View Full Version : very worried about my sister who is struggling in a difficult rel - insight needed
I am terribly worried about my sister who is since 2 yrs in a rel with a man 17 yrs older than she. They have also a little son. She has serious health problems already due to the stress the relationship provokes. But she is not able to leave the man, she has not even tried... the man is wealthy and he is kind of dominating over my sister. She is contantly under tension in their everday life (like a cinderella... cooking, cleaning...), all their life turns around the old guy, while her emotional and security needs are being neglected. Sho could survive in this rel only if she could "draw the line" between him and her and take things lightly, but she cant. She is completely exhausted and (my beautiful sister!) is looking already like a wrack.
Mu question... is this man the love of her life, will it last forever?
1 June 1973, 17.40, Estonia, Tallinn
26 June 1957, time unknown, Estonia, Rakvere
Thanks for the help
03-21-2007, 09:45 PM
...is this man the love of her life, will it last forever...
Only your sister knows whether she considers this person the love of her life or if she wants it to last "forever." In terms of astrology, there are challenging connections between their Sun and Moon, indicating challenging "connection" with each other. There are also many challenging connections between their personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars, and Venus), which can be exciting in the short run and challenging in the long run. There is an easy connection between his Pluto (transformation, also power) and her Venus (relationships), indicating he has an easy power over her in the relationship. One thing is certain: this is NOT a relationship in which people can "take things lightly."
I know that formulated the question a bit dramatically... my sister is simply acting like crazy (calling at 2-3 a.m, wanting to jump from the window with the child, police has also been involved once), my mother is totally devasteted, as my sister is now convinced that she has a cancer, although medical analyses are all right. The truth is that she canīt handle the relationship in a non destructive way, she represents already a danger for her child, neglecting him.
I noted the conjunctions, I thought that sun, moon, venus, mercury are easy planets and then the conjunctions should be great?... In the composite there are challenging aspects involving saturn, maybe this is a possible reason.
03-22-2007, 04:27 PM
Conjunctions between people are intense and strongly felt in each person. In situations where the relationship is going well and BOTH people are working on the relationship, the couple can "weather out" this intensity (i.e., the "ups and downs" of relationships), but in situations where one person is overpowering or dominating the other, the conjunctions can form an unbreakable bond that pushes the challenges and conflicts strongly on each person.
And there is also your sister's chart itself. Your sister has a Grand Trine (strong energy) that very easily links the emotional house focuses in her life. As as a result, your sister is "comfortable" with having an emotional response and this becomes the way she escapes from things when they become too difficult for her to face. The greater the stress, the more likely she is to be emotional. As you know, the challenge is, no matter how "easy" an emotional response is for her, it does not help her SOLVE the problem. There are also MANY challenges in her Mars (being, also anger) energy, so she may get angry or feel surrounded by anger...which increases her emotional "compensation".
Just be careful YOU do not get pulled into her emotional responses. As "easy" as they are for her, they must be VERY difficult on everyone else! Help her all you can by remaining firm, strong, and RATIONAL. And, ultimately, as difficult as it is for you, it HER life and SHE must do what she feels she needs to do.
you hit the point, my sister tends to be very emotional... all these nerf crises stuff and jumping out of window and lamentation, but no constructive answers to problems in her life. I know that this is her life, but it is very frustrating to see how she just cannot handle her life and sometimes I would like to put her in a madmanīs jacket and take her to a hospital for insane persons, because she returns like a little chicken to the old guy who hypnotizes her like a serpent. I have the impression that he lives on her energy, she getting more and more exhausted every day...
Iīd like to add the last point... I noted that his NN is in scorpio, so he needs emotions and intensity in this lifetime (my sister is thus his perfect teacher). But my sisterīs SN is conjunct his sun.... this should mean that in the long run he hinders her spiritual development, doesnīt he?
03-22-2007, 09:48 PM
Sounds right to me! In fact, I was going to mention that, but with all the other challenges in the chart, I thought it might be "overkill" in the presentation. He "burns her out" and keeps her in the past.
i ran a composite chart up for your sister's chart and it is as bad as you say it is.there is a saturn/pluto conjunction opposed to chiron and square to the moon.this shows your sister[moon] is subject to harsh mental domination by her husband.the chiron element indicates that he is emotional cold and cruel.the venus/mars midpoint is conjunct her moon indicating that she does love him.the mars/vesta conjunction is square to juno showing that much dedicated energy is expended on making the relationship work.uranus is square to the moon also which shows that she is under great mental stress.as the uranus is also conjunct saturn/pluto conjunction,this relationship will not last.much caution is needed as the uranus/pluto/saturn stellium can show physical violence.and if she were to leave ,she would have to do it suddenly and without letting him know before hand.as he would try to restrain her physically.check your private messages as i sent you more information.
I actually had a relationship with similar overtones although there was only 1 year age difference. The composite chart had Moon Pluto Uranus conjunct opposite saturn. Venus square mars showing an incompatibility with the perceptions of gender. However Jupiter was trine Aquarius in air signs which showed the love connection.
It went on 18 years, since I was 18 so was very impressionable but so was he. I understodd it to be an incredible unconscious drive to control the environment of the relationship. It initially broke up on his finding another person. Traumatic just isn't the word. Well worse than that. The most difficult thing was that inside it was so subtlely controlling imperceptibly over the years. After the split I was a mess I had been through several years of depression and my health was fragile. I was given the name of a healer. I was very scepticle at first, but I needed something and the universe gave me this wonderful lady. I dont know whether you will get this stuff or not, but I will share it anyway as it may bring some understanding. There are etheric connections from the solar plexus between partners and the energy flow between can be very unequal. Also control can be applied through the crown chakra, like his energy was overlaying mine so I could not see myself properly.
He came back after three months but during that time I had been seeing a healer. And he did not have the control anymore I was able to stand firm in my own space and say it didn't feel right. The negative energy directed at me was strong which enforced my perceptions. I could not say no to him moving into a spare room, but could not reconcile either. After having seen the emotional blackmail for what it was and realising he was not giving me anything positive, there was no way I could accept thing. He just left when he could not control.
His mars is conjunct my pluto/uranus conjunction! Pluto was sitting right on top of my sun in my transit chart when he left first. It was very difficult to ignore those aspects.
So what do I recommend well, I asked the universe for help. The lady was trained as a kinesiologist but is also one of the most spiritually wise people I have ever met and I have met lots in the last few years.
I would start with distant healing of unconditional love. This will change the links, soften them. The danger is forming an energy of the smae power in opposition to this man which amplifies the fear. Coming from love the more your sister loves her self and has a sense of veing loved unconditionally the less power can be enforced.
Love & Light to you both,
Thank you Flea,
I will transmit these messages to my sister, bc she is the only one to take the decision. However I have the feeling that for her it is difficult (just as it was for you) to be herself in this relationship and maybe through this partner the univers forces her (in kind of radical way) to find herself.
But 18 years in such a rel must have been quite radical... I hope he was not violent.
I hope it helps. No physical violence, I couldn't have stayed in that situation. As I tried to communicate it was so subtle being in the middle of it.
Love & Light
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