Why is she single?

[lilllybelle]

This lady that I know has been single for about 10 years ever since her husband, that she thought she was happily married to, just up and left. That break up occured when neptune and uranus were transiting through her capricorn stellium. If you look at her chart she has quite a few planets, along with her N.Node, in the 7th houes. I've noticed that a lot of people with a heavy aries/libra focus in their chart, like me, spend a lot of time single. Why is that? She has saturn in the 12th, so I know that ties into her being single. Why do you think someone with such a focus on the 7th house would be single for so long? I just realised that I don't have her birh data in a handy place. I'll go find it and come back. You don't necessarily have to look at her chart to chime in on this question. I'm sure a lot of us have noticed the abundance of single libras. L.

[lilllybelle]

She was born on 1-15-73 @3:50 P.M. in Portland, OR.

[2rainbows]

a couple guesses,
she has kids or a job interfering which take priority over her quest to find another;
10 years of being single is a long time, perhaps that is simply her preference; or her mind set may be hurt before, not again.
overall, libra is the sign of balance, perhaps being single is how libra feels most balanced.

[wilsontc]

Jo Ellen,

Since she also has Libra (relationships) modifying Uranus (friends), she may want to have "friendly relationships", close but not TOO close. Since Uranus square (energy needs to be combined with) her planets in the 7th house (relationships), this need for her own "space" is re-emphasized. Since she has Capricorn (duty, also career) modifying North node (future goals) focused in the 7th house (relationships), she may have a "relationship" with her career in some way, which substitutes for a human relationship.

Guessing,

Tim

[laliqueviolin]

Still a bit new to reading natal charts, but here goes:

In her heart, she may feel anxiety and depression about her past emotions bubbling up again(moon conj. Saturn in 12th in Gemini), the painful experience of having a husband or a partner(desc. 7th Cap) who isn't always there and the sheer thought that "loving"(and controlling, Venus sq. Pluto) another will possibly abandon her. I wonder if the husband/and father she married/grew up with was a flighty type? She has a lot of Capricorn influences, which I feel she can "do without" anyone; she builds herself as her own fortress, if you will. She could possibly heal her wounds if she learned a bit with an older figure or parental figure who will reassure her, for fears about other people's commitment will haunt her. Neptune is in 5th, the type of men she finds attractive is hard to get, possibly feeling she may never find that one person. I think she vaguely knows what her problem is though, but she needs crystal-clear clarity on this and about people whom she communicates with. It will help her emotions. Her Cancer rising gives a self-sufficiency and containment for survival, and maybe, she is still nursing that old wound that plagues her, and sometimes a bit more than that. :(

[lilllybelle]

I'm actually going to print this thread out and take it to the lady that I was talking about. It might help her to get some diferent perspectives. I think it may have something to do with uranus in the 7th also. Thank you everyone for the feedback.

[unukalhai]

Saturn/Moon conjunction on the 12th cusp: Emotions are difficult to access, and restricted by Saturn. Saturn's influence upon the moon is difficult, making it hard to connect with the feelings. Feelings can be made much more serious, and sharing them with others can be hindered. Emotional insecurity can also result from this configuration. It also speaks for difficulties with the mother, and possibly the relationship with her mother added to her potentially restricted expression of emotions.

Capricorn on the DSC: Her style of relating to others might be cold, too realistic, and too serious. People might find it hard to get close because of this. North Node near the descendent shows part of her life path is to work on how she relates to others.

Zero Water: Even including Chiron and Juno, the chart is totally devoid of water unless the angles are considered. Water has alot to do with the ability to bond with another soul, exchange compassion, and feel true love. Without water, it may be quite difficult for her to feel the love coming from another person, or to provide this energy to someone else. She may project a caring, nurturing vibe from her Cancer ascendant, but I would think with the Cap descendant as well as no other water in the chart, she would have trouble feeling that same vibe back from anyone else.

Chiron Square ASC/DSC Axis: She may be avoiding a relationship due to wounds received in prior relationships, or because of a fear of being wounded by a relationship.

All in all, too much influence from Saturn (even Venus is in Capricorn, in addition to the first two items above!) causing restrictions and seriousness, and not enough water to form the emotional basis of a relationship.

Also, Moon in Gemini will make her emotions flighty and intellectual.

[rahu]

hi lilly,
i go with the saturn/moon conjunction in the 12th opposed to the mars/neptune being a large part of her solitutde.12th conjunction indicates a lot of repression from the father figure and males in general .the mars/neptune conjunct shows she has a history of deceptive and untrustworthy males.so she is flat of tired of the represion and games.the other big part as wilson pointed out ,is the uranus square jupiter and mercury shows she is a very independent person.this aspect[uranus/jup] indicates divorce.the mercury/uranus square makes a person extreme set in there beliefs and isn't taht open to the comprimise of relationship.i assume her marriage ended because they grew in different directions
rahu

[unukalhai]

Interesting chart, it's got me thinking... hehe.

Good observation on the Mars/Neptune situation Rahu, I didn't catch on to that. Moon opposition Mars isn't really a friendly placement, it has its good sides but generally its a difficult position. I have this in my chart, within orb for opposition but my moon is ever so slightly back into the previous sign so it's a dissociate opposition. It doesn't help that my sun T-squares that opposition..

Also, Tim had pointed out that there was a Libra influence upon Uranus, which goes even further... The closest aspect (between planets) in the chart is Venus quintile Uranus! Venus, being the natural ruler of Libra, shows that what Tim mentioned is just all the more of a factor. Quintiles deal with highly refined forms of individualized expression, and a quintile often indicates a planetary cycle which we have "customized" to fit our unique style. Uranus is unique enough, and with the quintile aspect, it doubly shows the way she expresses love and harmony is going to be very unique. This can also cause one to be attracted to really unique people, or handle relationships in highly unconventional ways.

There's also a ton of intensity behind her Venus, that I hadn't noticed the first time I looked at the chart. It's square to Pluto by a little less than a degree, which is a major placement. There is so much intensity in this placement, it may make relationships such a consuming affair that she might simply feel better off alone. It also says the concept of a smooth, happy relationship might be all but a fairly tale for her, if she hasn't learned to handle the energy of this square yet... Yet, a smooth, easy relationship might not even interest her! Further supporting the massive intensity idea is that uranian object Vulkanus, which has the nature of Uranus except more potent (Vulkanus is pure energy and represents spontaneity, but also has the ambition and power of Mars/Pluto), is almost exactly in opposition to Venus. This makes Pluto the apex of a close-orb T-square. This is sort of like Venus having a party with a mafia don (Pluto) and a titan (Vulkanus). Apollon, known as a "super Jupiter" with a good dose of Gemini (expansive, broad, liberal, experienced, highly perceptive, eager to learn, scientific, overall a benefic object) conjuncts Pluto, showing that this apex Pluto is anything but diminutive, if that's even possible with Pluto.

What she likely needs is a partner who can handle her realism and intensity, and not mistake her Cancer-rising projection for being the submissive type. I wonder, does she feel most guys try to "roll over" her? Most guys seem to be after meek, submissive types who won't challenge their ego, and I don't think that is the lady with a Pluto/Apollon-apex-Venus/Vulkanus T-square with lots of influence from Saturn/Capricorn.

From the chart, I think it's safe to say she's not your ordinary girl... :D

Regarding Libra's and their lack of romance.. I think it's important to remember Libra doesn't really have so much to do with romance and intimacy as it does the basic art of relating. It's more broad... It covers all forms of relationships, from family to intimacy to total strangers, it simply likes to meet and interact with people. Any people! Intimate relationships aren't always going to satisfy Libra, in fact at times they can be too heavy and restrictive. Intimate relationships usually result in a reduction in "social butterfly" activity, which is really what Libra is about. Libra is air, and air doesn't like to settle down, commit, or really be serious at all. Libra can be the classic tease, although only because it combines the flirtyness of the air element with the desire and attraction of Venus.

As Aries is the opposite of Libra, it is strongly "go it alone" and independent. I find that people with strong Aries/Mars influences often don't have much true desire for a lasting relationship, but do have strong sexual desires and intense passions, with enough ambition to get what they want. But, That doesn't mean they wont want something different next week. Fire (Aries) and Air both share the quality of not staying in the same place for long. That's Earth and Water's job.

Intimate relationships are better defined by Scorpio, coupled with the self-expression and ego-aggrandizement of Leo.

[lilllybelle]

I will tell you what I know about this lady. She is very reserved. She keeps her thoughts to herself. You can see a lot of activity in her face when she thinks no one is watching, but she is very refined. She is very independent. She works a lot so that she can afford to live by herself with her pets. She knits and works as a massage therapist. She did have a relationship with a scorpio right after the divorce. What is interesting is the manner in which both the exhusband and the scorpio left her. From her perspective she was getting along well with both men, and in both cases the men just stepped out to the store one night, or something like that, and they never came back. She says that she felt so hurt, she really didn't want a relatioship until just recently. L.

[Teddybull]

Hello Lillybelle,
I can kinda relate to this woman....... I know I was shocked when my ex wanted a divorce after 15 years. I was content in the married and he just walked out and got married 4 months after our final divorce. I know I was going thru an exact trans neptune conjunct sun (deception thru males!) transit. Maybe while she was divorcing, her too...

I also have a stellium in cap (venus, mars, asc and Sat). Makes me very reserved. As I am older now, I am wiser about relationships which is why I am still single! I'm very independant, I know what I want and won't settle for much less. I am also very serious and am looking for much the same. I value stability, responsibility, friendship and emotional rashness (how venus in cappy!) and a deep spirituality more than that love at first sight, heart beating rapidly stuff.

Being single is not bad! It took a while for adjustment. Having all that cap and cancer planets in her chart, I think she is shy along with being very cautious. She might also just enjoy her own space. I also think when you are a serious person, like she is, most people will turn her off due to flippant attitudes.

[yelena234]

Dear lillybelle,

I see, that you are good in Relationships area, so I have question for you as all women above:

What do you think, why I am alone (not single, because I wanted to marry only one man from California, when I was 25 years old)?

I have seen some aspects of being single:

1. Venus in 9th,
2. Venus trine Neptun (to idealistic, my case),
3. Ruler of 7th is in bad aspect with planet in 7th (in my case, ruler is Mars in
10th, square Sun in 7th),
4. Uranus in 7th (likes freedom to much)
5. Saturn in 7th (late marriage),

and there are some else aspects, I can't remember now.

For me, I must say, that my love happens in abroad (ruler of 5th, Uranus in 9th) with foreigner there. As I am not in abroad, there is no love and no marriage (I am not so much for marriage, I am not kind of housewife!).

I was born April 27th, 1946 at 4:50 p.m. in Karlovac, Croatia.

I wish you nice day,
yelena234

[lilllybelle]

Hey Yelena, I wrote a response earlier, but fancy that, it didn't post. Must me mercury. Well I was apoligising for not responding to your question sooner. I hadn't checked this thread in a while, and I didn't realise that you had posted me a question. Well I looked at your chart and it left me scratching my head too as to why you don't have a sweety. The one thing I noticed is that you have about 4 planets in fixed signs. Maybe being single has become a pattern of comfort for you. Once a fixed sign gets set in their ways, it's hard to make them budge. I don't know I'm just guessing at that, and I don't feel like it is a very good guess. I do know that your progressed moon will be moving into the 9th house soon and jupiter will be entering your 3rd house. I would expect life to lighten up some for you. Your solar arc mars just recently moved into the sign of libra. You might be expending your energy in a more balanced loving way this year. Why do you think you are single? What do you think is root emotional cause of it? Do you think it just became easier to be alone. I'm going to go look at your chart again. L.

[Claire19]

I agree that Libra has to do with harmony accord, balance and equality. I have 5 planets in Libra including Venus and have never married. I also have sun conjunct 7th. Air signs are the most prone to unconventional love lives and can intellectualise and objectify love perhaps too much. 7th house is also open enemies, committed relationships including business and also our best friend for instance. Uranus in 7th in my experience guarantees separations and very often sudden or shocking or at least surprising. Again Uranus indicates freedom and unconventional attitudes so perhaps this person doesnt really desire to be tied down in a marriage situation or to be committed. Uranus in 7th can mean living in de facto or non legal situation also.....

Claire

[Celeste]

ouch... i have venus in 9th too,,,(taurus)... and i m an aries /leo with moon in libra... married to a scorpio /libra rising for 3.5 years divorced last feb,
saturn and sun in 8th house and jupiter cancer square to the moon... im terrified to look at the prospect of living alone the rest of my life.
here s my chart if you can relate somehow

[Claire19]

Uranus ruler of your 7th conjunct Pluto denotes the Scorpio partner. However I see possibility of another long term partner who may be younger, born around February or a Gemini. If you dont have a long term friend that fits this description or a previous partner, then look forward to this person.

Moon in Libra need partnership I know. You have good aspects for partnership in general. So hang in there.

Claire

[Celeste]

i dont know any gemini or ppl born in feb... and im never attracted to them... i always liked leos and sags ...and now this one taurus... can t you see a taurus instead of a gemini...? ;) i thought my ruler of the 7th was saturn..

[Claire19]

Hello there

The ruler of your 7th is Uranus as AQuarius is on the cusp. Look to the aspects to Uranus for clues to your long term relationships. I see that Uranus has been also transitting your 7th house and this accounts for break ups, sometimes they are unexpected, shocking, quick. WIth Uranus involved the partner wants freedom and sometimes novelty, or something or someone new. Sagittarius on the cusp of your house of lovers can account for attraction to these types. It is possible to have a Piscean as a potential partner or an enduring association. However a planet transitting and hitting a planet in your own chart precipitates the opportunities for love i.e. the 5th house and the 7th. You need to have an aspect already in the natal chart which is echoed in a transit for anything significant to transpire. Backed up with a progressed aspect it is a certainty.

Claire

[Claire19]

I agree that Libra is about relating, finding balance and harmony and mediation. This is why it rules the 7th of lower courts and legalities. It also about our attitudes to the general public and Libra is about negotiation, diplomacy and peace. It is about one to one relations such as counselling, doctor patient etc. Libra seeks partnership. The 7th is about contractual relations which is what marriage is really all about and business relations. Marrying for love is a more recent phenomenon in most societies.

The art of adjustment and compromise and working in tandem. Love and romance belong to Leo, the Sun and the 5th as do children.

Pluto and Scorpio is about sex, power and major transformations.

[Celeste]

thank you Claire... i do have a strange karma with pisces..they end up loving me without hope of being together and supporting me financially as well.some of them sacrifice alot for me.maybe cos i have part of fortune in pisces,,, uranus s been up and down my 7th for ages, i got married,divorced,met another man , he disappeared w out a reason, met this other guy, also vanished but says he ll talk to me soon.
can u look at my synastry chart w him so maybe u can see better if there are important aspects that might bring us together again...heres the link,the syn.chart is the 2nd one
http://www.freewebs.com/druuna/charts.htm
thank u so much !