View Full Version : I need advice for this relationship...
10-10-2007, 10:34 PM
I've known him for about 4 years. We met in a forum, started with argument and kept going on by life sharing and music.
As I went abroad soon after we met, we always communicate with each other through internet. We were once together, it was between July - September 2004. Our relationships were between friends and lovers since then. Last year, I almost gave up on this relationship but the little things he did brought back my feelings! We had a great time in March this year.
However the relationship still faces problems. I suddenly realised that he might be a bisexual, or worse, a gay. I asked him and he told me that he couldn't confirmed about that.
I really like this give & take relationship but I desperately found that something keeps repeating. Everytime he said something and shocked me, made me feel wanna end up the feelings toward him but after some time I would persuade myself to accept it. This time, knowing him might not be a straight guy, I took a rash decision - not contact anymore. He agreed that we could try this and see whether it is good for me.
Three weeks passed and I know that I can't even live my own life now. What am I supposed to do?
composite chart (secondary progression) If I made it wrong please tell me...
10-11-2007, 09:52 AM
Ok... I made a composite chart.
Is there anybody could help me ? :69:
10-12-2007, 04:01 PM
Hello Psyche, well from looking at his chart I do think he is confused about his identity with Sun,Venus,Moon, and Merc. all squaring his Neptune.
He is also highly sensitive and probably intuitive as well. Mars, ruler of his sexual energy is opposed to Saturn in his 5th house, showing that he is severely blocked in his (sexual) self-expression and also generally speaking. His early family life was creating confusing circumstances (Venus square Neptune) and he problably did not get the normal examples on how to give love, how to express love feelings in words and emotions. Note that Moon, Venus and Mercury all three are in extreme exact conjunction. Uranus, ruler of his 8th house, is on a critical degree (17° in a mutable sign) and in the 6th house of health, that 8th house matters need resolve and if not, he could get physically ill. There is a mutual reception between Jupiter and Uranus (Jupiter in Aquarius, Uranus in Saggittarius and not only by sign, also by house! Here is a strong 6-8th house connection and this Mutual reception should be seen as a conjunction between the two energies. So Uranus, connected with extremes, being different, also being quite different in sexual matters (being experimental) is enhanced by Jupiter. Jupiter enlarges everything it contacts. The two are also both conjunct each other cusps. Interesting picture. Still I think he is not gay but IS confused about his sexuality due to what happened to him in childhood (maybe had parents who were not there for him or were extremely strict with him? Mars rules all those planets and is in the fixed sign of Taurus and with that opposition to Saturn, mmmm.... not really pleasant if you ask me. I have a feeling he suffered quite a bit. Also Uranus is inconjunct the Ascendant. An inconjunct is associated with the 6th and 8th house as well. Something not cosher there but I cannot put my finger to ît. Could have been abused and therefore become a bit "strange" about everything that has to do with sex. Also that Pluto in Scorpio in the 4th, again this 8th house emphasis. You should maybe carefully ask him about his family life.
About the composite chart. You cannot work with a composite in order to see how you both fit together. A composite shows how you and him, in the relationship (if you were to live together that is) deal with your individual problems showed by your Synastry chart. So you have to make a synastry chart to see how his moon and your moon etc etc. fit together. Where the problems lie etc. The composite then shows if you manage to resolve these probems or not and how others view you as a couple.(which might be totally different from what the relationship really is all about). Hope to have given you some insight here. Cheers, Star.
10-12-2007, 06:25 PM
Hello Star, thanks for your help. You must have taken a lot of time to reply to my thread.
I also think that he is not good at expressing love feelings in action and words. During his childhood, he had an unhappy family life. His parents are from different ethnic and religious background. Because of the Islamic law, his mother faced difficulty in access to divorce and the family violence still remains till now.
He stopped going to school since 14 and began working. His mother was happy to have one more person to help reducing economic burdens of the family. Perhaps he also lacks his father's approval in life. Due to the violence problems, he chased his father out earlier this year. However he still has to support his father's living as his father does not have a fixed job. He has many siblings but only being well with some of them.
You said something that I never noticed before like the reception, inconjunct..etc. And what do you think about 7th house? Saturn is also the ruler of his 7th house...
Here is our Synastry Chart. I should mention this earlier but I forgot. He told me that his birth time is among 12-12:59pm so I set it at 12:30pm.
10-12-2007, 09:25 PM
Thanks for clarifying the background Psyche. It makes more sense now about the religious/ethnic upbringing with his Moon,Venus,Merc. conjunction all in the 9th!, the house of ideologies and religion (amongst other things). Interesting. From what you described this young man really had and still has a very difficult existence. I am glad he has been able to do something about it, but do keep in mind that the violence etc. that he lived through as a child will probably be with him and cause certain disorders in his behavior, which then can cause problems in relationships, hence that Saturn on the cusp.
With that Saturn opposed to Mars, these things could be repeated (unwillingly) within a relationship, especially when he is not allowed to do what he wants to do and feels hemmed in. These patterns exist more often than not. A Moon-Mercury can be very restless. They are ruled by Jupiter and Neptune. Jupiter in aspect with Uranus on cusp 6 can cause illnesses of a nervous nature and Neptune (also in 6) square Sun can give physical problems that are difficult to diagnose and are most probably caused by psychological unrest.
The comparison chart shows lots of compatibility between you both. A nice Venus-Jupiter sextile, Sun-Moon compatible and in sextile, very important in a relationship. Your Moon in his 8th house shows that he feels that you emotionally support him. His birthtime is not exact which does not make so much difference with the planets places, but with the Moon, it does. Moon is just 6° in Aries and if he was born earlier, it could also just be in Pisces. Did you calculate it according to Midnight or 12 o'clock Ephemeries? If in Aries, then his and your Moon are also compatible, all looks very nice. If his Moon is in Aries, then with Mars in Taurus he can be extremely stubborn (also with that Saturn opposition) and more of a quiet person, earthy more so than Fiery. If his Moon is placed in Pisces, then with Jupiter as ruler, he then is far more open because of the Jupiter/Uranus connection and quite extreem in his ideologies. Also this Jupiter so close to the 8th house could make sense with all the crisis he had to go through. Try to change the time back to 12.15 and see if Moon is still in Aries (or even earlier). Must go now, it is late here. All the best, Star.
10-13-2007, 12:17 PM
Thanks for your suggestion! I tried to change the time from 12pm to 13pm, the moon is still in Aries. Only the houses change. Actually, he looks fierce when he is quiet but when he talks and smiles he looks very different. He is a person who willingly finds topic for chit chat. Easy come, easy go is the first impression he gives people.
I guess there is no problems if we keep contact with each other again but it won't bring any changes to our relationship. I just don't know when is the right timing or it won't ever come.
10-15-2007, 02:14 AM
It's strange. I know 3 people born in the same day of same year.
One is my highschool classmate (since 2001) who was born at 5:30pm and then I knew this guy in 2003... Two months later, in my new school I met a girl who was born at 11:30am.
Except my highschool classmate (his birthtime is a bit later than the other two and his sexual orientation is very clear, hetrosexual), I keep contact with them quite frequently. The difference is, it seems that I like to rely on the guy more while sometimes I'm cold and impatient with the girl. But both of them are kind to me...
Sometimes I wonder if it's a kind of fate or karma or something else...... :confused:
the composite covers much of what you have brought up about this relationship.
the mercury/venus/sun stellium indicates the spontaneous joy and love that you two can experieince.this is a aspect of affection and laughter.but the 12th house position does show the culture restrictions that accompany the relationship.the mars opposed to the saturn/pluto midpoint describes his cold and repressive ,at times, nature.with the uranus/sun midpoint square to this opposition,he can not make up his mind whether he wants the relationship or not.but these aspects usually indicate a relationship that will not last.just as he can be moody,the moon square to uranus shows that you are the opposite.lively,impatient and ready for changes.with you being such a independent nature and he having a moody nature,this gives the relationship huge mood swings ,from very good to very bad.this difference also is not a good indication for the longevity of the relationship.
with the moon/jupiter midpoint square to saturn the possibility of a good term relationship is not good as he is against it as strongly as you are for it.
10-28-2007, 07:37 PM
Hi Rahu, thanks for the reading by midpoint. It would be good if we were just friends but I wanted too much. I don't know why but he did give me the chances to do so. Now it turns out that I feel I was cheated.
You mentioned something about moody and I always thought that the moody one is me :confused:
Just a little question, his Uranus and Jupiter inconjunct the Ascendant. Is this a YOD ?
10-29-2007, 01:01 PM
Hi Psyche! Your question:
his Uranus and Jupiter inconjunct the Ascendant. Is this a YOD ?
Uranus does make an inconjunct to the Ascendant, Jupiter is a bit too wide in orb. I usually take no more than max. 2° orb and Jupiter is 0.56 seconds too wide, but maybe we could call this a wide Yod, yes. Jupiter and Uranus do sextile one another and an exact Yod can be formed when a planet is just a bit before coming to the Ascendant, let's say at 15°.
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