Healing: What aspects show my loneliness?

[Ness]

Hi all! I'm 25 years old and i never had a real love relationship. I dont wanna be sulky about that and i feel alot of energy right now to change this. I feel more confident lately and really want to make an effort to step out and find love.

I'm a very private person and i dont have alot of friends. I enjoy the company of my big family and i dont have the feeling that im missing out or something.

My lovelife is.... well, missing i guess hahahaha! I'm so curious to know what aspects in my chart point out the situation im in. Almost 3 years ago i met a guy who totally had me falling for him. It didnt work out. I freaked out because he touched me in a way i never even felt. I think i scared him off. He's still on my mind sometimes. I dont fall in love easily and he's the only person i have been in love with.

I dont know what to do, or think. I wanna change but dont know where to put my focus. Please help a girl out.

(sorry in advance for my spelling, english is not my first language)


Here's my chart:

http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_2gw_01_vanessa.51057.31018.gif&res=100&va=&cid=41afileMGdQ4H-u1181096624

[wilsontc]

Ness,

You asked:
I'm 25 years old and i never had a real love relationship...I'm a very private person...I enjoy the company of my big family...I'm so curious to know what aspects in my chart point out the situation im in...i met a guy...I freaked out because he touched me...I wanna change but dont know where to put my focus.

You have a bundle chart with the focus in the personal houses (houses 1-4). This indicates you focus on personal issues and are not one to relate to others. You have :neptune: (spirituality, also idealization) :conjunct: (energy is combined with) :venus: (relationships) :conjunct: :jupiter: (expansion) focused in the home (also emotions) house. So you idealize relationships in a big, emotional way and have an idealized connection with your family. However, least aspected (strong energy) :mars: (being, also action) in :aquarius: (friends) is in the dating house outside this bundle.

And it works this way. You bundle all your energy in about yourself, and idealize your relationships. When a relationship starts to come closer to you it loses its "perfection" and you lose interest in it since it isn't "perfect" any more. And if the relationship gets TOO close and passes up the "dating" stage, you feel that it is going WAY beyond being "friends" and you take action to get rid of it and look for more "friends" to date (people close but not TOO close). However, since you aren't aware of this dating focus (least aspected :mars:) you usually avoid dating for awhile until someone else catches your interest (however long that takes). And then the cycle begins again.

Instead, set out to find people who can be "dating friends": people you hang around with, go out in a comfortable, open place to casually date. And see where things go. And get over the idea of relationship "perfection". It doesn't exist. Instead, work TOGETHER to create "perfection" in the relationship. And that takes TWO people who agree to work together. And finding that combination takes time and effort.

Dating friends,

Tim

[Ness]

Hi Tim,

Thank you so much for your reply! You are very accurate.

However, since you aren't aware of this dating focus (least aspected :mars:) you usually avoid dating for awhile until someone else catches your interest (however long that takes). And then the cycle begins again.

I love the 'however long that takes' because it does take a very loooooong time for me to be open again. Im so closed it's silly and i don't understand why i have so many issues with being open en receptive. Sometimes i realise that my expectations are to high but still i find it very difficult to put them aside.

I still have these burning questions: Why am i so afraid? What am i afraid of? When will i feel comfortable enough to open up? I'm now very focused on these issues and working hard to overcome them. Thats why i decided to post my chart here.

Again Tim, thanks so much!! I love the way you interpret my chart so i could see where the focus of these issues are.