Mother and Daughter Synastry

[Shining Ray]

Can anyone interpret this synastry between me and my Mother, just wondering what you see in our synastry together. I don't have my Mother's birth time, I have put my chart in the inner wheel. You can't really tell what degree my Mother's Cancer Moon is at but I have always put her Moon opposed Mars because of the way she has described her Mother who was violent towards her. I know your not supposed to guess the aspects but she definately fits the description. I have included our natal charts because you can read the seperate personalities better. :)

http://img400.imageshack.us/img400/1359/synastrymotheranddaughtov4.gif (http://imageshack.us)

Here is my Natal Chart:

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/9680/julienataleg5.th.gif (http://img99.imageshack.us/my.php?image=julienataleg5.gif)

Here is my Mothers natal Chart, but I don't have the birth Time:

http://img381.imageshack.us/img381/3459/mothernataleq1.th.gif (http://img381.imageshack.us/my.php?image=mothernataleq1.gif)

Here is our Synastry Grid:

http://img400.imageshack.us/img400/3898/momanddaughteraspectgrilc2.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[wilsontc]

Ray,

The thing that stands out to me is your Mother's Saturn (duty, also restriction) on your Nadir (inner world). This in addition to your birth Saturn on your Ascendant (self). So you felt personally restricted and felt your mother as an inward restriction on you. This feeling would be strongest when you were a child.

Relating,

Tim

[Shining Ray]

Hi Tim,

you have focused right on the major problem of our relationship. Lately I don't really visit my mother that much, mostly because she has been busy anyway. I went down to visit her a couple a weeks ago, but when I leave I always feel depressed and down about myself, I can be in tears the next day after visiting her. This has happened quite a few times when I see her. I always get the feeling I don't measure up to the perfect daughter in her eyes. There are always little comments made by her which upset me but I don't even think she is aware how she hurts me by making these comments. I now know why our relationship brings these feelings out in me when I am with her. My mother's Saturn squaring my Saturn/Asc. The Ascendant representing the self, the physical body, how I view the world. Maybe how I view myself.

I have just looked up the meaning of Saturn square Asc in my Synastry book, it is for Romatic Relationships but I can still use it for this type of relationship. Here is what the book has to say on this aspect.

Saturn Square Asc

Adult Versus Child

One of you we'll call the 'adult' because they feel more worldly and responsible, will find the personal manner of the other the 'child', offensive in some way - it'll be too immature, egocentric, showy, impulsive, or anything which the 'adult' feels is not good 'form'. Because of this, the 'adult' tries to discipline or belittle the 'child' into behaving or expressing themselves in what they see as a more appropriate way. Naturally enough, the 'child' finds this stifling, painful and/or boring, and will probably step up the very behavior that got the 'adult going in the first place - either that or sulk. Needless to say, a good amount of love and understanding hopefully provided by other interactions, is needed to make each of you realise the other has a point. The 'child' does need to reform their manner of expression and how they physically hold or present themselves if they wish to make a better impression, whereas the 'adult' should focus upon exactly why it embarrasses them or makes them feel uncomfortable - maybe they should take a leaf out of the 'child's' book of self expression, or heed the same criticism they themselves are dishing out. Failing all this, this interaction is decidedly separate.

I know what form of expression my Mother finds inappropriate, it is my lack of self confidence, or my oversensitivity, probably both. Maybe it touches a raw nerve in her or something because she has said when she was younger she was shy and lacked self confidence, she likes to criticise in me a part of herself which she disliked. I was told once by my mother I should be more like my brother's wife who is successful, intelligent "Miss Perfect". My Mother telling me this invalidated me for the person I am, she may as well have spelt it out clearly to me, I am not good enough the way I am. I think it's come to a point where I will have to stop looking for validation from her. I will have to start trying to build the confidence I need from within a confidence which cannot easily be broken by others.

P.S I missed this aspect on my I.C I thought it had more to do with the Mars/Pluto aspect, but when you pointed this aspect out to me it has made me completely understand why I have all the feelings of not being good enough when I am around her. There is probably a purpose for our relationship to be like this, for me to find my own self worth.

Thanks Tim :) .

[flea]

Hi PF,

I have a feeling that both you and your mum are both sensitive to criticism, so the bit she sees as not worthy in herself is projected onto you. Very common in times past to dismiss emotions and sensitivity as irrelevant. But as a wise person told me the emotional life is not optional, on earth anyway.

I had similar prob with my mum, her moon is pisces my moon cancer. I have moon opp mars. It cut through me like a knife some of the comments. I worked on valuing all the things that got criticised and realised that they are worth it, wrll for me anyway. I then realised that her mother had the same attitude towards her. I was becoming aware of a cycle I could break. I started valuing these sensitivities and emotionality in my mum and told her I did. I think it was then that I started to shift something between us and the comments which still come, they are very unconcious and ingrained, did not hit spots in the same way anymore.

Oh I also did some past life stuuf which usually showed me as the mum. This pushed me into a new perspective. If I was the mum figure how could I best guide??

Funny how these mirrors occur with the threads I get drawn too.... Anyway might be relevant might be not.

Love & Light
Flea

[Sunny]

Hi, Shining Ray,


I was told once by my mother I should be more like my brother's wife who is successful, intelligent "Miss Perfect".
To hear such remarks from a mother is a very awful thing and shows that the mother wants to dominate eternally her girl. She wants also to keep her inferior , so that her girl has to be "under the rays" of the other members of the family. She gives them this power over you. And that's not right and also she is lying on her own feelings for you. This is a very naughty play.

Another point seems for me to be that you are the adult (Saturn conjuncts ASC) and your Venus in the 5th shows me that you have much charm! Look at this more than how to be a success in the eyes of your mother, and mothers are not the only order in the world. :)

Good luck!
Sunny