Mikey279x
12-31-2006, 11:04 PM
Recently I have come to terms with my sexuality and am in the closet. I usually work past the lonlyness quickly when I go out and meet friends and large groups Parties etc. but lately I've been focusing on love and meeting a partner and the depression has been getting the better of me to the point where there are periods of tempary isolation.
I have a close friend who I believe is a closted homosexusal. I generally detest probing someones mind, espically with the relization the number of gays out there are few, however for the past 1 1/2 I've been having certin hunches about one of my best friends. Straight males obviously make remarks about sexusal relations bewteen friends etc. But with him I feel there is something differnet. He is a close friend of mine, and many people tease him for his insecurities in a playfull way, espically at work, but I know he secretly feels bad about himself but doesn't usally say anything, he usually laughs it off but I know he doesn't like being poked fun even though people assume he knows they are kidding. for the past 1 1/2 months I've gotten to know him on a deeper level and and there are some things that flash my mind that are out of the ordianry.
we constantly mention we love each other, both at work while kidding as well as outside of work, however recently the joking has seemed more serious as if there is more to meet the eye, I've never experienced hunches like these before.
His father is the sterotypical mean mechanic who is the epitomy of a rough dad. I know he suffered from his father criticism growing up and felt as if he didn't live up to being the model man his father had hoped of in a sun.
I've fallen in love with him at this point and recently we attented a Christmas gathering at his cousins house (his Cousin is a best friend of us both) and he often exerts somewhat of a manly presence over him that makes him apt to feel as if he has to live up to the male standard and not express how he feels inside.
Every time him and I are alone we start making comments about how much we love each other, it ususally starts out kidding at first but now he sometimes refers to joking about promiscuous activtes bewteen him and I, and the seriousness over the joking.
He is not effimante but his presence in a room full of men gives off that he is not the man like everyone else..
I've lost my job about a week ago where I worked with him and all my other best friends and I went into a brief period of depression. and he was the first on the phone telling me he loved me and that I wa shis best friend
He is 21 and has had barely two girlfriends, both were mormon girls, the first one he broke up with and the second lasted 3 months..he's never engaged in any sexusal activity with them and it seems as if he is not intrested in women at all.. even when women call him up on his phone he decline meeting with them and doesn't even take pleasure in flirting..
he's rather attractive as well, so attractive that women have met him and asked him for his phone numer in public
If I didn't feel he was gay I would forget my love for him and move on, But I truly feel in my heart that he is indeed gay.
I'm growing more depressed daily because I cannot find a partner and I would thank anyone from the bottom of my heart twho could help in anyway analize our birthcharts.. his and mine.. and provide me with any answers..
Here is his birthchart
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v133/Guts279X/nhnhn.gif
I have a close friend who I believe is a closted homosexusal. I generally detest probing someones mind, espically with the relization the number of gays out there are few, however for the past 1 1/2 I've been having certin hunches about one of my best friends. Straight males obviously make remarks about sexusal relations bewteen friends etc. But with him I feel there is something differnet. He is a close friend of mine, and many people tease him for his insecurities in a playfull way, espically at work, but I know he secretly feels bad about himself but doesn't usally say anything, he usually laughs it off but I know he doesn't like being poked fun even though people assume he knows they are kidding. for the past 1 1/2 months I've gotten to know him on a deeper level and and there are some things that flash my mind that are out of the ordianry.
we constantly mention we love each other, both at work while kidding as well as outside of work, however recently the joking has seemed more serious as if there is more to meet the eye, I've never experienced hunches like these before.
His father is the sterotypical mean mechanic who is the epitomy of a rough dad. I know he suffered from his father criticism growing up and felt as if he didn't live up to being the model man his father had hoped of in a sun.
I've fallen in love with him at this point and recently we attented a Christmas gathering at his cousins house (his Cousin is a best friend of us both) and he often exerts somewhat of a manly presence over him that makes him apt to feel as if he has to live up to the male standard and not express how he feels inside.
Every time him and I are alone we start making comments about how much we love each other, it ususally starts out kidding at first but now he sometimes refers to joking about promiscuous activtes bewteen him and I, and the seriousness over the joking.
He is not effimante but his presence in a room full of men gives off that he is not the man like everyone else..
I've lost my job about a week ago where I worked with him and all my other best friends and I went into a brief period of depression. and he was the first on the phone telling me he loved me and that I wa shis best friend
He is 21 and has had barely two girlfriends, both were mormon girls, the first one he broke up with and the second lasted 3 months..he's never engaged in any sexusal activity with them and it seems as if he is not intrested in women at all.. even when women call him up on his phone he decline meeting with them and doesn't even take pleasure in flirting..
he's rather attractive as well, so attractive that women have met him and asked him for his phone numer in public
If I didn't feel he was gay I would forget my love for him and move on, But I truly feel in my heart that he is indeed gay.
I'm growing more depressed daily because I cannot find a partner and I would thank anyone from the bottom of my heart twho could help in anyway analize our birthcharts.. his and mine.. and provide me with any answers..
Here is his birthchart
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v133/Guts279X/nhnhn.gif