aek11
11-16-2009, 06:39 AM
So...I've been having Uranus square my Ascendant. My natal ascendant and natal Uranus are at 22 degrees Sagittarius. Right now, Uranus is at 22 Pisces. As it retrogrades and soon goes forward again, it will pass natal Uranus/Ascendant for the last time. Also my natal Uranus rules my 2nd house.
One thing I noticed is that for a lot of my transits, the external effects happen on the last transit. Whereas for any previous transits, they are deep internal conflicts and dilemnas.
The past year, I moved to a city out of state. Then moved back to the original state but a different city. It all started with me feeling dissatisfied with myself as a person. All of a sudden, I was all like seeing certain behaviors in myself...of giving my power away to others. And certain codependent patterns that I had never noticed before. It started to reallly bother me and I began to try to "overpower" or dominate everybody. Also, I started seeing the truth about mistakes I had made in the past. Of treat others without respect. Of how I was almost like a sociopath, not caring about how my actions affect other people. When I realized these truths, I became very afraid of myself....of what I would do to others, and of course how that would hurt me in the end. I sort of became a hermit for many months. I also hated how fake I had been. And I began to hate all shallow social constructs.....and I resented having to participate in it.
Also I would like to point out that I was having Saturn conjunct my natal Mars, Sun, and Venus this whole time and it squared my Ascendant/natal Uranus. To differentiate Saturn's effects and Uranus's effects on me. I think Saturn, made me really depressed and made me be totally alone. And to feel like there's no point of everything. When it was conjuncting my Sun, those few months, I stayed home for the whole time. Did not go out AT ALL. I just laid there and I didn't even cry. I just stopped caring. And my ego just was dying dying dying. It's like every tactic that my ego had previously used, were killed and the ego was so distressed. All the delusions that my ego had created to keep itself safe had the light shined onto it. Everything that I "valued" myself for got killed.
Then on Saturn's last pass of Sun, everything came into place. My ego rebuilt itself on new and truer grounds. Then when Saturn squared Ascendant, I became a much more responsible person (a quality I had seriously lacked before). And it left for good.
As for Uranus, Uranus made me see the truths. And after it showed me the truths, it showed me that sometimes, it's okay to do things that are not the TRUEST. It's okay to participate in those shallow social traditions and habits. It showed me the REAL TRUTH. Which is that there doesn't have to be a dominator/dominated complex. That it can just be. That I don't have to TRY to be a good person or TRY NOT to be a bad person. That if I know what's true to me, then I can just be. Hard to explain but these are what I learned, as elementary as they may seem.
So back to Uranus's last pass through squaring my Ascendant/Natal Uranus which rules 2nd house. Well, I got an unexpected source of money, which is always pretty awesome.
I have a renewed sense of self. I swear I have had more changes in the past 3 months than the past 12 years (and that includes puberty!)
Next stop is Uranus opposing my natal Venus at 23 Virgo which is in my 9th house and rules my 10th and 5th houses. I'm anxious to see what that will bring ecause last time I had a major transit to natal Venus, not including Saturn, was Pluto's square several years ago. I seriously went crazy that time. What I mean is, I did so many impulsive things, tat were fun at the time but regrets later, my guess is that this is my second chance to do over the things that happened back then, except this time knowing what I didnt know back then.
Sorry for the long self-analysis! LoL. Anything you would like to add or give insight on will be great. Also, here's my question.
What do you think I can expect when Uranus opposes natal Venus for last time?
Also, soon after, Saturn will conjunct natal Mercury (in 9th house, rules 9th, 7th, 6th houses), and Pluto will square natal Mercury.
One thing I noticed is that for a lot of my transits, the external effects happen on the last transit. Whereas for any previous transits, they are deep internal conflicts and dilemnas.
The past year, I moved to a city out of state. Then moved back to the original state but a different city. It all started with me feeling dissatisfied with myself as a person. All of a sudden, I was all like seeing certain behaviors in myself...of giving my power away to others. And certain codependent patterns that I had never noticed before. It started to reallly bother me and I began to try to "overpower" or dominate everybody. Also, I started seeing the truth about mistakes I had made in the past. Of treat others without respect. Of how I was almost like a sociopath, not caring about how my actions affect other people. When I realized these truths, I became very afraid of myself....of what I would do to others, and of course how that would hurt me in the end. I sort of became a hermit for many months. I also hated how fake I had been. And I began to hate all shallow social constructs.....and I resented having to participate in it.
Also I would like to point out that I was having Saturn conjunct my natal Mars, Sun, and Venus this whole time and it squared my Ascendant/natal Uranus. To differentiate Saturn's effects and Uranus's effects on me. I think Saturn, made me really depressed and made me be totally alone. And to feel like there's no point of everything. When it was conjuncting my Sun, those few months, I stayed home for the whole time. Did not go out AT ALL. I just laid there and I didn't even cry. I just stopped caring. And my ego just was dying dying dying. It's like every tactic that my ego had previously used, were killed and the ego was so distressed. All the delusions that my ego had created to keep itself safe had the light shined onto it. Everything that I "valued" myself for got killed.
Then on Saturn's last pass of Sun, everything came into place. My ego rebuilt itself on new and truer grounds. Then when Saturn squared Ascendant, I became a much more responsible person (a quality I had seriously lacked before). And it left for good.
As for Uranus, Uranus made me see the truths. And after it showed me the truths, it showed me that sometimes, it's okay to do things that are not the TRUEST. It's okay to participate in those shallow social traditions and habits. It showed me the REAL TRUTH. Which is that there doesn't have to be a dominator/dominated complex. That it can just be. That I don't have to TRY to be a good person or TRY NOT to be a bad person. That if I know what's true to me, then I can just be. Hard to explain but these are what I learned, as elementary as they may seem.
So back to Uranus's last pass through squaring my Ascendant/Natal Uranus which rules 2nd house. Well, I got an unexpected source of money, which is always pretty awesome.
I have a renewed sense of self. I swear I have had more changes in the past 3 months than the past 12 years (and that includes puberty!)
Next stop is Uranus opposing my natal Venus at 23 Virgo which is in my 9th house and rules my 10th and 5th houses. I'm anxious to see what that will bring ecause last time I had a major transit to natal Venus, not including Saturn, was Pluto's square several years ago. I seriously went crazy that time. What I mean is, I did so many impulsive things, tat were fun at the time but regrets later, my guess is that this is my second chance to do over the things that happened back then, except this time knowing what I didnt know back then.
Sorry for the long self-analysis! LoL. Anything you would like to add or give insight on will be great. Also, here's my question.
What do you think I can expect when Uranus opposes natal Venus for last time?
Also, soon after, Saturn will conjunct natal Mercury (in 9th house, rules 9th, 7th, 6th houses), and Pluto will square natal Mercury.