Help.. I am dating a Cacer moon

[aquacato]

I know most people would probably love to have this kind of boyfriend.. but lately I'm getting impatient and annoyed with him.. His mother is overtly possessive about him (as is evident with his moon in Cancer falling in his fourth house, without any major aspects with the personal planets).

He is aquarius with venus in Pisces in his twelfth house (with oppositions to Jupiter and Mars).. It seems like we have a problem with how relationships should be: I am a Virgo with venus in Libra, conjucting Jupiter and Saturn in my first house, so I am very outgoing and easily bored.. but he seems fine just staying in the house doing all the cuddling and kissing..

Actually, our aspects are very good, some website indicates that my Sun trines his moon, and his Jupiter also conjuncts my moon, but we somehow
don't have any major Pluto aspects with our personal planets.. For the first time in my life I really want to love someone for real (that is, one person at once), but I really can't stand the "dryness" and "over possessiveness" of his mother.. What should I do before I start ruining our relationship and ditch it completely..

His planets:
Sun in aquarius
Moon in cancer
Venus in pisces
Mercury in aquarius
Mars in virgo

My planets:
Sun in virgo
Moon in leo
Venus in libra
Mercury in virgo
Mars in cancer

Please give some insights..greatly appreciated

[Pisceanfool]

WOW... well he must be an interesting person... both moon and venus falling thier respected/ruled signs and in the same house even. It is clear your leo moon is not the best match with a strongly cancerian moon. He may be a die hard romantic which may overwhelm you but you do have a libra venus which could be a good mix with the piscean energy (both of you being romantic and devoted). You should really post both of your charts to do a more comprehensive synestry, but overall you should be good together.

Whats strange is his aquarian sun/mercury in the mix... i wish i could meet him just to see how that plays out. Anyway, I dont know how well you will do together just because you say you want more activity and he has his cuddly moon and romantic/sensitive venus. You may not be the best couple just because you say you like to be more social and he has such a cuddly/homebody nature.

If you can get along well and he is willing to do somthing fun once in a while then you guys could have a good relationship. With his mother... thats not his fault and you will really just have to deal if you want the relationship. Your Virgo influence may make you a bit too critical of your partners.

Remember that if you dont think you can do well together then there are billions of people out there. I cant tell you what to do that's totally up to you, but you guys could have a good relationship... post both charts so we can see a little more in detail (hopefully you know both times of birth because the asc/dsc and vertex makes a big diff).

[aquacato]

Hi,
Thank you so much for your reply.. but I kind of have no idea how to post our charts together on this web.. can I leave our birth time and place to you instead..and I'm sorry for the inconveniences..
He is an interesting person, but I think he's too emotional, maybe it has to do with his profession (he writes songs and his family owns a advertising/entertainment management firm).. I am interested in music and art too, although I somehow managed to double major in law and art history..

His data:
1980/1/29
9:00 AM
Taipei

My data:
1981/8/29
7:30 AM
Kaohsiung

Thank you

[wilsontc]

aqua,

If you don't like emotions, you'd better stay away from a person with Cancer (home, also emotions) modifying Moon (home, also emotions) focused in the 4th house (home, also emotions)! ;) Emotions are VERY much a part of this person. And the connection to Mom and home (also Cancer/Moon/4th house things) is VERY strong.

You have Moon focused in your 11th house (friends), so you like to be "friends" emotionally (close but not TOO close). He is DEFINITELY closer than you would like. However, his chart (with more of his planets at the top right of his chart) indicates he uses relationships to do things for others, and so his always wanting to do things for you goes well with you, since all your planets are focused on the left (self) side of the chart.

However, since you have Venus (relationships) focused in the 1rst house (being, also action), you may like to "conquer" in relationships. And, since he is clearly well-conquered you may find yourself getting bored with him.

Overall: if you are looking for a "friend" who will give you some space in a relationship...it's not this guy! He will tend to be clingy and VERY emotional...two things you can't STAND!

What you do is, of course, up to you! ;)

Relating,

Tim

[aquacato]

Thanks for your reply..
So far we are doing OK, although sometimes he takes everything I said (including the words of our arguments) seriously..I kind of feel like he is
very fragile, so I can't say anything too strong to him.. but something happened few days ago and I was really upset, he tried to hurt himself
after I told him we are better off as friends.. but then we got back together
because I still kind of have feelings for him..
I told him next time if he does it again, I am jetting for sure.. I really can't and don't want to deal with this kind of emotional outbursts of his.. I am not
the type of person that knows exactly how to deal with this kind of thing.. I don't want to be heartless, but it's just when someone does that I just
automatically turned cold.. I don't want to but I just do.. I told him please don't ruin our relationship because of this selfish and stupid act, I was sad because he tried to hurt himself.. am I doing the right thing? I just don't know anymore..

[wilsontc]

aqua,

Someone once said the definition of "insanity" is "doing the same thing and hoping for a different result." You DESPERATELY want him not to be emotional. And it simply ISN'T going to happen. He is going to be emotional and clingy and do emotional, clingy things to try to make YOU emotional and clingy...which won't work. If you can accept him as emotional and clingy, fine, but if you "don't want to deal with this kind of emotional outbursts of his" then leave him...or he will drive you "insane"! ;) And if he is so emotionally desperate that he tries "emotional blackmail" such as threatening to hurt himself if you leave...do you REALLY want to have to deal with that all the time, going forward?

Asking questions,

Tim

[Pisceanfool]

Relationships are a two way street... you can't expect to be happy when you don't want to be with with him. He will always be emotional, the moon is emotion... and the moon rules cancer for a reason. I know i am way more emotional then most guys with my piscean moon.

Staying with him just because he will hurt himself or be hurt emotionally then niether of you will ultimatly be happy... we must love ourselves before we can love anyone else.

Hope this helps...

[aquacato]

aqua,

Someone once said the definition of "insanity" is "doing the same thing and hoping for a different result." You DESPERATELY want him not to be emotional. And it simply ISN'T going to happen. He is going to be emotional and clingy and do emotional, clingy things to try to make YOU emotional and clingy...which won't work. If you can accept him as emotional and clingy, fine, but if you "don't want to deal with this kind of emotional outbursts of his" then leave him...or he will drive you "insane"! ;) And if he is so emotionally desperate that he tries "emotional blackmail" such as threatening to hurt himself if you leave...do you REALLY want to have to deal with that all the time, going forward?

Asking questions,

Tim

Actually, I do not want to deal with it at all, not to mention at all times.. so it's true that he won't change to the better, although he has promised me the condition will improve.. Last night while we were on the phone, he told me that he had taken some pills (for his psychological illness) as a way to release his stress.. I was angry and told him what is worth for you to do such hurtful deeds to yourself.. I think he's just trying to get my attention, but I'm kind of sick and tired of it..
I told him the minute we met that I was going to study abroad, and I was going to leave.. he knows this, but he told me that he's been waiting for me to appear and have a "stable" relationship.. I told him I'm not a stable person and my life is yet to begin.. what is he thinking? I really like him, but I don't know how to deal with his emotions.. they wash over me and drives me insane.. is it because my moon is in the 11th house aspecting uranus..Gosh I start to hate my indifferent moon now.. sigh.. I wish I was more emotional, but I have tried, and I just can't do it..
What I don't understand is, he told me he'd had few flings with numerous women, but how come he still acts like it's the first time he'd fallen in love with me? I just don't get it..

[aquacato]

Relationships are a two way street... you can't expect to be happy when you don't want to be with with him. He will always be emotional, the moon is emotion... and the moon rules cancer for a reason. I know i am way more emotional then most guys with my piscean moon.

Staying with him just because he will hurt himself or be hurt emotionally then niether of you will ultimatly be happy... we must love ourselves before we can love anyone else.

Hope this helps...

I was with a Libra (moon Gemini, Mercury Venus in Libra, mars aquarius and rising aquarius) man, and he was like "airy", like he was there but when I needed him the most, he seems never there.. but he liked to control (moon in the fourth, venus in the eighth).. and our venus and pluto aspected..
But that guy was a loser because he was not nice to me, and regarded my ability to speak for myself as a threat to his authority around me.. we broke up after six months.. This guy actually came in my life as a surprise, he just ended a LONG six years relationship with his ex.. I felt glad that I met him, because we have so much to talk about.. but when he told me about his suicidal tendencies I was just very shocked..
I realized that me and my guy DON'T have any PLUTO aspects within our personal planets, but our planets PLUTO are in our seventh house.. what does this indicate? Thanks..

[wilsontc]

aquacato,

Pluto (transformation, also control) focused in the 7th house (relationships) indicates someone who is controlled by or wants to be in control of relationships. The challenges for thes Pluto people is to learn to SHARE control in relationships.

Relating,

Tim

[aquacato]

aquacato,

Pluto (transformation, also control) focused in the 7th house (relationships) indicates someone who is controlled by or wants to be in control of relationships. The challenges for thes Pluto people is to learn to SHARE control in relationships.

Relating,

Tim

I see, so he's possessive and insecure due to his moon placement, and our composite chart produces this kind of situation..
What should and can be done on my part to make him feel more secure? Is this at all possible?? If I was uglier or shorter would he feel more secure?

[Pisceanfool]

Well if you still want this relationship and want to make him more secure(which is good anyway even if you do break up), then let him know why you like him. let him know what makes him special and lovable. Point out his talents and appreciate them, appreciate that he cares more then most guys. Also if he is the jealous type, (honestly havn't drawn up both charts since there has already been good insight on them) then don't look at other guys or talk about other guys in the sense of being attracted to them. Again let him know why you like him... and if you do leave him let him know that there are other women and they may appreciate the emotionalism/romanticism more. Let him know it is not him it is you, you are not the best together, he is "perfect" for whoever is "perfect" for him (that goes for anyone).

[Innerdepths]

I dated a cancer moon person around a year ago. I found that he was very clingy and needed somebody around 24/7 which my sun/uranus opposition didn't like. I would tell him that I needed time to myself and he'd go bawling his eyes out to a friend thinking that I'd dump him.

My conclusion with dating a Cancer moon person is that they need to learn how to manage their emotions and clinginess. Interesting to say, my moon is in Cancer. Am I clingy, NO. I use my moon energy intuitively when I'm around others. At the moment I'm trying to create a life for myself without becoming clingy or dependent on the other person for a "life".

I appreciate my own company and place importance in balance in a relationship. The days in my youth - I was different as day and night. I had a boyfriend who in the beginning we would spend every day together and then the time together dropped. I got insecure and was crying all the time. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I figure, now, that we spent too much time together in the start. It's always good to spend a few days away.

Insecurity issues have nothing to do with the other person - it all has to do with the person who feels insecure. I have found insecurity in a relationship to be horrid. (It can be like a death blow - as I did lose my first true love). With something like that I think it is best to seek some help on the issue. (My feeling of relationships is that two people are together because they want to share their lives together - they can still have their friends and live their life too. Those are seperate areas). Security comes from the inside and what is usually happening inside can manifest outside.

Also with a cancer moon, SOME have serious hang ups about their mothers. Either they love their mom or hate them. I figure some incident happened in childhood that gets them clinging on or something. (I had mother issues growing up I went from loving her to hating her and then forced to stay with her - folks divorced). Now I don't have anything to do my my mother.

Out of curosity how old is the cancer moon person?

that's my 2 cents....

ID

[aquacato]

Well if you still want this relationship and want to make him more secure(which is good anyway even if you do break up), then let him know why you like him. let him know what makes him special and lovable. Point out his talents and appreciate them, appreciate that he cares more then most guys. Also if he is the jealous type, (honestly havn't drawn up both charts since there has already been good insight on them) then don't look at other guys or talk about other guys in the sense of being attracted to them. Again let him know why you like him... and if you do leave him let him know that there are other women and they may appreciate the emotionalism/romanticism more. Let him know it is not him it is you, you are not the best together, he is "perfect" for whoever is "perfect" for him (that goes for anyone).

Recently I found that I actually begin to like him more.. but then I'm worried that when I actually leave to study in other countries, will he be OK? The answer is probably no.. I had a long talk with him again today, before he went back to his place.. I told him the consequences of liking me and what he will have to face at the end.. he doesn't seem to get it, or he knows
what is going to happen, but he is not feeling the shock right now..
He doesn't seem to want to break up now, and I do not want to irritate his feelings more.. I think so far I did a good job to make him feel secure.. but I told him I need time to think about things.. right now I feel very overwhelmed with all kinds of mixed emotions..

[aquacato]

I dated a cancer moon person around a year ago. I found that he was very clingy and needed somebody around 24/7 which my sun/uranus opposition didn't like. I would tell him that I needed time to myself and he'd go bawling his eyes out to a friend thinking that I'd dump him.

My conclusion with dating a Cancer moon person is that they need to learn how to manage their emotions and clinginess. Interesting to say, my moon is in Cancer. Am I clingy, NO. I use my moon energy intuitively when I'm around others. At the moment I'm trying to create a life for myself without becoming clingy or dependent on the other person for a "life".

I appreciate my own company and place importance in balance in a relationship. The days in my youth - I was different as day and night. I had a boyfriend who in the beginning we would spend every day together and then the time together dropped. I got insecure and was crying all the time. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I figure, now, that we spent too much time together in the start. It's always good to spend a few days away.

Insecurity issues have nothing to do with the other person - it all has to do with the person who feels insecure. I have found insecurity in a relationship to be horrid. (It can be like a death blow - as I did lose my first true love). With something like that I think it is best to seek some help on the issue. (My feeling of relationships is that two people are together because they want to share their lives together - they can still have their friends and live their life too. Those are seperate areas). Security comes from the inside and what is usually happening inside can manifest outside.

Also with a cancer moon, SOME have serious hang ups about their mothers. Either they love their mom or hate them. I figure some incident happened in childhood that gets them clinging on or something. (I had mother issues growing up I went from loving her to hating her and then forced to stay with her - folks divorced). Now I don't have anything to do my my mother.

Out of curosity how old is the cancer moon person?

that's my 2 cents....

ID
Thank you. He is 27 years old, one year older than me.. I can tell that he is insecure, but he does not want to show it.. sometimes when a man pass me by, he'd hold my hands closer and things like that.. I haven't felt this way for years now, I think..
How long will this happiness last again? I have been through this few years ago, with my university boyfriend.. the parting at the end was literally a mental death for the both of us, also due to me having to return to my own country.. but I went on dating or somewhat dating other men, but he told me some days ago that he still can't forget about me.. I just don't want to owe any men anything anymore.. I'm so tired of all these emotional hangups.. This boyfriend is wonderful so far, but he is very observant and highly sensitive, I suspect that when I leave, he will feel extremely painful.. or if we break up.. tell me I'm wrong..

[aquacato]

I finally got our composite chart done.. can someone help me to see if it is good or bad?? Thanks..
http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_621gw_01_02_maggie_ch_hp.76692.4605.gif&res=100&va=&cid=jwzfilej1fYpw-u1171550106

[aquacato]

SunConjunctionJupiter
MoonSquareUranus
MoonTrineMidheaven
MercuryConjunctionSaturn
MercurySquareNeptune
MercuryOppositionAscendant
MercurySquareMidheaven
VenusTrineMercury
MarsSextileSaturn
MarsSextileSaturn
MarsTrineUranus
JupiterTrineSun
JupiterTrineMercury
SaturnTrineSun
UranusSextileSaturn
UranusConjunctionUranus
NeptuneConjunctionNeptune
NeptuneSextilePluto
NeptuneSquareAscendant
NeptuneConjunctionMidheaven

[Sweet Stars]

If you can't handle an intense and clingy person then go find another.

[aquacato]

I like him alot, right now it's draining on my energy,
yet I seem to enjoy it, but when I find a job, things
will be different I think..
I hope it will work