Why i dont have friends and girlfriend? [Archive]

virgo18

12-07-2010, 06:15 PM

I am seeing that your 11house(moon in aries) rules in the 8th (house, house of death, and transformation, partner's money).... this mean a strong dependency to others, abandonment from friends, death of friendships in general... You tend to have high expectations from others, also you tend to project the need of unconditional love from friends and partnerships. The moon is in aries, friends tend to disappear very abruptly.
-Squaring Mars in the 5th(lovers, children, creativity)... you project a quarrelsome image to women of your 5th house. At least, that's what you seem to be for them.
-Trine Uranus in the 4th... I think you are the kind of person detached from friends, or someone who prefers to be alone at home with parents.

You cannot be that demanding if you are not giving regard. So if your friends disappear, it makes me think that you don't look for them, waiting that some day your friends look for you. But it seems you are not doing anything to improve you friendships. (That's what I am seeing in your chart)
Did you use to call your old friends? Or they used to call and invite you until they got tired? Tell me..

You are Mercury in Libra in the 2nd,
you sextile Saturn in the 4th, and squaring Neptune in the 5th, and again... you project an image of shyness and of someone who prefers been called by friends instead of calling your friends. Also you are more comfortable in home... But also you don't like that from you.

Neptune in the 5th makes me think that all matters of the 5th house are elusive, go as fast as they came and vice versa.

You will get married to someone, it is pointed in your chart. So don't worry.

Try to call your friends and have a meeting again. Remember that in this life you have to give if you want to be regarded.

Whatever I can help you. I am here.
Sorry 4 my english

waybread

12-07-2010, 10:07 PM

Self-esteem issues are probably indicated by your Neptune square sun and Mercury. The sun indicates your sense of identity, and Neptune is constantly eroding it. This aspect does show up in many charts of people with drug or alcohol problems, so just make sure you are not self-medicating to try to feel better, as Neptune rules not only illusions, but also bitter disillusionment. This does not mean that there is objectively anything the matter with you, merely that you are wired to feel as though there is.

I wonder if you give off a very intense energy. Your avatar seems paralled by your sun square Uranus. This can give you feelings of living in a pressure cooker, with a lot of inner tensions. See what you can do by way of athletics or active outdoor sports to release some of this tension!

With Jupiter retrograde in the 7th, you no doubt have a sense of humour, yet you come across as very intense and serious. But with Mercury sextile Saturn, you have a good analytical mind. Are you good at math?

Your house of friends is ruled by the moon, which squares mars. So are you apt to be moody, with moods that come and go, and may even erupt in anger? So of course you can have friends! But try to see yourself from their perspective when a bad mood strikes. You describe yourself as "obnoxious": if you can think of incidents that bolster this harsh assessment of yourself, see what you can do to correct it.

Things don't look so fatal to me in the girlfriend department. Probably you want a very intense relationship, and occasionally this makes guys afraid to take the first step; or very controlling, once they do. I think it's just a question of keeping yourself in circulation where you will meet lots of young women, and waiting for the right one to roll up in your life. Then do what you can to be happy in her presence. Need has a way of placing emotional demands on the other person that sometimes she is unprepared to shoulder.

asmodee

12-08-2010, 01:02 PM

Hi Fireboy,

Your Venus in scorpio is difficult, but you will benefit from it later.

You may feel easily betrayed, don't like superficiality, hate playing roles and hate people who wear masks. Nowadays almost everyone wears a mask.
Also, scorpio in a feminine, receptive sign; All that means that it is difficult for you to play the "dating game". (all the "confident" "act like a real man" bull****)
Actually the whole dating game is probably the hardest part for you, because you don't play games, you need honesty, which is almost banned there.

Now the good part :
venus in scorpio is magnetic. learn to use it, discover how you can attract people by just being yourself. venus in scorpio isn't comfortable in a bar, but is at home in bed, instincts are very good.

Your mars is in capricorn : like Brad Pitt. (that's the good part)

So my patronising advice is :
-avoid bars, go to library, health/vegan stores, hike in nature...I mean "healthy" places (girls are there)
-use your natural magnetic power (don't do anything, let the girls come to you, like the pied piper, except the girls are not like rats..and you don't have to play any instrument)
-avoid people with bad vibes at all cost.

and btw, I don't have any friends either. who needs friends ? I have a guinea pig

divine g

12-08-2010, 03:36 PM

Fireboy,

Well, my 1st instincts, looking at your Virgo Sun, is that you may come across as too critical to others, who are in your sensitive Pisces-ruled 7th. You may have a sharp tongue, and not realize it, or your 7th house relationships just may be too hyper-sensitve. I've experienced this lately, as my Ascendant has progressed to Virgo, and honestly, I appreciate not having fake, illusory friends!

You Aries Moon paints a picture of someone with a very quick temper, definitely a bit of a hot-head, but it's conjunct your North Node, so this is your destiny. What you think may be a weakness may turn out to be your strength. Your chart's emphasis on Aries is a big factor in your loneliness, as Aries is the sign of independence, strong will, and being a lone wolf type.

Your Sun in the 2nd shows that you do value yourself highly, but square your Neptune, others may not be able to see what you see in yourself. Either way, you should use your Aries moon to keep pushing forward, and not wait for the slow-pokes who dont recognize your true worth.

Your Pluto conjunct Venus in the 3rd gives you a very penetrative mind, constantly scrutinizing relationships. This in itself may keep others from getting too close to you as others may feel as if they're being watched with an eagle eye. Scorpio is known for being paranoid and trusting no one, so when they keep their distance, it may make you more paranoid and distrustful, so the cycle continues.

This is your chart, this is who you are, I think you should embrace it. Your Virgo Sun in 2nd, your Aries Moon conjunct North Node in 8th, plus Venus/Pluto in Scorpio paint a picture of a very intense person who plays for keeps, and that intensity is not for everybody.

Use this intensity to explore yourself more deeply, and astrology will help you do that. It may take alot of time, but as others said, it will be worth it. In the future, I think that Jupiter retro in your 7th will "bless" you with the good fortune of meeting a past life soulmate, then one day you'll realize, you never really needed or even wanted these "friends" who have disappeared from your life. Scorpio is all about elimination, so you have to eliminate all the bad before you get to the good. Virgo is all about cutting the chaff from the wheat also, so fear not. You'll get to your diamond in the rough if you keep on digging.

waybread

12-08-2010, 03:41 PM

fireboy, two things.

1. As harsh as this sounds, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

A "poor me, I'm so pathetic" attitude is a huge turn-off to potential friends. It makes you project massive amounts of need onto other people--as though they're the ones who are supposed to make you happy. There are happy hermits out there. Once you become OK in your own skin, you won't frighten people away.

Look for people less fortunate than yourself. Volunteer at a local food bank, soup kitchen, animal shelter, or homeless shelter.

You don't mention if you are working or are in school. It is extremely important, if not, that you get out of the house.

2. Sometimes profound unhappiness has a physical cause. When did you last have a physical with your family doctor? Ask him/her about a referral to a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist. Depression, for example, is a medical condition, not some kind of moral failure, and it can be treated.

You need to get outdoor physical exercise every morning. Medical studies have shown that exercise and getting sunlight on your retinas (which happens even in bad weather) is about as effective as taking anti-depressants.

Horus

12-08-2010, 09:21 PM

Hello,well,i would like to know why im so solitary person,so unlikeable/obnoxious to the others, all the old friends that i knew have forgotten me.Also i never had a relationship with a girl,just...dont know why all going this way,is my chart so unlucky or whatelse?:sad:Whats going wrong?:pouty:

I thank in advance.

15037

When people ask me why things like this aren't working out, I always check out what Saturn and Pluto (the chief malefic nasties) are doing.

Saturn, Lord of Karma, is squaring your AC/DC magnetic axis. This is the planet of fear, limitation, blockages and tests putting frictional pressure on your rising sign persona (the way you behave toward others) and your relationships -descendant. Saturn delays but does not deny, so if you figure out what it wants from you specifically and do it or learn it, then things will go more smoothly for you. The clues for that are given by looking at its sign and house, then its aspects, reading up on it on the web, and figuring out just how much of it applies to you. Some of it will be obvious, other things that astrologers write will have to be eliminated. Use your gut intuition.

I recommend Alan Oken
http://www.alanoken.com/articles.htm
and
this guy:
http://www.myastrologybook.com/planets-in-houses-astrology.htm
http://www.myastrologybook.com/planets-in-signs-sign-of-planet.htm

And there's a host of little cookbook defs. out there at Skyviewzone, Cafe Astro, Astro-Numerology, etc. Copy&paste them into a doc and look at them all together. Remember that planets are the what, signs the how, and houses the where. Saturn as discipline/structure/fears is is applying to the home/ inner psyche foundation/4th house in the style of Saggitarius. Philosophically? Exploring, excessively, expansively, etc. --Sagittarian keywords.

Pluto is conjuncting Venus in Scorpio. Venus is in its detriment here so this usually indicates love karma and the need to learn a lesson this lifetime. Scorpio transforms, and Scorpio's ruler, Pluto, transforms, so your idea of what love is needs to change. Venus in Scorpio (which I have too) usually needs to learn the difference between passion, desire and needs (which may feel like "love") and really caring for another person.

Usually the way through such obstacles (negative karma) is to direct your focus on how you can help others: altruism, volunteer work, etc. (positive, balancing karma) as Waybread suggested. Such are situations where you can also meet new people and make friends.

LittleMiss

12-09-2010, 07:37 PM

Hi there!

I would say Mars in Capricorn is a very strong placed Mars, which indicates that you can reach most goals you set for yourself. It is also trine your sun, and MC and sextile your jupiter. I see alot of opportunity for entusiasm and energetic drive there to get what your Sun placement wants and needs, and even reaching your life goals/MC!

Venus and Pluto placed in Scorpio gives you alot of magnetism, I'm sure! You just need to get to know it, and belive it!
I also think that with Venus and Pluto you can bring transformation for yourself through your dealings with others, you just have to find the key!

Read up on all the positive characteristics from your chart. Especially about your sun and moon. And learn to love and honor those parts of you!

You have both sun and ascendant in virgo, so if you just open up and starts to be around people I wouldn't think it will be difficult for people to get to know you. I think you can be a dependable guy which shows the same person that he is, which actually is a pretty good thing!

Have you read about Jupiter in 7th house? 7th house is the close one to one relationships we have, and jupiter the planet of luck, expansion and good fortune, wisdom and everything happy-go-lucky! I would like to have Jupiter there! AND it is in a trine to Venus!
I'm positive that other people will be a source of joy for you. But the most important thing is to learn to love yourself. I know it sounds like a cliché but it is. We can't be happy with other people if we're unhappy in our own skin.
Focus on what is good about yourself!!

:happy:

waybread

12-10-2010, 01:46 AM

OK Fireboy. Let's take you at your word. So your life is a mess and you aren't committed to being who you are in some kind of empowering way; even by taking small constructive steps. So now what? Sit home all day while your parent/s put a roof over your head?

I am beginning to see the problem: you are deeply committed to negativity and self-pity, and it is really difficult for other people to be around that. If you do not have a bona fide mental illness such as depression, then you have to develop a plan of action--possibly to be a happy hermit. Accept who you are--minus friends--and just get on with life. It is OK not to have friends. There is such a thing as the "good enough" life.

If you are clinically depressed and a visit to one psychologist was unhelpful, I suggest you get another psychologist. Some are better than others. Your family doctor can give you a referral. You may not be able to dig yourself out of a mental health hole alone, but you can seek professional help.

curiousgemini5885

12-10-2010, 02:24 AM

Sorry this has nothing to do with the thread. But I need help!
I want to ask people what they think my sign is, but I have no idea how to start a new thread.
Could someone help me out??
THanks

waybread

12-10-2010, 03:15 AM

Sorry this has nothing to do with the thread. But I need help!
I want to ask people what they think my sign is, but I have no idea how to start a new thread.
Could someone help me out??
THanks

1. Click on "Astrologers Community" at the top of the page.
2. Click on the "Read My Chart" board.
3. On the upper left of the new page, click on "start a new thread." Then type & post your message.

waybread

12-12-2010, 04:39 AM

It's not destiny, and you can change it. One psychologist who didn't help you does not a condemnation of the entire system make.

Or have it your way. Your life reeks, you're in a hole and have no way out of it, and everything is going from bad to worse. And the reasons are either in your horoscope or totally external to you, like other people. And if you're not working or not going to school, somebody else is paying the bills. for all of this.

No wonder you don't have friends. This must be awfully hard for other people to be around.

But now what? What do you really want in life? To wallow in self-pity, or to be happier and have a few people who like you?

juicey J.

12-12-2010, 06:12 AM

Well lets see you have the moon which, is emotions along with women in square to mars and the moon rules the 11th house of groups. Take heart there is light at the end of the tunnel. You have mars in sextile to jupiter in the 7th house and jupiter is the traditonal ruler of the 7th so you will in the end make friends who will be true and close ones. Also, the moon disposits into a exalted ruler which, will help you with overcoming feeling sorry for yourself.

Also, I think your planetary alignments are helping to get rid of the trash. Guess what if your so called friends aren't still your friends, chances are they weren't your friends in the first place. Also, as far as women goes, Quality not quanity. I honestly believe your dignified 7th house ruler with no afflictions and a trine from venus is going to help make you a good husband someday who won't cheat on their wife every time she turns her back because you will apperciate her and her love.

LittleMiss

12-12-2010, 09:48 AM

My fears seems to be confirmed from the chart,what virgo18,you,asmoder,LittleMiss said to me in the analysis most are true!!:pinched:

Did you actually read what LittleMiss said?

ssyx2005

12-12-2010, 11:13 AM

You will get married to someone, it is pointed in your chart. So don't worry.

I am really curious how you know that virgo 18??? Can u tell me which part of the chart says so??:innocent:

virgo18

12-12-2010, 04:28 PM

I am really curious how you know that virgo 18??? Can u tell me which part of the chart says so??:innocent:

The ruler Jupiter is in the 7th, and the co-ruler is in the 5th sextile mercury (he)

serafin5

02-27-2011, 02:22 AM

Dear Fireboy:

With all due respect, I heartily agree with Waybread: You really need to change your attitude. You have all these pre-conceived ideas about therapy and counceling but have you ever tried it? I think counceling might benefit you seeing as your chart as a whole is very intense indeed. I think your Aries moon don't help things either but nothing but a little humility can't cure (and experience). Get out of the house and into creation!

God Bless you Fireboy! Learn to love the unique person that you are!

Serafin5::joyful:

sleepy17

04-14-2011, 03:32 PM

virgo18

04-15-2011, 11:28 PM

Dear Fireboy

As I being reading what you post in this thread, all is negative like: I can't, I don't, I will not. All that affirmations will not let you out from where you are.
As a fact.... no one, neither a psychologist, a doctor, a witch, an astrologer will make magic to take you out from that dark cavern where you are... If you don't want to change by your own will!

You might use that sadness and unhappiness of your actual life to convert them in guts to change. like "I don't wanna be like this anymore! Thats why I will change"
For example, you can use a model to follow.... I dunno, any artist, or guy that you admire and you want to be like him... and follow he's steps.
Think about all things you can do easy; for example if you are good fixing computers, then polish that gift!

Stop making negative affirmations: "I cant" is the principal phrase that is making you feel bad unwittingly.

I think venus in scorp, moon in aries, and sun in virgo, and all your astrological profile doesn't has to do with your feeling.

Horus

05-06-2011, 05:54 PM

The negativity has stuck in my head all these years of my life,can you understand this virgo18,i grow up in a family atmosphere with full of negativity,full of misery,isolation,no happiness,its logical in my every thought to think first bad n negative and no with positive energy.

Yes,you are right,thats i know it well,i know nobody can help me if i dont first help my self,but you are wrong in the part you say "dont want to change by your own will",really you understand that I DONT WANT TO CHANGE??:confused:

How to do that?:eek: Now, im trying to asnwer in this part of your post,believe me,the first thought in my head was "I cant...to say I cant,I dont,I will not",seems ridiculous to you ,to everyone,i know that.

It's not ridiculous, it's quite common. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist so I see this often. If you can't exercise your "will" (Sun) to make changes then your subconscious mind (Moon) is clearly running the show and was conditioned negatively during your upbringing -as you noted. [Natal Moon sq. Mars -friction between action/assertion and subc.] Right now you are just in a hopeless and futile struggle with your automatic pilot. You would benefit from some reprogramming and healing work, but I doubt that you need long-term talk therapy, and you said you can't afford it anyway. However, a few sessions with a qualified hypnotherapist (Google for one in your town or open the yellow pages)would help you immensely to improve the quality of your life, so it is well-worth the investment. Afterwards you must follow-up by listening to a custom self-hypnosis CD/mp3 program nightly for a few months to reinforce the reprogramming work. Even a generic, non-custom audio program for $10-20 would help if it happens to contain the therapeutic suggestions that apply to your situation. Then you will notice that you feel better, your behavior will start to change automatically, and you will start to get better results. Work smarter not harder.

Munch

05-08-2011, 06:46 AM

Fireboy, I know its hard to change your mindset.

The first step is to stop making excuses for why you think negatively. They may be valid reasons as to why you now operate the way you do, but since you are aware of these reasons why, it's time to start denying them the ability to impede growth.

It takes effort. Monumental effort.

I have a Sun/Mercury conjunction in Capricorn squared by Saturn in the first house on my Asc. Pluto Square Mars. Pluto semi-square Moon and Mars trine Saturn.

If you have been studying your astrology, you understand that these are not easy aspects at all. They lead towards negativity at every turn, as well as defensiveness. You are trying so hard to protect your right to be hurt that you have surrounded that right with a brick wall that says, 'You don't understand!' to the outside world. The thing is, we DO understand. Many of us have been there.

My father was a quietly angry and resentful man that never participated in my life except to occasionally yell, scream and hit (thankfully, that didnt occur too much).

My mother abandoned my brother and me when I was only 3 months old.

I literally WATCHED my brothers get hit by a car, and one died. The other suffered horrible brain damage that has left him with a psychotic disorder in his adult life. My father refuses to have anything to do with him and my Mom (not mother) lives too far away to help. It's my responsability now.

I could go on and on and on. My point is, everyone has their pains. Sharing them is the first step, letting go is the next. It takes you DECIDING that you are done with negative thinking, and then not beating yourself up and quitting when you don't get it right right away.

No more excuses. We understand there are a million reasons that you shouldn't be happy, now try to understand that there are a million reasons why you SHOULD be.

We support you in your effort to progress and move towards happiness, but you must make the decision.

waybread

06-19-2011, 04:50 PM

Sorry to hear you're still unhappy, Fireboy. How much of the advice posted here have you actually taken?

virgo18

06-19-2011, 10:21 PM

Dear Fireboy

Happiness doesn't come from the outside...

danashock

06-20-2011, 01:12 AM

First, I hope you are thankful for all these people commenting on your chart and sincerely trying to help you, even though I have noticed you that you started several other threads before with much fewer replies.

I believe the replies were few because of your negative/self pitying attitude and not because you are an un-likable person.

I have seen your chart,and it's not bad and awful like you think it is.you can check out celebrity/famous people charts for reference,you will see that many of them had serious squares and oppositions but were still able to shift the energy to their benefit with enough focus and determinition, which is something you have in you with that mars in capricorn in the 5th sextiling jupiter (gives you lots of energy and an ability to work very hard).

Since your north node is in Aries,developing sef esteem and asserting yourself is one of the most important lessons that you will learn with building it steadily and with positive attitude.

Negative thoughts are like a hole,once you allow yourself to dwell on one bad thought,it will pull so many other bad thoughts (by the metaphysical law of association) and before you know it you will be digging a hole to yourself. So always try to monitor your thoughts best you can and think positively,it works, I promise!! :)

Try to find a passion,something youre really good at and spend your time cultivating and nurturing your OWN self and talents, and friends will come naturally. Many people have probably suggested this already but also going out atleast for walks regularly or joining some classes (like an art class or something) can really improve your mood and create natural settings for social communication to happen.

Good luck!