astrobhadauria
05-11-2007, 12:16 PM
Aries: (21 Mar - 19 Apr)
What she's like: Frankly, she'll be delighted to have the responsibility of motherhood off her hands. Not that she doesn't love her son – she probably loves him more than you do – but loving someone is not the same as parenting him. And this lady has plenty of other, more fun, things to do.
What she thinks of you: She'll do her best to be fair, and make a point of trying to like you. She's a powerful woman who probably had trouble with her own mother-in-law, so she'll give you space and respect your opinions, even if she doesn't agree with them. Which, incidentally, she almost certainly won't.
How to get her on your side: Be as strong as she is. And don't go whining to her about your problems. Be happy and self-assured; an independent woman in your own right. Someone she can respect.
Taurus: (20 Apr - 20 May)
What she's like: The lady bull is a collector of things, money and, most of all, people. Her home is a warm, inviting mess.She loves to entertain, and will go to great lengths to ensure her house is always full of people. In many ways, she is the eternal child ...and mother.
What she thinks of you: She'll either like you or she won't. The fact you're with her son has nothing to do with it; she's very into vibes and energies. In fact, she'll probably bring out the tarot cards to find out what kind of person you are.
How to get her on your side: Family is important, and this lady will go to the ends of the earth to make sure it's a happy one. Let her win on the small stuff – if she doesn't get her way at least occasionally, she'll turn into the most stubborn creature you could ever meet.
Gemini: (21 May - 22 Jun)
What she's like: She thinks a lot, and talks even more. She knows about politics, philosophy and anything else that's going on. She's the world's greatest gossip – but hopeless with emotion. She hides her feelings behind an enormous laugh.
What she thinks of you: As far as Mrs Gemini's concerned, you're probably just one of a string of girlfriends, wives and mistresses that will trail through her son's life. She'll be fascinated when you have something interesting to say and completely oblivious when you don't.
How to get her on your side: Don't talk about personal stuff – talk about something you've heard or learnt.
Introduce her to a new hobby or friend. Oh, and call her by her first name. She hates to be thought of as someone's ancient mother.
Cancer: (21 Jun - 22 Jul)
What she's like: This grand lady was born to be a mother. No, The Mother. The role of mother-in-law pleases her not one bit. Whether Mrs Cancer presents herself as the martyr or leader of the clan, the result's the same – she always gets what she wants.
What she thinks of you: No point beating about the bush. She hates you. No matter what you do, wear or say, she is convinced you have hoodwinked her poor, unsuspecting prince into marriage. The good news is, she'll always be polite.
How to get her on your side: Do as you're told. Ask for her recipes. And remind her every day of the brilliant job she did in bringing up her son. One more thing: never, ever criticise him. Criticise her son and you criticise her. Bad idea.
Leo: (23 Jul - 24 Aug)
What she's like: She's a queen, and expects to be treated like one. She also has a powerful need to live life her way. More often than not, she's a troublemaker or a woman who causes people to gossip about her. But, as she says, there's only one thing worse than being talked about, and that's not being talked about.
What she thinks of you: She's more interested in what you think of her. If you're more successful than her – at anything – she'll have difficulty hiding her jealousy, although she'll try hard. On a good day, she's charming; on a bad day, she'll barely open her mouth. Either way, don't take it personally.
How to get her on your side: Be her fan. Compliment her home, her hair, her eyes ...anything you can think of. Pay attention to her and Mrs Leo will reward you with kindness, extraordinary generosity, marvellous advice and genuine friendship.
Virgo: (24 Aug - 23 Sept)
What she's like: She really does want to help – the trouble is, she doesn't understand the difference between helping, and running, your life. Mrs Virgo is a caring, honest, invariably clever woman. She's also highly strung, over sensitive and moody.
What she thinks of you: She'll notice your chipped nail polish and laddered stockings. She'll know when you burnt the toast. In fact, you'll wonder if she's spying on you. Get used to it. She is. And she doesn't need eyes to do it. She just knows.
How to get her on your side: Don't ever throw a surprise party for her (she's seldom spontaneous). Other than that, let her know she's appreciated. Buy her presents, send little notes, remember her birthday. And always be grateful. There's nothing she won't do for you if you're genuinely grateful.
Libra: (23 Sept - 22 Oct)
What she's like: She's elegant and stylish, intelligent and reserved, and well behaved. She loves to pair people together and is delighted when a relationship works out. In fact, she's much more comfortable with married women than single ones.
What she thinks of you: Once you're married to her precious boy she'll do her best to love you no matter what. Mrs Libra fervently believes in the power of a good marriage, and she'd never do anything to jeopardise yours. She'll keep her distance, offering advice only when asked.
How to get her on your side: You just have to be the perfect wife. If you don't know how, watch her and learn. Ask questions. She'll answer carelessly, as if it doesn't matter. Don't be fooled. But if you can't be what she wants, tell her. She is fair and values honesty.
Scorpio: (23 Oct - 21 Nov)
What she's like: It'll take her five minutes to figure out who you are, or who she thinks you are. It'll take you a lifetime to get past first base with her. Scorpio likes to be in control of everything. If things go her way, there's no one more irresistible. If not, there's no one more terrifying.
What she thinks of you: You're a necessary evil – something her son needs and wants, and something that must therefore be tolerated. What she thinks of you will be based on intellectual decisions rather than on anything you have said or done. She'll look at your breeding, style, education – that sort of thing.
How to get her on your side: Let her think she's in charge. In fact, if at all possible, let her think she personally chose you for her boy. Let her do the talking, and keep out of her way as much as possible.There are hidden depths here you'll never understand – unless you're a Scorpio yourself.
Sagittarius: (22 Nov - 21 Dec)
What she's like: This is the madwoman of the zodiac. She'll make pilgrimages to India and climb Kilimanjaro. She'll have animals on her bed, and friends in every part of the world. She'll be loud and impractical one minute; wise and insightful the next.
What she thinks of you: You'd have to do something really awful to make her dislike you. Mrs Sagittarius likes everyone – the more interesting and unusual the better. You may not think she likes you, since she has a terrible habit of opening her big mouth only to plant both feet inside. But she just speaks without thinking.
How to get her on your side: Leave her to do her own thing. Don't be offended when she doesn't want to babysit or attend her grandchild's christening service. She's simply not the traditional sort. Otherwise, she's enormously easy to like.
Capricorn: (22 Dec - 19 Jan)
What she's like: If she's not highly successful in her own right, she'll want you (and her son) to be. She's ambitious and wants only the best for him. The only snag is, she hasn't grasped that his idea of best' is not necessarily the same as hers.
What she thinks of you: Hard to tell. She'll becharming, friendly and always on hand to babysit or make cakes. She'll never embarrass you and will keep your secrets. What she actually feels about you is probably as much a mystery to her as it is to you.
How to get her on your side: Behave yourself. If there's any wild stuff happening, make sure she never gets to hear about it. Mrs Capricorn wants her world to be safe and predictable. When it's not, she becomes stiff and cold.
Aquarius: (20 Jan - 18 Feb)
What she's like:Mrs Aquarius is eccentric and unpredictable; she hates being labelled and she'll do her best not to label you. She's always interested in anyone new or different. She respects intelligence and achievement, and will help out wherever she can.
What she thinks of you:She'll take one look at you and instantly understand your strengths and weaknesses. She'll know immediately whether you two will get on or not. But even if she doesn't take to you, you'll never know it. She's the world's greatest actress, able to deceive and perform with the best of them.
How to get her on your side:Let her pull in and out of your life, and try not to offend her with harsh words or sounds. She loves to be treasured: a small gift or flower will win her over in an instant. But an angry word will tear her heart to shreds. Let her have her mysteries. And let her pretend the world is a wonderful place.
Pisces: (19 Feb - 20 Mar)
What she's like: She's creative and emotional, and romantic too, believing the best of people and ignoring faults – especially in her own children. At her best she's a fairy princess, glamorous and wise. At her worst, she's a martyr and victim, draining anyone who comes into her space.
What she thinks of you: She'll take one look at you and instantly understand your strengths and weaknesses. She'll know immediately whether you two will get on or not. But even if she doesn't take to you, you'll never know it. She's the world's greatest actress, able to deceive and perform with the best of them.
How to get her on your side: Let her pull in and out of your life, and try not to offend her with harsh words or sounds. She loves to be treasured: a small gift or flower will win her over in an instant. But an angry word will tear her heart to shreds. Let her have her mysteries. And let her pretend the world is a wonderful place.
What she's like: Frankly, she'll be delighted to have the responsibility of motherhood off her hands. Not that she doesn't love her son – she probably loves him more than you do – but loving someone is not the same as parenting him. And this lady has plenty of other, more fun, things to do.
What she thinks of you: She'll do her best to be fair, and make a point of trying to like you. She's a powerful woman who probably had trouble with her own mother-in-law, so she'll give you space and respect your opinions, even if she doesn't agree with them. Which, incidentally, she almost certainly won't.
How to get her on your side: Be as strong as she is. And don't go whining to her about your problems. Be happy and self-assured; an independent woman in your own right. Someone she can respect.
Taurus: (20 Apr - 20 May)
What she's like: The lady bull is a collector of things, money and, most of all, people. Her home is a warm, inviting mess.She loves to entertain, and will go to great lengths to ensure her house is always full of people. In many ways, she is the eternal child ...and mother.
What she thinks of you: She'll either like you or she won't. The fact you're with her son has nothing to do with it; she's very into vibes and energies. In fact, she'll probably bring out the tarot cards to find out what kind of person you are.
How to get her on your side: Family is important, and this lady will go to the ends of the earth to make sure it's a happy one. Let her win on the small stuff – if she doesn't get her way at least occasionally, she'll turn into the most stubborn creature you could ever meet.
Gemini: (21 May - 22 Jun)
What she's like: She thinks a lot, and talks even more. She knows about politics, philosophy and anything else that's going on. She's the world's greatest gossip – but hopeless with emotion. She hides her feelings behind an enormous laugh.
What she thinks of you: As far as Mrs Gemini's concerned, you're probably just one of a string of girlfriends, wives and mistresses that will trail through her son's life. She'll be fascinated when you have something interesting to say and completely oblivious when you don't.
How to get her on your side: Don't talk about personal stuff – talk about something you've heard or learnt.
Introduce her to a new hobby or friend. Oh, and call her by her first name. She hates to be thought of as someone's ancient mother.
Cancer: (21 Jun - 22 Jul)
What she's like: This grand lady was born to be a mother. No, The Mother. The role of mother-in-law pleases her not one bit. Whether Mrs Cancer presents herself as the martyr or leader of the clan, the result's the same – she always gets what she wants.
What she thinks of you: No point beating about the bush. She hates you. No matter what you do, wear or say, she is convinced you have hoodwinked her poor, unsuspecting prince into marriage. The good news is, she'll always be polite.
How to get her on your side: Do as you're told. Ask for her recipes. And remind her every day of the brilliant job she did in bringing up her son. One more thing: never, ever criticise him. Criticise her son and you criticise her. Bad idea.
Leo: (23 Jul - 24 Aug)
What she's like: She's a queen, and expects to be treated like one. She also has a powerful need to live life her way. More often than not, she's a troublemaker or a woman who causes people to gossip about her. But, as she says, there's only one thing worse than being talked about, and that's not being talked about.
What she thinks of you: She's more interested in what you think of her. If you're more successful than her – at anything – she'll have difficulty hiding her jealousy, although she'll try hard. On a good day, she's charming; on a bad day, she'll barely open her mouth. Either way, don't take it personally.
How to get her on your side: Be her fan. Compliment her home, her hair, her eyes ...anything you can think of. Pay attention to her and Mrs Leo will reward you with kindness, extraordinary generosity, marvellous advice and genuine friendship.
Virgo: (24 Aug - 23 Sept)
What she's like: She really does want to help – the trouble is, she doesn't understand the difference between helping, and running, your life. Mrs Virgo is a caring, honest, invariably clever woman. She's also highly strung, over sensitive and moody.
What she thinks of you: She'll notice your chipped nail polish and laddered stockings. She'll know when you burnt the toast. In fact, you'll wonder if she's spying on you. Get used to it. She is. And she doesn't need eyes to do it. She just knows.
How to get her on your side: Don't ever throw a surprise party for her (she's seldom spontaneous). Other than that, let her know she's appreciated. Buy her presents, send little notes, remember her birthday. And always be grateful. There's nothing she won't do for you if you're genuinely grateful.
Libra: (23 Sept - 22 Oct)
What she's like: She's elegant and stylish, intelligent and reserved, and well behaved. She loves to pair people together and is delighted when a relationship works out. In fact, she's much more comfortable with married women than single ones.
What she thinks of you: Once you're married to her precious boy she'll do her best to love you no matter what. Mrs Libra fervently believes in the power of a good marriage, and she'd never do anything to jeopardise yours. She'll keep her distance, offering advice only when asked.
How to get her on your side: You just have to be the perfect wife. If you don't know how, watch her and learn. Ask questions. She'll answer carelessly, as if it doesn't matter. Don't be fooled. But if you can't be what she wants, tell her. She is fair and values honesty.
Scorpio: (23 Oct - 21 Nov)
What she's like: It'll take her five minutes to figure out who you are, or who she thinks you are. It'll take you a lifetime to get past first base with her. Scorpio likes to be in control of everything. If things go her way, there's no one more irresistible. If not, there's no one more terrifying.
What she thinks of you: You're a necessary evil – something her son needs and wants, and something that must therefore be tolerated. What she thinks of you will be based on intellectual decisions rather than on anything you have said or done. She'll look at your breeding, style, education – that sort of thing.
How to get her on your side: Let her think she's in charge. In fact, if at all possible, let her think she personally chose you for her boy. Let her do the talking, and keep out of her way as much as possible.There are hidden depths here you'll never understand – unless you're a Scorpio yourself.
Sagittarius: (22 Nov - 21 Dec)
What she's like: This is the madwoman of the zodiac. She'll make pilgrimages to India and climb Kilimanjaro. She'll have animals on her bed, and friends in every part of the world. She'll be loud and impractical one minute; wise and insightful the next.
What she thinks of you: You'd have to do something really awful to make her dislike you. Mrs Sagittarius likes everyone – the more interesting and unusual the better. You may not think she likes you, since she has a terrible habit of opening her big mouth only to plant both feet inside. But she just speaks without thinking.
How to get her on your side: Leave her to do her own thing. Don't be offended when she doesn't want to babysit or attend her grandchild's christening service. She's simply not the traditional sort. Otherwise, she's enormously easy to like.
Capricorn: (22 Dec - 19 Jan)
What she's like: If she's not highly successful in her own right, she'll want you (and her son) to be. She's ambitious and wants only the best for him. The only snag is, she hasn't grasped that his idea of best' is not necessarily the same as hers.
What she thinks of you: Hard to tell. She'll becharming, friendly and always on hand to babysit or make cakes. She'll never embarrass you and will keep your secrets. What she actually feels about you is probably as much a mystery to her as it is to you.
How to get her on your side: Behave yourself. If there's any wild stuff happening, make sure she never gets to hear about it. Mrs Capricorn wants her world to be safe and predictable. When it's not, she becomes stiff and cold.
Aquarius: (20 Jan - 18 Feb)
What she's like:Mrs Aquarius is eccentric and unpredictable; she hates being labelled and she'll do her best not to label you. She's always interested in anyone new or different. She respects intelligence and achievement, and will help out wherever she can.
What she thinks of you:She'll take one look at you and instantly understand your strengths and weaknesses. She'll know immediately whether you two will get on or not. But even if she doesn't take to you, you'll never know it. She's the world's greatest actress, able to deceive and perform with the best of them.
How to get her on your side:Let her pull in and out of your life, and try not to offend her with harsh words or sounds. She loves to be treasured: a small gift or flower will win her over in an instant. But an angry word will tear her heart to shreds. Let her have her mysteries. And let her pretend the world is a wonderful place.
Pisces: (19 Feb - 20 Mar)
What she's like: She's creative and emotional, and romantic too, believing the best of people and ignoring faults – especially in her own children. At her best she's a fairy princess, glamorous and wise. At her worst, she's a martyr and victim, draining anyone who comes into her space.
What she thinks of you: She'll take one look at you and instantly understand your strengths and weaknesses. She'll know immediately whether you two will get on or not. But even if she doesn't take to you, you'll never know it. She's the world's greatest actress, able to deceive and perform with the best of them.
How to get her on your side: Let her pull in and out of your life, and try not to offend her with harsh words or sounds. She loves to be treasured: a small gift or flower will win her over in an instant. But an angry word will tear her heart to shreds. Let her have her mysteries. And let her pretend the world is a wonderful place.