Deeply Ingrained Behavior Patterns

[Shining Ray]

I was re-reading through Martin Schulman's Karmic Astrology, The Moon's Nodes and Reincarnation. I am a believer of having lived past lives before, anyway here is a list of what the book states are my karmic lessons this lifetime. (general overview). How does my 4th house Neptune create difficulty in following this path, and how can I overcome it?

Chart First

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/7254/shiningraynodechart.gif (http://img513.imageshack.us/i/shiningraynodechart.gif/)

Virgo North Node - Pisces South Node

1. Prior tendencies to be dependent on others, as well as to swim in the self-pity of non-achievement are strong obstacles to be dealt with and surpassed in the current life.

2. He must work to build his confidence, from which he learns that nothing happens in his life until his goals and objectives are clearly defined.

3. In the past the individual was deceived by many through his over compassionate tendency to fall for sob stories. He thereby allows external sorrows to drain him of his strength, until he reaches the point where he has had enough.

4. He must avoid escapism and daydreaming at all costs, for in the end these weaken him to the point that he may forget how to function on the physical plane.

5. Many people with this nodal position have been through past-life persecution experiences, and as a result they develop a deep understanding of the pain of others.

6. These Nodes are especially helpful in the fields of medicine and healing, where the past life carry over of a strong compassion for humanity, coupled with a fresh desire for perfection, can be readily expressed.

7.His current karma is to strive for purification and perfection in himself, while tolerating with gentleness weakness in others. This brings him his biggest lesson - self discipline! He must learn clearly when to let the water run, when to shut it off and when to alter it's course.

8. This individual is starting to make things work on the earth plane. He is confronted with putting this knowledge to use, rather than daydreaming about some future far off moment when all his dreams might come true.

9. He is to become a focusing lens on a form projector which contains millions upon millions of blurred negatives. Yet through his North Node he is capable of refining each one so that ultimately no knowledge he has ever acquired will be wasted.

10. The house position of the South Node indicates the area in which a past incarnation reached cosmic understanding. The house position of the North Node shows the area through which crystallisation can now bring understanding.

First House North Node seventh House South Node

1. This individual is here to go through experiences which challenge the self.

2. Spending too much time trying to help others understand themselves, he never stopped to reflect on how their same situations and circumstances played an important role in their own identity.

3. These Nodes indicate past incarnations in which the individual submerged his identity in the affairs of others. Marriage and partnerships are so deeply rooted in his way of doing things that his quest of self is constantly viewed through other people's eyes. He therefore allows their thoughts and opinions of him to influence his own sense of identity.

4. He must ultimately learn how to assume gracefully the role of leadership. This is extremely difficult, because he has had so much prior-life experience in being submissive. He sacrificed himself so that others could achieve their goals.

5. Now the highest growth potential is to establish a sense of self without shutting off completely the benefits of marriage and partnerships. Too often he becomes aware of all he has sacrificed through his South Node, he becomes an extremist, feeling that one state of existence inhibits the other. He starts focusing every pat of his life energy around the desire to lead rather than be led.

[EJ53]

How does my 4th house Neptune create difficulty in following this path, and how can I overcome it?

Hi Shiny,

Why do you see Neptune as creating difficulty...........Is it the square to the North Node?.....Which seems to be more about action leading to (rather than difficulty in) achieving the Node objectives......especially as Neptune is exhalted/on best behaviour in 4th and not unhelpful in Sagittarius.
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I see the Virgo/Pisces axis as being about "perfecting ourself to better serve others" and the 1/7 axis as being about "becoming assertive (rather than aggressive/passive) to participate as an equal in relationships"......So, your karmic task (as detailed by Martin Schulman) is to work towards perfecting yourself (Virgo) by learning to be assertive (1st) in order to serve others more effectively (Pisces) as an equal in relationships (7th).............which Christ demonstrated by washing the feet of his disciples.........and you'd describe as "ensuring there is a doormat available rather than being it yourself"........(and I'd define as being the hammer rather than the anvil).

Thus, my guess is that Neptune's role is simply to assist the process by dissolving any beliefs/psychological foundations (Sagittarius/4th) which might be a barrier to achieving your new North Node thinking/outlook......along the lines indicated by Martin Schulman in Volume IV (The Karma of the Now) of his "Karmic Astrology" series.

EJ:smile:

[Shining Ray]

Thanks for your input EJ. Yes it's the square from Neptune to the Nodes, in the same Karmic book, it says planets square the nodes distract from the central theme of life. They represent areas in which the individual in past incarnations has allowed himself to scatter off his path. Now he finds these planets as detours on the way home.

The planet Neptune is at the t,square of my nodes, and the negative expression is oversensitivity, existing in a perpetual fog, placing myself in a sacrificial role, maybe too much selflessness (very similar to Pisces meaning, as it is my SN ruler). Maybe I avoid the North Node lessons by allowing the past (4th) or my own family situation block my path towards (as you say) becoming more assertive and learning to serve others more effectively, through self-discipline and discrimination, and as Martin Schulman said becoming more "focused" on my goals (Saturn) achieving more self mastery, and a self filter for the environment.

Lately in the last couple of days my head has felt very cloudy and unfocused, as you can see from my chart I am highly prone to this with my Nodal rulers Mercury-Neptune in square to one another. I am distracted, escapist, dependent, and less self-sufficient. I haven't really been motivated. The days pass without any real purpose. The sign of Pisces has a tendency to flow with the tides, rather than move in any specific direction. It feels like I am sinking back into bad habits (deeply ingrained behaviors).

It's like I feel at times I make some progress, but a situation or event can throw me back into self-defeating ways. I should really go over my transits as perhaps something there is triggering these issues again. I feel I am dependent at times, and it ruins my self esteem. I want to be able to get up and face the day with confidence, achieve more with my time. Perhaps what keeps tripping me up, is (as you say) my ingrained beliefs, and my psychological foundations. Do you think doing activities involving my opposite Neptune house might help? in the "outer world". I often feel isolated from the real world, that might not make sense. Maybe I should open up more and communicate to others.

My emotional connection and sensitivity to my family (is powerful) and could be preventing me from exploring my "own identity". Perhaps I should draw strength from my family and the spiritual aspect of myself. I need to develop my skills in analyzing and discriminating. If I integrate these aspects then I will be better able to offer service to others, and apply my Piscean gifts in a practical way. I do believe I need to filter out (Virgo) a lot of negative beliefs, otherwise I can't think straight and with every-one's else opinions of me, I can lose clarity of "who I am".

I need to order my personality and be able to sift through all the emotional baggage I carry around, involving guilt, suffering, disillusionment, self-pity. I am very like the ocean I pick up every bit of energy good and bad (a lot of rubbish gets dumped in the ocean). Both my Moon and Mercury pick up "everything". It can leave me with accumulated energy, many people's thoughts and feelings, and "I" have been lost in process. People misread me a lot as well, and misunderstand who I really am, but it is "my job" to define who I am. I shouldn't allow other people to tell me what I should do, or how I should think, what I should wear, how I should walk or talk. I feel like a empty shell when that happens, and I have no real identity...

My partner a few weeks ago took me aside and told me how I need to not let other people's opinion define me. ( I have major oversensitivity to what others think about me). He has seen how I can be easily affected by everything.

I nice Ocean Picture. :wink: Brighten up the post... The Ocean is beautiful when it's blue and "clear".

http://www.sciencedaily.com/images/2007/11/071129132753-large.jpg

[Awakened_Pisces]

I sadly don't have this book. But I have True Node in the 5th house in Capricorn,and the South Node in the 11th house in Cancer.

[Shining Ray]

The relationship with my mother has had some affect as well. I would feel low if she said a negative thought about me (she also said positive things). At times I felt manipulated with emotional blackmail, and I felt I had to make her feel better all the time, and my own emotions and feelings where not recognised. After my father died she said she wanted to commit suicide etc, and it can leave you feeling that everything can fall apart. When I got a new boyfriend she used to upset me on purpose, by criticizing me about something minor before I was due to go out, It left me feeling guilty for moving on with my own life, and I did feel sad because she didn't have my father and was alone. Perhaps on some unconscious level I still feel guilty.

If I didn't agree with her on something, or do what she wanted I got called selfish and ungrateful, she could have an emotional storm, and easily fly off the handle, and her mood lasted for over a couple of hours, where she slammed doors, shouted downstairs at how ungrateful we where, and after "all she has done for us" etc. My father would often tell her to leave us alone, but my mother was the dominant one in the family. There was no physical violence, only once she struck me across the face, but that was the only time. My mother helps me as well, and I do love her. Perhaps through these "soul memories" I feel if I separate and become independent I will let people down, or hurt them. I had a bad first relationship and he used threats of suicide so I wouldn't leave him, and I got emotionally manipulated, and gave him money when he needed it, I always tried to help him. My life has improved a lot since then, and I am not ungrateful for what I have. I am a mother myself now, and my partner is a kind man and we have a nice family life, which is what I have always dreamed of. However, I still feel the past has a grip on me. Obviously not consciously but it's there as part of my emotional memories (a powerful unconscious hold). I don't want to make out it's all her "fault", (which is a childish view to have) because as a grown-up I have the power now to live my life as I choose. I need to start believing it more...

I hate talking about the past I sound like such a "victim", or "martyr", and it's uncomfortable to read what I have written, and I feel guilty for saying these things, because in many ways my mother has done good things for me as well. I am just trying to clear these feelings, and have been "trying" for years. I am obviously not very good at working through these issues...

[Awakened_Pisces]

I hate talking about my past as well, the past is but that: The past. However, I open it up anyway for that's the only way your gonna settle things! But, in my opinion I don't think you should feel guilty. You should stand tall and proud. Everyone makes mistakes,and we'll all make plenty more in the future. Take advantage of your Uranus in Scorpio to gain the deep insight and knowledge you need to move forward.

Knowledge is power ;)

[Shining Ray]

Thanks Awakened Pisces, I do like my Uranus it's the most nicely aspected planet in my chart. Yes the past needs to be dug up now and again, although I want this to be the last time I mention it, and I do want to just move on. I was thinking today that all my Moon/Mercury connections to Neptune/4th and Uranus in 3rd symbolize all the spiritual conversations I have had with my mother, and I mean we would talk for hours about spiritual subjects like life after death, palmistry, tarot, astrology (that was mostly me lol) ghost, spirit guides, aliens, dreams, you name it we talked about it. I could comfortably talk about all subjects involving the mysterious aspects of life. I think my mother was just frustrated at times, she wanted to write children's books but it never manifested, who knows. I thought I needed to add the positive aspects to the relationship as well, it wasn't all negative and the good outweighed the bad.

Thank you for the kind words :wink:

[EJ53]

.....my Nodal rulers Mercury-Neptune in square to one another.

Ah yes, Neptune square Mercury/Moon (in Pisces/7th).......the unconscious mind consistently focusing the conscious/subconscious mind on the past/SN matters........I missed that completely, and can see how this strongly placed and well-behaved Neptune will "distract from the central/Virgo theme).......Still think it helps rather than hinders though.
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For example, if we look at your posts on this thread, Neptune has done an excellent job of helping you/moon to extract from the past the issues that need to be addressed to move forward (towards the North Node) in the future........as required by Uranus (which forms a learning triangle with Neptune/Moon/Mercury) and already pointed out by Awakened Pisces and JJ.

But, it's in a confusing Neptunian/Piscean format rather than a clear Mercurial/Virgoan listing of salient points that need to be addressed.

So, to move towards the North Node, you now need to convert your post into a Virgo "to do/not to do" list of points............I allow the past/my family situation to block my path........etc..........I let other people's opinion define me....etc.......I allow others to hang guilt trips on me.

Then, you have to work on overcoming them one-by-one..........And here, you have to be aware of your intercepted Gemin/Sagittarius/Neptune on 10/4 axis ("locking up" a past life ability to access the unconscious mind until you correct an "inapproriate 1/7 axis attitude" relating to the duplicated signs of Virgo/Pisces).

(Note : Interestingly, at your last birthday progressed PoF was conjunct natal Pluto; progressed Venus conjoined natal Mars; progressed Mars/Vertex was crossing natal Mercury/Moon and progressed 1st house cusp was moving into the natal 2nd house........suggesting a beneficial transformation of your thinking on relationships.)

EJ:smile:

[Shining Ray]

Same here. Go ahead still because you have Chiron/Saturn(?) in Opposition to Sun / Moon / Mercury. That's not a easy ride...

/JJ

Hi Jenna :smile:

I only have Sun-Saturn the chart looks like it is more powerfully opposed and squared because I included the Nodal Aspects for this thread. My Moon/Mercury escape Saturn. However, I am currently having Saturn on my Nodes, and it is on and off Moon/Mercury in transits for a while. Forcing reality, forming identity, defining views emotionally it might get depressing. I seem to have real sad moments, but bounce back alright. I have mixture of qualities from happy spirit to deep confusion, feeling lost, and unsure of where my life is going. I feel happy with a lot in my life, I just need to have more confidence in myself and abilities.

[Shining Ray]

Ah yes, Neptune square Mercury/Moon (in Pisces/7th).......the unconscious mind consistently focusing the conscious/subconscious mind on the past/SN matters........I missed that completely, and can see how this strongly placed and well-behaved Neptune will "distract from the central/Virgo theme).......Still think it helps rather than hinders though.

Yes it does completely, the pull of the tide constantly sways my thinking drifting me off course a lot.

For example, if we look at your posts on this thread, Neptune has done an excellent job of helping you/moon to extract from the past the issues that need to be addressed to move forward (towards the North Node) in the future........as required by Uranus (which forms a learning triangle with Neptune/Moon/Mercury) and already pointed out by Awakened Pisces and JJ.

I didn't know Uranus formed a learning triangle. I explore mentally at a deep level, I can have the ability to be more intuitive (future trends) I don't mentally view life as stagnant but a constant revolving learning experience. Each point in time, brings in new perspectives. I have been reflecting a lot because I had a weird week, my uncle died unexpectedly, (possibly transiting Pluto in 4th in-conjunct my natal Jupiter) my mother has gone abroad on holiday. I have had new revelations this week. Lots of other things have sent me into a weird introspective mood. This isn't a bad thing, perhaps it's a learning experience, addressing past issues, and clearing the mental and emotional debris.

But, it's in a confusing Neptunian/Piscean format rather than a clear Mercurial/Virgoan listing of salient points that need to be addressed.


So, to move towards the North Node, you now need to convert your post into a Virgo "to do/not to do" list of points............I allow the past/my family situation to block my path........etc..........I let other people's opinion define me....etc.......I allow others to hang guilt trips on me.

Then, you have to work on overcoming them one-by-one..........And here, you have to be aware of your intercepted Gemin/Sagittarius/Neptune on 10/4 axis ("locking up" a past life ability to access the unconscious mind until you correct an "inapproriate 1/7 axis attitude" relating to the duplicated signs of Virgo/Pisces).

Yes that is good advice. I should make a list of to do's not do's. When to make a choice for myself and feel confident in my opinion and not let others make me feel bad, or guilty. Know when to offer Piscean sympathy and when to pull away if the individual is making me feel guilty. It's balancing the sensitivity with the discrimination, what deserves my time and what is a waste of time and only leads to self defeating behavior. What pulls me back into not moving towards my goals, and defining my own identity.


(Note : Interestingly, at your last birthday progressed PoF was conjunct natal Pluto; progressed Venus conjoined natal Mars; progressed Mars/Vertex was crossing natal Mercury/Moon and progressed 1st house cusp was moving into the natal 2nd house........suggesting a beneficial transformation of your thinking on relationships.)

Relationships weighing heavy on my mind, sorting and clarifying my feelings for others. I wonder if there have been any nice aspects to my Uranus, as my computer is running smoothly, I have all four of my astrology programs loaded in now because before my CD drive was broke. It all happened by accident. as I had tried to repair it before but nothing was happening (frustrating). Computers are Uranus, so perhaps the nice clean wipe of all the viruses in my computer and all the new software loaded again, will happen to my brain as well (two connected in a funny way). I should load in new innovative and future possibilities into my head and wipe out the negative programming. I guess Uranus has this power, in a way like astrology. Seeing negative patterns, and understanding how the universe affects us, our own blockages etc. Maybe I can run more efficiently :biggrin:. I will check my transits, if I see anything interesting involving Uranus I will check back.:wink:

Thank you EJ your time is very much appreciated.

[Shining Ray]

The only Uranus aspect was T.Uranus conjunct 8th house cusp and trining my 4th house cusp, I had some unexpected feelings last week. I have been surprised by some of my reactions to situations. I have felt very different, like a new energy is awakening my feelings. It was weird, but kind of nice weird (Uranus trine).

The death of my uncle is probably shown by Uranus conjunct the 8th house and T. Pluto in 4th, inconjunct Jupiter in Leo 11th. His death was a surprise. He died of a heart attack, might have brought back memories of my own fathers death, he died of sudden heart attack as well. I know my angles must be correct, I was worried they where out as English birth times relies on memory, our birth times are not recorded. Uranus rules my 6th house and is in my 3rd house natally. Might explain my computer being fixed again lol.

I have the progressed Moon coming to conjunct my 9th house Chiron in Taurus. I will observe how this affects me as I want understand Chiron in the chart more. Saturn is on my Nodes and I will search around for the effects of this.

That's it really, me just trying clarify current experiences. As I said it has been a strange week.

[EJ53]

The only Uranus aspect was T.Uranus conjunct 8th house cusp and trining my 4th house cusp

Your uncle's death does seem to be an " external event" that fits this well, Shiny..........but the "inner event" may be about psychological changes (4th) due to an unexpected loss (8th).........(Perhaps you and he shared some "wrong" values, which his death may allow you to review and let go of.......That happened with me, when my father died.)

EJ:unsure:

[Lulu-B]

Shining Ray, if you still have Schulman's book try reading North Node in Leo/ South Node in Aquarius as well. In sidereal charting or Vedic astrology you have this node.

JUst from some quick looks at some of your Sabian Symbols and some of your planetary placements I get the impression in your past you were probably involved in the spreading of spiritual knowledge, as a priest or monk (Pisces South Node, as well as Pisces Moon and Sun). I think alot of your ingrained behavior patterns are based around this becasue many of your Sabian Symbols point to getting messages and spiritual understandings in your daily life from normal things like reading the paper or looking at road signs as you drive to work.

Being a Pisces you find it hard to find anyone who can help you change because you are usually always willing to admit your mistakes or shortcomings (or at least you think you are, sorry) and you end up with the last word whether you state it or not. Pisces are nowhere near as changeable as people think and you with your Taurus MC shows that your ego is wrapped around your values which are probably based on a concern for others and what you believe to be selfless acts, so you may have had the same values your whole life. Problem is, I could be wrong here, but when you go and do a selfless act you ego probably throws out a thought of what may come of it. Taurus tends to do that. Here's where you may get some change, don't hate me, but ask yourself if your sacrificial acts are REALLY that sacrificial or are you doing things based on the fact that you think you should or it is the best thing to do, because that is almost like fear. Maybe there are some past life based fears of God or Gods taking it out on you for not doing something, or doing even something. South Node in PIsces asks you to give up superstitions, like I will be struck by lighting if I don't help or say a word against God. Maybe that is part of the Neptune square Nodes as well as Neptune square Saturn (fear). It helped me break through this by realizing I don't want to believe in God "just in case"
because I think that is how most people are. The idea of blasphemy probably freaks you out, and even if it comes out of someone elses mouth you might think you should be punished for not saying anything, but who are you to tell someone else what to believe. Does this sound like you? Because it will all fall down. I'll get back to that later.

Mars in Aquarius shows that you are concerned with deliberate action, with all of that Pisces and Virgo you might worry about where you place the handsoap on the sink because it may represent something happening in the larger scheme of things. When you walk you may be focused on correct posture and foot placement for optimal calorie usage as well as to present yourself well because the right action or choice should work in the best interest of everything and everybody, right? Great in theory (Neptune, Pisces thinking with some Virgo body obsession and that Mars in Aquarius). Will write more later. Still have good Node stuff in my brain.