Testing time!

[MidnightDevil]

Hi!

I have a sort of complex question about me and my actual transits.
I'm going start to explain how it goes in real life.

I got a new position at work, something I wanted to reach, however isnt easy. Money still the same yet, my boss oftens keeps making our life almost hell (in the last 2 days we've been calm and steady though, wonder if this test time is over lol), I got to accept some power too which I have. I think I'm denying the best use of it so far, but I don't have any problems using it either when necessary. Thing is, I think Im prepared for whatever it comes in this level.
Last year was smooth in what matters of professional life, this year, impacts are starting to be felt.

Then, I think I broke up today (again, I guess, but I want to stop with this ridiculous self-affirmation every day attitude). She keeps being jealous that I have friends and a rather active social life. Well! I **** don't! And by what I understand from her, a perfect boyfriend would be at home or with her or leaving together already. I guess a girl like this it's hard to find these days, so I don't think she's wrong, but I know Im not going to be that image for the glory of her stability and pride. Even though she has no reasons, she keeps saying bad things about my friends that she hardly knows, she keeps judging everyone from my circle of closeste people when she dont knows them at all. She's kinda anti-social, Im cool with it, but I dont want her forbiding me from having friends and be with them once in a while. And mostly, male friends, I got only one female friend.
This has reached into a state where I can barely handle it. It's jealousness and possessive atitude everytime. So Im sick and tired.

I've been looking at what transits are hitting me most, and where areas are being "tested". Last year was her alone that worried me, this year, it's (I hope it "was) my job too worrying me!

Let's see, I got Uranus in Pisces conjuncting my natal sun (freedom, fight for freedom, social life).

I got Saturn squaring Saturn (argh.... the worst of all).

But something keeps forbiding me from being who I want to. I have to keep self affirmating myself every day! I have a great sense of humor and good friends which helps me a lot, but I got my lacks of patience as well.

Can someone give me a highlight about this events? Im getting confused everyday. Sure sun conjuncted a while with my natal sun, but I dont want to use all of the strenght it gave me right away lol..

Please, Id really appreciate it!

Here's my chart!

http://devilish.ath.cx/others/transits06.gif

[Kite]

I did the math by just looking at your chart so would need to be confirmed but I believe your progressed Sun is conjuncting Mars. Sun sits in 11 (your friends) and rules 5 (romance). Sun on Mars in Aries in 12 could account for the fight with your girl friend over your friends as well as her paranoia (12th house) regarding your behavior.

Progressed Sun in 12 is always a challenge in terms of feeling boxed in so self-expression would seem inhibited and you feel the need to ajust your life with the inconjunct to Saturn in the 7th house. Either move in or move out is sounds like you're left with right now.

Pluto is on your 9th house cusp very close to Neptune. Pluto natally conjuncts your descendant and rules the 7th house so no wonder you are feeling like you are confronting her ideas about what you should be doing with her. Pluto backs up soon so maybe she'll let up as well but you know Pluto will be around this point for awhile and Neptune also rules the 12th house too.

Maybe you can clone yourself.

Kite

[MidnightDevil]

I guess thats the best idea.

Well yeah, progressed sun is conjuncting my mars on the 12H. Pluto is also kissing my Neptunian ... back side!

What's next?

:?

[sita]

Midnight Devil,
I am finding myself doing excessive self affirmation as well, and I hate it. I long for the time when I KNEW who I was/am, and didn't need the stupid self affirmations to keep me up and feeling peachy keen. I've been tracking this one, and the fact that we are both doing this may be related to the fact that we both have natl Saturn retrograde, and transitting Saturn retrograded on November 22nd, 2005 and will be retrograde until April 5th, 2006. Retrograde Saturn in notorious for breaks in self-confidence.

An idea. :?:

Sita

[Arian Maverick]

I've been tracking this one, and the fact that we are both doing this may be related to the fact that we both have natl Saturn retrograde, and transitting Saturn retrograded on November 22nd, 2005 and will be retrograde until April 5th, 2006. Retrograde Saturn in notorious for breaks in self-confidence.

I didn't realize Saturn would turn direct on my birthday...what a wonderful gift! :mrgreen:

Aquarian Maverick

[MidnightDevil]

Im not sure if it's saturn fault, it's been happenning for 2 years now lol.

First with my gf, then with my boss. Sort of "Are you sure you wanna be like that?" and I answer... "if you keep bitching I might change my mind" LOL, but its me and cant avoid being me! :D

[wilsontc]

Midnight,

You said:
...I got a new position at work, something I wanted to reach...I got to accept some power too which I have...She keeps being jealous that I have friends and a rather active social life...I dont want her forbiding me from having friends...

You mentioned the Saturn square, but you also have many Saturn (duty, also career) trines (energy goes very easily with) at this time, which seems to be helping your career. Since you have Libra (relationships) moidifying Pluto (transformation, also power, control) conjunct (energy is combined with) Descendant (others), you have the ability to control others or others have the ability to control you (if you don't own your own power). The transiting Pluto squares (energy needs to be combined with) and sextiles (energy goes very easily with) are helping you to be more aware of your power at this time. You sound to be using these energies well in your new career opportunities.

Looking at the relationship issues, you have Saturn (duty, also structure) focused in the 7th house (relationships), indicating you like stability in relationships. On the other hand, you have Uranus (friends, also impulse) conjunct Jupiter (expansion) trine Venus (relationships) focused in the 12th house (Venus in the house of its exaltation, strong energy), indicating you have a STRONG urge for impulsive freedom and "friendship" in relationships: close but not TOO close. Unless the different energies of need for structure and urge for freedom are brought to some type of "agreement" there is a risk of being VERY confused about how to respond to relationships.

An approach to try is to structure and REstructure relationships. Your girlfriend could help with this. Agree between you both, on a structure for your relationship. Then, when disagreements come up (such as the one you are having now), work together wiht her to REstructure the relationship according to the new needs. One warning, however...this will most likely NOT work if you "lay down the law" in a "my way or the highway" type of speech. Instead, see if you can work out a way to have "power sharing", so there are some areas of the relationship where you have control and some areas where she has control.

After all, in order for a relationship to work, it requires the work of BOTH people in the relationship. If you are not willing to do this, and if she annoys you that much, maybe it is time to ask yourself whether or not you want to be in a relationship at all?

Relating,

Tim

[MidnightDevil]

It is impossible, there's nothing left to say, because what she asks me, its wrong (leave everyone and be with her alone everytime).

I usually connect well my friends and the person I have closest to me, close, but not too close, I never had problems to find out what response I should give :)

I don't think having friends and be with them socially isnt a mistake, isnt wrong in my nature and so, I do not have to avoid them. I don't forbid anyone from being with me during that time so Im not listening to any more complaints cause there's nothing to really to complain about.

That pluto thing I guess it's kinda true, I guess I have to be more in control of my power!

True, I like structures in relashionships, even though I know feelings are not easy to put in order, I feel rather organized putting things in the right place and managing my time!

wilsontc, thank you a lot for your explanations, they were clear, but in my particular situation, I don't think there's nothing left to be restructured. It's a 1 or a 0, a yes or no, either she handles it, with me or without me, or she can leave (it took 1 full year to reach this state). Im ready for it, cause there's nothing left good to take from the relashionship.