lilllybelle
01-16-2007, 07:26 PM
I took a long vacation to see my family as Jupiter was entering my 4th house. I went to stay out in the countryside with my mother. It was a disgusting trip. Her house smelled so bad and was so dirty. She youst to keep a clean house. I decided the rip the carpet out to try to make it smell better. I thought this would be a 15 to 30 minute project. After 15 minutes I was tired. In true aries fashion I went and got my uncle and delegated the project to him and he worked on it for the next 4 days while muttering "if you wasn't my niece" under his breath.
My mother and I talked about my childhood. I knew she was still in denial of a lot of things she had done, but I wondered whether she would make wiser choices if she were put in the same position again. I found out a few days layter. This was the most time I has spent around my mother since I was 14 years old. A few days layter all hell broke loose. I want go through it all, but at one point I was hiding in a closet while a drunk man was running through the house trying to find me. It was my childhood all over again. Except for this time, I was able to see it with an adult's eye. The drunk man beat my father till he was bloody. I tryed to protect my family by locking the doors. My mother wanted to open the door for the guy so he could continue to pound on my father's face. I had to grab her and tell her I would whip her tale if she opened the door. I called the police and made sure that my father pressed charges. I saw as an adult how sick my mother is and how much she enjoyed the violence. My mother is a complete loon. No one in my family is talking to her now. I've made sure that as an adult I've lived a safe life. It was scary to have that safety taken away from me. Here's a few astrological observations relating to my trip. 4th house transits can definatley bring up old unresolved family issues. I have a moon in libra and I definatley played the part of the bridge between my parents. It is sickening when a person is in denial about parts of their astro/psychological makeup. My mother has a moon in aries. She has always ran around trying to act like this sweet, meek, humble giving person. Her sun is in pisces. She is in total denial of her moon sign. She encouraged her previous husbands to beat the **** out of me and my sisters when we were growing up. If she expressed a healthy dose of aries self-assertion, she probally wouldn't of resorted to having her kids beat. I was having lunch with her and she was complaining about my father and how he always ran over her. I said maybe he was trying to teach her a life lesson about being more assertive. I told her that she wasn't that assertive. I hit a nerve. She flared up inside and said that she was quite assertive. I could see how angry my words had made her. I had put the key in the lock. My mother is in deep denial of her aries moon. In a way it is too bad for my mother that she spent most of my life trying to avoid me. She knew that my honesty would force her to see her evil ways, so she avoided me. It's funny my aries qualites always come out stronger when I am around my mother. I think she projected her aries qualites on to me. She tryed to make me feel ashamed to have my arian ways and yet she encouraged those same qualites in me and my arian ways would get exaggerated around her. I told myself that I didn't have to become the aries when I was around her even though I could feel her coaxing it out of me so she could be the ever sweet gentle lady. I also keep geeting this message over and over from life- I don't do justice to the aries in me when I try to sweeten my words to hide people from the cruelty of their actions. Sometimes you only get one chance to tell the truth. Trying to make peace with a person that my instincts are telling me to beware of is dangerous business. Well I've talked long enough. Sometimes it's really cleansing to get on here and share this stuff. I've had a hard time telling any of my friends what happened to me back home. The whole situation is embarresing to me. L.
My mother and I talked about my childhood. I knew she was still in denial of a lot of things she had done, but I wondered whether she would make wiser choices if she were put in the same position again. I found out a few days layter. This was the most time I has spent around my mother since I was 14 years old. A few days layter all hell broke loose. I want go through it all, but at one point I was hiding in a closet while a drunk man was running through the house trying to find me. It was my childhood all over again. Except for this time, I was able to see it with an adult's eye. The drunk man beat my father till he was bloody. I tryed to protect my family by locking the doors. My mother wanted to open the door for the guy so he could continue to pound on my father's face. I had to grab her and tell her I would whip her tale if she opened the door. I called the police and made sure that my father pressed charges. I saw as an adult how sick my mother is and how much she enjoyed the violence. My mother is a complete loon. No one in my family is talking to her now. I've made sure that as an adult I've lived a safe life. It was scary to have that safety taken away from me. Here's a few astrological observations relating to my trip. 4th house transits can definatley bring up old unresolved family issues. I have a moon in libra and I definatley played the part of the bridge between my parents. It is sickening when a person is in denial about parts of their astro/psychological makeup. My mother has a moon in aries. She has always ran around trying to act like this sweet, meek, humble giving person. Her sun is in pisces. She is in total denial of her moon sign. She encouraged her previous husbands to beat the **** out of me and my sisters when we were growing up. If she expressed a healthy dose of aries self-assertion, she probally wouldn't of resorted to having her kids beat. I was having lunch with her and she was complaining about my father and how he always ran over her. I said maybe he was trying to teach her a life lesson about being more assertive. I told her that she wasn't that assertive. I hit a nerve. She flared up inside and said that she was quite assertive. I could see how angry my words had made her. I had put the key in the lock. My mother is in deep denial of her aries moon. In a way it is too bad for my mother that she spent most of my life trying to avoid me. She knew that my honesty would force her to see her evil ways, so she avoided me. It's funny my aries qualites always come out stronger when I am around my mother. I think she projected her aries qualites on to me. She tryed to make me feel ashamed to have my arian ways and yet she encouraged those same qualites in me and my arian ways would get exaggerated around her. I told myself that I didn't have to become the aries when I was around her even though I could feel her coaxing it out of me so she could be the ever sweet gentle lady. I also keep geeting this message over and over from life- I don't do justice to the aries in me when I try to sweeten my words to hide people from the cruelty of their actions. Sometimes you only get one chance to tell the truth. Trying to make peace with a person that my instincts are telling me to beware of is dangerous business. Well I've talked long enough. Sometimes it's really cleansing to get on here and share this stuff. I've had a hard time telling any of my friends what happened to me back home. The whole situation is embarresing to me. L.