Please help I need guidance

[BellaLuna]

I have been in love with a man for 4 years now. Our relationship started while traveling to Florida on August 21, 2002, we were just friends which developed into more. We were both unhappily married, I was separating from my husband. He is currently still unhappily married. Three years ago on February 10, 2003 he was called back to active duty and served 14 months in Iraq. While in Iraq he informed me that he was coming home to be with me. Of course, when he came home he told me because of the children he couldn't leave and that it would have to be her to leave the marriage. The writing was on the wall, so I decided to move on with my life in fact 14 months ago I moved to San Diego 2000 miles away from him. We have communicated back and forth over the past 14 months, but just as friends until May 20th of this year. He called me out of the blue and asked if I have thought about moving back home to New Orleans. He was so excited because he felt like his wife was ready to give him a divorce and that his mother (yes as weird as this is going to sound) finally told him that she understood that he no longer loved his wife and if they would divorce she would accept it. I've been down this road before so I was guarded, but for a month he kept telling me that we would be together finally. Then he slowly started to pull away again. This time I was not sad but angry so on August 13th I called him and let him have it. I told him that I love him, but felt like he was wavering once again. I was tired of being hurt and not taking it anymore. He told me he understood but that I needed to have patience. The conversation ended badly. I am so confused. The one thing that I always felt confident in was that I knew that we belong together and that one day we would be. I can only describe it as a strong calm faith of knowing, but as months have turned into years I'm starting to second-guess my intuition. Am I just fooling myself? Can someone please tell me why I feel this way? Am I wasting my time with this person? When I move back home will this change our situation? I keep reading our charts over and over and I can't decipher it, I'm too close to the situation and need guidance. Please help! My b-day 7/2/69 9:30am and his 12/16/66.

[freedomlover]

Bellaluna,

The forum needs more accurate birth information on both of you in order to prepare the charts. You left out his birth time and place of birth for both of you.

[BellaLuna]

Unfortunately, I don't know his time of birth. He was born in New Orleans, LA and I was born in Thibodaux, LA. I have no other information.

[mathur_dinesh]

Hello,
I have examined your chart. I was somewhat handicapped as I do not have the chart of the gentleman.
Your chart shows marriage after a year.:)
Whether it would be with this person that you have referred to cannot be firmly said as I do not have the required data.:rolleyes:

[BellaLuna]

I wish I knew his time of birth, but if I would have to guess, I would say that he is a Scorpio or Capricorn ascendant. :confused: (Yes, I know two extremes, but no other signs suit his outer persona like these). He is eager to climb to the top, can be methodical, dark and secretive. He is very private almost to the point of paranoid. He has a strategic plan for his whole life, which he tries to control unsuccessfully. He is either feared or liked among his peers. He shows no emotions, except for the few rare occasions he opened up to me. He values loyalty and family traditions…he is an old wise soul. Not sure if any of this helped.

I have to admit that I'm quite surprised that you saw marriage in my chart especially since things seem pretty hopeless for us or for anyone who tries to get close to me at this time. I will be moving back home soon, perhaps this will change my circumstances.

I appreciate your help in looking into my chart especially since I couldn’t provide key information. :)

[wilsontc]

Bella,

You said:
I have been in love with a man for 4 years now...we were just friends which developed into more. We were both unhappily married, I was separating from my husband. He is currently still unhappily married...He values loyalty and family traditions...

What this seems to mean is you had an affair with a married man who refuses to leave his wife. This does not seem to have to do with either "loyalty" or "familly traditions" but simply old-fashioned cheating on your spouse. I suggest you find a non-married person to marry.

Looking at your chart you have Neptune (spirituality, also idealization, deception) opposite (energy is over-excited by) Venus (relationships) indicating both you can idealize your realationships (always looking for the "perfect" relationship) and can be deceived in relationships (which is what is most likely happening right now with this man). This man has a wife and a mistress (you)...why would he want to divorce his wife? He has the best of both worlds: a "solid married man" on one side, and plenty of fun and excitement on the other side (with you).

Since you have Aquarius (friends) modifying your Descendant (others) you may attract "friends" to you...people who want to close but not TOO close in their relationships. This possibility is increased since you also have Libra (relationships) modifying Uranus (friends).

The challenge is to find someone you can have a "friendly relationship" with who is NOT married. Remember...when they say, "I will leave my wife soon"...they have NOT yet left their wife. Wait until they leave their wife before you believe they will leave their wife. This will make YOUR life a LOT easier when it comes to relationships.

Relating,

Tim

[freedomlover]

Bellaluna,

I have started to post several times, but was a little hesitant. However, you keep posting, and I still feel drawn to this post, so maybe it is best that I add my say. Here goes:

First of all, Tim gave some very practical, logical advice, but I think it may need put in the context of something you said:

"The one thing that I always felt confident in was that I knew that we belong together and that one day we would be. I can only describe it as a strong calm faith of knowing, but as months have turned into years I'm starting to second-guess my intuition. Am I just fooling myself? Can someone please tell me why I feel this way? Am I wasting my time with this person?" (quote)

This is the issue I wish to address. I have been through a similar situation for a number of years, "knowing" that I was to be with a certain person. But as months dragged into years, I begin to doubt my knowing at times. This person I'm referring to is my twin soul. During the past several years, I have met several people who had a similar story to you. I had a strong feeling that they were dealing with twin soul issues. There is a common thread that runs through every one of these. Every couple meets and are together for a relatively short period of time. It has a fated quality to it. Either one or both will express having a "knowing" about the other person. But then the circumstances of their lives pull them in different directions, and they go through a long seperation. But it seems their path keeps crossing, or one will suddenly get in touch with the other. A couple of them got married right away, but ended up in divorce because they were not ready to get married, even though they were with the right person. Some of them are even in situations where one now hates the other, but that doesn't change the fact that they are twin souls.

Now, I don't know where you are on the Spiritual path, but the term" twin souls" means this: The other is the other half of you, and you can only truly be "one", when you become love. The more you can love others unconditionally, the more forgiveness you give, the closer you draw to your twin soul on the earthly plane. Operating the way the world works doesn't cut it. Even if you "made it happen", and you wound up together, it would not work out. In actuality, being with your twin soul is in some ways harder than others, because "the mirror effect" is more pronounced. Hurt goes deeper with twin souls. (By the way, there is a good thread on here called "the mirror effect", I believe, if you're unfamiliar with the concept.)

A very big key is to learn to love yourself. Don't be a victim. Don't let yourself be used. Tim made a very good point about not being the other woman. Do you realize that by continuing to play that part you are actually giving him the message that you think it is okay, and that you are willing to settle for that kind of relationship? That sounds like a sure-fire way to make sure it never happens between the two of you, even IF it was meant to be. No, it is much better to cut things off and "Let go and let God". If it is meant to be, it will be. (If you've never seen the movie, "Serendipity", please go out and rent it. If it's been a while, watch it again. It is an excellent example of how if something is supposed to happen, and you are willing - nothing can stop it.)

In the meantime, whether he is or isn't your twin soul, it would be best to begin working on you. If you're not on the spiritual path, now would be a good time to start. If you are, now would be a good time to seek to deepen it. Learn to love yourself and all life fully. Follow your bliss. Do what really brings you satisfaction in life. If he is your twin soul, one day he will show up. And if he isn't, then whoever your twin soul is -will.

Another good point Tim made was the "friends" issue. It may be best to cut yourself out of the dating scene for awhile or for periods of time while you work on you. But if you do date, I believe that it is best to keep things ONLY as friends. And by "friend", I mean a true friend, not just those that hang out and do the same things. This is part of the foundation for you and your twin soul. If you find things heating up between you and a "friend", it would be best to back off until you have self-control. Sexual intimacy too early in the relationship is actually your worst hindrance to loving yourself and the other, as funny as that may sound. And I have found that 99.9% of the time, people jump in to it too early. Are you willing to be celibate for a period of time? It really is crucial to the process.

Of course, it takes two to tango, and he would have to make the same kind of changes. However, if you ARE twin souls, one making the spiritual changes will gradually start to become a good influence on the other. This is because you and your twin soul are one at the core level. So, actually, doing this for yourself, is also the best thing you can do for him right now. He has his own lessons to learn.

I know some of this may not be what you WANT to hear. But I believe all of it was what you NEEDED to hear. As I said, I've been carrying all this around for several days, and felt I really needed to tell you this. I hope you're not offended. I do care, and I do understand how you feel.

Of course, you are the only one that can determine if this truly is your intuition guiding you this way. But the more you get into spiritual practice, the stronger your intuition will get. So you would gradually become more clear on the subject. Astrological interpretation can never substitute for your intuition.

Hope this helps give you some direction,

freedomlover

[BellaLuna]

Freedomlover thank you for understand. I think Tim misunderstood our relationship. If you recall we were both in the process of a separation when we meant. I was further along in the process. I guess when he was called to active duty he felt like he needed to do the right thing and went back to his wife. He was in Iraq for 14 months, we did communicate during that time and it was then that he told me he was coming home to be with me. You see she doesn’t love him, she has told him so, but for the children she feels that they need to be together. When he came home I knew he was staying with family, so I moved on and move 2000 miles away. So Tim, this was not a normal physical affair but an emotional and spiritual connection that I can’t explain. We both know that we belong together but because of the situation we choose not too. I do believe we are Twin Souls I always thought so. And I wish I didn’t feel the way I do or know what I know because it does hurt.

As for dating, I haven't dated anyone for over 2 years. Like I mentioned before I don't let know one close to me, which is why I was surprise when Mathur Dinesh saw marriage in my chart. I can't even envision myself with anyone. I have been spiritually working on myself which is why I asked the question "Why do I feel such a strong connect with the person and was second guessing my intuition. I do believe in Serendipity and I have try to let go and let God, but I guess I just wanted someone to give me hope if they saw something in our chart to confirm what I feel.

[BellaLuna]

One more thing I wanted to add. I was very angry with him, because I was feeling strong again, when he popped back into my life and told me she was leaving him. As I said previously, I was guarded but of course I had hoped it would be true. I have not made any moves toward his directions and he has seemed to pull away again. His last words to me were "What will be, will be"

[mathur_dinesh]

I have only interpreted the chart and conveyed my conclusions. I did not know the background but in my astrological practice I have seen that events happen despite intentions. An astrologer peeps into the divine scheme of things and comes up with only a fraction of what is destined, with His permission of course.
I would reiterate that marriage is indicated powerfully in your chart in the near future.

[BellaLuna]

Mathur dinesh,

I'm glad tto know that you see marriage in my chart. It does give me some hope that perhaps one day I will heal from this pain.

Thank you everyone who wrote me. I was not offended by any comments made. In fact, I value everyone’s opinion and appreciate that you took the time to write to a stranger in need. I wish you many blessing.

Sincerely,

Shanna