Help! Mars in 7th house.

[Redgypsi]

I have had a long term relationship end. And I trying to figure out why I keep getting these controlling, committment phobic, womanizing men. Does this have anything to do with having Mars in my 7th house?
And is there any way to fix it?
Here is my chart. Can someone tell me if there is hope for a long term, loving relationship?
:(

[holly]

I would like to have a go at this (I love to learn, and you only learn by practicing!), but I am a beginner so don't take anything I say as 100% correct/the truth unless someone backs me up. I welcome correction from more experienced astrologers.


With Aquarius on the Descendant (and Mars in Aq), you may be attracting the type of man who is emotionally distant, with a deeply ingrained need for freedom. He may feel "claustrophobic" when the relationship gets serious, and as this is an uncomfortable feeling, he needs to "break away."

Your Sun is in Libra, so you may like to spend a great deal of time with your partner. Being in a relationship feels comfortable for you, and you may not understand why he is so elusive. I think your different viewpoints could be a source of conflict in a relationship. You want to be a couple that does everything together and wants to be with each other all the time, wheras he sees that kind of bond as a threat to his independence. You see him as being commitment-phobic (which he may infact be) but it can work if you understand where each other is coming from.

Mars in the seventh means you expend a great deal of energy into the relationship. You may do a lot for your partner, by putting their interests ahead of your own. It's possible some people see this as weak (coupled with your Libran Sun that is famous for indecision - another trait that can be misinterpreted as 'weak') and you may be taken advantage of or "controlled."

Can someone tell me if there is hope for a long term, loving relationship?

Of course there is! Good luck finding a nice man! :)

[Redgypsi]

Thanks for the information. For just beginning you are so right on! I just wonder if there is any hope to change it. Thanks again. What you said really highlighted some key issues surrounding my past relationships.

[IntoAstro]

When did your long term relationship end and these current problems begin?

You entered a 12th house (Cancer) profection at your last birthday, ruled by the Moon in Leo which opposes Mars and is close to where Saturn stationed retrograde.

Did anything significant happen with regards to relationship around 28 Feb?

Also, with Mars in the 7th, I wonder, do you find that you become closer to people once you've argued with them?

I have quite a few friends with this placement (most of them are happily married, btw) and the common theme I notice with them is that they seem to consider someone a much closer friend once they've had an argument.

[holly]

Thanks for the information. For just beginning you are so right on! I just wonder if there is any hope to change it. Thanks again. What you said really highlighted some key issues surrounding my past relationships.

Of course you can change it. Knowledge is power, and now that you are aware of your perspective and what your partner's perspective may be, you can make a plan to deal with it.

You can try to start a relationship with the kind of man you would not normally be attracted to. Or if you find yourself in a relationship with a "commitment phobic" kind of man again, you can make arrangements to deal with it. Once you know where people are coming from, you can be more tolerant.

I'm an Aquarian myself, in a relationship with a Libran man. We work around our differences with a lot of tolerance and understanding. Our relationship works because he allows me A LOT of freedom. It can be done.

I don't believe Mars in the 7th makes somebody argumentative, as Mars is not an argumentative planet. Mars is about direct action, with a purpose. Mercury would be more inclined to argue, because as the ruler of Gemini, it wants to explore different points of view. Air signs like mental stimulation and arguing for the sake of the mental exercise, so I would be more inclined to suggest Aquarius on the cusp of the 7th as a possible indicator as the urge to argue in relationships, not necessarily Mars in that placement.