down. Neptune signifies illusion, delusion, the liquified reality--which isn't really a reality, is it? This signifies at times the tendency to completely ignore your partners flaws, he's perfect in your eyes. He may have problems with controlled substances like drugs and alcohol. This placements has a reputation with wanting to "save" someone from their problems. Perhaps this is the reason you got the poor end of the bargain, by getting yourself mixed up with people you thought you could/should save, and then Saturn (realism) shot the Neptune (delusion) out of your life, made you see your partners for who they really are, but by then it was most likely too late. With your Neptune being pretty much aspected by everything--your Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn, it seems to touch every part of your life. Perhaps you experience this cloudiness more than you realize. As far as your relationships go, both Venus and the ruler of your 7th/descendant, Jupiter, are trined/sextiled by Neptune. I'm using this to reinforce your possible cloudiness in the relationship arena.

Going a little deeper into it, your 7th/Descendant is ruled by Jupiter (Sagittarius, ruled by Jupiter). Jupiter's cadent in the 9th in Aquarius conjunct the Moon and Mars. You know, everyone is different but I tend to see a similarity in Aqua Moon individuals. You guys are too distant as times when it comes to being emotionally supportive. Considering your abundance of Aquarius placements, I'm going to stand by my point. Perhaps your partners were just far too emotional (Neptune conj Descendant, Neptune waters down--it's very emotional) and couldn't take the distance that you were forcing into the relationship.

I could go further with this if you give me some confirmation about the info I've typed out. For now, read up and respond if you can.

Catatonia

[Catatonia]

As far as being doomed to be alone, I think not. LOL The advice I'd give you (granted what Ive told you is true) is to stop going for people you want to help and save, and try to go for those who exhibit more of who you are as an individual. People going somewhere in life with no substance abuse problems, who have structure in their life as oppose to not. Try to stop avoiding problems that you feel are inevitably going to ruin your relationship. Problems like perhaps an inability to accept responsibility (just an example), problems with abuse, problems with anger, problems with finance(I mean BIG problems), problems with fidelity. If you see stuff like that come up, DON'T gloss over it. In fact, don't gloss over anything. Bring everything to the forefront and deal with it because that "little" thing might be something that ruins your relationships. Start with choosing a reliable partner and then go forth with the problem arena as the relationship develops.

Cat

[wilsontc]

Aquarimoon,

You have Neptune (sprituality, also idealization, confusion, deception) conjunct (energy is combined with) your Descendant (others), so you tend to idealize others and can be confused or even deceived by those around you. Since you have Venus (relationships) focused in the 11th house (friends), you need to have "friendly" relationships, close but not TOO close. And, with Aries (being, also action) modifying Venus, you like to "conquer" in relationships...and once you get the relationship, you may lose interest.

All these things are things you now know...so you can work with them. Get many other people's opinions before deciding on a guy. Realize no guy is "the one" and if he isn't working on the relationship too...it won't work no matter what YOU do. Understand you can "burn out" easily on relationships and need some "alone time" to "do your own thing." Relationships aren't perfect or easy...they take BOTH people in the relationship working together to make them work.

Relating,

Tim

[aquarimoon]

Thank you all for the responses. Sorry I am replying late..

Firstly Cat, you are spot on about idealising partners. The one I was married to (Gemini) did abuse alcohol and drugs recreationally and although my rational mind wouldnt normally accept this in partners I was drawn to the thrill of him being different from me & the excitement. I was more downtoearth and straight. These flaws I would gloss over merely to be able to enjoy the romance side of things. But when the relationship progresses, the gloss wears off and since I would be in a pseudo comfortable state ie having someone to romance with, it was hard to break away although the nagging feeling of "this is not right" and intuition would persist and GROW -like you say, the saturn self emerges to shatter the neptune "illusions".

This is where I believe I emotionally close off (aqua moon). Maybe the aqua moon behavior emerges and I am unable to be responsive to the other person's needs etc as I see the flaws more clearly. I will ask them to change and by then emotionally the relationship for me is over - because deep down I know that it will never work. Regardless, I STAY in it for fear of leaving and being alone & mainly for fear of losing them as I would still be in love with them somehow?? By then the relationship breaks down as the person I see before me is a stranger, and not the one I met.


The last relationship was much the same, he was a pathological flirt amongst other things which my jealous/insecure streak would not be able to cope with. However, once again I will idealise and get into it firmly believing that they will change, that I need a partner who cares etc and of course they wont. When it gets serious and I see the flaws and ask him to change, he did for a while but I couldnt forget because I KNEW this is not the sort of person I want to be with no matter if they changed or not: thats who they are! So I would get hurt and feel trapped, my devotion would change, he saw the change, and the aqua moon "ice" will show but although I would say I wanted to leave I wouldnt!! Why the tenacious hold? Whys wouldnt I just get up and leave? Is it a Taurean inflence? I dont have Taurus in my chart..

My last partner was an Aries with Scorpio moon and boy was that emotionally draining, it was full of tears - 3 and 1/2 years of some good times dotted with massive emotional fights ( his controlling nature)& tantrums - it was sheer hell. When he left I was relieved although terribly alone. He had a lot of good qualities but was intense (scorpio moon) flaws that I couldnt accept and he was not even my type when it came to looks. I dont know why I got involved. He invested more emotionally than I did and it breaks my heart to think that. The fact that he wants nothing to do with me bothers me as it isnt his nature.

Aries meant he was controlling and stubborn - Shining Ray like you say probably the Sun/Pluto aspect on the men. More emotionally abusive although the one I was married to was a bit physically abusive as well.

As for normal friendships, I havent had a real friend or best friend... ever. I am quite extroverted and have many associates/friends but none substantial or deep enough to last all my life. Not sure why. I tend to keep to myself but do well in groups with people I know.

Shining Ray/Wilson tc, you are right, there are wounds to heal and I am generally uncomfortable in my own skin or feel - inadequate, nervous etc the Asc Gemini I believe. My childhood was mainly dominated by a tyrannical mother, my dad died when I was 5 years old. My mother is quite neurotic and very controlling, and even to this day remains emotionally abusive. I cannot get along with her for long periods of time, she is an eternal pessimist and fatalistic. All I remember her saying in my last relationship was that " he will leave you" What words of encouragement and true to her word he did. I grew up with no emotional support from her at all and always being told how well other people were doing, how others were better looking than me. It was painful. Even to this day my friendships or relationships with people leave me "victimised" somehow so yes, I do not open up to people on a deep level. I will keep my distance although inside I will hunger for closeness.

The relationships be it friends or lovers can be all consuming sometimes that I basically "lose" myself in it.

I am trying to focus on myself - somehow I can only empower myself and do the things I like, only if I am single, if I am in a relationship I give myself too much and forget my identity which I find strange because I have a alot of Aquarius in my chart. At the moment I am drawn to a Virgo man at my work, he is kind gentle, handsome. Its a powerful attraction from my part as I have never ever felt that way about anyone before..honestly. Its either a past life connection or an obsession. And I barely know him. He is the embodiment of what I want in a partner, looks, character etc but he is divorced with 2 small kids and has a girlfriend I believe. I am so afraid of everything turning out to be so bad I cant even trust my own judgment. This guy pops up everywhere at work and I'll be walking along doing my thing and I look up and he'll be there just inches in front of my face. :confused: He is shy but I dont know what it all means...

The Neptune disillusioness that Cat sees touching all planets is a bit worrisome to me.

[aquarimoon]

Shining Ray, I agree with you on that note. However I must say that I am NOT the clingy type. In fact my last partner was more clingy than any woman I know! I thought it was his scorpio moon and that clingyness was once one of the things I found attractive, he was more touchy feely, sensitive and even after 3 years and living together was sending me 15 texts a day. I dont know if it was control masked in the clingyness but I was flattered by it and sometimes smothered by it that I was actually pining for a bit of space without him. He went everywhere with me and I mean everywhere, he liked to be that close which I miss sometimes as I dont know how many men want to spend 24/7 with their partners and not feel stifled.

That is what I find odd, with my background I thought I would be emotionally clinging and demanding but I was aloof - showing more aquarian qualities.I guess I had more masculine energy in the relationship with him and him more of the sensitive feminine type (except when he was angry), what is also intriguing is that he was aries as well, with venus in aries just like me and also gemini asc.You would think we were a match made in heaven!

I am big on giving space and I gave him so much space that he didnt even like it.That is why I found it so odd that he closed off due to the fighting and left the relationship and not a word since. It is fatalistic as I find in almost all my love relationships, I just dont know if its me attracting incomplete people or my aquarian/neptune and various aspects keeping them muddled and making them run.

I dont expect any relationship to make me happy as I have learnt to sustain myself. I like my space and doing my own thing, but when I am ready I would like to look to getting in a relationship to add to my world and complement me. It seems like maybe its not meant to happen to me. I look back and its all failed miserably. Part of me says thats enough - stay single. Then I think well deep down I dont want to, I would be happy with someone to share my life with, someone to grow with..:mad: ugh..

[aquarimoon]

Shining Ray.. that was a trully wonderful post, it totally moved me, thank you... :)

[Catatonia]

I'm a Scorp Moon and my boyfriend has an Aquarius Moon. It gets to be very difficult. We are, indeed, both emotionally involved, but he has a very prominent tendency about himself to get frustrated when I invest all of myself into the situation and he pulls out, distancing himself so much as to get cruel. We're barely holding on at this point. It's very difficult for me because I never say anything to intentionally hurt him out of my frustration as he does, admitting to me exactly what his intent was. That's the most painful aspect of all. I know he's capable of intense emotional involvement, but when problems come up (Hey ShiningRay, that chapter you posted hit the nail on the head for me!), I ask for closure and security and he does his best, apparently, to take that away. I love him very much, but I am just about ready to turn around and go. I almost fell into the same trap as you, trying to tell myself it'll get better, mainly because I've already been through it once. Although, I realize because I've been through it that the result will not be what I want it to be. It's hard to throw such a good thing away, but I can't control who he is and I know that.

Maybe one day...

Hey, AquariMoon, it's really okay. The fact that Neptune aspects all of your personal planets and some outers is okay. They are harmonious aspects, all you really have to do in that case is make sure you're maintaining at least a good amount of focus on the realism of departments in your life. Make sure you're realistic about work, school, family, friends, ambitions, etc. Set realistic goals, and don't be too hard on yourself when some things didn't work out the way you'd planned or "dreamed" it to be. That's all. :)

[aquarimoon]

Shining Ray, you are correct about the duality of my needing space and also wanting to be around people.

Where I find that I need space is probably more on an emotional level - on a very deep level. This I believe is the Aqua nature. And yes my ex was so into me it was smothering - or more so irritating at times. Its not that I am cold and distant, believe me I am not! But I do tend to go inside my head to chill at times. Must also be the saturn in 1st influence?
Thats
The duality is that I like BEING in the company of people ie not isolated. This is probably more on a physical level ie being in proximity to people. This could be the Cancerian aspect as you say as well.

Do you think having Pluto in my chart makes me Scorpionic on some level? I find that I get along well with Scorpio women and are drawn to Scorpio men.

Cat, my ex's Scorpio Moon was intense. I was drawn to his sultry side but actually he had the knack of making a bad situation worse by just draining my emotions. It was like a black pit when he was down, very very dark and for me suffocating. I found myself leaving the house so many times because it was too intense when we fought.

I thought the duality would have come from the Gemini Asc.

[aquarimoon]

Shining Ray, you are correct about me exhibiting air qualities.. I dont like emotional outbursts at all, I get embarrassed even if I see outbursts in other people. I admire people who are calm and collected maybe because deep down I aspire to be that way although most of the time I can be talkative and cant sit still. Although I am able to love I think maybe I need to work on learning to return the love I get.

The relationship side of airy types fit me to a T. My peronality is more Gemini although I cant find which parts strictly identify the Aquarian part - the air part yes I can see. You are correct in saying that I look for Pluto type partners as I always like the"loner" type guys the dark horse. I am no attracted to guys who are showy or talk too much. Its always been the quiet, conservative - ( Colin Firth!) sort of man. My last partner Aries - Scorp Moon was gregarious, arrogant etc and the opposite of what I really want. So I was surprised when it happened.

Now that I understand the elements that makeup my blueprint, I wonder what sort of partner would compliment my chart? Since the relationships were disastrous in the past as I cant judge partners (air type) I will be looking closely at the chart on my next partner before getting serious.

When looking for partners, should I be lookng for the opposite of my elements? Or similar to my elements - ie predominant air types etc? Or if not comparing the charts maybe a Sagittarian? ie my 7th house is in Sag and 5th Libra. Although long ago some psychic said I would marry a Libran man I have yet to go out with one. How about Virgo, I am a stickler for neatness and cleanliness so maybe that might work..:D

[aquarimoon]

I looked at my ex partners chart, not only does he have Gemini Asc, Sun in Aries and Venus in Mars, he also has Libra in the 5th house and Sagittarius in the 7th just like me. Thats kinda scary dont you think? His Moon in Scorpio & Sun in Aries makes him a little vindictive. He is still not in contact although I sent him a text once or twice saying how are you doing etc, never got a reply back. Must be angry I dont know. Its been like 7 months so am not sure what his problem is.

I dont want anything from him, not even to be friends but it would be nice to hear from him at least once. Was it my Aqua moon that pushed him away ? Could he have been the perfect partner for me? Or is it HIM that has the issues?

Can you please look at his chart? I am finding it extremely hard for the 1st time in my life to have closure on this particular r/ship.

(His)date of birth: 14th April 1968
time: 10am
place: Buenos Aires, ARG.

(Mine)date of birth: 29th March 1973
time: 9:58am
place: Colombo, SL

[Catatonia]

lol...Oh, now you're wondering about him. :rolleyes:

Something tells me he closed you off because you didn't seem like you cared when he was open.

His Scorp Moon is disposed by Mars in Taurus, disposed by Venus, disposed by Mars. When a planet is in the dignified sign of another planet which is in the sign of the first, this is called mutual reception. Remember, though, the planets have to be dignified. For example, Mars has dignified rulership of Scorpio and Aries. Venus has dignity over Libra and Taurus. When Venus is in Aries (or Scorpio) and Mars is in Libra (or Taurus) in the same chart, they are in mutual reception. Both his Mars and Venus in detriment natally are sort of supported by one another because they're mutually received by one another.

His 5-time conjunction between Sun, Mercury, Venus, Saturn, True Node (Or North Node) in the 11th (whole sign houses) is REALLY interesting. He's got immense energy, probably a highly stern character, also focused and down to earth. It's funny, because your Saturn in the 1st and his 5-time conjunction with Saturn have similar energy. This guy's not perfect, and i'm not saying the huge conjunction is positive, but I am saying it's attractive to the astrological eye.

Considering the Arian influence in correspondance with his very mutable, fickle Gemini Ascendant and an 11th house emphasis, I doubt he really minded your Gemini and Aquarius influence.

From me, here's the bottom line. Because of your identical ascendants, your planets will fall in the same houses in his chart. Something tells me he really appreciated you, and probably closed you off because you dismissed his need for emotional security. The 6th house is about dependence too, did you know that? Above other things, the 2nd is security but the 6th shows signs of dependence too, and having said that, his Moon in 6th also falls in your 6th. Considering it's in Fall (the unwanted guest), it looks to me as if you may have treated his emotions as such. Think back at what happened when you two fought. Did he try to make you realize things while you blocked them out, thinking he was lecturing and draining you, and that is why listening to him was no point? Did he try to consistently make you (I know..control issues) respond to him emotionally because you wouldn't naturally do that, and instead adopt a very indifferent and hurtful attitude?

These are just some things. Scorp Moons just NEED emotion. It's about compromise. He should compromise and give you some emotional space when you need it, but you needed to tell him when. So he may have resorted to emotional crisis and control issues, but only because you probably just didn't feel the desire to give him that or let him in. Eventually he probably just gave up. He must have understood that trying to make you realize things wasn't going to work, and he wasn't about to change you, so he left.

Just my .02

Cat

[Catatonia]

The other thing that I would SERIOUSLY take into account is the Moon square Mars. This is literally a clashing of emotion w/aggression and all that other Marsy shtuff. You guys have that mutually. I'm betting 200% this is one of the primary causes of your situation with him. Having it in fixed signs is sooo not fun..

Catatonia

[aquarimoon]

Wow.. that excerpt was amazing:) You are correct in saying that he was extremely emotional compared to me. In this r/ship, I was more the adult/parent type and he was the eternal child - Arien to a fault. His love was more of the smothering infantile nature ie 30 texts a day, cutesy things etc, always want to be touchy feely etc even his mother used to say we were like a teenagers. I mean I have 3 suitcases of stuffed toys that he bought me. It was cute at first like an adorable puppy, I think his Scorp Moon made him intensely physical and emotional but it wasnt adult love. He would throw temper tantrums and towards the end after hours of fighting I had to be the one to make the peace and it was exhausting. Although I miss the cute lovey dovey side after a while you want your man to be a man. I mean you want that emotional strength to rear its head once in a while and boy was it never there.

He wanted attention like no tommorow and if he didnt get it - he sulked like a 2 year old. At 1st it was cute - like aww how sweet. Then it was like - when is this guy gonna grow up? He will be 40 next year. That was the main problem. You are right his Saturn would have sapped my Sun, I no longer felt beautiful and creative & I lacked passion. I mean I didnt know what I liked? Its like my passion for life died somewhere along the line - coupled with horrific fights I was drained emotionally and physically, at one point I thought he was the devil sent to destroy my spirit. And he came close. Life was so bad I would think of ways to literally off myself. And I am a spirited girl.

The problems got worse when I moved in with him - couldnt afford the rent at my place so he offered and I wasnt 100% sure about living together. It was the beginning of the end.

I remember at night after saying goodnite etc I would rollover and sleep on my stomach - and he would take offense to that because I wouldnt be facing him! Such was the extent of his emotional needs. I think I was showing my moon because I was replused by this behavior - I wanted a man not a child. He wanted to play/tousle my hair in public and hold hands & I didnt like that all the time- it was some sort of control & I ALWAYS flinch at any sign of control ( must be my mothers overbearing).

This was the sum of my relationship. That is why when he up & dissappeared from my life I was stunned. Its not like him to not contact me at all. The reason he left was because he said he "no longer had the required emotions"
to be in this relationship and also that he didnt think there was anything wrong with being immature (and I mean totally immature), looking at **** & being a pathological flirt. He said these things made him happy. He also didnt think he needs to be married etc just because society puts an emphasis on marriage/kids etc - basically he wanted his freedom. For the Scopio Moon that is so unnatural.

I wanted a man of some emotional maturity, one who thinks about a future, a philosopher, a thinker, someone who wants to build a foundation. This guy lives in the moment, wants to be the life of the party and is a clown 24/7 - (not my type) I later realised when Neptune dissolved. I miss the cute immature love he brought (I guess I didnt have this in childhood) but come to think of why he just cut me off - its just another childish game. He was a child and the emotional intensity he brought was not the adult, the intense deep love - it was shallow and I could see right through it.

[Catatonia]

I SWEAR to GOD, this is JUST like my Aqua Moon bf :eek:


Wow.. that excerpt was amazing:) You are correct in saying that he was extremely emotional compared to me. In this r/ship, I was more the adult/parent type and he was the eternal child - Arien to a fault. His love was more of the smothering infantile nature ie 30 texts a day, cutesy things etc, always want to be touchy feely etc even his mother used to say we were like a teenagers. I mean I have 3 suitcases of stuffed toys that he bought me. It was cute at first like an adorable puppy, I think his Scorp Moon made him intensely physical and emotional but it wasnt adult love. He would throw temper tantrums and towards the end after hours of fighting I had to be the one to make the peace and it was exhausting. Although I miss the cute lovey dovey side after a while you want your man to be a man. I mean you want that emotional strength to rear its head once in a while and boy was it never there.

He wanted attention like no tommorow and if he didnt get it - he sulked like a 2 year old. At 1st it was cute - like aww how sweet. Then it was like - when is this guy gonna grow up? He will be 40 next year. That was the main problem. You are right his Saturn would have sapped my Sun, I no longer felt beautiful and creative & I lacked passion. I mean I didnt know what I liked? Its like my passion for life died somewhere along the line - coupled with horrific fights I was drained emotionally and physically, at one point I thought he was the devil sent to destroy my spirit. And he came close. Life was so bad I would think of ways to literally off myself. And I am a spirited girl.

The problems got worse when I moved in with him - couldnt afford the rent at my place so he offered and I wasnt 100% sure about living together. It was the beginning of the end.

I remember at night after saying goodnite etc I would rollover and sleep on my stomach - and he would take offense to that because I wouldnt be facing him! Such was the extent of his emotional needs. I think I was showing my moon because I was replused by this behavior - I wanted a man not a child. He wanted to play/tousle my hair in public and hold hands & I didnt like that all the time- it was some sort of control & I ALWAYS flinch at any sign of control ( must be my mothers overbearing).

This was the sum of my relationship. That is why when he up & dissappeared from my life I was stunned. Its not like him to not contact me at all. The reason he left was because he said he "no longer had the required emotions"
to be in this relationship and also that he didnt think there was anything wrong with being immature (and I mean totally immature), looking at **** & being a pathological flirt. He said these things made him happy. He also didnt think he needs to be married etc just because society puts an emphasis on marriage/kids etc - basically he wanted his freedom. For the Scopio Moon that is so unnatural.

I wanted a man of some emotional maturity, one who thinks about a future, a philosopher, a thinker, someone who wants to build a foundation. This guy lives in the moment, wants to be the life of the party and is a clown 24/7 - (not my type) I later realised when Neptune dissolved. I miss the cute immature love he brought (I guess I didnt have this in childhood) but come to think of why he just cut me off - its just another childish game. He was a child and the emotional intensity he brought was not the adult, the intense deep love - it was shallow and I could see right through it.

[aquarimoon]

Cat, you're saying your b/f is like me, or my ex ?:59:

[Catatonia]

Cat, you're saying your b/f is like me, or my ex ?:59:

Your ex!!!!!!

[aquarimoon]

Hmmm.. so how do you get through it? :)

Your man has aqua moon and exhibits my ex's qualities? maybe bcoz you are a Scorpio Moon..! Thats amazing so the relationship dynamics are the same for aqua moon/scorpio moon, where either one will project that behavior..

I mean the cutesy aspect is quite nice but not sustainable for me in the long run. I want something more solid that is why it was so difficult for me, not to mention me trying to make it serious when he wasnt serious, backfired on me.

I probably hurt him deeply, so I said sorry etc but I couldnt do much more as he cut me off completely. He is either hurt & or angry but by just cutting me off I think, is showing his childish side. Everyone reacts differently I suppose. I knew that the relationship was not sustainable in the long run, it was way too destructive.

[Catatonia]

You DO realize that the dynamic of it all goes far beyond the Moons, right?

Hon, my bf and I both have 4 Scorp placements each. His immaturity+childishness is a choice HE made. You can't change him, and I can't change mine. What I personally can't live with is the fact that when issues come up (and of course it's MY fault that they come up..because everything I have a problem with is miniscule), he always goes for the end of the relationship. I keep telling him we'll never get through conflict if he always makes a right turn into "the end". After that what he does is act like he doesn't give a flying fook about what I do, seems to detach completely, and finally when the "I don't give a ****" attitude comes through, he begins to say (consecutively, several times) a list of things that he knows will hurt me. He says them intentionally, and he knows this too. This is MY man. He instinctively does things to ***** the relationship up, and his Aqua Moon doesn't help because that only gets him more distant. As far as saying stupid sh1t, acting like he's the king of the world, etc.. that's all due to other things. The reason your ex and my bf are so alike is because they have similar influences. Mars is a strong influence for him, and Mars is similarly very strong for your ex as well. :)

The only way to get through it would be cooperation from both parties and realization of what each person is doing incorrectly. Mine refuses to cooperate and tries his best to hurt me. Don't ask me how to get through it-- I broke up with him almost 3 days ago. :rolleyes:

Not much else to offer,

Catatonia


Hmmm.. so how do you get through it? :)

Your man has aqua moon and exhibits my ex's qualities? maybe bcoz you are a Scorpio Moon..! Thats amazing so the relationship dynamics are the same for aqua moon/scorpio moon, where either one will project that behavior..

I mean the cutesy aspect is quite nice but not sustainable for me in the long run. I want something more solid that is why it was so difficult for me, not to mention me trying to make it serious when he wasnt serious, backfired on me.

I probably hurt him deeply, so I said sorry etc but I couldnt do much more as he cut me off completely. He is either hurt & or angry but by just cutting me off I think, is showing his childish side. Everyone reacts differently I suppose. I knew that the relationship was not sustainable in the long run, it was way too destructive.

[aquarimoon]

Cat, sorry to hear you broke up b/f..
Hope you get through it ok:39:

Yes as an Aqua Moon, I used to mouth off and say hurtful things probably like your ex, but it was more because I was hurting and not mainly to hurt my ex. I would later regret it as he used to remind me and kept the texts that I sent him ( I used to text him nasty stuff when we fought). If provoked yes I would definitely go off verbally like no tomorrow but by then I was backed to a corner and living with him so I felt caged in with no outlet, I had no car we were in the middle of the suburbs and it was not like I would run off in the dead of the night - actually I did walk out a few times.

Like Shining Ray said, he would over-dramatise - this guy used to want to be an actor - he is good at it too. When he gets upsets, he will pout and sulk and sprawl on the floor like he was dying. he would also get stomach gramps or gastro. Honestly at times I coudnt tell if he want was acting because it looked so put on! But I would go to him and try to appease him etc but after a while it gets old. Also I noticed that if I had a crisis he would say or do something to make his situation look far worse - like competing. I would come home having a God awful day and tell him ok I need to chilla bit etc - I would communicate - but he would make it worse - he would literally pick a fight with me. Can you imagine?

I dont know. Sometimes I want to run to him and nurse all his wounds, whatever pain I caused I feel like going to him and loving him. But then I think hey wait a minute, this guy slammed the door and left and gave notice to the rental. I had to move out on my own. He left me to die virtually, it was devastating... if he had a heart how can he sleep at night? Doesnt he wonder if I am ok, whether I have a roof over my head? He doesnt care. well not anymore..I just dont know how he lives with it.

[Catatonia]

"I used to mouth off and say hurtful things probably like your ex, but it was more because I was hurting and not mainly to hurt my ex. I would later regret it as he used to remind me and kept the texts that I sent him ( I used to text him nasty stuff when we fought). If provoked yes I would definitely go off verbally like no tomorrow"


Thank you.

This is what ended our relationship. You guys (Aqua Moon/strong influence) just don't get it when it comes to things like this..

I don't know your ex, and I believe you in what you say he does, acting, etc. But ****, if I ever said a god **** thing to intentionally hurt him..

From day 1 he asked me why I am so good to him. Now he regrets ever saying a mean word to me.

I get it..making things a little emotionally intense..sometimes a little draining..but there's so much more to it from my POV. Everyone is different.

Cat, sorry to hear you broke up b/f..
Hope you get through it ok:39:

Yes as an Aqua Moon, I used to mouth off and say hurtful things probably like your ex, but it was more because I was hurting and not mainly to hurt my ex. I would later regret it as he used to remind me and kept the texts that I sent him ( I used to text him nasty stuff when we fought). If provoked yes I would definitely go off verbally like no tomorrow but by then I was backed to a corner and living with him so I felt caged in with no outlet, I had no car we were in the middle of the suburbs and it was not like I would run off in the dead of the night - actually I did walk out a few times.

Like Shining Ray said, he would over-dramatise - this guy used to want to be an actor - he is good at it too. When he gets upsets, he will pout and sulk and sprawl on the floor like he was dying. he would also get stomach gramps or gastro. Honestly at times I coudnt tell if he want was acting because it looked so put on! But I would go to him and try to appease him etc but after a while it gets old. Also I noticed that if I had a crisis he would say or do something to make his situation look far worse - like competing. I would come home having a God awful day and tell him ok I need to chilla bit etc - I would communicate - but he would make it worse - he would literally pick a fight with me. Can you imagine?

I dont know. Sometimes I want to run to him and nurse all his wounds, whatever pain I caused I feel like going to him and loving him. But then I think hey wait a minute, this guy slammed the door and left and gave notice to the rental. I had to move out on my own. He left me to die virtually, it was devastating... if he had a heart how can he sleep at night? Doesnt he wonder if I am ok, whether I have a roof over my head? He doesnt care. well not anymore..I just dont know how he lives with it.

[aquarimoon]

Saturn transiting, would that be like saturn exiting or just moving around?

Saturn exits can be a testing time. Usually when Saturn leaves, it leaves profound changes in its wake ie job loss, health loss - and in extreme cases even death. Not that I am worried about that. I just dont want anymore negative life changing events. Saturn the teacher..I would have thought saturn returns at age 30? Also that Saturn rules bones and teeth..

Yes I am reflecting on my ex a lot, I am also getting sudden bouts of bubbly happy feelings about him that I am forcing myself to not contact him by phone or text. I havent felt this way about him since we split.

It must be the saturn transit otherwise its downright scary!! I dont want my ex, I want the Virgo! :38:

[aquarimoon]

Hi

I am beginning to understand alot more, thanks to your responses.. I can see more clearly the differences in me & my ex. The main thing I noticed was how he would take everything personally. This guy used to re-arrange the food on my plate, the garnish or cut up the steak etc without me asking! I mean it can be disempowering. He was over confident and outgoing outside but when he came home he would brood because his soccer team lost and it was the end of the world! Or he would be so highly strung that I would think he drank a 6 pack of Red Bulls and somedays yes he would have drunk 1 or 2 red bulls, that last thing an energetic Aries needs so I would come home and have NO down time at all. Too much erratic energy that I would get anxious, I could never relax unless I was asleep.

I can see the Saturn in Aries, the bruised personality the child who sulks etc..the Moon in Scorpio, the neediness. Xmas 2005, my mother went in for a kidney transplant and I was kinda all over the place trying to focus on her, it was stressful and guess what? it was like he would snap at me or fight with me saying that he didnt feel important. I mean what on earth? He was not emotionally supportive at all. It was like.. you are not paying attention to me now, so I am upset. I am not number 1 in your life at the moment so I am upset. This was him!

I cant believe I put up with his madness. I mean how nice a person am I:38:Or what a sucker I was!! I should have told him where to go. Actually it was HE who couldnt deal with heavy situations or dramas. We couldnt rent Drama or heavy themed movies because he didnt enjoy it. Or we would get them and I would watch them by myself, he would rather watch comedy. When I was in pain, or sick or had a severe toothache, he was not there! He simply couldnt deal with it and would distance himself. Do you know how upsetting that was? When reality struck he could not deal with it. It was too much for him. For someone who needs emotion - he was vacant except for the infantile kind. The soft cuddly superficial emotions.

Look, I dont want to slag him anymore, but I am saying that although I had the detached Moon it was him that had the major issues I'm pretty sure. When it came down to crunch time I was there with the box of tissues: with the bandages: with the advise & soothing words: but he WASNT !! He was not there at all when I needed him. Or he would emotionally tear me down (his saturn sapping my sun..) and then try to console me. I mean really, he would throw my fears in my face and then when I would crumble in a heap he would come to console me. It was sick. Was it like Stockholm Syndrome where you would actually like your perpetrator??

Well Wilsontc, Cat, Shining Ray... when you say I have to empower myself, this is where I need to tell them where to go. This is where I need to walk out. Never again... I will embrace my solar Aries warrior stance & everything Arian, and with a new found ferocity I will tell these energy drainers like my ex to back RIGHT off. :banana:

Do you think I will find my match one day.. my soulmate? Is it written in the stars that I will marry? I am trying my best each day to be a better person.

[Catatonia]

Do you think I will find my match one day.. my soulmate? Is it written in the stars that I will marry? I am trying my best each day to be a better person.

I dont' know if you believe in that stuff, but it seems like even in the worst case scenarios things seem to work out the way they should have. You always have options, and it's your choice what you do and what you don't do a lot, but the universe is always there to influence you. As far as match or soulmate...look at it this way. Every person you meet, you meet for a reason. The person you talk to for 30 mins while you wait at the doc's office.. there's so much behind everything else. Marriage is really just a contractual statement telling everyone around you that you're committed to one another. If you're looking for material benefits, you don't have to marry your "soulmate". Just live life day by day and explore what the universe gives to you. Worrying about such matters as finding your soulmate and getting married, well, sometimes they force you to be distracted from the things that need your attention most. It's never a bad thing to wonder, but you seem to be putting too much energy into something that one can rarely predict.